PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans

by Joseph, Fabiola;L. Ramsey, Matthew

  “What’s going on?” he asked.

  I looked at Breeze and made a face to let him know that he could answer that one since after all he was in charge.

  “Rob, stop recording.” Breeze gave the camera man a second to hit the pause button on his camera. “Okay, let’s stop putting up these facades, and cut to the chase. Tyree, Fantasy Pictures actually produces adult films. All of our models are featured in them. All of the money I said you could make wasn’t a lie, but you basically have to fuck on film to make it. Just from looking at what we have here so far I can tell you’d be perfect for the job. If you decide to proceed and do a sex scene today I’ll give you three thousand dollars, and if the footage is as good as I think it will be I can present you with a contract stating you will make an additional 20 thousand to do five more films. If those films do well then we would present you with a new contract. If you feel like this is something you absolutely don’t want to be a part of then I can only give you five hundred dollars for the pictures, and for your time. If you need to take a moment to think about it, then please do so.”

  “This is some crazy shit. Let me get this straight you want to record me and Jamar running a train on some bitch? I can’t believe this.” He paused before saying “Well, who is she, and where is she at?”

  I could tell he was frustrated but at the same time curious to see who Breeze wanted him to fuck. I decided to finally come clean.

  “There’s no female involved. He wants to record us in a scene together.”

  “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I ain’t gay. Damn, you lied and knew about this all along didn’t you? I knew you were fruity, but I thought you could help me get a job. If there was a fine ass female in front of me right now then maybe we could work something out, otherwise there’s no deal.”

  “I’m sorry Tyree, but technically I never lied to you. I said there was modeling, acting, and nudity involved. That’s exactly what this is. I thought maybe if you were here, and talked to Breeze you would be interested, especially since you need the money.” I felt bad that he was upset, but I wanted to remind him that he was broke.

  “Tyree, I understand where you’re coming from, but I have more than enough straight actors. Besides the men who star in our straight films don’t make that much money, because they are considered props. Our straight consumers are paying to see beautiful women, not the men who are fucking them. I need men for our gay films, so the choice is yours,” Breeze stated.

  Tyree laughed, put his hands on his head, and then squeezed his fists like he wanted to punch me before he started picking up his clothes. He looked at me and shook his head as if he was disappointed in me. I just looked at Breeze and then put my head down.

  “Can I get that 500 dollars so I can get the hell out of here?” Tyree asked.

  “Tyree, I know you’re upset, but you could make a lot of money. I’m talking thousands and thousands of dollars just by doing something that feels good. I don’t normally do this, but I have a feeling about you so I’m willing to give you an additional two thousand right now, but it will have to be one hell of a scene. That’s the best I can do. I’m a busy man and I don’t have a lot of time to waste. I have tons of e-mails to go through with men dying to be in your position so I really think you should consider my offer. You won’t get this chance again, and I guarantee you won’t make this type of money anywhere else.”

  “I understand and I’m not trying to waste your time. I mean I really need this money, but I love women. I can’t see myself kissing another man, or letting some dude fuck me. Not only that, but what if someone I know finds out, I wouldn’t even be able to deny it because it’s on film.”

  Breeze interrupted him.

  “How about I make you a few drinks and let you think about it for a little while longer before you make up your mind.”

  “I can’t believe I’m about to pass up all that money so yeah I could use a drink, but I’ll fix it myself.”

  “Okay, no problem. I’ll be right back,” Breeze said as he started to walk away then stopped. “And by the way, Tyree, you don’t have to kiss anyone, or get fucked today.”

  Breeze walked off the set so I followed him because I had a suggestion. It looked like he was heading to his office when I stopped him.

  “Breeze, hold up I need to talk to you.”

  Breeze jumped like he was just caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing, and then turned around and looked surprised to see me following him.

  “What is it Jamar?” He sounded frustrated since I obviously just interrupted his thoughts.

  “I don’t think he’s biting so I have a suggestion.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “Offer him some more money. Tell him you’ll give him a signing bonus or something.”

  “Jamar, I’m going to tell you something, and if you repeat it I will deny it and you’ll be on my shit list. My father and I only give signing bonuses to woman who should really be super models, or A-list actresses. If we think she’s not trying to be on board we’ll offer her a lot of money upfront. The reason being is we know she will make us millions. Now men on the other hand, sure they will definitely make us money, but men are horny bastards and love to fuck. Why should we just give away money when so many men want to be in this business? We only give referral bonuses to men if they refer someone who signs a contract with us. With that said I’m not offering him anymore money. His pictures are great, he looks good on film, and if he can perform I’d love to hire him but I’m not going to be here all day trying to persuade him.”

  “What if I pay him some more money to do it?”

  “Wow, Jamar, I’m speechless. I’ve been in this business a long time and I’ve never had any of my actors or actresses offer to pay anyone to be in a film. This is definitely a first. How much are you willing to pay for some sex from Tyree, you trick?” he asked and then laughed. I knew he was joking, but I didn’t even think about it like that. In my mind, I was just trying to get Tyree in the business. I didn’t realize that in a way I was trying to pay for sex. I was going to offer more but I started to feel lame.

  “I’ll give him three thousand dollars out of my own money, but I don’t want him to know it’s coming from me.”

  “I like you Jamar, and I’m really enjoying doing business with you. I’m not going to offer it to him right away, but as a last resort effort I will. Now go back out there and check on him. I’m going to get some stuff out of my office.”

  I went back in the warehouse and noticed Rob and Derek talking off to the side, and I saw Tyree pacing around the stage shaking his head as if he was debating rather he should do it or not. I’m not a punk but I felt so bad that I wished we weren’t alone at that moment. I also felt uncomfortable seeing that I was still in just a towel, hey at least I wasn’t hard anymore.

  “Are you okay?” I asked

  “What do you think?”

  “I can’t say I know what’s going through your mind right now, because I don’t. I came here with the intentions of becoming a porn star. I will say this though, I love it, and because of porn, I’m living the life. I’m traveling to places I never thought I would, my Range Rover is paid for, my condo is paid for, I got money in the bank, I can buy anything I want, and I can do anything I want without having to worry about money. I know you’re going through a lot right now, and down on your luck but all of that can change. You can have all of this and more, but you’re gonna have to be a gay for pay actor.”

  “I just don’t know if I can do it.”

  At that point, Breeze walked back in with two glasses filled with ice, a half filled bottle of Grey Goose vodka, and two Red Bulls. He said the Red Bulls gave it flavor, which it did. He also suggested that I have a drink as well. I let Tyree mix his first and then I followed. We both sat there enjoying our drinks quietly while Breeze looked over the photos again to see which ones he would use to promote Tyree. I’m not a lush so I was feeling tipsy by the time I finished my drink. Tyree dec
ided to have another even though he looked like he was feeling good as well. I kept staring at Tyree and became hard, and there was no hiding it. My dick was starting to come out of the towel, so I had to keep adjusting myself. Breeze came back over and told Tyree that he had some business to attend to a little later and needed to wrap things up. He pulled out five thousand dollars and placed in on the table in front of Tyree. He informed him that if he didn’t want a contract he didn’t have to sign one, but if he wanted the money he had to do at least one sex scene that may or may not ever get used, or seen by anyone. After a brief moment Tyree asked, “So you’re saying there’s a chance no one will see this, and I don’t have to kiss him, or get fucked?

  “That’s correct! So what’s it going to be?” Breeze replied.

  “FUCK!!!!” Tyree yelled out at loud as he could which caused his voice to echo throughout the warehouse. He put his head down, and then he looked back up at Breeze.

  “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to go through with it, but if I don’t do it I’ll have to use the money I have left to fly back home tomorrow, or I’m going to be out on the streets. I don’t have anyone here to depend on. To be honest I really don’t have anything back in Detroit either except drama, and a father who is a police officer that’s ashamed of me because of my past, so I need that money.” He put his head back down again and said, “Fuck it, tell me what to do.”

  Chapter 5

  “I didn’t ask you to be my personal shopper.”

  “I don’t want to dye my hair Breeze. I have had it this way since high school and it works for me.”

  This was my first time seeing Breeze since our sexcapade back at his house and I wasn’t too happy. We had talked the whole week and he tried desperately to make me understand why I had to change the way I looked.

  “You could stay the same if we were going to market you as the girl next door but that’s not who you really are. You are a sex kitten who has just found her wild side.”

  “So are you saying that I’m not sexy or interesting this way? It turned you on, didn’t it?”

  I was offended. It’s never easy hearing that you are not good enough the way you are.

  “If it was up to me, I would leave you like you are now, but we are selling sex and the bedroom fantasies of our fans. You are not a housewife who just has to worry about turning her husband on; you are turning on and fucking the whole world. You have to fulfill their sexual appetites.”

  We went back and forth on the issue all week and it still wasn’t resolved. I wasn’t going to change my mind about it, even though I did give in a little.

  “You’re at the best salon in LA. Just sit back and let them work their magic. I guarantee you that you will love the end results.”

  I gritted my teeth hoping that “go fuck yourself” didn’t come flying out. I was pissed that I was deemed by him as unsellable the way I was, but there wasn’t much I could do. I had signed my life away and now I just had to grin and endure it.

  Seven hours, a bleach and dye job later, my dark brown hair was parted down the middle and platinum blonde. I could see it hanging down on my shoulders as the gay white hair stylist cut it in layers. I dreaded the moment he would turn me around. I didn’t want to see the porn monster that I had become. And as the make-up artist went to work on my face, I flashed back to my mother. I remember her sitting in the styling chair at the studio where her show used to be filmed. I thought that she was the biggest star on earth. People jumped to attention whenever she was around and treated her as if she were a queen on the throne. When they were done, I would walk over to her and ask if she was still my mommy because she looked so different.

  “Oh, honey, what’s on the outside doesn’t change your heart or who you are. I will be your mother no matter how different I look on the outside. My heart will always belong to you, now breeze mommy’s face with two sweet kisses.”

  She would say as I air kissed each side of her face. Once she was done, she would give herself one last look, and then blow a kiss to herself in the mirror. When she walked on the set, she represented a sex filled goddess. When her scene was done, it was as if all of the men’s eyes were on her. She had a way of walking that my father used to say stopped traffic. I embedded that walk and her style in my mind, and the more I thought about it, I realized that, that was the persona that I was going to try to take on. Although I didn’t think that her words were true, I knew that the lust that men had for her was undeniably true. I may have ignored it in my regular life, but I knew that it would help me in the adult movie world.

  “Wait, don’t turn her around yet. I want her to put these on first.”

  Breeze handed me a bag that was filled with what looked like stripper clothes and shoes. I must have looked at the bag funny because he felt that he had to convince me.

  “Don’t give me shit about this too. I got them from a high end store named The Kitty’s Kat. It caters to the stylish porn stars and stripper.”

  “I didn’t say that I wasn’t going to put them on, it’s just that---.”

  “It’s just what? This is what you’re going to wear most of the time when you’re working anyway. Look, I didn’t have to do this. I have gone out of my way for you and I expect you to appreciate it.”

  For the first time since meeting him, I could see the frustration in his eyes. He was going out of his way for me and I was acting childish. In a way, he was right. We all do change for our jobs in some way shape or form. We never are who we really are at work.

  “That fire engine red with the side cut outs will look banging on you now that your hair is platinum blonde. When you come out I’ll have Charlie change your lipstick to match,” said the hair stylist.

  I didn’t put up much of a fight from then on. I just got up and went into the bathroom to change. Breeze even got me a G-string so that I didn’t have a panty line, not that there was much room for anything else. After I came out Charlie removed and applied my new lip color and I was ready for the big reveal. I closed my eyes as I awaited the okay from Breeze to look.

  “Go ahead and take a look Jazzy. You are stunning.”

  I slowly opened my eyes and damn near fell out. Who was this person that I was looking at? She looked nothing like the old me. It was as if my eyes were playing tricks on me. I looked at myself and I looked good. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of myself. It was like night and day.

  “You look great, baby, all you’re missing is this,” he said as he wrapped a three carat diamond necklace that had round stones from one end to the other.

  “Oh, my God Breeze, it’s so pretty and sparkly,” I said as the chain mesmerized me. All of the good jewelry I owned was the stuff I had gotten from my mother as a child. That’s one thing that the alcohol never took from her. She always had a good eye when it came to jewelry. To this day, she has at least three jewelry boxes filled with only the best of jewels.

  “Damn, Jazzy, if I knew you were going to be this happy with just the necklace, I wouldn’t have gotten you the rest.”

  Breeze then pulled out and opened a jewelry box that held the matching ring, earrings, and bracelet to the necklace that he had just given me.

  “Are you fucking with me or are these things really mine?” Everything just seemed too good to be true.

  “Wait, this is not coming out of my future pay is it?” I had heard stories before. There were plenty of people in the music biz that were handed what they thought were gifts only to find out that they would end up having to pay for these items.

  “I wasn’t going to say anything but since you asked, yeah, they will come out of future earnings.”

  “Take it back. I didn’t ask you to be my personal shopper,” I said, hurt and pissed. Here I was thinking that he had brought me a gift because he liked me. Boy, did I feel dumb, and the expression on everyone’s face had let me know that I wasn’t too far from it.

  “Calm down, girl, it was just a joke. Nothing will be taken
out of your future royalties. I just wanted to give you a little gift.”

  The sad part about that day is that he really was going to make me pay for it if I didn’t throw such a fit. I let him put everything back on me and continued to look at myself.

  “Are you happy that I made you do this?”

  “It’s so different; I’m going to have to get used to it, but, yes, I like it.”

  “What are you doing tonight, feel like hanging out?”

  I had to think about it. If Tanya got wind of Breeze and I living it up on the town, I’m sure both of us would have hell to pay, and I have never really been a home wrecker. But those two things were my only roadblocks. When I stood there and weighed my options, the good things that would come out of getting closer to Breeze outweighed the bad.

  “So what’s on the agenda?”