PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans

by Joseph, Fabiola;L. Ramsey, Matthew

  “All right girl, it’s late or early depending on how you look at it. Either way we have to go.”

  “I don’t want to leave yet.”

  “Do you know what time it is?”

  “I don’t care what time it is, as a matter of fact it’s that time for another drink.”

  “No, it’s not. You’re going to fuck around and get alcohol poison. Let’s go, I’m serious.”

  “Okay, fine but one more song. Come on dance with me, Debbie Downer.”

  “Fine, one more song, but that’s it. I’ll be over there waiting.”

  “Whatever, suit yourself.”

  I waited by the exit door while she was dancing with some random female who seemed to be one of her fans. Once that song was over and the next one started playing she didn’t miss a beat so I knew I had to step up and be the bad guy.

  “Okay, Jazzy, that’s it, let’s go.”

  I grabbed her arm and headed back to the exit door so we could finally leave. She pleaded for one more hour, one more song, but none of that was happening.

  “I’m not leaving you alone in this condition, now let’s go.”

  I was pissed. How could she be so inconsiderate? I knew she was drunk but damn there’s always another night. I grabbed her harder and started walking faster. I wasn’t in a good mood, or sober either so I was about to drag her all the way back to her suite if it came to that. She was cussing and yelling for me to let her go, so even though it was embarrassing me I didn’t care and wasn’t having it. We finally made it back to Jasmine’s penthouse in one piece and no throw-up, so I was happy but exhausted. I felt like I had been babysitting and taking care of a child ever since I picked her up in L.A.

  After I helped bath her, I ordered us some breakfast, and then finally put her to bed. I took a quick shower before I planned on crawling into bed with her and sleeping like a baby, but suddenly I wasn’t tired anymore. I don’t know if it was because Jasmine’s cell phone kept going off which irritated the fuck out of me, or if it was because I finally stopped and thought about my own issues. I checked her cell phone to see who kept calling and as soon as I saw Breeze’s name popping up I waited until it stopped ringing and turned her phone off. I sat down on the couch and tried to watch some television but my mind kept wandering.

  I kept trying to figure out how I could fix our problems so we could both be happy again. I eventually passed out and woke up at eight o’clock that night. The first thing I did was check on Jasmine and she was peacefully sleeping. While I was taking another shower I remembered the craziest dream I had about Lanell, Jasmine, Blaze, Tyree, and myself. I was lost in this dark cave, and the louder I yelled the deeper I fell into the darkness. I was running around the cave with just the little bit of light from my cell phone. Each time the light would go out I would panic because I thought I was going to die down there.

  My heart was beating so fast that I could hear it, so I thought it was over and I just wanted to lie down and give up but something whispered, “Don’t stop you’re almost there,” which scared the shit out of and lit a fire under my ass. I turned a corner and found Lanell on the ground asleep and wounded. I was so relieved to see another face that I jumped down beside him and hugged him so hard before yelling at him, “GET UP, LANELL. WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE. JASMINE IS IN PAIN, AND WE NEED TO BE THERE FOR HER WHEN SHE WAKES UP SO YOU CAN SAVE HER.”

  As I used all my strength to hold his heavy body up and walk through the cave, Jasmine ran into us. At first we all screamed. I dropped Lanell and took off running, but when I heard Jasmine laughing at me and telling me to come back, I turned around and damn near cried. I thought, great, now everyone who knows I’m here and lost is lost with me, but Jasmine hugged me and said, “It’s okay, Jamar, don’t cry. I found a way out of here and I was just coming back to get you. I can’t believe you found Lanell; I didn’t even know he was here. Thank you so much, love. Now come on, man up, we still have to find Blaze and Tyree before we can leave this hell hole.”

  Lanell didn’t seem hurt anymore and suddenly perked up as if he was ready to run a marathon. We found Blaze first who was chilling as if he didn’t have a care in the world and knew we’d find him. He spoke up as soon as he made eye contact with me. “What took you so long sexy? I’ve been waiting here for you for like forever.” I didn’t have an answer for him. I just kept asking about Tyree. “Oh, it’s not looking too good for your boy. The darkness has seen what Tyree’s been doing to everyone who cares about him. I don’t think he’s escaping this one. Come on I’ll show you where he’s at.” Blaze led the way until we reached a dead end, and there was Tyree looking lonely and pitiful.

  The cave had actually started to mold onto Tyree’s body as if they were becoming one entity. He looked up and started to cry and beg for me to take him back, “I promise I’ll never do it again. Please get me out of here. I love you and you’re the only one I want to be with now. If you take me back it’ll let me go. Please baby, I love you.” It was sad to see even in my dreams the love of my life was lying to my face. He was only looking out for himself in my dreams just like he had been doing the entire time we dated. I started to cry and just as I was about to pull him off the wall Jasmine stopped me and whispered in my ear, “Let him go Jamar. He’s no good for you, and he’s right where he belongs. The darkness knows this, that’s why it only wants him. It got what it wants so you’re free now, we’re all free.”

  I let go of Tyree’s arms and hugged my friend, she had my back and was there for me when I needed her the most. We joined Blaze and Lanell and started to walk away. Tyree was furious “THAT BITCH IS LYING. GET YOU’RE PUNK ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE. YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT ME.” Blaze looked at me and smiled before asking, “Do you want me to do it, or would you like to do the honors?” I grabbed the gun out of his hand and replied, “I’ll do it.” I turned around, took one last look at his sorry ass, and said, “Goodbye Tyree.” I pulled the trigger and just like that, the wall absorbed him and I woke up.

  Normally I don’t act out my dreams or give them that much thought but suddenly it was clear and I knew what I had to do. I jumped out of the shower, dried off, got dressed, and ran to get Jasmine’s cell phone. I turned it on, went to her address book, pushed “L”, and Lanell’s name popped right up. I called him at least ten times back to back but he wouldn’t pickup. I finally tried calling him from my own cell phone and he picked up on the first try. He was worried something bad happened to Jasmine, so after I calmed his nerves, I broke down everything she had been through.

  I was able to convince him to come to Vegas and talk everything over since they both had some time a part from each other. I just hoped Jasmine wouldn’t be pissed and mad at me for doing this without asking her first. I felt like it was a win-win situation, either they would work it out and she’d thank me later or they would realize it wasn’t meant to be and she’d know at least I tried. After that part of my plan was in effect I ate dinner, and then got ready to go see Blaze. We bumped into him at the club the night before and he mentioned that I should come see him before he leaves Las Vegas. I decided I would take him up on his offer.

  Walking up to Blaze’s room I knew exactly what my intentions were. I was going to do whatever it took to get his gun. I knew he didn’t go anywhere without it so he’d definitely be holding. I was a little nervous because I didn’t know how to come out and ask for it though. He knew I was coming because I had sent him a text an hour before, so I wasn’t surprised that he answered the door in just his drawers that had “BOOTY” written on the back of them. His body from head to toe looked perfect and shiny from the baby oil he obviously just rubbed all over himself.

  “Come on in sexy.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Nothing much, I’m just relaxing.”

  “I see.”

  I noticed a blunt burning in the ashtray next to a big pile of marijuana. It was obvious that he was bagging up individual baggies fu
ll of my favorite hobby.

  “You know how I do.”

  “So what are you doing in Vegas? I was surprised, but excited to see you at the club last night.”

  “I’m a business man so you know I’m all about my money. I had a photo shoot with Hung magazine, I hosted a party last night at Rage, which was off the hook, you would’ve loved it, and on top of all that I’m selling product left and right here.”

  “Damn, every day you’re hustling.”

  I tried singing the hook to that song but I fucked it up, so we both started laughing. I had to get him in a good mood before I could make my move. I picked up the blunt and hit it a couple of times without asking before giving him a shotgun. While he was feeling it and getting higher I walked behind him and started massaging his shoulders.

  “Damn Jamar that feels so good.”

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  “Hell yeah, please don’t stop.”

  I started rubbing all down his back and arms mimicking what my massage therapist does to me.

  “I have a big favor to ask you Blaze.”

  “Whatever you want I got you.”

  “I need that fire.”

  “How much do you need? Do you want a half or an ounce?”

  “My bad I should’ve said I need something that fires.”

  “SAY WHAT?” he asked as he turned around to face me to see if he heard me correctly.

  “You heard me. It would mean a lot to me if you helped me out. I’ll give it back to you once we’re both back in L.A.”

  “Do you need it for protection? If so, just let me know and I’ll have my boys handle that.”

  “No, I don’t need it for protection. Who would want to hurt me?”

  “What do you need it for then?”

  “I might want to scare somebody a little bit.”

  “I got you. Well what do I get?”

  I walked around the chair and slowly positioned myself on his lap. Once I was comfortable I grabbed his head pulling him forward so I could passionately kiss him. After a couple of minutes of our tongues playing together I felt his hard erection so I stopped and finally replied.

  “Whatever you want.”

  “Damn, you got me hard as shit.”

  “I know, I feel it. So, what’s up? Are you going to let me borrow your gun, or not?”

  “As long as you don’t hurt anybody with it, and bring it back to me I don’t see why not.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Okay, done deal. So what’s up? Are we going to fuck or not? Karma will be back soon so I don’t have a lot of time.”

  I stood up to take my clothes off.

  “Are you serious? Karma’s here too.”

  “Yeah, he damn near begged me to come, and I couldn’t say no to that face.”

  I just shook my head as I put him on his knees.

  *****

  As I was leaving Blaze’s room with what I came for I was waiting for the elevator. When it was arrived I was surprised to see Karma but not as shocked as he was to see me.

  “Krave, what are you doing here?”

  “IT’S JAMAR, damn how many times do I have to tell you that shit?” I asked as I walked passed him to get on the elevator.”

  “Look, Jamar, I don’t know how things ended up this way, but I really do like you. What do I have to do for us to start over? Do you think it’s possible for us to eventually be friends again?”

  “HELL NO!”

  I started to push the close door button but he stood in the middle of the elevator door.

  “I guess I won’t ever get the chance to tell you what I know about your girl’s condo burning down then.”

  I knew what he was trying to do and it worked because he definitely had my attention now. He started walking away and when I called out his name he kept walking.

  “Shit,” I mumbled to myself.

  I ran out the elevator to catch him before he entered Blaze’s suite. I grabbed his little ass and pushed him up against the wall.

  “What do you know about that fire?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  “Look, little boy, don’t play with me. If you tell me, we can hang out sometime,” I lied. I figured I’d play his game, knew he’d fall for it, and lose.

  “You’re lying.”

  “I’m not. Now tell your boy what you know,” I thought I’d try Breeze’s line on him.

  “Can I trust you not to tell anyone I told you?”

  All I could think was got him.

  “Of course.”

  I actually told the truth that time. I figured if he told me I would owe him that little bit of respect.

  “Well, I was going up to Breeze’s office to tell him my check was short when I heard him talking to someone. I don’t know who he was talking to but I heard him say, “I’m going out of town so keep your cell on. If I call you from Jamaica, that’s your okay to burn it down.”

  I couldn’t believe what Karma was telling me, I was shocked. Breeze was crazy, but he wasn’t crazy enough to risk lives by having someone burn down Jasmine’s condo was he? I was pissed and confused, and took out my frustration on Karma.

  “Man, why the fuck are you always trying to start something? That sounds like some made up shit right there. Breeze wouldn’t do that to Jazzy, he’s too obsessed with her. Don’t ever repeat that again.”

  I started heading back to the elevator.

  “Jamar, wait I’m not making it up. I SWEAR.”

  He grabbed me by my shoulder. I turned around and looked at him like he was crazy, then down at his hand, and then looked back up at him. He got the hint and quickly moved his hand.

  “Think about it Jamar, Breeze and Jasmine went to Jamaica and the day they returned, her place almost burned down. She couldn’t live there anymore, and had to move in with Breeze. There’s no way that’s a coincidence. I tried telling you before but you wouldn’t speak to me.”

  He sounded worried and sincere but I was still hoping he was just trying to start some drama.

  “Bye, drama, I mean Karma.”

  “Hold up, let me give you my new cell phone number so we can chill sometime.”

  I laughed him out before I was about to get back on the elevator.

  “Why are you laughing? I’m serious.”

  “I know that’s the sad part, but… I lied.”

  His eyes were filled with hate. I wondered if he was more embarrassed and mad for being naïve, or because I actually lied to him.

  “That’s fucked up.”

  He pushed me but it only made me step back a few steps. He tried to push me again but I grabbed his hands.

  “Whoa, young buck, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

  “You’re cold Jamar, you know that?”

  “You’re crazy Karma, you know that?”

  I pushed him back before finally entering the elevator.

  “So why were you in my man’s suite?” he asked.

  I smirked and replied. “I was just trying to stay ahead of the game.”

  Then, I zipped up my jeans.

  “KARMA’S A BITCH JAMAR.”

  That was the last thing I heard as the elevator was taking me to the first floor.

  I got back to Jazzy’s room just in time to let Lanell inside.

  “Thanks for coming. I’m sure she’s going to be surprised, but happy to see you.”

  “No problem. Where is she?”

  “She’s in the bedroom, asleep. Do you want me to wake her up?”

  “No, let her sleep. I’m kind of tired after that flight myself, so I’ll go in there and join her in a minute.”

  “NICE!”

  I paused.

  “I mean that’s cool.”

  I got a little too excited thinking my plan had already worked. He laughed before he spoke again.

  “Thanks for calling me, Jamar, I appreciate that. I’m going to unpack my bag and get some rest in case she wakes up soon. I don’t wanna fall
asleep on her while we’re talking.”

  “Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

  I watched as he approached the door to Jasmine’s bedroom.

  “Hold up, Lanell.”

  I waited for him to turn around before I finished.

  “She really has missed you and I know she loves you. You’re all she ever talks about.”

  Okay, so that last line might’ve been a stretch from the truth but it was for a good cause.

  The next morning I was the only one up and needed some new clothes, and wanted to get out of the room. As I exited the bathroom Jasmine screamed so loud that she made me jump.

  “Damn, Jazzy, you could wake the dead up with that scream,” I said as I covered my ears.

  I could tell she wasn’t expecting me to be up because she looked confused and I knew why. I told her all about how, why, and when Lanell arrived. I was relieved that she wasn’t pissed that I invited him, because that could’ve went either way depending on her mood. I convinced her not to worry because I could see in his eyes, and hear in his voice when he talked about her that he was still in love with her. Instead of going out shopping, I decided to say in and have dinner with Jasmine so she wouldn’t be alone with her thoughts while Lanell slept.

  Before we ate I gave her a heads up that Breeze saw her stuff in my garage and knew she was planning on moving, so she would be prepared in case he tried something crazy. She didn’t seem that worried about it because she laughed it off. After dinner Jazzy decided to face Lanell while I finally went out to get something else to wear since we were staying longer than I thought we were. Jasmine and I both were scheduled to work that day, but neither one of us called to say we weren’t coming. I think as much as we loved our jobs, we were both getting tired of it.

  I figured Tyree’s money hungry ass would fill in for me, especially since he lost all of that money thanks to me. He assumed the bank would replace it since it was fraud but since I never really called the bank he’d be waiting a long time for it. By the time I shopped, gambled a little bit, posed for some pictures, and talked to some fans I was exhausted and my feet hurt. Since they were still in the room I slept on the couch again. The following morning Jasmine woke me up early because we had a busy day. Lanell wanted to show us the house he planned on buying before they had their fight, and was still considering buying it since they made up and decided to give their relationship another chance. I thought it was a bit fast since they had been back together for only a few hours, but who was I to judge; besides living anywhere away from Breeze was a great place for Jasmine.