PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans

by Joseph, Fabiola;L. Ramsey, Matthew

  “Did you miss me? Were you worried about me?”

  “Of course you’re all I’ve been thinking about all day.”

  I wanted to scream out “LIAR”, but I kept it cool.

  “Aww, that’s sweet, but umm, I’ve having breakfast with Jazzy and Lanell, so I’ll call you later.”

  “Okay, but unlike you, I was actually calling to tell you I’m driving up to Santa Barbara tonight after work. I’ll be there for a few days, maybe even a week depending on my schedule.”

  “Okay, well, have fun. See ya when I see ya.”

  I hung up before he had a chance to say anything else. I finally knew how I wanted to handle everything. I was going to scare the shit out of his baby mama, and tell her Tyree’s lies. Since he broke my heart, I wanted to destroy his. I asked Jasmine to come into the bedroom.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She had a look of concern on her face.

  “Nothing really, Tyree just called.”

  I couldn’t tell her what I was thinking just yet, but I couldn’t hide my excitement either. My smile gave that away. I asked Jasmine if she’d drive home with me, and once she agreed I was ready. Jasmine called down to the front desk and asked if they could have a rental car waiting for her at noon. It didn’t take me long to pack up my stuff, so while she packed up her belongings I ran out to buy some of the movies that Tyree and I starred in together.

  Chapter 37

  “Here’s to revenge, and people getting exactly what they deserve.”

  “Oh, my God, what am I going to do? My life is over, I’m gonna spend the rest of it in jail, FUCK!”

  Jamar had been trying to calm me down for the last minutes without success. My whole life had flashed before and the rest of it didn’t look so promising. I looked at my hands as if I could see June’s blood on them and started to scream and cry all over again.

  “Calm down Jazzy. You freaking out isn’t helping things; we have to get our story straight.”

  Story straight? What in the hell did I get myself into? I never thought that I would be on the other side of those words. I felt like I was about to be on an episode of the First 48. I could picture myself in one of those little rooms. The rooms I liked to call the sweat box and the detective standing over me, questioning me over and over again. I could just hear him or her now.

  “So, you’re telling me that you didn’t know that he was going there to kill her?” And I would answer, “That’s right, I had no idea.” Not believing me, the questioning would go on. “Did you know he had a gun before you went into June’s apartment?” that’s when my legs would start to shake. “Yes, I knew, but he was just using it to scare her, he was just using it as leverage.” This is when the cop would laugh at my childish answer. “So you mean to tell me that he needed a gun with a pregnant woman as leverage? Now we both know that that is bullshit. Now tell us what happened or you’ll take the fall for this. We already have you prints on the gun; we just want to know why you were there. We want a play by play. Tell. Jamar already told us that you were the shooter. We know that you are the killer in the situation. But tell us, why, how, and tell us about Jamar.”

  Now there may have been a chance that Jamar never said anything. There may be a chance that they are just saying this, hoping that it will get me to start talking, but how would I know this? How would I know that Jamar wasn’t singing like a bird, just to save his ass? I looked over at him and wondered how deep our friendship went. I hadn’t known him that long, it had been less than a year, and I didn’t know how he would react once he was in that sweat box.

  “Look Jamar, I know that things have gone too far to turn back now, but we can never tell anyone what we did today. I don’t care if they have you in a small room and they are telling you that I told them everything, from start to finish, you have to trust in me and know that they are lying. Deny, deny, deny Jamar, don’t say shit.”

  My tone had changed. The once panicked shriek that lurked in my voice was almost a distant memory. The more I thought about things, the more I realized that we were living on a limited amount of freedom, that is, if we didn’t get things straighten things out.

  “Who in the hell is “They”, and why would they have me in a little room? You don’t think that the cops are going to know that we did this, do you? Damn Jazzy, why did you have to shoot her, why did you have to kill her?”

  I couldn’t believe my ears. Was he really asking me why?”

  “’Cause she was about to stab your ass, that’s why. Should I have just let the knife swing down into your back, should I have let you die?”

  I could tell that he was really thinking about my words.

  “I was the one who told you know to go in there, let alone to go in there with that fucking gun. You are the one who dragged me into your bullshit. You ---.”

  “Don’t blame me. I gave you a choice. You could have stayed in the car,” he said, interrupting me.

  “Oh, hell no, you should be thanking God that I made such a bad choice. If it weren’t for me, you may be dead right now. How fucking dare you act as if this is my fault? I thought that we were going home. I didn’t drive us to Santa Barbara to face off with some bitch my man’s fucking. No, that’s you. You’re the one who gives a shit about Tyree’ cheating ass. You’re the one who cared enough for him that you risked not only your freedom, but mine by going into that girl’s house. You wanted revenge, but in the end, if we get locked up, who really won here? Tyree will be free to do as he pleases. Free to fuck and cheat on whomever he wants. So tell me, what the fuck have you accomplished by pulling your little stunt today besides fucking both of our lives up?”

  I knew that my words must have hurt him but I needed things to be crystal clear. We both needed to be on the same page, after I set him straight. There was no way that I was going to take the blame for this alone. I would have never been in that situation if it weren’t for him, and he needed to know that and appreciate what I did for him, I saved his life.

  “You’re so right, Jasmine, I’m so sorry. You freaked me out when you started talking about the cops. I owe you my life right now, I’m so sorry.”

  He took my hand and held it tight. I wasn’t mad anymore, I could understand. Shit, I was just as scared as he was, but now, we needed to think.

  “Okay, Jamar, this is how it’s gonna go, you’re gonna have to die with this shit. I don’t give a damn if god himself comes to you and asks you what happened the day we went to June’s house. The only thing you should ever answer is “Who is June?” Now as far as the cops, I don’t give a damn if they play a tape and they tell you that it’s me confessing. I don’t give a shit if they bring me in there and have me tell you that I have confessed, don’t believe that shit. Don’t believe your ears, your eyes, or anything they may try and pull, 'cause I will never tell, not even on my deathbed. Do you understand me?”

  We spent the rest of our ride home getting our stories straight. We were together that whole day. We drove straight home after leaving Vegas, then chilled at Breeze’s house since he was out of town. That was the story I was going to tell and that was the story I was praying he would stick to.

  *****

  We were five minutes away from Breeze’s house when Jamar said that the car was running on empty. He pulled into the Texaco Gas station and asked if I could pump the gas. I took the money from him and stepped out of the car, heading inside to pay. Once there, I made two coffees, knowing that we would need them and made my way to the line. I stood there, lost in my thoughts, never seeing Tanya walk in. It wasn’t until I heard her voice in my ear that I knew that she had been standing behind me.

  “I knew that I would see your bitch-ass around town. Now we can finish what you started.”

  She said this as if she was really going do something to hurt me. Once I heard her words, it’s as if something in me clicked. Something in me was set free, forcing me to unleash the violent rage that brewed inside of me. As she talked shit, I let the heat from the coff
ee fuel my fury. I felt the heat and knew that it was hot enough to hurt, but not hot enough to scar her. I sat one of the coffees down on the counter and took the lid off of the other without arousing suspicion from her or anyone else. As soon as the lid was off, I turned around and splashed the hot coffee in her face. As her mouth hung open and her hands flew to her face, I attacked. I punched, scratched and tried to pull out every piece of hair on her head. She had caught me on the wrong day. She was paying for the check her ass could never cash, and I was doing my best to make sure that I got paid every single red cent I had coming to me.

  “Jazzy, stop, come on, let’s get out of here!” I heard Jamar say as he pulled me away from Tanya. I pulled away from him and made my way to the shocked cashier.

  “Sixty on 3, and two coffees,” I said as if I didn’t just have my foot in Tanya’s ass. He took the money and gave Jamar the receipt after ringing us up. I went and refilled our cups as Jamar went to pump the gas. As I left the gas station, I looked back at Tanya and she just stood there, holding her lip, giving me the finger. I laughed all the way to the car. That bitch would be the same ‘til the day she died. But I had to give it to her, she sure did know how to take an ass whipping and keep on ticking.

  *****

  “How long will Breeze be in New York?” Jamar asked as he brought our bag in from the car. I looked around to make sure that he had really left. Knowing Breeze, he may have stayed just because he hadn’t spoken to me. Once I saw the note on the bar, I know that there was a big chance that he was gone, and I was thankful for that.

  Dear Jazz, I’m really getting tired of your bullshit. How many fucking times do I have to tell you that you just can’t get up and disappear? This is not about me controlling you; this is about you not having the consideration to at least let me know that you are safe. If I didn’t have to go to New York, I would have flown down to Vegas and checked your ass myself, of course I knew that you were going there, I have my ways. Now let this be the last goddamn time that we have to have this conversation. I love you and have been missing you. See you when I get back. Call me as soon as you come home please.

  I started to laugh as soon as I was done reading the note. I handed it to Jamar and shook my head.

  “I love how he tells me that he loves and misses me after being a total cunt.”

  “Are you gonna call him?” Jamar asked as he joined in on the laughter.

  “Yeah, I’m about call him now, just in case I need him to bail our asses out of jail.” I said only half way joking. I could tell that Jamar didn’t find my little joke funny so I turned on my phone and dialed Breeze. The conversation was short and not so sweet.

  “I just got here, what’s up?” I asked.

  “Let this be the last fucking time I have to go looking for you.”

  “All right, it won’t happen again,” I answered. It wasn’t like I was lying. Soon, I would be gone and he would have some new bitch to run around looking for. I would be old news to him soon enough.

  “Get some rest; I’ll see you in two days. Put that pussy on ice until I get there. I’m really fucking horny and I’m gonna be needing some of that good pussy when I get home.” And with that he hung up. I looked at the phone and asked myself who the hell I was just talking to. I knew that it was Breeze, but he wasn’t being himself. He never spoke to me like that, guess he was trying to sound harder then he really was, must have had people around.

  “Well, we have two whole days to ourselves. Will you be going home or will you be keeping me company?”

  I really didn’t want to be alone. I was still freaking out on the inside and wanted someone with me.

  “I’ll be here for now. Gotta figure shit out, gotta get my nerves together enough to face him. I know he’s gonna find out today so he’ll he in a fucked up mood. I gotta prepare myself for whatever happens.”

  Just as Jamar said this, his cell phone started to ring. And as he mouthed to me that it was Tyree, I sat back and waited for him to tell me what was said.

  *****

  NOW

  “I was asleep when you rung the doorbell. I cursed you for waking me up even when I didn’t know that it was you. I was deep in a much needed rest and BOOM, you had to show up. As soon as I saw you, panic hit me like a ton of brick. I got a splitting headache as soon as I opened the door. Why the in God’s name were you standing on my door step? I asked myself. Jamar told me that you were going to Santa Barbara to see…to see your…to see her.” I watch as Tyree shifts in his seat. I’ve lost track of time. My hands are numb from the rope Tyree has tied tightly around them and I need to go and pee so fucking badly. All I have been able to do is talk about the year that has just past, and think about what has gotten me here.

  When he walked in and asked me for Jamar, I tried to speak loud enough to wake him before Tyree and I made it to the living room, but that didn’t work.

  “So what have you two been doing all day?” Tyree asked with a friendly smile. He had even complimented me and told me how cute I was even though I had just woken up.

  “Just laying low; it’s kind of a long ride from Vegas and we were tired.” I answered as I headed to the bar.

  “Can I get you a drink?” I watched him as I waited for his answer. I was looking for anything out of place, but so far, he was cool.

  “Sure, make it a double; a nigga is kind of parched.”

  Okay, now he was starting to joke around, I told myself. Maybe he hadn’t gone to see June like he had planned.

  “Wake up baby, I missed you.” I watched as he leaned over Jamar and gave him a sweet little kiss on his forehead as he woke him up. My mind and heart were at odds. My mind kept telling me that Tyree was a sneaky little fucker that shouldn’t be trusted. My heart kept telling me to look at how sweet he was being with Jamar. I watched as he gave him a long wet kiss once Jamar was up. I prayed that he couldn’t read the shock that was written all over Jamar’s face.

  “What…what are you doing here?” Jamar asked as he caught his breath.

  “I wanted to surprise you. Why, aren’t you happy to see me?”

  Something about the way he asked that question didn’t sit right with me. I started to look around the bar for something, anything to protect myself with if it came to that, but nothing was good enough to take him down with, if need be.

  “How about that drink, Jazzy?”

  I jumped at the sound of my name. I was so busy looking for a weapon that I had forgotten about his drink. As I looked under the sink of the bar for a fresh bottle of Vodka, I saw it. And right then and there, I knew that I was going to use that little bottle Breeze used on people to control them. I might have been disgusted with Breeze at first, but there are times like these, where something so bad can come in very handy.

  “Vodka okay?”

  “Fine,” he answered from the living room.

  I had to think and act quickly. I poured the drinks, added a little cranberry juice and last but not least, added my poison of choice.

  “So what are you all talking about?” I asked as I walked over to Jamar. As I handed him his drink, I gave Tyree my back. I looked Jamar dead in the eyes then moved my own down to the drink. I could tell by Jamar’s face that he knew what I was trying to tell him.

  “Just shooting the shit, wondering why he’s not so happy to see me.”

  “Boy, please, you’re trippin', you know I’m always happy to see you,” Jamar said, as he nervously sipped his drink.

  “Are you now? Cause you’ve been really distant lately. I thought that it may have something to do with June.”

  If I wasn’t such a good actress, I would have started hyperventilating right then and there. Jamar and I stood up, but before we could move, Tyree stood up, punched Jamar dead in the face, and pulled out a gun.

  “SIT THE FUCK BACK DOWN!” Tyree yelled as I tried to go over to Jamar to help him. I did as I was told.

  “Get the fuck up, nigga; I didn’t hit you that hard.” Tyree’s voice leaked venom, the s
ame venom that was shooting from Jamar’s eyes.

  “What in the hell is wrong with you Tyree, and who the fuck is June?”

  Good, Jamar was remembering what I taught him in the car about denying everything.

  “You really don’t want to play them games with me right now. Trust me when I tell you this. It will be for your own good.”

  There was no going back from there.

  *****

  “So, you mean to tell me that you all didn’t plan to kill my child and his mother? What, it just kind of happened? MAN STOP FUCKING PLAYING GAMES WITH ME!”

  That was maybe the tenth punch I had received from Tyree. And with every one that lands on my face, I think that I am getting closer and closer to death. Plus, he still hasn’t taken a sip of his fucking drink.

  “Tyree, I’m telling you the truth, I didn’t mean to shot her, she was going to kill Jamar, I swear.”

  Tyree just sat back down and laughed. He picks up his drink for the second time and holds it close to his lips. This time, I pray he quenches his thirst.

  “So what am I supposed to do now? What do you expect me to do? Put yourself in my shoes. Everything that you love is dead and gone, and they were killed by your lovers and his sister. So, tell me. Would you let yourselves live?”

  “Everything you loved? I guess I wasn’t one of them huh, cheating asshole?”

  I don’t know how Jamar has the strength to still be talking so much shit, but I guess the pain Tyree was inflicting on us with his fist couldn’t compare to the pain he was feeling on the inside.

  “What do you mean his sister? We’re close but we’re not related.”

  Damn, I shouldn’t have said anything. Now he’s putting the glass down again and walking toward us. I know it’s fucked up, but I sure do hope that he’s going over to Jamar. Both my eyes are already swelling and I can taste the blood that is running from my nose and mouth. At least these prayers are answered. I can’t see Jamar but I can hear Tyree’s fist hitting against his face. I can hear the groans escaping Jamar’s lips, and I can hear the evil laughter spilling out of Tyree’s soul.