PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans

by Joseph, Fabiola;L. Ramsey, Matthew

  My questions were followed by a kick in the face, and then a kick to my ribs. I was stunned, and couldn’t even move from the pain. He grabbed me and forced me to get up, and get in the other chair. He wasn’t as gentle as I was when I tied Jasmine up.

  “Now which one of you should I start with?”

  I thought he was ready to kill us, so I just stayed quiet, and tried to think of a way out of there.

  NOW WHAT?

  “I’ll start with you bitch, and you better not lie to me.”

  Tyree says as he looks at me. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s serious.

  “How did you find out about June, and how did you know where she lived at?”

  I want to tell him the truth so he’ll go easy on me, but I can’t answer his questions. Answering them would only bring more pain on Jasmine. After all she was the one who found out about June, but I take her advice and answer the way she told me to.

  “Tyree, seriously who is June?”

  “Okay, that’s it. I tried to give you a chance to tell the truth.”

  He starts to use my head as a punching bag, and I can’t even block his hits. I have never felt pain like this before. I black out, but come to when I hear Jasmine scream.

  “STOP HITTING HIM. IT WAS ME. I TOLD HIM ABOUT YOU AND JUNE.”

  I’m relieved because if he would’ve kept punching me like that I’m sure he would’ve done some permanent damage. I feel useless and ashamed because I can’t protect myself, or Jasmine.

  “BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”

  I zone in and out so I only hear half of their conversation because I’m in my own head, and feeling regret. I can’t believe I was naïve and allowed this man into my life not once, but twice and he still fucked me over. My head is throbbing and feels swollen. I can’t see how my face looks but I want to cry because I can’t stop picturing Will Smith in Hitch, I can’t see out of my left eye, and I have to spit out a mouth full of blood. Jasmine finishes explaining everything, and Tyree seems even more furious.

  “I can’t believe you snitched on me? You’re living with one man, but out in Vegas fucking another, and have the nerve to tell on me for having a girl on the side.”

  He doesn’t say anything else, but I can hear him taking his anger out on her. I cringe each time I hear his fist make contact because I know the pain she’s experiencing. He makes her tell him what went down at June’s house too. Even though she explains it was an accident he isn’t buying it. He hits her again, and by the sound she makes I know he didn’t hold back. He starts venting to us like we care.

  “My girl and my son who I didn’t even to get to meet are both dead. That was my heart right there. Everything I loved was taken away from me, and I know you’re both the reason why. You can only imagine my reaction when I found June lying there slowly dying. Do you want to know what her last words were?”

  He pauses to see if either of us will answer, but I’m too shocked to find out June was still alive. I thought I felt terrible before, but now I know I’ll never forgive myself for going there. Only if I would’ve called 9-1-1, maybe they’d still be alive.

  “She said you two killed her as she held onto our movie, then I watched her take her last breathe.”

  We both stay quiet.

  “So what am I supposed to do now? What do you expect me do? Put yourself in my shoes. Everything that you love is dead, and they were killed by his lover and sister. So tell me would you let yourselves live?”

  Even though the words hurt just as bad as his fist I don’t shed a tear. I want to, but I won’t allow him to take away my pride since he already stole my heart. I would like to believe he loved me, but I don’t think he’s capable of loving someone. I don’t think he even knows what love is.

  “Everything you loved, I guess I wasn’t one of them huh, cheating asshole.”

  He talks, and punches me at the same time.

  “You’re right I didn’t love you, I’m not gay.”

  “You were pretty damn gay when I was fucking you up the ass. You loved it.”

  He doesn’t like to hear the truth because he grabs me by the throat, and damn near squeezes the life out of me.

  “Why would I love someone who tricked me into porn?”

  He lets go, and I gasp for air.

  “I didn’t put a gun to your head and make you do it,” I say after I catch my breath.

  “I was broke, confused, and needed somewhere to go. What would you do when that much cash is put in front of you?”

  “If I wasn’t gay, I know I wouldn’t have done it.”

  I know I’m only pissing him off even more, but I can’t hold my tongue. I see him ball up his fist again.

  “What do you mean his sister? We’re close but we’re not related.”

  Hearing Jazzy ask this makes me realize what Tyree said earlier. I only get to marinate on it though for a second before Tyree starts hitting me in the face again. He taunts me before moving on to Jazzy. I hear him tell Jazzy that not only do we share the same father but Breeze knew since the HIV scare. I’m shocked and taken back. All of these years I thought I was an only child. When I was a kid I wished I had a sibling. If it’s true I wonder why my father never told me. Also, I can’t believe Jasmine and I never paid attention to the fact that we share the same last name. I love her like a sister, and she’s my best friend but I always just call her Jazzy. I never even stopped to ask her about her last name, or about her parents.

  I think back to my father staring at her picture in my house. Did he recognize his daughter? Did he realize then that his children know each other? I’m also shocked he agreed to meet with the both of us. Why now? I’m curious to know what he has to say for himself. I want to ask Tyree what all Breeze said, but I don’t want to bring any more attention to myself now that he’s walked around to Jazzy. She asks me if I believe Tyree and if I’m okay, but I don’t know how to respond. I’m more focused on trying to free our hands. Tyree tied the rope so tight around my hands and wrists that I can barely move my fingers.

  “Here’s to revenge, and people getting exactly what they deserve.”

  I pray Jasmine put rat poison or something just as venomous in his drink. The way he’s abused us, I could care less if he dropped dead. The pain starts to become unbearable. I close my eyes and start to dream that I’m a child again, and I’m out shopping with my mom.

  “BITCH, DON’T MAKE ME ASK AGAIN.”

  I wake up hearing Jasmine begging Tyree to kill her. I try to convince her to hold on.

  “No, Jazzy, just hold on, don’t give up.”

  Tyree doesn’t like this and threatens me some more, so I shut up. After getting her pin number to her voicemail he plays Lanell’s message for all of us to hear. He finds it funny that he’s teasing Jazzy, and using Lanell’s voicemail as his punch line. I know it’s killing her inside to know he finalized everything in Vegas, and is waiting for her to move there. It’s sad that won’t happen, and they won’t see each other again. Tyree has gone mad, and I’m sure will kill us before the night is over. Now I start to give up but then I think about how much I want to live, and think of all the things I want to accomplish. I finally stretch my hands far enough to touch her rope with my fingertips. I try to move my hands a little further just enough to untie Jasmine’s rope, but I can’t. I tap her fingers hoping she will get the hint, and untie my rope but she just tries to hold my hand.

  After giving us both our worst beat down ever, Tyree makes Jasmine drink the Vodka that was meant for him, and then he gulps down hers. The rush from his drink, he took down like a shot, makes him ready to kick and punch us some more. I finally just slump over in my chair and pretend like I’m knocked out. Tyree goes in the kitchen to pour himself some more alcohol, because he needs the liquid courage to finish what he’s started. Jasmine hasn’t made any noises, or moved so I’m assuming he knocked her out, or the poison that was meant for Tyree killed her. I want to check on her, but that will just make things
worse for me. After a long night of abuse he finally leaves us alone, and goes to the bathroom.

  “Jazzy, wake up, try to untie my hands.”

  I hear her moving, and trying to pull the ropes, but she’s not moving fast enough.

  “Bitch, get your shit together, this nut is going to kill us if you don’t untie me.”

  The drugs Tyree forced her to drink are in full effect so she can’t really move, but thankfully I hear DeeDee. She unties us, and explains that she’s witnessed all of Tyree’s evil intentions.

  *****

  I stand up for the first time since Tyree tied me up, and I almost fall back down. My body is in so much pain, and when I turn around and look at Jasmine, and then look in the mirror I realize Tyree didn’t hold back on either one of us. I pray everything will heal, and we’ll look like ourselves again. I’m so consumed with staring at myself that I forget about Tyree coming back to kill us until DeeDee asks for something to knock him out with.

  “Fuck, he’s coming back. What are we going to do?” Jazzy asks.

  I see him come staggering down the hallway, and start to charge us, but as soon as he clears the hallway DeeDee smashes a statue over his head. He falls down to the ground, and cusses at Jasmine before he is out. Jasmine enjoys her victory for a moment before she realizes she needs to sit back down, and go to sleep herself. I, on the other hand, can’t sit still; I’m scared he’s going to get back up. I see the gun on the table so I pick it up and hand it to DeeDee.

  “Here, you take it. I’m going to tie his ass up.”

  I try to lift his heavy body but I’m too weak.

  “Man, watch out,” DeeDee says before lifting Tyree up like he was a rag dog.

  “Get the rope, and tie him up. If I let him go he’s going to fall out of the chair.”

  I do what DeeDee says, and once he’s tied up. I punch him in the face a few times before she stops me.

  “Chill, we want him to stay passed out. You need to figure out what you’re going to do with him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know you can’t let him live right?”

  “DeeDee, what the fuck have you been smoking? I’m calling the cops and letting them deal with him.”

  “Okay, and then what? He gets locked up for year or two, while you and Jazzy go to jail for two counts of murder. By the time you get out, half of your life will be over. You need to think about this, trust me I know.”

  “Well, what if we just leave him here, and leave L.A.”

  “You could do that, but he’s not going to stop until he finds you, and kills you both.”

  “And you know this how?”

  “I used to deal with a man like him years ago. He would get high and drunk and instead of making love to me he would beat up on me. He told me he was going to kill me if I ever left him. I never deserved any of his abuse, I loved him, I did everything around the house for him, and I was faithful to him.”

  “Why would he hit you then?”

  “He started using all kinds of drugs which made him nervous and paranoid that I’d leave him, or that I was cheating on him. Plus, he was much older, and miserable that his life didn’t turn out the way he wanted it to, so he took his anger and frustration out on me.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I wanted to leave him, but I didn’t have anywhere to go. I wasn’t working, and I didn’t have any money so I was stuck. That was until I met Bobby, he saw me at the beach with my best friend at the time. He kept trying to talk me into working for him. I turned him down until I woke up one morning with two black eyes.”

  She stopped talking and just stared at the ground.

  “Well, what happened?”

  “Let’s just say I called Bobby, and told him everything that, we’ll just call him Andre. I told Bobby about all the beatings, black eyes, bruises, and busted lips Andre gave me.”

  “Mr. Cappello killed him?”

  “No, I did. Bobby gave me a needle full of drugs, and told me the next time Andre hit me to wait ‘til he was sleeping, inject him with the needle, make him die from an overdose, and give him a call so that’s what I did. Bobby had some men come and take his body away. I waited two days and reported him missing. By the end of that week I was identifying his body. As I left the hospital Bobby was waiting for me, and assured me that he’d never let another man hurt me. Ever since then Bobby and I have had a mutual love for each other.”

  “Can I ask you something else without offending you?”

  “Sure, go ahead.”

  “How come you’re his mistress, and not his wife?”

  “It’s complicated, and that’s not for here nor there. Anyway you know what you have to do, right?”

  “I take it you want me to shoot him, but then what are we going to do with his body?”

  “Let me worry about that. You need to wake Jazzy up so you two can leave L.A. for a while. I’ll make sure everything is cleaned up. Oh, and don’t call me for any reason. Once I know everything is good, I’ll call you to let you know it’s safe to come home.”

  I love DeeDee but you think you know someone, but you really don’t. Now I understand why she’s ready to pop off on anyone who even looks at her funny. I take her advice since she seems to know what she’s talking about.

  “Wake up, Jazzy, we have to get out of here.”

  I tell her what I have to do, and tell her to pack some bags. She listens and heads upstairs.

  “Here, Jamar, take the gun. I’m going to lay him down on the foyer; it’ll be easier to clean up the blood over there than on this cream carpet.”

  For the first time since I got the gun from Blaze I have anxiety just from holding it. I’m sweating and shaking because of what I was told I have to do. I close my eyes and wish this is just a dream, but Jasmine quickly reminds me that it’s not.

  “All set to go?” She asks as she puts her bags down, and then heads into the kitchen. I looked at DeeDee and she’s looking at me like, well, are you going to do it or not. She tries to make me feel better by saying he’s asleep, but I just feel wrong killing a defenseless man. Especially since he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. On the other hand though he beat me so bad that I don’t even recognize myself, and he was planning on killing me. I walk over to DeeDee and stand over Tyree. She smiles at me and nods her head letting me know that I’m doing the right thing. My hands won’t stop shaking, and I can’t move.

  “Just aim the fucking gun and shoot. Now, if you don’t want to do it, give it here. I’ve been dying to shoot this dude for a while now.”

  Jazzy walks over to us, and looks at me like she’s confused. I told her I’d tell her later before DeeDee puts pressure on me to hurry up and do it. I want to kill him for what he’s done to me, to Jasmine, to my friendship with Ebony, to even lying to June, but I’m not a murderer. I’m a porn star.

  “We really have to go,” Jasmine says putting even more pressure on me, but letting me know it’s okay by putting her hand on my shoulder. Although I hate Tyree a small part of me still has love for him. I want to pray for him, and hope he gets some help. He doesn’t deserve to die. He just has to learn it’s not okay to lie to everyone around him, and that you can’t just abuse people because of an accident. I almost hand the gun to DeeDee and walk away but she and Jasmine both have valid points. DeeDee is telling me it's better that he dies than me, while Jasmine is reminding me how badly Tyree fucked up our faces. It just reminds me how much this man, this stranger who I thought I knew, didn’t care about me at all, and cheated, lied, and used me this whole time. Then, on top of it, he had the nerve to plot to kill me and my best friend, or should I say my sister? I think about my dream, and realize this is the only way to get rid of him so he never hurts me again.

  “Goodbye, asshole.”

  I aim the gun at Tyree, close my eyes because I can’t look, and pull the trigger three times. Afterwards I just stand there for a couple of seconds before looking around. I drop the gun on the floor beside hi
s leaking body, and start walking toward the front door.

  “Hold up, wait Jamar,” DeeDee says before giving me a hug.

  “You did the right thing. I watched the way he was punching you, and looking at you. He wanted you dead, so believe me when I say he wouldn’t have stopped until you were, but now you don’t have to worry about that. Now get out of here. I’ll call you after everything is settled. Breeze and Bobby are going to wonder where everyone is at, so I’ll let you and Jazzy come up with something to explain your absence, but I’ll make sure Breeze knows Tyree quit the business and moved away from L.A.”

  I didn’t say anything I just nodded in agreement. I watched as DeeDee hugged Jasmine.

  “What are you going to do with his body? Breeze will be back in two days. It needs to look like nothing has happened in here.”

  “I got this girl. I’m about to call Bobby, he’ll know what to do. Come on; let me help you with your bags.”

  DeeDee walks us to the car, hugs each of us one more time, and tells us she loves us like family, and in typical DeeDee fashion she has to try to make us laugh.

  “Girl, when you get back to Vegas you need to lay low for a few days, just go ahead put a whole bag of ice on your face, and let that swelling go down.”

  We both sort of chuckle.

  “Is it really that bad?” Jasmine asks.

  “Yes, bitch. Tyree turned you into a monster. I’m assuming you’ll plan to stop at Jamar’s house so he can pack up some of his clothes right?”

  I nodded yes.

  “Good, while you’re there grab some hats and sunglasses because y'all look like some sort of endangered species of ugly right now.”

  “Bye girl. I love you,” Jasmine says as she gets in the car.

  “I love you too.”

  “Bye DeeDee. Thank you.”

  “Bye boy. Take care of her. I’ll see you soon.”

  With that over with, Jasmine and I drive off into the night. I don’t know how things got to this point, and what’s going to happen to us; but I’m just happy I’m not alone.