The Cowards

by Josef Skvorecky

  ‘Me, too. Kocandrle.’

  ‘She still going with him?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘You think he’s already laid her?’

  ‘Sure. He was bragging about it over at the Port Arthur.’

  ‘He talks big.’

  ‘Yeah, but I know it for a fact.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘I ran into them at Habry on New Year’s Eve. They were coming out of Kocandrle’s cabin.’

  ‘Well, she’s a tramp, that’s all.’

  ‘That doesn’t keep me from loving her though.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘I can’t help it. I don’t care how much of a tramp she is, I’m still crazy about her.’

  ‘I know. It’s the same with me,’ I said.

  ‘You think Zdenek’s laid Irena, too?’ Rosta asked interestedly.

  ‘Sure. They spent three days together at Ledecsky Rocks.’

  ‘And you’re still crazy about her, right?’

  ‘Sure. What would I do if I wasn’t?’

  ‘Anyway, it’s nonsense the way so many guys get all worked up about whether a girl’s a virgin or not.’

  ‘I’ll say. It doesn’t make any difference to me.’

  ‘Me neither.’

  ‘Then what are you worrying about anyway?’

  ‘What? Well, that she won’t let me lay her, too.’

  ‘And if she would, the fact that Kocandrle had had her before wouldn’t bother you?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I’m not so sure, Rosta,’ I said.

  Rosta shook his head. ‘Not a bit. I know it wouldn’t.’

  ‘I’m not so sure.’

  ‘Absolutely. Wouldn’t bother me at all.’

  ‘I think you’re just talking.’

  ‘No, I’m not.’

  ‘Well, I’m not so sure. I wouldn’t find it all that easy myself,’ I said.

  ‘I would,’ said Rosta.

  ‘You’re easy to please then.’

  ‘I am.’ Rosta just sat there for a minute and then suddenly went on in an anguished voice, ‘Jesus, what I’ve had to take from that woman! If only she knew! If only she had any idea what I’ve gone through for her!’

  ‘She’d still shit on you,’ I said.

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Sure she would. Women get a real kick out of that kind of thing.’

  ‘I know. So I’ve been told.’

  ‘Told what?’

  ‘That I shouldn’t let her know how crazy I am about her.’

  ‘That’s stupid too,’ I said.

  ‘You think so?’

  ‘Sure. If you stop showing how you feel about her, she’ll warm up a little, but once she’s got her hooks into you again she’ll ditch you again and you’ll be worse off than you are now.’

  ‘You’re right.’

  ‘Besides, don’t you find it sort of fun to tell her how much you love her?’

  ‘No. Not when she tells me to forget it, it isn’t.’

  ‘It does me,’ I said.

  ‘And when she tells you it’s hopeless.’

  ‘Even then.’

  ‘Well, it doesn’t me.’

  ‘It doesn’t bother me. Because I’ll get her one of these days.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Absolutely.’

  The guys in front stood up. Their silhouettes were etched against the white background outside. A thin buzz sounded in the distance and grew steadily louder.

  ‘A plane,’ said Benno, and he sounded scared.

  ‘Wait!’ said Pedro and listened. The buzzing came closer. It was fast, but it sounded kind of funny. Pedro listened tensely. He was an expert when it came to aeroplane engines. Then he stood up quickly. ‘It’s a Storch!’

  ‘Yeah?’ said Benno with relief.

  ‘Sure. I recognized it right away. Let’s go.’

  We all rushed out. In the yard some guys were staring up at the sky and others running for cover. People were hugging the walls all over the place. We looked off towards where the sound was coming from and it kept getting louder, and then all of a sudden a plane appeared over the woods, so low that it looked pretty big, wide-winged and fuzzy in the mist, but still you could pick out all the details – the sturdy-looking undercarriage, the little wheels, the glassed-in cockpit. At first I thought maybe it might start shooting, but then I thought, no it didn’t look big enough to mount a machine gun on. The plane seemed to be flying sort of funny, as if it was bouncing around in a strong wind, and then all of a sudden a big bunch of little white pieces of paper dropped out and came fluttering down through the air. ‘Leaflets!’ somebody yelled. They fell slowly and the wind carried them off over the yard towards the woods. We scrambled after them. Off they went, most of them settling down in the woods. They sidled down softly on to the earth. But the wind blew some back and the crowd lunged first one way and then the other as the wind played with the falling papers. Pedro jumped up and grabbed hold of one. The crowd was pressing in around the few guys who’d managed to catch a leaflet. Pedro looked at it.

  ‘Read it!’ said Benno.

  We crowded around Pedro and more people crowded around behind us. Pedro smoothed the paper out and started to read:

  To all units of the Schörner forces. All units and soldiers of the Greater German Army are hereby ordered to assist all Czech organizations whose purpose is Ordnung zu erhalten … maintaining order … and resisting the Bolschewistischen Ordnungsstörer … order breakers. Signed: Generaloberst Kurt Scholze.

  Pedro handed the leaflet to the guy standing beside him and told him to translate it. Then we worked our way out of the crowd.

  ‘Also,’ said Pedro when we got back to the woodshed.

  ‘Lovely.’ said Haryk.

  ‘It’s in the bag,’ I said. ‘They’re going to look after us. Nothing can happen to us now.’

  ‘So we can go home, right?’ said Haryk.

  ‘Home? And what about all those Bolsheviks who’re disturbing the peace? Who’s going to fight them?’ said Lexa.

  ‘That’s right. I guess I’d forgotten about them,’ said Haryk.

  Then I saw Benda. He saw me and came over to the shed. He looked pale and worried.

  ‘What’s up?’ I asked him.

  ‘Prema,’ he said.

  ‘What about him?’

  ‘They arrested him. He’s locked up in the cellar.’

  ‘What? Why?’

  ‘For refusing to obey orders.’

  Benda looked at me and didn’t seem to want to say any more about it. I’d have to pump him. The boys gathered around.

  ‘Well, that’s the story? What happened anyway?’ I said.

  ‘When they told him he had to hand over his weapons, he refused.’

  ‘And they arrested him just for that?’

  ‘They didn’t much care for the way he talked to them either.’

  ‘What are they planning to do with him anyway?’

  ‘I don’t know. They’ll probably try him for insurrection.’

  ‘Skocdopole?’ said Lexa.

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Because he wouldn’t give up his gun?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘When’s the trial going to be?’

  ‘I don’t know. Later on, I guess.’

  ‘If they don’t decide to make it a court-martial,’ said Lexa.

  ‘You think they will? They wouldn’t do that,’ said Benno soberly.

  ‘They’re just dumb enough,’ said Lexa.

  ‘What are we going to do?’ I asked.

  ‘I don’t know. I’m going to round up the boys first.’

  ‘You got anything in mind?’

  ‘Maybe. We’ll see.’

  ‘Jesus, something ought to be done,’ said Haryk.

  ‘Yeah, but it won’t be easy. They’ve got him locked up in the cellar and guards posted at the door.’

  ‘How many?’ I said.

  ‘Two. And even if we could get them out of the way, we still don’t
have the key. Kuratko’s got it.’

  ‘Jesus, couldn’t old Cemelik do something?’ I said.

  ‘We could give it a try,’ said Lexa.

  ‘Where’s Fonda?’

  ‘Probably inside with his old man.’

  ‘Then let’s go, shall we?’

  ‘Let’s go.’

  Just then a guy appeared in one of the windows of the main building with a bugle. He put the bugle to his lips and, after a couple of false starts, managed to blow a few notes. Everybody looked towards the window. The guy with the bugle stepped back and Kuratko appeared in the window, holding a sheet of paper. Everybody stopped talking and Kuratko started to read.

  ‘Order number two,’ he read. The military commander hereby proclaims the city to be under a state of martial law. No person may appear on the streets after eight o’clock in the evening. Patrol units are ordered to apprehend any such individuals and instruct them to return home immediately. In case of resistance to this order, members of the patrol platoons are authorized to use force. Signed: Colonel Cemelik, Military Commander.’

  Kuratko folded the paper, announced that all patrols should prepare to report to their designated meeting places, and vanished. The crowd started chatting and laughing again.

  ‘Let’s go, huh?’ I said.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Lexa. We started off.

  ‘Can I go with you?’ said Benda.

  ‘Sure,’ said Lexa. We went over to the main building. The guy posted in front of the entrance was wearing army pants and puttees but a civilian jacket. He had a rifle.

  ‘We can’t go in here?’ asked Lexa.

  ‘No,’ said the soldier.

  ‘Would you please ask Cemelik to come out in case he’s in?’

  ‘What do you want him for?’

  ‘We want to talk to him about something.’

  ‘In connection with what?’

  ‘He doesn’t mean the colonel. He means young Cemelik. Alphonse. Fonda. His son,’ I said.

  ‘Oh, him,’ said the soldier. ‘Yeah, he’s inside. I’ll call him.’

  ‘If you would be so kind,’ said Lexa.

  The soldier turned and stuck his head into the hall.

  ‘Jirka,’ he yelled. ‘Tell ’em in there that young Cemelik’s wanted outside.’

  ‘Okay,’ a voice replied from inside and then you could hear a door creak and a feeble voice saying that young Mr Cemelik was wanted outside, and after a while Fonda appeared.

  ‘What’s up?’ he asked when he saw us.

  ‘Come on out,’ said Lexa. Fonda came down the steps and joined us.

  ‘What is it?’ he said.

  ‘Look,’ I said to him. ‘Your old man’s locked up Prema Skocdopole for mutiny or insubordination or something because he didn’t want to turn in his weapons to the arsenal. Tell him he should know better.’

  ‘Who? The old man?’

  ‘That’s right. Tell him to let him out because otherwise he’s going to have the whole town against him.’

  ‘What did he do?’

  ‘Hell, he didn’t want to turn in his weapons. Your old man built it up into an insurrection.’

  ‘Yeah, but he’s nuts if he does that when …’

  ‘We know,’ said Lexa.

  ‘What?’ said Fonda.

  ‘That your old man’s nuts.’

  ‘But the Skocdopole kid’s nuts, too, when he knows there’s an order that all weapons have to be turned in.’

  ‘Fine,’ I said. ‘All we want is to get him out of this somehow, so smooth it over with your old man, will you?’

  Fonda pulled a sour face and told us to wait. Then he turned and went back inside.

  ‘You think they’ll let him go?’ asked Benda.

  ‘Sure. Fonda’ll fix it up with his old man. Old Cemelik gives him anything he wants,’ said Lexa.

  ‘Yeah, an only child,’ said Haryk.

  ‘The family’s pride and joy,’ said Lexa.

  ‘What time is it?’ said Benno.

  ‘Almost six,’ said Haryk.

  ‘Jesus, we’ve got to go out on patrol again.’

  ‘That’s right.’

  Fonda came back.

  ‘Well?’ I said.

  ‘The old man says Skocdopole’s a fool and won’t let anyone tell him anything. It looks like there’s not much he can do about it now anyway. He’ll have to stay put.’

  ‘And will he let him go?’

  ‘The old man says he’ll fix it somehow later on, but he can’t just now. It would enrage the people.’

  ‘Which people?’ asked Lexa.

  Fonda ignored him.

  ‘But afterwards he’ll fix it up so they’ll let him out, right?’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘We can count on that?’

  ‘If Pop says something, he’ll do it.’

  ‘So Skocdopole’s going to be locked up all through the revolution,’ said Benno.

  ‘That’s the way it looks. He is. But we’re going to fight,’ said Haryk.

  ‘Shit. We’re going to be as locked up in this damn brewery as he is, except it’s dry where he is and we’ll be left out in the rain.’

  ‘Let’s go. Thanks,’ I said to Fonda.

  ‘Is it already six?’ asked Benno.

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Christ Almighty, another three hours of knocking ourselves out!’ said Benno.

  ‘Yeah, but it’s for the Fatherland, remember?’ said Lexa.

  ‘Up yours,’ said Benno.

  ‘Benno, what would Helena say?’ said Haryk.

  ‘Shit.’

  ‘Boy, you really let go when she’s not around.’

  ‘Kiss my ass.’

  ‘Things look bad. Benno’s manners are starting to crack,’ said Lexa.

  ‘Why the hell shouldn’t they?’ said Benno.

  ‘Easy, easy. Remember, only three hours to go until supper.’

  ‘They’ll feed us shit.’

  ‘Come on, before we all catch whatever he’s got,’ said Haryk.

  ‘Let’s go,’ said Lexa.

  We tramped over to our assembly place. Dr Bohadlo was already standing there looking at his watch and shuffling his feet.

  ‘Punctuality, boys. We’ve got to learn to be more punctual!’ he said. The other three boys were already standing there. We started off. I was so worn out I hardly knew what was going on. We circled the town three times and then Dr Bohadlo, as sickeningly brisk and fresh as ever, led us back to the brewery.

  ‘When can we go home, Doctor?’ Benno asked him.

  ‘When we’re all demobilized, boys.’

  ‘You mean we have to stay here the whole time?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘They’ll give us something to eat?’

  ‘Certainly. Only today everything’s a bit makeshift. Now have yourselves some tea, then you can catch up on your rest.’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘They’ve set up a lounge in the back of the main building. You go there and I’ll come by for you at midnight.’

  ‘We’re going out on patrol again?’

  ‘Of course. Every three hours.’

  ‘Aha.’

  ‘Well, see you later, boys. Sleep well.’

  ‘See you,’ said Benno.

  We had our tea and then went to the lounge. You had to go through the main entrance of the administration building to get there. It was a triangular room with mattresses in the corner and benches along the wall and tables out in the middle where some guys were playing cards and others were sleeping, their heads on their arms. The air was thick with cigarette smoke and damp and steamy from the wet clothes and the light was lousy. From the corner, somebody whistled our signal. It was Lexa. We went over to him. Benno saw an empty mattress next to the wall and flopped down on it. He lay on his back and stretched out his legs, bent at the knees. He looked like a bloated frog. We sat down next to Lexa; Haryk lit a cigarette.

  ‘Well, did you take the Germans’ guns away from them?’ asked Lexa.


  ‘No. You?’

  ‘Yeah, we did. Really. There was this bunch of sad-assed bastards – five of them – followed us from the power station all the way to Sramova’s whorehouse. They said they wanted to give up their guns. We didn’t have the heart to turn them down.’

  ‘You kidding?’

  ‘No, honest. Boy, when I saw those poor Krauts – worn out and fed up and practically ready to lick your shoes – suddenly it seemed pretty crazy to me. Really weird.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘The whole thing,’ said Lexa in a tone of voice I’d never heard before. Then he said, ‘Hell, we make a big joke out of it, but actually the whole thing just makes you want to cry. I mean, I was really sorry for those guys.’

  ‘They shot your old man, you jerk,’ Benno said.

  ‘Not those guys,’ said Lexa. ‘They really looked like they’d had it.’

  ‘What’s wrong with you, you moron? Next thing you know you’ll be bawling your eyes out for Hitler,’ said Benno.

  I looked at Lexa. He’d always been pretty tough and ironic and a fast guy with women, but now he’d really been thrown off balance. He sat there, his eyes thoughtful, his coat collar turned up, the light bulb hanging from the ceiling shone into his face. With the light on him like that, you could see he had beautiful big dark eyes and all the lights around were reflected in his eyes.

  ‘No, I won’t do that,’ he said. ‘But I just remembered something that happened to me once in the war.’

  ‘What?’ I asked.

  ‘Oh, something with a girl.’

  ‘Naturally. No Lexa story without a woman in it,’ said Haryk.

  ‘And what’s the connection?’ I said.

  ‘None, really. Only this thing was pretty different from the usual kind of story. You want to hear it?’

  ‘Is it dirty?’ asked Benno.

  ‘No. It’s pathetic,’ said Lexa.

  ‘Then skip it. My stomach’s giving me trouble enough already,’ said Benno.

  ‘Don’t listen to him. Go on. Tell it,’ I said.

  ‘Yeah? I’m warning you, though, it’s not dirty, not even spicy.’

  ‘Get on with it, Lexa. Just cut the crap and tell your story,’ said Haryk.

  ‘Okay,’ said Lexa, and took out a cigarette, got a light from Haryk’s, and as he took a deep drag to get his cigarette going the glow lit up their faces. I thought about all the crazy things I’d lived through with them – the band and girls and so on – and I felt a wave of affection for those guys. Something pretty close to love. Then it suddenly struck me that this was love, too, a different kind of love than what I felt for Irena. But if there was any love in the world at all then this was real love. I loved them, these friends of mine. Irena had a nice body and I was crazy about her, but I really liked being with Benno, with Haryk, with Lexa. I felt good with them. Lexa sat up straight and shivered from the cold.