Identity of the Heart (A Hidden Hearts Novel Book 1)

by Mary Crawford

  “It sounds like you went above and beyond the call of duty to me. I’m sorry your friends turned into jerks when you got rich. That kind of sucks. Are you ever allowed to let your guard down?”

  “As odd as it seems, I’ve been more comfortable since meeting you, Ivy and Marcus than I’ve been around anybody outside of my family.”

  “That’s really sweet of you to say—”

  “No, it’s really true. Do you realize that none of you have asked me to fix your computers, your phones, or your iPads? No one has asked me to spy on any ex-lovers and no one has asked me for money. I haven’t had friends this loyal since I started working on computers. Things have gotten exponentially worse since I started Identity Bank. For some reason, everyone thinks that because they once had a class with me or worked with me sometime in the distant past, they should get an automatic discount on my fees. Of course, I can afford to do that now that I’ve sold the software program, but the point is, I shouldn’t have to just because we had a paper route together when we were fourteen. You know what I mean?”

  “Wow! That is bold. I can see your direct family members asking for a discount. But…classmates from junior high? That’s stretching it a little.”

  “You’d be surprised,” Tristan says shaking his head.

  “Actually, I’m not. I ran across a friend that I hadn’t seen since the fourth grade while I was waiting tables and she wanted me to give her the employee discount because we were such good friends.”

  “That’s just flat-out rude,” Tristan remarks.

  “Thankfully, I was able to truthfully tell her that I don’t work enough hours to earn an employee discount. I’m not sure what I would have told her if I would’ve had to come up with another answer. I was completely at a loss for a socially acceptable answer that wouldn’t get me fired.”

  “You have my complete and utter respect working as a waitress. I would never be able to hack a job like that. The first time someone was rude to me I’d probably either collapse into a heap of self-loathing or lash out at them— neither of which is an acceptable response when you’re working with the public.”

  “I think you’re probably underestimating your ability to be charming. After all, you work with the public every day in your job.”

  “True, but as a general rule my customers respect what I do and don’t treat me like dirt for doing my job.”

  “For the most part, most of my customers are pretty nice. Every once in a while, I’ll get a really big jerk. But, at least the place where I’m working now doesn’t tolerate them. If I tell management that I have a problem with a customer, the customer is asked to leave and I get to keep my dignity. I’ve worked at other places where they don’t support the waitstaff. It’s totally a drag.”

  “I’m glad you have found a good place to work, but I wish you didn’t have to work so many hours. Doesn’t that interfere with your ability to study?”

  I arch an eyebrow at him and cross my arms in front of my body as I answer sarcastically, “Why, no dad. I think I can handle it all by myself, thank you!”

  Tristan looks chagrined as he says, “I didn’t mean to imply that you couldn’t handle your own stuff. What I meant to ask is, ‘Can I do anything to make it easier for you?’ Unfortunately, that was a very clumsy attempt.”

  I sigh as I feed Tristan a big bite of pie and wipe the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “Tristan do I have to refer you back to the conversation we just had? Remember all the things you liked about our friendship? One of those things was that I don’t ask you for money. I don’t intend to start doing that now. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You are my friend—maybe my boyfriend, you are not my sugar daddy. I’m not going to take advantage of you just because you have money. If I wouldn’t ask my boyfriend who works at Kentucky Fried Chicken to do something for me, I wouldn’t ask it of you.”

  Tristan looks at me with wide eyes as he asks, “You have a boyfriend that works at KFC?”

  “No! I was giving you a hypothetical example. I thought with you being all scientifically inclined, you might appreciate that.”

  “I most definitely would not appreciate you having another boyfriend.”

  “Don’t worry, I barely have time to date one guy. I would never have time to date two. You’re completely in the clear.”

  “I think that’s what started this conversation. I was trying to help you with your lack of time. First of all, I said that I like the fact that you guys hadn’t demanded that I do those favors for you. That does not mean that I can’t offer them of my own free will.”

  “But, don’t you see that if I accept help from you, I’m no better than the leeches that hang on to you only for your money. I don’t want to be that woman.”

  “It’s a completely different thing if I offer firs—”

  “I don’t want you to ever have to wonder if I like Tristan Macklin for the funny, charming, quirky guy you are or if I’m only after you for the credit cards in your wallet. Do you get that? It’s for the health of us. I’ve been making it for a long time on my own before I met you. I’ll continue to figure it out. It’ll be a challenge to juggle it all. But I think it’ll be worth it.”

  “You are the definition of stubborn, can I tell you that? But I appreciate what you’re doing. I really do. It feels nice to be liked just for me.”

  “Take heart Tristan, I like you just fine,” I declare as I feed Tristan another bite of key lime pie.

  “I like you too, Rogue Betancourt,” Tristan says as he swallows.

  “Now, was that the truth about yourself or the thing you’d like to change?” I tease.

  “That’s very definitely the truth. Right now, if I could change something, I wish I lived closer to you. I don’t like the fact that we live three hours apart.”

  “I don’t like it either. Skype-ing is nice but it’s not the same as having you in the same room with me. Not to be superficial or anything, but you smell great and you’re nice to cuddle with. I miss that when you’re not around.”

  “I’m going to have to do some research into expanding my business. I think Kate can probably take over the original Tampa branch of Identity Bank and I can expand to Gainesville to be closer to you.”

  “Why would you do that?” I ask, my heart suddenly pounding. “Tonight was like our first official date. How can you even think about moving your whole business? You don’t even know me yet.”

  “Actually, I do know you. I know a lot about you. Ivy came to see me during the first week of July. This is the third week of November. We’ve talked virtually every night since I located you. Sometimes, we talk for hours. That’s more than most people talk when they’re actually dating. Sure, it’s fun to play little get-to-know-you games to learn useless trivia, but I’ve gotten a sense of what makes you tick over these past few months and I really like you. Besides, tonight wasn’t really our first date, it’s more like our third. We’ve had a coffee date and I took you out for ice cream cones when you got your car fixed. I tried to take you out for lunch, but you insisted that you didn’t have time for that.”

  “The first time at the coffee shop does not count as a date!” I exclaim. “You were on the job delivering life-altering news.”

  “True. That’s why I didn’t count it,” Tristan agrees.

  “Then what are you talking about?” I ask, feeling flustered.

  “That’s okay. I forgive you for forgetting because your brain was fried from pulling an all-nighter. Remember the time that I brought you croissants and hot chocolate before your midterm?”

  I flush from embarrassment as I recall, “Oh yeah, that was the day you had the meeting at the airport with the TSA officials and you flew into town. I still can’t believe you took a taxi to campus to come see me.”

  “They changed the schedule on me and bumped my meeting to that afternoon. There was no way I was going to be in the same town as you and not stop by and visit.”

  “It was a good thing you did too. I st
ill can’t believe I set my alarm for 9 PM instead of 9 AM. Had you not paid a visit, I would’ve slept through that midterm.”

  “I’m honored to be your multi-service boyfriend. Whenever you need an alarm clock, just let me know,” Tristan teases. But, then his expression turns serious as he says, “I don’t know about you, but I consider us a couple. Whenever anybody asks me where I’m going or who I’m talking to, I always say, ‘I’m going to go visit my girlfriend’. I’m not interested in dating anyone else.”

  I crawl to the middle of the bed, so I’m facing Tristan. We are both sitting cross-legged as if we are ready to play a child’s game of patty cake. I take his hands in mine. I place my hands on his wrists in an effort to steady myself on the plush bed. I can feel his pulse race under my fingers.

  “Tristan, if I am totally honest with myself and you, I have to tell you that I don’t know if I’m all that comfortable with the idea that you might move your business to be with me. Don’t get me wrong, I like you. I like you a lot, otherwise there’s no way I would have carved out the time in my life that I’ve dedicated to us. I just don’t have it. But, I’ve made us a priority because you’re that important to me.”

  Tristan slides his arms from under my hands and interlaces his fingers with mine.

  “Moving your business to Gainesville is a huge step. It’s the kind of thing that married couples do together. You’re absolutely correct, we have grown really close over the past few months. Closer than I’ve been with anybody, even Marcus who is my best friend. I don’t think we’re at the point in our relationship where you should be making multimillion dollar decisions. That’s just scary.”

  “I think all relationships are scary. Just think of it as if I were relocating my job for you. Because, that’s essentially what I’m planning to do. I just have to open an office for that to happen.”

  A loud laugh escapes my lips as I process his logic. “Tristan, do you know how insane that sounds? What are you going to tell the bank? ‘My college-age girlfriend who works at a tattoo parlor is a little tied up with her classes at Santa Fe Community College, so I’m going to relocate my established business that I worked really hard to build from the ground up all the way from Tampa, so that I can be closer to her.’ I’m sure that’ll be a winning pitch.”

  Tristan smirks. “Well, you never know. My bank likes me a lot right now. They’d pretty much loan me money for any project at the moment. But, if I were pitching this business, I would probably add a few facts about emerging markets, vulnerable seniors, surrounding communities — you know, the usual stuff.”

  I blanch a little. “Oh my gosh! You’re really serious about this. You’re going to get money from a bank and go forward with the project?”

  “I probably will at some point. But, if it makes you feel more at ease I’ll wait until we dated a little while longer. I don’t think it’s going to make much difference. But, I want you to feel comfortable about it too.”

  “You do understand that that’s a colossally huge, gargantuan big deal, right?” I ask, my voice a little shaky from unshed tears.

  “I suppose you could consider it a big deal. Or, it could be something couples do for each other all the time. Couples change jobs pretty routinely.”

  “Maybe in your world, but not in my world. My friends have a hard time getting their boyfriends to compromise about putting the toilet seat down or sharing the remote control. So, the idea of building a whole new business is incomprehensible.”

  “It sounds like I’m going to have to work a little harder to win you over,” Tristan teases.

  His words hit me hard. They remind me that I must seem like a shrill, paranoid, heartless witch.

  “I’m not trying to play hard to get. It’s just that it’s hard for me to believe that you, or any other guy would be willing to make that kind of sacrifice for me. It’s going to take me a little bit to adjust my mindset, I guess. Please be patient with me.”

  “Rogue, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to, okay? I told you from the outset that I was going to be by your side throughout this whole process. I keep my word. I’d like to be your suitor for lack of a better word—but first and foremost—I’m your friend.”

  Finally, I feel like I can take a breath. I move back over to sit beside Tristan and take the pie from him. I make a big production of taking a large bite. “I guess I owe you a few answers for eating this delicious pie. The first truth is that I am profoundly grateful that you’re my friend. The thing I wish was true about myself is pretty obvious. I wish I was brave enough to follow my heart instead of my brain.”

  Tristan turns and gives me a devastatingly thorough kiss. I am by no means new to the world of kissing. I was introduced to it at an embarrassingly early age, having matured quite early, but nothing in my experience has ever compared to this. Unlike most guys, Tristan is responding to my reactions, instead of just showing me a menu of moves. Even though he initiated the kiss, he is clearly allowing me to set the pace. There is something really empowering about that.

  When I thread my fingers through the neatly-trimmed hair at the nape of his neck and pull him closer, he groans and wraps his arms around my shoulders and deepens the kiss. If I thought the kiss was hot before, this takes it to a whole new level. A surge of desire passes through me. I almost laugh out loud at the unfamiliar sensation. It strikes me as funny that it’s been so long since I’ve dated that my body doesn’t even recognize what it feels like to be turned on. I really should get out more often.

  Tristan notices my reaction. “What are you smiling about?” he asks with a curious smirk.

  I hide my face in embarrassment as I reply, “Promise not to laugh?”

  Tristan nods and brushes the hair out of my eyes.

  “I was just thinking how pathetically long it’s been since I’ve been thoroughly kissed and how wonderful it makes me feel. It kind of took me by surprise.”

  Tristan just winks and says, “Again, I’m happy to oblige anytime you need me. I am a totally willing volunteer.”

  THE MOOD AT BREAKFAST IS just strange. I’m having a hard time reading Rogue. Although she seems really happy, she’s also pensive and closed off. She doesn’t appear to be fighting with Tristan. Their body language seems to indicate that everything is fine between them. They are being openly affectionate with each other. In fact, they are being more cutesy than I would’ve anticipated from either one of them given their personalities. Tristan is currently teasing Rogue in a manner that I would’ve expected from Marcus. Given our surroundings, I’m a little surprised by their PDAs. I don’t know much about Rogue yet, perhaps she’s more used to this kind of environment than I am. But the opulence of this place is more than a little intimidating. I’m afraid I’m going to break something just by breathing on it.

  I tried to tell Tristan that we could get breakfast at the local Waffle House or something. We didn’t have to eat at the hotel. But, he insisted that eating in the hotel would be the most convenient.

  Last night after the sauna, Marcus and I went over to the convenience store across from the hotel and bought some candy bars and microwave popcorn. We watched Mel Brooks movies most of the night until we crashed. Most people my age don’t even know who Mel Brooks is—let alone know the catalog of movies he’s done. So, I was shocked when Marcus not only agreed to watch the movie marathon with me but could recite the lines right along with me. It was thrilling to find my movie soul mate. We laughed so hard last night, my ribs hurt this morning.

  I focus back in on the conversation between Marcus and Tristan.

  “I figure I’ll bring an office to your neighborhood in Gainesville. It looks like a thriving little business community. Did they just redo all the business fronts?”

  From my perspective, this seems like a pretty good development for Rogue, so I wonder why I feel a wave of pain from her in response to Tristan’s comment.

  “Yeah, the city got some sort of federal grant to refurbish the business district. So, we al
l got new storefronts. It has? really revitalized the area. My shop gets a lot more foot traffic than it used to. I bet your business would do pretty well here. There are a lot of corporations around along with both the Santa Fe Community College and the University of Florida.”

  “That’s definitely a plus; I’m sure the bank would consider that as part of the reason to back me.”

  I can feel Rogue’s anxiety level rise as if it’s a physical entity in the room. It’s time to investigate what’s going on. “Rogue, I need your assistance with something in the restroom please.”

  “Do you just want to go up to the room?” Rogue offers with a surprised glance.

  “Sure, if you haven’t checked out yet.”

  “No, we didn’t check out because Tristan wanted to be able to charge breakfast to the room.”

  “Marcus, I’ll be down in a few minutes. Try not to get into too much trouble while I’m gone, okay?”

  Much to my shock, Marcus stands up when I stand to leave the table. Rogue grins from ear to ear as she says to Marcus, “Very good, Grasshopper. You have learned your lesson well.”

  “Rogue, don’t discourage him! That was perfect gentlemanly behavior. Women like me eat that kind of thing up. It makes us very, very happy!” I comment as I brush a thank you kiss across Marcus’s surprised lips.

  Rogue flashes Marcus a quick smirk as she says, “See, I told you so.”

  “Yeah, but does her opinion actually count as separate since she’s your twin?” Marcus asks.

  Tristan kicks Marcus in the shin as he instructs, “Marcus, Remember when we talked about your mouth getting away from you. This is one of those times that you might want to put a cork in it. Think about it for a minute, you’re in a no-win situation—either you criticize your best friend or your girlfriend or both.”