Second Chances

by Nicole Andrews Moore

  “Is your behind going numb here? Because mine is.” Isabella giggled and nodded. “I have an idea.” He led her back down the dock toward the parking lot. “Here,” he said, pointing toward a grassy spot with an enormous oak tree. “The ground will be softer because of the grass.”

  Isabella laughed. “I’m sure you’ve spent all kinds of time in grass,” she said sarcastically.

  “Hey,” he responded, “I had one really great nanny.” Gabriel sat down beneath the tree with his back against the trunk, spread his legs and patted the ground to demonstrate where he wanted her to sit.

  Eyeing the ground nervously, Isabella lowered herself reluctantly to the spot he suggested. As soon as she was settled, Gabriel gently gathered her in his arms. She stiffened at first, but then relaxed against his chest, happily allowing his warmth to permeate her thin cotton tank top.

  “So, tell me about your father,” he murmured into her hair while inhaling her scent. She smelled like vanilla and flowers. It was an intoxicating combination and he knew he could get lost in the smell of her for hours.

  In the past, when her father had been mentioned, Isabella had been nearly brought to tears. This time, however, from within the safety of Gabriel’s arms, Isabella finally found the strength and the courage to speak about the man who had shaped her life without even being present for most of it. For some reason she was able to tell Gabriel what she could never share with anyone, even Jessie.

  “I get really scared sometimes. I feel guilty because I can’t remember him as clearly as I used to be able to. I used to smell Old Spice and be able to recall every aspect of his face, remember how it felt to have him hug me. I was his special girl, and Angelica was his special tomboy.” She paused to chuckle. “He had the best of both worlds I guess.” She snuggled into Gabriel, turned to bury her head into his neck.

  They remained in that pose for but a few minutes before Gabriel sat up abruptly. He could feel his body reacting to her in a way that he hadn’t anticipated. The heat in his groin intensified as his pants grew tighter. Why couldn’t he just seduce this woman and be done with it? Once he had her, he was certain these feelings would pass. They always had before. Yet he knew that because he didn’t want that with Bella, wanted instead to slow his usual pace and see what happened that he couldn’t just bed her. He had to act before she noticed his conflicted emotions.

  “Bella, I love that you are starting to feel more comfortable with me, and I love having you in my arms, but I think we should go back inside.” He spoke the words more hastily than he intended and regretted it immediately.

  Isabella pulled back with a slightly wounded look on her face that remained nearly undetectable in the darkness. What happened? One moment she was letting her guard down, and giving in to her very basic need for some TLC and the next he was pushing her away. Had she scared him off all ready?

  He stood up and offered her his hands to help get up. Once again they found themselves in the meat market that was The Turtle. From behind him, Isabella could see girls smile at Gabriel until they realized that he wasn’t alone. He seemed utterly unaware of the attention. Once he had ordered them two Pepsis, he broke his silence. “I was afraid of getting too comfortable. Do you understand? I was picturing Jessie waiting up for you and becoming frantic because we fell asleep under an oak tree and no one would know where to look for us.” He paused and a smile crept over Isabella’s face as she pictured the fuss that would cause. He continued, “Then, I think about how you still have a long drive home and I don’t want you falling asleep behind the wheel.” He reached over and grabbed her hand, preparing her for the first truly honest admission he had made to a woman. “I care about you, Bella. I want to keep getting to know you. I would feel terrible if anything happened to you.” He squeezed her hand, becoming animated. “So, what if we sit and talk while we caffeinate, eh?”

  Isabella nodded. He cared about her. She didn’t scare him off, even though she certainly scared herself. Remember, she told herself, don’t be too quick to let your guard down.

  “I don’t suppose you would want to tell me anything about Jack?” Gabriel bent his head to look her in the eyes.

  “Checking out the competition?” Isabella attempted a joke. Then she recognized the anxious look in Gabriel’s eyes. He really did have concerns about Jack. He needed to know. “Jack and I won’t be getting back together, if that’s what you are wondering.” Gabriel visibly relaxed.

  “I don’t want you to know too much about him, or the nature of our relationship and its demise,” Isabella explained, “I don’t want you to hate him because of anything I may say.” She looked down at her drink, swirling the ice nervously with her straw.

  Gabriel reached over, gripped her hand, and she stopped. “I won’t hate him,” he whispered. “I will pity him for not knowing what he had. And if I ever meet him, I will thank him. His stupidity has brought me great fortune.” Isabella brightened and became embarrassed at the same time. Gabriel quickly changed the subject. “So, can we set up another date now, or have you had enough of me?”

  Seizing the ideal opportunity, Isabella opened her purse, whipped out the number, and slid it across the table to him, removing her hand for him to see. He picked it up slowly, a huge smile on his face. “How about if you call me when you decide to set up another date? I would even be open to other locations, unless you are hooked on this place.” Proud of the enormous step she had taken, Isabella sat back positively beaming.

  During the drive home, she couldn’t help but think that he really earned that phone number. The question now became: how long would he wait before he would use it? Exhausted as she was, Isabella rushed Jessie out of the house.

  “At least tell me if you gave him your phone number,” Jessie begged as she found herself being steered towards the door with Steven thrown over one shoulder and his bag over the other.

  “Yes,” Isabella said with some degree of exasperation. “Please, I promise I will call the minute I get home tomorrow. I am no good on four hours of sleep!” Finally she had said something that Jessie agreed with, which was why she grumpily headed for the door.

  Isabella all but crawled up the stairs, turning off lights as she went. She checked on the kids, both sleeping in Kyle’s double bed as happened so frequently. She reached the top of the stairs, threw her clothes in the basket in the closet, and wandered into the bathroom to remove her makeup before dropping into bed. Just as she finished rinsing off her foaming cleanser the phone began to ring. Isabella grabbed a towel to blot her face while diving for the phone to keep it from waking the kids.

  “Hello,” she said breathlessly, while considering who might be calling her at such an hour.

  “Hello, beautiful one,” Gabriel crooned. “I just wanted to make sure you made it home safely. I feel better now that I can call and talk to you. You don’t mind that I called so late, do you?” Suddenly he realized what could be the reaction to his impulsive act. Before Isabella could even respond to the first question he asked guiltily, “I didn’t wake the kids, did I?”

  Isabella’s breathing had returned to normal, but her heart still beat rapidly. “No, it’s okay. The kids are still asleep. Thank you for checking on me.”

  The two chatted for a few more minutes before saying goodnight. She relished that he could now call and tuck her in. For a moment she tried to imagine what it might be like if he were actually here to put her to bed. No, she chided herself, don’t think about that. Instead she decided to try and remember when she was last this... giddy over a man. Hmmm. Maybe never. For Mitchel, her first proposal, she had constant butterflies in her stomach, always afraid of offending him, anxious about being caught talking to someone he would disapprove of. With Jack she was constantly swallowing her sadness, worrying where he was, who he was with, and when he would be home. Giddiness, well, that was a new feeling altogether.

  Almost before she had time to notice, the kids’ school year ended, and summer began. She spoke to Gabriel virtually every
day, as long as their hectic schedules coincided. He did, after all, have a greater reason for being in town. She occupied herself with being a mother, gardening, photography, and of course, recording everything in her journal to prepare for her gallery show. Despite the many distractions she had in her life, Christopher noticed a marked improvement in her work.

  “I’m not entirely sure what has changed, Isabella,” he said one afternoon during a lull in their activity. “All I know is that this is the best I’ve seen from you in a while.” He paused to compare proofs from the last few days. “I just want to see you take more risks. You’re still playing it too safe.”

  As Isabella prepared for the 4th of July Barbecue at Jessie’s, an argument erupted between the two women.

  “Bring him,” Jessie ordered.

  “I’m not bringing him,” Isabella responded just as firmly.

  “How can you bear to spend the holiday away from him? You two have been dating regularly for almost two months.” Jessie tried valiantly to change Isabella’s mind.

  “It isn’t that. It’s just that...well, since he has a long weekend off from classes for the holiday, he will be at home. He’ll call me later, I’m sure.” She sat on the porch, watching her children play in the sand box out front with all the neighborhood children.

  “What is it, Isabella? Why do you really not want him here? Or does it have nothing to do with us whatsoever?” She sighed with irritation. “I just don’t get you sometimes. For years you have been attending this bash, first by yourself, then with Rebecca, now most recently with Kyle, but never, and I repeat, never with a man by your side.” She stared at Isabella and watched for a reaction. “Here you are involved with a man, a real man, one who wants to be with you and be a part of your life. He shows you every chance he gets! And you barely let him in.” She closed her spiel with evident exasperation in her voice.

  “Listen,” Isabella tried desperately to explain while unable to make eye contact, “I haven’t introduced him to the kids.”

  “What?” Jessie gasped then sat in stunned silence for a moment.

  Isabella bit her lip. “I have never asked him over. He has never met the kids.” Her voice grew quiet. “He has been a separate part of my life.”

  “Oh, Isabella,” Jessie sounded sympathetic, “He doesn’t have to be.”

  It was true. Gabriel would welcome an invitation to her house. On more than one occasion he had suggested that they stay in and watch a movie. He had offered to make dinner at her place. He had asked if he could come over and get together with the kids. Every time Isabella had thought up some excuse, some reason to keep him at bay, far away from her home life.

  In truth, if pressed, Isabella would have to admit that she feared making him a part of her family life. She liked Gabriel, trusted him even, but she had seen so many confused, heartbroken children that loved one of their mother’s boyfriends after another, and not one remained a permanent fixture in their lives. She had seen how disappointed they were, feeling that somehow they themselves were to blame for the disappearing would-be parent. Isabella refused to subject her children to that. There would be no string of men parading through her home. There would be no men for her children to grow to love that would only disappoint them later. She would keep her relationships to herself, separate from her children. They were her number one concern. They must be safe and happy. And so Isabella would go to Jessie’s alone.

  The conversation following the barbecue this year differed greatly from last year’s. Jeff sat with them after the clean up and once the kids were asleep on the floor.

  “So, Isabella, did I hear that you are seeing someone?” The question evolved innocently enough.

  “Well, Jeff, it sounds strange to hear it put that way, but I suppose the answer would be ‘yes.’” She shot an embarrassed glance Jessie’s direction.

  From Jeff’s arms Jessie stuck out her tongue. “Honestly, Isabella. I was there the night you two met. I have watched the kids every time you have gone out together. Didn’t you think I was going to tell my husband what I was up to?”

  She leaned back and watched them quietly. Jeff doted on Jessie as she lay there cuddled close in his arms. Jessie shared every aspect of her life with him. She had someone to curl up with at the end of a long day, someone to share her hopes and fears with, someone to offer comfort and advice. Isabella squeezed her eyes shut for a moment against the sadness that washed over her as she realized how sad and alone being with them made her feel. Maybe she should have brought Gabriel after all. She sighed.

  Upon her arrival home late that night, a groggy Rebecca quickly pointed out that the answering machine light was blinking. “Mommy, a message! Can I push it?”

  Thinking that the message might be from Gabriel she refused her daughter’s innocent request. “No, Rebecca. It’s very late. Go upstairs, get into bed. I’ll tuck you in momentarily.” Obediently, Rebecca loped up the stairs.

  Once she felt Rebecca was out of ear shot, Isabella activated the machine. She smiled widely and hugged herself as she heard Gabriel’s voice. “Hello, beautiful one. This is the other one. I just called because I miss you and wanted so badly to hear your voice. I wish I could be with you right this minute. I’ll call at precisely midnight. Wait for me to tuck you in.”

  Glancing at the clock, Isabella realized that she had less than half an hour to wait. No problem. In excited anticipation and giggling to herself, she raced up the first flight of stairs to kiss her sleeping kids. She bent to graze Rebecca’s forehead when two little tiny eyes popped open.

  “Mommy, who was that man on the machine? He calls here a lot. Can we meet him?” Rebecca babbled half asleep.

  Sure, Isabella thought, you would side with Jessie. Then murmured to Rebecca, “Go to sleep, sweetie,” as she tiptoed from the room.

  At the top of the stairs Isabella performed her nightly ritual, stripping, washing her face, and going to the bathroom. She moved the pillows in the shams to the floor beside the bed and gaped at the vacancy they revealed. She quickly dismissed any thoughts of what it might be like to not have to lie alone every night, and turned to the clock. Fifteen minutes. Picking up the book beside her bed, Isabella turned to her reading. So many changes had transpired, some better than others, that now Isabella had finally been able to enjoy reading for pleasure again. Before she had an opportunity to become too engrossed in the novel, the phone rang.

  She picked up the receiver while glancing at the clock. “Midnight precisely. You are good.”

  “How did you know it would be me, Bella?” He asked with a chuckle.

  Isabella smiled at the warmth she felt through the phone, momentarily gloried in it and resumed the conversation. “Calling to tuck me in, I presume?”

  “Always. Would you like me to sing to you tonight?” He chuckled after his offer.

  She tilted her head as she pondered a moment. “Can you sing like Andrea Boccelli?”

  A full-blown laugh. “No, actually.”

  Isabella giggled. “Then tell me a story.”

  “How about a fairy tale? I could tell you the one about a big city business man who finds all the happiness in the world with an amazing small town photographer.”

  “Funny. I’m not familiar with that one. How does it go?” Her eyes sparkled in delight as he spoke.

  Thus Gabriel began to weave the story of them, spinning a beautiful tale. Of course, as Isabella loved to listen to him talk, he could have just as easily been telling the history of toilet paper and she would have been as equally enchanted. Soon enough he arrived at the present and Isabella eagerly awaited the ending. When the story simply trailed off, she questioned him. “So how does it end?” She asked in a dreamy voice.

  And Gabriel responded with a surety that shocked both of them. “It doesn’t.”

  She sat upright in her bed. “All fairy tales end, Gabriel,” she murmured seriously, and with a small degree of fear.

  “It doesn’t have to.” Gabriel replied, wistfully.
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  She sighed, completely unconvinced, wondering what to say to fill the void when Gabriel spoke again.

  “Fine, Bella. If you insist on an ending, I’ll tell you the one I’m envisioning.” She braced herself, prepared for the worst, but nothing could have prepared her for the phrase he next spoke.

  “And they lived happily ever after,” he murmured into the phone.

  Chills ran down her spine.

  Gabriel lay awake in his bed long after he hung up. What had made him say such things to her? What could he possibly hope to accomplish? In the past, he had learned what to say to charm a woman into bed. He respected Bella too much for that. With her it was something…more. He didn’t understand it one bit. He had this uncanny knack for saying things to her that he realized much to his surprise he meant. He really did want a happy ever after for her, and the more time he spent with her, he realized he wanted it to be with him. Given the circumstances, however, he didn’t see how that was possible.