TOUCH ME

by Lucy Monroe

  "I know I said I didn't need a nursemaid, but you make a surprisingly good one."

  He didn't smile. He just met her eyes and what she saw in his made her take a hasty bite of the biscuit.

  "I don't feel like a nursemaid when I'm with you, Thea."

  "You don't?" Her voice squeaked.

  "No."

  "What…" She cleared her throat. The biscuit was too dry. "What do you feel like?"

  His mouth came to within a breath of hers. "A man."

  "May I have some more tea, please?"

  He laughed and moved back. "Yes you may, little coward."

  She would have argued, but for once she could not deny his words. He was right. She was a coward. The look in his eyes and the way it affected her terrified her. She took several more sips of the tea.

  "This is really quite good. Whose recipe is it?"

  He stood and began to pull her wrapper from her. She was too tired to protest the liberty.

  "My mother's."

  "She must be a very wise woman."

  "About most things, yes."

  "What isn't she wise about?"

  "My father."

  Thea yawned and did not resist when Drake tipped her sideways so that her head rested on the pillow and then lifted her feet onto the bed. "That's interesting. My mother wasn't wise about my father either. I guess we have something in common."

  Drake drew the light coverlet to her chin. "We have more than that in common."

  She could barely keep her eyes open. "How else are we alike?"

  He tucked the blanket around her. "I want you." He gently smoothed her hair away from her face, the touch sending shivers down her spine. "You want me, too."

  Drake spent a portion of each day checking on Thea and forcing her to take sustenance. Even in her weakened condition, he found her more alluring than any other woman he had ever known. Both vulnerable and independent, she fascinated him.

  Looking out over the ship's rail at the rapidly passing water, he felt satisfaction course through him. If they kept up their current pace, they would make port with time to spare. He turned and walked to Thea's cabin.

  The maid had thanked him profusely for his help, saying that without it, she would not have gotten her mistress to eat anything. He didn't doubt the maid's words. Thea made a terrible patient, too stubborn for her own good.

  His suspicion that she wore no petticoats had been confirmed the first evening when he returned to her cabin and found her dress in a pile on the floor. He had picked up the garment and folded it. There had been nothing else to put away. He should have been scandalized by her wantonness or at the very least convinced that she was no better than she should be. He was neither. He'd made that mistake once already.

  Thea's innocence screamed from her clear, blue eyes when they widened at his teasing. She let him touch her, to feed her and care for her, but when he caressed her arm or touched her lips, she turned skittish. And every day he spent in her company increased his desire for her.

  As oblivious to her own appeal as her uncle had claimed, she peppered him with questions about his ship and how the steam engine worked. She wanted every last detail and he found unexpected pleasure in sharing them with her.

  He knocked on her door, surprised when it opened immediately. Thea stood on the other side. Dressed. Her Capucine gown hung loosely under a shawl of light cotton.

  "What the bloody hell are you doing out of bed?" He followed his question with a glare meant to make her see sense, but she responded with a blinding smile.

  "Isn't it lovely? I finally feel well enough to get up." She looked ready to fall over. "I'm going for a walk. I want to see the ship I've been sailing on for weeks."

  "I'll take you to a chair on the passenger deck."

  Her face fell. "But I wanted to tour the ship."

  "You need to work up your strength. Perhaps tomorrow."

  Her mouth set in a mutinous line, she shook her head. "I don't want to lie on a deck chair like an invalid."

  "Where is Melly? I can't believe she has agreed to accompany you on your little jaunt."

  Thea's pale skin gained a little color. "She didn't. She's gone to visit friends she's made on board."

  The knowledge surprised him. Not that the maid had friends. Thea insisted that Melly leave the cabin each day for meals and a "bracing walk," as she called it. To his knowledge, the maid never walked farther than the passenger parlor. What surprised him was that the maid would leave Thea, knowing he was due to visit soon. He came at nearly the same time every day.

  "She'll be back soon, I'm sure."

  "I've told her to spend the afternoon as she wishes."

  "You were planning to go alone?" Unexpected anger seared him. "What if you had gotten ill? Who would look after you?"

  "I had intended to walk with you." She smiled charmingly at him. "You are not too busy, are you?"

  He had no doubt that if he refused, she would go alone.

  "I would like nothing better than to escort you to a chair on deck."

  "I want to go for a walk."

  "Let's see how you feel when we get outside, shall we?"

  She looked ready to argue, but then she nodded. "Fine."

  When they stepped onto the deck and into the sun, Thea stopped and tossed her head back, her eyes closed. She breathed in deeply. "Fresh air. It's a luxury I no longer take for granted."

  He couldn't resist running his finger down her cheek. Her head snapped up and her eyes opened. She stared at him in silence. He dropped his hand. "Come along before I forget that my mother tried to teach me to be a gentleman."

  "Your father didn't teach you?"

  "No."

  They continued along the deck in a surprisingly companionable silence until she sighed. "I don't remember walking being this exhausting."

  He looked down at her face and frowned at her wan expression. "Ready to sit down?"

  Her eyes narrowed. "You just love being right, don't you?"

  He wanted to laugh at her aggrieved expression, but he restrained himself. "Well?"

  "Yes." She gripped his arm tightly with both hands as he led her up a set of steps that opened onto the passenger deck.

  "Do you want me to leave you in peace once you are settled in your chair?"

  "Don't you dare." She glared at him. "You have a responsibility to entertain me while I'm on deck. After all, you escorted me here. It is the gentlemanly thing to do."

  The little baggage. She had insisted on coming on deck and now she tried to make it sound as if the whole enterprise had been his idea.

  "I said my mother tried to teach me to be a gentleman. I did not say that she succeeded."

  "Nevertheless, you would not wish me to make a poor report to her when we reach England."

  "You plan on speaking to my mother?"

  "I imagine I will meet her at one entertainment or another. From what Aunt Ruth said, that's about all ladies of quality do during the Season. Float from one soiree to the next."

  She sounded disgruntled by the notion, which made little sense considering the Season was her chief reason for insisting on passage aboard his ship.

  "You are so certain my mother is a lady of quality?"

  "Do not try to gammon me, Drake. You have a lamentable sense of humor, to be sure. You could not be who you are and your mother a common woman who sells meat pasties for a living."

  He stopped her and forced her to meet his gaze by placing a hand on her chin and lifting her face. "Who am I, Thea?"

  "You are a man of honor and integrity."

  He felt warmed by her faith in him. "A common man cannot have these qualities?"

  She pulled her chin from his grasp, but didn't break eye contact. "Of course he can. That's not what I meant. You speak like a gentleman, you carry yourself with enough arrogance for a duke, though I doubt you are that or your crew would not call you mister. You are probably a second son, who by rights of personality and bearing should have been firstborn."

&
nbsp; Her assessment hit much too close to reality for his comfort. It was time to change the subject. "Here are the chairs."

  She turned to look where he pointed. Several of the elderly passengers occupied the chairs. However, the one closest to them was empty.

  "You said you would stay and visit me, but there is only one chair."

  He had not actually agreed, but he didn't belabor the point. "I'll sit on the deck."

  She sighed. He didn't know if it was with relief or resignation. He pulled the chair away from the other passengers. He did not want to share Thea with anyone.

  Once she was settled, he covered her legs with a small quilt he'd taken from her cabin. "Warm enough?"

  "Yes." She looked up at him, her expression quizzical. "You take very good care of me, Drake. Why?"

  "You're a passenger on my ship. I'm responsible."

  Disappointment showed on her face. "Oh."

  He stifled a laugh.

  She smoothed the quilt across her knees. "It's a good thing not too many passengers get seasick like I did."

  "Yes, it is."

  She raised her gaze, her eyes filled with mischief. "You would never have a moment to yourself."

  * * *

  Chapter 5

  « ^ »

  I am growing stronger, for yesterday when Langley came calling again, I told him that although I wished to see my son, I never wanted to see Langley again. I could not bear it, when every meeting reminds me of his cruelty. He was so angry, I thought he might strike me. I stood and dared him to. Actually dared him. He stared at me as if I had transformed into some remarkable sea creature. He stormed from the room without saying another word. I am still shaking from my own temerity.

  June 13, 1798

  Journal of Anna Selwyn, Countess of Langley

  Adjusting her legs for comfort, Thea turned her face toward the sun again. She hated feeling like an invalid. What must he think of her whiling her days away in a deck chair like one of the elderly passengers? The thought that she cared entirely too much for Drake's opinion unsettled her. Drat the man. He should have maintained his overbearing arrogance and all would have been well.

  Instead, he had cared for her like a treasured friend. Or something more.

  She had not dreamed his assertion that he wanted her that first night, or had she? He had said nothing since.

  "Have you worked it all out in your mind?"

  His voice startled her from her reverie. "What do you mean? Worked what out?"

  "Whatever has put that look of anxiety on your face and kept you silent for the past five minutes." He shifted his legs, crossing one over the other as he leaned against the rail opposite her chair. "You did say you wanted my company, but thus far you have ignored me."

  "Five minutes of silence does not constitute ignoring you." She frowned up at him. "You must be accustomed to being fawned over in London. Are you very rich, Drake?"

  He shrugged. "Rich enough."

  "I thought so. For it certainly can't be your sunny disposition that has gotten you so accustomed to a lady's undivided attention."

  The wary expression he wore turned to laughter. "You think my money is all that recommends me to women?"

  "Well, you are very attractive as well." She must be honest.

  "You find me attractive?"

  He moved to stand very close to her chair. The sea air mixed with his uniquely masculine scent and she wanted to touch him, feel the hardened muscles of his body under her hands. Oh, she was wanton. She felt a blush crawl up her skin.

  Nevertheless, she did not like the complacent air about him. "In a general sort of way, yes."

  "What does that mean?"

  She looked away from his too intent gaze. "It means that your overall appearance would be quite pleasing to ladies."

  Looking sideways at the elderly woman nearest to them, she sighed in relief when she realized that the other woman was asleep. What an embarrassing topic to be overheard discussing.

  He laughed again. "So, there is nothing particular about me that you find appealing?"

  Was he mocking her? She couldn't tell.

  Regardless, she had no intention of listing off the man's altogether too pleasing attributes. "Mr. Drake, that is hardly an appropriate thing to discuss."

  "Little coward."

  It had not been a dream. That is exactly what he had called her the first night on ship. She smiled. He must find something quite pleasing about her as well. Remembering her current state, her smile changed to a frown. Perhaps he had found her desirable before, but surely he could not desire her now.

  "There is that look of worry again. You are biting your lip, Thea. Tell me what troubles you."

  She affected a yawn. "You were right, Drake. I'm very tired. I think I'll take a little nap here in the sun."

  His amused look vanished. "Are you all right? Are you sure you don't want me to carry you back to your cabin?"

  She could just imagine what the other passengers would think of such a display. "No, thank you. I am content to rest here for the time being."

  "Very well. I will send Melly to you."

  "No." She felt like groaning at his look of implacability. "I am going to be resting. What possible harm can come to me?"

  He frowned. "With you, that is a question that leaves me shuddering with the possibilities."

  "That's not funny."

  "I was not jesting." He pulled the quilt from her legs. "Stand up."

  He was going to make her walk back to her cabin. She could not stand the thought of spending the rest of the day alone in the airless room. "Drake, I—"

  He pulled her to her feet, effectively cutting off her protest. He then moved the chair back to a position near the dozing elderly woman. "Sit down."

  Confused, she did as he commanded and watched in bemusement while he tucked the quilt around her again. Then he astonished her by laying his hand on the shoulder of the dozing woman.

  She opened her eyes. "Eh, what is it? Oh it's you, Pierson."

  "May I present Miss Selwyn? Thea, this is Lady Boyle."

  Thea murmured, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

  What was Drake doing?

  "I'm leaving Miss Selwyn in your care."

  Thea fumed. He made her sound like a piece of baggage that needed tending. "I don't need anyone to watch me nap, Mr. Drake."

  He ignored her protest. "I will return later this afternoon to escort you back to your cabin."

  She crossed her arms over her chest. She could return to her cabin on her own when she wanted.

  He must have read her mind because he turned to Lady Boyle and said, "Do not let her out of your sight until I return."

  Lady Boyle looked down her nose at Drake. "I've chaperoned six daughters through the Season and assorted granddaughters as well. Your young woman is safe in my care."

  "I am not Mr. Drake's young woman. I am just a passenger on his ship." She fixed him with a gaze that dared him to disagree with her. "Isn't that right, Mr. Drake?"

  He didn't agree or disagree. He merely raised one brow, bid his good-byes, and left. The sailor's curse that went through her mind was a very potent one.

  Thea turned to face the older woman and forced a smile. "Thank you for keeping me company. However, you needn't interrupt your nap on my account. Contrary to what Mr. Drake believes, I do not need a keeper."

  "Who are you accusing of napping? I never nap."

  Thea hid a smile. "Well, I do. I'm not completely recuperated from this awful seasickness and find myself dozing in the afternoon."

  "The young have no stamina."

  Thea didn't know what to say to that, so she said nothing. Lady Boyle pulled knitting needles and yarn from a bag in her lap. Soon the clickety clack of her needles added to the sound of wind and sail surrounding Thea.

  "Pierson is a nice young man. You could do worse."

  "I don't know what you mean."

  "He comes to your cabin daily to visit, my dear. His intentions are obvious
."

  "How did you know he came to see me each day?"

  Lady Boyle snorted with amusement. "Come, young woman, surely you realize that gossip aboard ship is worse than in a small village. I would venture to guess that every person down to the potboy knows of his visits."

  Heat stole up Thea's cheeks. "I know how it must appear to you all, but he only comes to see me because he's concerned about my health as I'm a passenger on his ship."

  "Don't be ridiculous, gel. A man such as Pierson does not visit a young woman unless he wishes to."

  Thea had begun to suspect that very thing, but she doubted Lady Boyle was correct in Drake's motives. The man had at first believed her to be a lightskirt.

  "I'm sure you are mistaken. He is quite wealthy. He told me so himself. He can look much higher than a woman of moderate means and few connections, like myself."

  The older woman gave her a measuring glance. "I see you don't know about his background. He ain't exactly above reproach."

  Thea did not want to hear anything derogatory and said repressively, "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

  Lady Boyle nodded and gave Thea a measuring glance. "Just as I thought. He should have told you himself. Now, it's left to an old woman to break your heart. The young have no sensitivity to their elders."

  Thea was torn between wanting to know more about the enigmatic Drake and refusing to hear anything uncomplimentary said about him. Her curiosity won out. "I assure you, my heart is quite safe."

  Snorting again, Lady Boyle shook her head. She clearly did not believe Thea's avowal. "He's the natural child of a nobleman who has never even tacitly acknowledged him."

  What did she mean? Of course Drake was natural. Did Lady Boyle think that he should be unnatural in some way? Then something she had overheard Aunt Ruth discussing with the wife of a local plantation owner tickled at Thea's memory. Natural child was the polite way of referring to a nobleman's bastard.

  "His father has never acknowledged him?" That would be horrible for a man of Drake's proud temperament.

  "No. Such a shame, too. Pierson's done well for himself and is accepted by most of polite society."