Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2)

by Mooney, B. L.

  I walked around the other side of the desk, buttoning my shirt as quickly as possible on my way to unlock and open the office door. I couldn’t be in a secluded setting with him anymore. I turned around and ran into his chest. He slammed the door shut behind me.

  “Don’t you ever do that again.” His voice was quiet and firm as he spoke through gritted teeth.

  “And don’t you ever do that again.” I matched his tone as I pointed back to the desk. “You will respect me or I’ll aim a little lower next time.” I opened the door again. “Out!"

  I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I could still feel his hands on me from that night months ago. I could still feel him pressed up against me as he pinned me to the wall. I didn’t need the earlier altercation to remind me how his touch felt. How it made me feel. I turned my head and stared at the closet. I had a few items in there that would help me out of the predicament I found myself in whenever I thought about that night, but I never played during the day. As if on cue, my bedroom door opened, and I rolled my eyes.

  I sat up to see Drew walking through the door. She looked at the closet, back to me and smiled. “No batteries?”

  I smiled. She could read me so easily. I shook my head. “No, it’s interruptions preventing me from using it.”

  “I did knock. Gloria said you had a headache, but I really need to talk to you.”

  “Oh, it’s no problem. I was probably lost in thought. What’s up?”

  “Well, Dennis and I are trying to plan the wedding, and I really hate to ask you, but will you be our photographer?”

  “Sure.” The look on my face must have betrayed my thoughts.

  “Oh, don’t be upset. I can find someone else if you’d rather.”

  “I guess I assumed I was doing it. I’m not sure why you’re even asking or why you hate to ask.” I picked up the pillow and started smoothing down the wrinkles my lying down caused.

  “Oh. It’s nothing like that. I just want you to enjoy the wedding, too. That and I kind of wanted you to be a bridesmaid, but—”

  I hugged her. “You did? That makes me so happy!”

  “But you can’t take photos of the wedding and be in the wedding.”

  “Oh, right.” I sat back and ran my fingers over the pillow. “I see the dilemma now.”

  “I’d much rather have you with us, but I really want fantastic photos.” She leaned in. “This will be my only wedding day, you know?”

  I chuckled. “Let’s hope so.” I got serious and touched her arm. “But if something does happen between you and Dennis, I just want you to know I’m keeping you.”

  She hugged me as we both laughed. “That’s so sweet!” She pulled back. “So, what are you doing home? I came over to bring back the dishes and was surprised when I saw your car.”

  “I could ask you why you’re not at work.” I raised my eyebrows.

  “Good point. I’m trying to take baby steps and allow some of the other girls to step up and take over while I’m gone. I can handle leaving them in charge for a few minutes while I run errands. It’s going to be the honeymoon that’s going to kill me.” She looked at me. “I may need to shut the center down for that time.”

  “Nah. Mom will help you.”

  She looked at the doorway and back to me. “I would love to have Gloria back, but she won’t even consider it.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve tried to get her out of the house. She’s just so afraid to leave Deb alone.”

  She stood. “If it were my child, I’d probably stay home, too.” She sat down again. “You never said why you were home.”

  I started playing with the pillow again. “I have too many distractions at the office, and I thought it would be a good idea to work from home for a while.” I looked up. “But then I come home and there are more distractions here.”

  “I know the distractions here, but what are the distractions at work?”

  I shook my head. “It’s nothing. I’ll work it out.”

  “It has to be something if you need to work it out.” I looked at her, but I wouldn’t say anything. “You don’t have to tell me. However, I kind of have an idea what’s going on. Why don’t you work from our house? Dennis and I are gone all day. No distractions.”

  I perked up. “Oh, my God. That would be perfect. You don’t mind?”

  “I don’t mind at all. Dennis will be cool with it, too. Come over for dinner tonight and we’ll get a place set up for you.”

  “In the meantime, I’ll contact a couple of my friends who I know do fantastic work. They can photograph the wedding. You can trust these guys to do fabulous work, but I’ll bring my camera, too.”

  “That sounds really great. Thank you. So, you’ll be over around seven tonight?” She stood and walked to the door as I nodded. She turned to me, pointing to the closet. “As long as you leave my closet alone, we’re good.”

  I smiled and shook my head.

  I sighed as I sat down on the sofa. I had just gotten Amy to bed and I was tired myself, but I still had too much work to do. I rubbed my face a little to wake myself up and get ready for the late shift of my day. I looked at the laptop and noticed the USB port. I still hadn’t looked at Rachael’s pictures. Somehow, I got my second wind. I walked over to my suit jacket and took out the flash drive she’d given me. The laptop couldn’t boot fast enough for me, so I went to get a drink.

  “They’re just photos.” I shook my head and chuckled as I poured a small glass of whiskey. “And now I’m talking to myself.”

  I took the drink and set it next to the laptop only to forget about it as I plugged the flash drive in. My eyes widened as all the little thumbnails popped up. I couldn’t believe how many she took. I took a deep breath and started with the first one. I was blown away. I had just wanted examples of what the building was capable of becoming again; what could be restored and beautiful in time. These photos were already beautiful. It was a ruse to get permission, but these really should’ve been taken for a show.

  I reached over and grabbed my cell phone. I hoped she hadn’t changed her number. I sat and thought a little about our last meeting. I wasn’t sure what had gotten into me. I wasn’t the type of man to undress a woman against her will. I didn’t hold them down like that without warning. I shook my head. I had to get myself under control when I was with her. I couldn’t keep expecting her to come back after behavior like that.

  I looked at the phone and scrolled through for her number. I took a deep breath and hit send. It took a couple of rings, but a man answered. “What do you want?”

  I pulled the phone back and checked the number. Maybe she had changed it. “I was looking for Rachael. Is she available?”

  “There’s no Rachael at this—” I heard a scuffle in the background.

  “Hello?”

  “Rachael?”

  “Yes, I’m sorry about that.”

  The man started yelling in the background. “It’s after hours. There’s no need to talk to him now.”

  “Rach, if this isn’t a good time.”

  “It’s fine. Just a second.” I heard her heels clicking as if she were walking to a different room. “Sorry. I’m at Dennis’s and he doesn’t really approve of this . . . well, whatever it is.”

  I laughed. “If I’d have known that was Dennis, I would’ve said hi.”

  She was quiet for a moment. “What do you want, Carl?”

  I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry I interrupted. I just wanted to tell you that you did a great job with the photos. They really are a work of art.”

  “Thanks. Just doing my job.”

  “Why don’t you put a show together?” I wasn’t sure why I had asked that, but since I had, I wanted to know. “Your photos are remarkable.” I started flipping through them again.

  “I’m glad you liked them, but I need to get going.”

  I heard her heels clicking again and knew she was walking back out to the others. “Wait. I need to apologize for my behavior earlier.” The heel clic
king stopped. “I was out of line to unbutton your blouse.”

  “Apology accepted.” Her heels clicked again. She was finished talking.

  “I’ve got a lot of work to get through, but I wanted you to know you did a fantastic job with the photos.”

  “Thanks. I’ll have more to you in a few days.” She hung up.

  I stared at the phone as the call ended message flashed. She hung up on me again. I smiled and shook my head, reaching over to grab the laptop. There was a lot of work to get through.

  I felt the laptop slide a little. I sat up quickly to try to grab it, but it was gone. “Carl, come to bed, honey.”

  I had fallen asleep on the sofa and Joy had removed the laptop. “I can’t. I need to finish this presentation I have to give tomorrow.” I tried to reach for the laptop, but she held it close.

  “You have been over this presentation for the last two weeks. It’s perfect already. Come to bed.” She placed the laptop on the coffee table and held out her hands to me. “Please. I’d like to sleep next to my husband tonight.”

  I smiled and reached up to grab her hands, but instead of letting her pull me up, I pulled her down to me. “You only want me upstairs to sleep?” I started kissing her neck as she laughed.

  “Well,” she murmured, as she rubbed my back, “I could use a little more upstairs than sleeping, but I think you need sleep more than sex.”

  I stood up, still holding her in my arms. “Never. Sex is definitely worth leaving the presentation until morning. Sleep is overrated anyway. We can do that when we’re dead.”

  I sat up and caught the laptop before it fell. I closed my eyes. I could still see Joy’s smiling face as I carried her up the stairs that night. I wish I had spent more time with her. I wish I had slept with her in my arms more often. I looked up to the bedroom I had a hard time returning to since her death. I closed the laptop and placed it on the coffee table. I noticed the drink I had poured earlier, but never touched. I kicked it back in one swallow. I moved the papers that were all around me on the sofa to the coffee table and stretched out. I grabbed the throw from the back of the sofa and settled in for the night. I needed to look for a more comfortable sofa.

  “Good Morning, Kylie.” I walked past my receptionist’s desk and startled her. “Did you not sleep well?”

  “No, sir. I slept fine, thank you. I guess I was just lost in the numbers.” She pointed a thin finger to the computer screen. Kylie was young, but smart as a whip. Some thought I was crazy to hire her right out of college, but I had seen potential in her during the interview, and I was right.

  She may have had a different form of fashion sense than the rest of us with her quirky dresses and she may have used barrettes most days instead of pinning her hair as the older, more mature women had done in the office, but I liked her. More importantly, she knew how to do her job very well.

  It didn’t matter to me her brown hair had been in styles I’d seen my daughter wear several times, that her glasses were too big for her face and kept falling down, or that sometimes her colors didn’t exactly match on numerous days. What had mattered to me was the fact she showed up every day and took her job very seriously. Sometimes more so than those mature women who pinned their hair.

  “Keep up the good work then.” I smiled as I walked to my office.

  I had just walked in and set the briefcase on the desk when Damon walked in. He was my right-hand and my eyes and ears of the office. Everyone enjoyed talking to him and they sometimes said a little too much.

  “Hey, boss. I got the email last night and scheduled the meeting with everyone this morning. So, the pictures are that good? You think you have enough to convince them to move forward?”

  The complete opposite of Kylie, Damon seemed a little too much into appearances. If there were a mirror around, he’d check it. He had used enough hair products his hair often resembled that of a plastic helmet. He didn’t need to worry about it so much. It clearly wasn’t going anywhere. He was just a couple of inches shorter than I was, so I had the opportunity to examine it very closely on several occasions. I smiled as I remembered Joy catching me a few times and scolding me later for it.

  I did like his sense of style, though. He could’ve fit in with any of the black-and-white movies now known as classics and taken over as the lead man. I guessed that was why I hired him. If I needed someone to take over for a while, he would’ve been the man to do it. His take-charge, no bullshit attitude would’ve helped to keep things working smoothly until my return. And it had helped when Amy was born and again with Joy’s death.

  “The photos are remarkable. They showcase the exact things we’re looking for: repairable character. When’s the meeting?”

  “Nine. You have about forty minutes. Do you need help with anything?” He was smoothing his hair in the mirror by the bar.

  I shook my head. “As long as the room is ready to go with the material I emailed you last night, that’s all I need.”

  He straightened his already perfectly straight tie and ran his fingers over his hair once more before turning around. “Printed, bound, and sitting at each available chair in the conference room.”

  “Good. I hope to have a vote on this today. I’d like to get started before anyone else sets their eyes on this property.”

  I had gone to tell Rachael the good news, but she wasn’t in her office. I headed to Jim’s. As I got closer to Cagney, I narrowed my eyes. He had on a baby blue suit and no tie. His hair was spiked. “Did you lose a bet?”

  “Oh, Mr. Williamson.” He seemed embarrassed as he looked down to what he was wearing and gave a nervous chuckle. He turned to the computer and clicked the mouse a couple of times. “I wasn’t aware of an appointment today.”

  “There’s no appointment. I was looking for Rachael.” I looked him over again. “Seriously, did you lose a bet?”

  He got quiet and scooted his chair in even further before typing on the keyboard. “Rachael isn’t here.”

  “Yes, I see that. Do you know where she went?”

  “She’s working, Mr. Williamson.” The cold in his voice was unmistakable.

  “Are you sore about something?”

  He stood and placed one hand on his hip. “I did not lose a bet. This is the stylish way I would prefer to dress, but when VIPs are scheduled, I must conform to the more traditional style of business.”

  “My apologies, I didn’t mean to offend.”

  Jim came out of his office. “Carl, I thought I heard you out here. How can I help you?”

  Cagney nodded his acceptance of my apology and sat down, typing on the keyboard. I turned to Jim and followed him. I shook my head a little at anyone wanting to wear an outfit like that; but especially, the employer who would require a different dress code for certain clients. Kylie’s allowed to be herself no matter who’s visiting the office.

  Jim shut the door after I walked through. “Is everything okay?”

  “Does he really dress like that every day I’m not scheduled?”

  Jim looked back at the door and then to me. “Well, not only you, but anyone considered a VIP. We don’t get them here that often. Lance usually meets with them. I handle those appointments that come up when he’s out of town.” He sat behind his desk and held his hand out, offering a seat to me. “How can I help you?”

  “I was looking for Rachael.”

  Jim adjusted the calendar pad on his desk. “She’s working. Is there something I could help you with?”

  “I would just like to speak to her.” I watched as he fidgeted a little more. “I’ve tried calling, but she isn’t answering.”

  “She usually doesn’t when she’s working.” He finally looked at me.

  “Is there a problem?”

  “Look, Carl, she had missed a button on her blouse after you left her office. I know what happened.”

  I continued to look directly at him. “You don’t know the history Rachael and I have. Don’t take one moment we’ve shared and twist it into—”


  “You’re correct in the fact I only know Rachael’s side of one incident and what she’s willing to tell me, but her body language speaks volumes when her words fail her. I’ve worked with her long enough to know what’s going on with her even when she doesn’t know it herself.”

  “All due respect—”

  “I couldn’t care less if you show me respect. However, you will show Rachael respect. She’s a lady who deserves at least that from you and even though I’ve never met her, so does your wife.” He pointed to the ring on my finger.

  I stood. “I’m not going to sit here and be spoken to this way. As if it’s any of your business, I’ve already apologized to Rachael and she’s accepted.” I was half way to the door and turned back. “If you want to preach so much about respect,” I said as I pointed at the door behind me, “how about you start showing your assistant some respect and stop hiding him under a suit and tie when the suits come to visit.”

  I took a little longer getting back to the office than I normally did. I drove around to try to clear my head. It was difficult to have someone speak of my wife as if she were still alive, but I was asking for it by continuing to wear my wedding ring. It bothered me to hear him think I was cheating on her.

  I pulled into my parking space, but kept my hands on the steering wheel. I lifted my left hand and looked at the ring. I would need to take it off one day soon, but not that day.

  I got out of the car and made my way up to my office. Kylie was typing away as I started to go by her. “Sir?”

  I turned to her. “Yes, Kylie?”

  “Damon and Rachael are in your office.”

  “Oh?” I turned to the office door and lowered my voice. “How long have they been in there?”

  She looked at her watch. “Maybe ten minutes or so.”

  “Thank you.”

  I listened at the door, but didn’t hear anything. I walked in without addressing either one specifically. “I have a busy afternoon. What do you need?”

  Damon shot up off the sofa where he was sitting too closely to Rachael for my taste. “I was just entertaining your guest until you got here.”