Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2)

by Mooney, B. L.

  I hadn’t taken my eyes off the door Lance walked out yet. I wasn’t sure why he left so easily. He did need to watch himself for business reasons, but he was a hothead and I was ready for a blowout.

  “Carl?”

  “Oh, I had it towed to my house.” I finally turned to her and couldn’t believe the sight before me. She looked drained, emotionally and physically. The bruise on the side of her face had a twin on the other side I’d yet to see until then. Her eyes held unshed tears. She was a strong woman who needed a soft landing. She’d been hit hard that day, and I was determined to be that soft landing.

  I grabbed her camera bag and linked my arm in hers. “Are you ready? Do you have everything?”

  “Yes.”

  Her trembling hand gripped my arm that I had linked with hers. I looked down to her, but she wouldn’t look at me. I felt terrible for sending her to that place alone. I would make it up to her.

  I allowed the quiet on the way to my house. She probably didn’t want to answer a bunch of questions anyway. In all honesty, I probably wouldn’t know what to say. I’m sorry didn’t seem enough.

  I pulled into the driveway and noticed she struggled to unfasten her seatbelt. I had a feeling there were more bruises I couldn’t see. I got out and jogged to her side to help her out.

  I opened her door and offered my hand. I was pleasantly surprised she took it. It also confirmed the fact she was hurting. If she had been more like herself, she would’ve smacked it away. “I know it doesn’t make up for it, but I am sorry for today.”

  She looked up to me after she got out. “I don’t blame you.” She took her keys out of the envelope she was given when they released her and unlocked her car. She looked at the keys and then up to me again. “How did you get my car?”

  “I had it towed here. I said that back at the station.” I looked her over, as I grew more concerned. “I wasn’t about to make you go back there to get it. I also didn’t think you’d want to explain to your mother why your car was towed home.”

  She nodded and turned to the back door to get her things. I placed my hands on her arms and squeezed a little. “Stay here for a while.”

  “I just want to go home, take a hot bath, and go to sleep.”

  “I have a Jacuzzi tub and an empty home.”

  Her head perked up at the mention of Jacuzzi. “Amy?”

  “She’s staying with a friend.”

  She turned to look at me. “You?”

  I laughed. “I’ve got work to do. I’ll leave you alone.” I could see hesitation in her eyes, but she really wanted that Jacuzzi tub. “Please, let me make this up to you.”

  She nodded. I grabbed her bag out of the backseat and led her up to the house. “No funny business. I’m just using you for your tub.”

  I turned and smiled. It was good to have her joking again. I needed her to be okay. “Nothing funny about my business.”

  “Oh, I have a bag in my trunk.” She started to turn, but I stopped her.

  “Pop the trunk and I’ll get it. Is it more camera equipment?”

  “No, it’s an extra change of clothes. I’d like to get out of these.”

  I opened the door and placed her camera bag just inside the entryway on the left. “I’ll get it. Go in and have a seat.”

  I wondered why she had an extra change of clothes in the trunk, but it wasn’t any of my business. It bothered me to think it was so she could sleep over at someone’s house. By the time I reached the trunk, I was furious thinking about her overnight bag. Essentially, that was what it was. I ripped it from the car and slammed the trunk.

  Deep breaths didn’t help my state as I walked back to the house, but I needed to calm down. I could only promise myself that soon, she wouldn’t need an overnight bag for anyone else. That thought calmed me a little.

  I walked in and saw her sitting on the sofa. I tossed the bag in the chair and received a puzzled look from Rachael. I guess I hadn’t calmed myself as much as I thought.

  “Is that the wrong bag? It’s your overnight bag, isn’t it?”

  “It’s my gym bag. I have gym clothes in there, but they’d be better than this outfit right now. Maybe it would be best if I went home.” She stood.

  “No. I’m sorry. I thought it was . . . Well, never mind what I thought.”

  “I know exactly what you thought, and I’m tired of being called a whore!”

  She broke down in front of me. A sobbing mess, gasping through tears and what seemed like pain as she held her ribcage. I was frozen. I caused this. Causing pain was what I was good at. Why couldn’t I let her go and stop causing her pain?

  She fumbled with her keys and it allowed me the moment I needed to compose myself. I took her keys from her, tossed them on the coffee table, and turned her into my arms.

  “I was jealous. You aren’t a whore, but the thought of you with anyone else makes my blood boil.”

  I felt her hands grasp my shirt as she cried into my chest. I wanted to sit her down, but I didn’t know what was wrong with her ribs. I was about to find out though.

  I swooped her up and carried her upstairs. We walked through the door I vowed never to carry another woman through, and I looked to the sky to ask forgiveness. Somehow, I felt Joy would understand and would probably be mad if I hadn’t offered her our Jacuzzi tub.

  It was tempting to sit on the bed and hold her, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Instead, I walked to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub to start the bath water for Rachael.

  It was faint, but I heard it and it caused me to smile when she said,” I don’t cry.”

  “Clearly.”

  She sat up, still on my lap. “Shut up.”

  “I’m just saying, if you let it out a little more, it won’t build up so much and erupt.” I shrugged. “But what do I know. I’m a guy.”

  I allowed her to stand, but held her hips, as I stayed seated on the edge of the tub. “I need to look.” I looked at her ribcage and back up to her.

  “I’ll take care of it.” She tried to back away.

  I lifted my hand to her face and she flinched. I curled my fingers around the back of her neck and rubbed her cheek lightly with my thumb. “I need to look.”

  She didn’t stop me as I slid my hands down and started to unbutton her shirt. My eyes never left hers until the last button was unfastened. When the shirt separated, I looked and took a deep breath. She had two wide lines running across her torso. They were purple.

  “Is it bad?”

  “What happened?”

  “It’s my fault. I didn’t believe the guy was arresting me and—”

  “Wait, the cop did this?”

  “He was a little rough, but he thought I was resisting. I guess I was.”

  I stood. “Stop defending him. What did he hit you with?”

  She pulled back and closed her shirt. “He didn’t hit me. He pushed me into the bar.”

  The anger that had threatened to erupt scared even me. He was lucky I didn’t know who he was. He was lucky it was going to take time to find out—time I desperately needed to calm down. As sure as I was standing in my bathroom looking at her frightened face, I would have that man’s job—and his life.

  “Please don’t do anything.”

  “He needs to pay.”

  “He was doing his job.”

  “A job he has no right being in!”

  “Please, don’t make this worse.”

  I was seething mad. All I could do was nod. The only thing about to get worse was that bastard’s pathetic existence. I turned back to the tub and felt the water. “You should get in before it gets cold. I’ll head down for your bag.”

  Leaving her there alone wasn’t something I wanted to do, but I needed to do it. She wouldn’t undress any further with me in there and I did need to get her bag, so I headed downstairs.

  When I picked up her bag, my cell phone caught my eye. I looked up to the second floor to make sure she was out of earshot and I picked up my phone
.

  “Hey, boss. Get everything worked out?” Damon was always quick to answer my call.

  “I’ve got Rachael if that’s what you’re asking, but no, not everything is worked out. I need you to find the name of the arresting officer. Then, I need you to find everything you can on him. This is to be done as quietly as possible. Is that understood?”

  “Of course, I’ll send you everything as soon as I have it.”

  I welcomed the pain and soreness as I undressed. It helped me not to feel what was on the inside. I didn’t want to turn around and look in the mirror. What I was unable to avoid as I undressed looked bad enough. I didn’t need to see the full effect, but I had to.

  I turned to the mirror and kept my eyes closed; only opening them, after I reminded myself the bruises would go away. The memory of that day would fade as all of the other shitty days before it had faded.

  The first thing my eyes locked on were the bruises on either side of my cheeks. The thumbprint on the left side was a little more prominent than the fingers on the right. I looked down to under my breasts and saw the purple lines that angered Carl. I touched them and winced. I looked back up to my face. Was being able to take photos worth this?

  The truth was I would do anything to take photos. I turned to the tub and added a little more hot water. My achy muscles protested the movement into the tub at first, but soon thanked me for resting in the hot water.

  “I’m expecting you back at the office in the morning. Is that understood?”

  I closed my eyes and sank further into the water as Lance’s earlier tirade came haunting my thoughts.

  “You can be the slut and whore you are on your time, but when you do a job for me, you become a fucking nun!”

  My ears were submerged, but it didn’t stop the voices in my head.

  “Are you that dumb?”

  I only had a couple of hours between the flight I had just come in on and the flight Lance booked for me to head out again. I wasn’t sure why he just didn’t send me straight to the next job instead of flying me home, but I liked the idea of having a couple of hours with him. It’d been too long.

  I started to undress before I reached the bedroom. I’d been without him for a week already and I was about to be away for another few days. Foreplay wasn’t needed. In addition, we didn’t really have the time.

  Being tied down to one person had never appealed to me. I thought I was going to be a free woman my entire life. I saw compromises my parents had done for each other and one of them was always unhappy. They may not have been huge things, but they were each disappointed several times. I wanted to live my life as I saw fit and not allow anyone the opportunity to disappoint me.

  Until Lance.

  I couldn’t see my life without him. We met in photography class in college. He was the first man to make me feel as though I could have it all and not compromise the way I wanted to live my life. It was probably because he wanted to live his life the same way.

  I still had one heel in my hand as I opened the door. The noises grew louder the closer I got, but I refused to believe it. I had hoped he was just watching porn. Once I opened the door, my world around me crashed.

  He swore everyone was mistaken. He swore he wasn’t seeing someone else. He swore the ring he purchased was for a photo op. He lied and I bought it. I was such a fool.

  They both were too into the sex they were having to notice the door had opened. Lance noticed the shoe I flung at him, though. The bastard didn’t even have the decency to stop fucking the bitch he was with. He just turned to me and smirked. I shut the door as I turned, kicking my other shoe off as I walked away.

  Hugging my knees to my chest helped ease the pain in my ribs as I cried. The water turned cold and I was shivering, but I didn’t want to let go of my knees to add more hot water. I was startled when I saw slacks-covered legs slide into the water around me. The sleeves of his white shirt were still rolled up from when he started the bathwater, but they became soaked when he eased me to the side and reached in front to let out the cold and add more hot water.

  Carl didn’t say anything. He let me cry and feel sorry for myself as he washed my back that was exposed to him. Light, featherweight touches calmed me as he ran the washcloth over my back, arms, and the parts of my legs he could reach.

  The water had warmed and stopped my shivering. I slowly sat up and eased my back against him. He welcomed me with open arms and was careful when he wrapped them around me.

  “Do you need anything?”

  I took my right hand and placed it over his, lacing my fingers through his. I guided our hands lower down my belly. “I need to feel good. Help me feel good again.”

  He stopped our movement. “No.”

  I tugged on his hand. “You’ve wanted this and I’m giving it to you.”

  “No, Rachael. I want you, but not like this.” He stopped me from getting out. “I will have you, but not at the expense of your dignity. You’ll only regret this later. I will not allow you to regret anything that happens between us.”

  He was right, but I didn’t want to admit it. I nodded and sank back against him. He gave me exactly what I had needed and hadn’t felt in so long. Respect.

  The light was bright as it came through the window. My hand automatically covered my eyes before I opened them, but the movement reminded me of the horrible day I had the day before. I didn’t think it was possible to be any sorer than I had been. I was wrong.

  Someone snuggled up behind me. I was positive it was Carl since it seemed that I was in his guest room again, but I tried to turn to make sure.

  “Don’t move.” It was muffled since he spoke into my back, but it was Carl. “That damn sun is way too bright, and I haven’t had any coffee yet. Just stay where you are and no one gets hurt.”

  Smiling after the day I had just gone through didn’t seem possible, but it was the next morning and I was smiling already. It was a good sign.

  I sat up as gracefully as I could, but the pain made it awkward. Carl sat up and helped me as he tsked his disappointment. “I told you to stay where you were and no one would get hurt.”

  “In a perfect world, I would stay in bed all day, but I have to go to work.”

  Carl’s face turned to stone. “I know. I wish you’d come to work for my company and leave that prick Hathaway behind.”

  I moved my feet over the side of the bed. I didn’t want to talk about it. “I need to go. Thank you for last night, but I have to go home to get ready for work.”

  Carl scrambled out of bed, almost tripping on the sheets his feet were tangled in. If it weren’t for the pain, I would’ve laughed. He finally got out and walked over to the chair in the corner of the room. “I got you some things last night.”

  I raised my eyebrows as he walked over to me with his arms out in front of him. The proud smile on his face was cute and contagious, but I was afraid to look in the bags. Guys didn’t really get me, or my style. I extended my hand as he thrust the bags toward me. “Wow. You really shouldn’t have.” I looked up to him a little puzzled. “When did you go?”

  “After I knew you’d fallen asleep. I left a note.” He pointed to the note on the dresser. “Well.” He motioned for the bags. “What are you waiting for?”

  I nodded and pulled out a beautiful blouse, pleased to see it had no patterns or flowers guys usually buy for women. It was a gorgeous shade of green. I looked up to him, relief clearly on my face.

  “I had a little help.”

  “The sales girls?”

  “No. Well, a little bit.” He went over to the note and tossed it in the trash. “Just get dressed and I’ll make you a quick breakfast before you go.”

  He was uncomfortable with who he got to help him. That had made me feel uncomfortable, too. I took the rest of the clothes out and smiled when I saw the complete outfit. No matter who helped him, they really nailed the outfit. The black slacks looked tailored for my hips, a black jacket with one button cinching the waist in, and a gre
en shirt that made my eyes pop.

  I placed it on the bed and smiled. I would’ve picked out the outfit in a heartbeat. I looked at the other sack and wondered what was in there. Laughter tore through my sore body as I dumped out several pairs of bras and panties. I didn’t think he had any help picking those out. They clearly were chosen by a guy.

  Not to say I wouldn’t have purchased them myself. I held up the thong that matched the shirt perfectly and smiled. After the previous day’s ugliness, I needed to feel pretty and sexy.

  I heard a catcall as I walked down the hall, one I’d heard many times before. “I missed you, too, sweets,” I called behind me. If I had turned, Cagney would’ve seen the pain I was in. I needed to keep yesterday out of the gossip mill.

  He caught up to me and whistled again. “You are looking smokin’ today.”

  I looked at his outfit and smiled. “You’re not looking too bad yourself. What’s the occasion?”

  He had on all black except for the crisp royal blue shirt he wore under the thin black tie. “I have a date.”

  I stopped, turned to him, and gave him a huge smile. “That’s fantastic, Cagney.” I patted his chest. “Way to go, stud.”

  “It’s a miracle you’re here on the day I need you the most.” He walked into my office behind me. “I thought I was going to have to track you down. I’m a nervous wreck.”

  I waved my hand in front of me. “Pshh. You’ve got this.” I sat as easily as I could and started putting my purse away. “Who is it?”

  “Who is it for you?” My puzzled look caused him to explain. “You’re sitting down very gingerly. Did someone have a good night?”

  I thought back to Carl and how he took care of me. I thought about his refusal to give me the release I thought I needed and instead, gave me the respect I deserved. The smile crept across my face before I even realized it.

  “Oh, that must have been good. God,” he said, as he plopped in the chair across from my desk. “Please let me sit gingerly tomorrow.”

  I burst out laughing and had to hug my ribs. “That’s a little TMI there, sweets.”