‘Where are you going?’
‘I thought … you just said that you don’t do physical intimacy.’
‘I said I always was, this is nice,’ he replied as he kissed my hair again. I smiled and felt myself blush as my stomach flipped. It was nice, really nice. ‘Are you a roller?’
‘No,’ I laughed, I could hear he was teasing me, he knew very well I was a tactile person. ‘But Matt and Zac were.’
‘Do we have to talk about them while I’m still inside you?’ he sighed.
‘Sorry.’
‘Come on have a sleep, you’ve had a traumatic night.’
‘Yeah, amazing sex always traumatises me. I better move off you.’
‘Why? You’re light as a feather, stay there.’
‘I might fall asleep on you,’ I warned him. ‘You make me feel safe.’
‘Good, so sleep or do I have to spank you again?’
‘I can’t believe you did that,’ I yawned.
‘You pissed me off, plus you spanked me too, with your bloody shoe.’
‘I did, I’m sorry,’ I kissed his throat again.
‘Me too, come on Ellie, sleep for me or I’ll be ready for round two.’
‘I don’t have a problem with that.’
‘Sssshhhh, sleep,’ he whispered as his one hand caressed my backside and the other stroked my hair. I closed my eyes, with a stupid grin on my face. I’d just had sex with the sexiest guy I’d ever lain eyes on, and he wasn’t just holding me in his arms, I was sleeping on him while he was still inside me. Dan had a real soft side, buried deep, deep under his hard shell. I could hardly believe I’d broken through. I struggled to keep myself awake, wanting to savour every second of just lying here feeling his heart beat under my cheek, before it all went back to inevitable shit in the morning.
Dan
I lay there with a huge smile plastered on my face, trying to concentrate on how good it felt to have Ellie in my arms, to be buried inside her at last, to feel her heartbeat flexing against my naked chest. Anything to try and hold back the guilt I was feeling for letting myself be so weak to act on my selfish impulses to finally have her. However good I’d imagined sex with her could feel was nothing compared to the real deal. Her body had slotted against mine perfectly, my cock filled her perfectly, her heated cries had spurred me on and making me feel invincible, drowning out that nagging voice that was telling me that what I was doing was wrong. It didn’t feel wrong, not when I was inside her, feeling her beneath me, where she belonged. How had this woman gotten under my skin so quickly, making me forget everything I promised to never do again until all I could think of was her?
I tried to remember if I’d reacted so quickly to Rebecca. She’d been the only woman who’d ever gotten to me in my life until now, we’d been together two years when she announced she was pregnant. I hadn’t wanted kids, but when I’d placed my hand on her stomach I felt an overwhelming sense of pride to know that my child was growing inside her. I’d proposed immediately, wanting to do the right thing, but she’d declined. She’d told me that I was only acting out of a sense of obligation and she wanted it to be out of love. I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath. I’d never told her that I loved her, I hadn’t been sure if what I was feeling was love, until it was too late. I finally realised as she and our unborn son lay dying in my arms and our last moment was a tear of happiness that rolled down her cheek to offset mine of sadness as I whispered it to her. I vowed to never say it again, she’d ripped part of my heart out that day. I’d used sex as a distraction, losing myself between the legs of countless women, never allowing myself to feel again. The shock I’d had at seeing Ellie, at feeling memories of what it was like to really care for someone had taken me totally by surprise. Not least given my current predicament. I sighed and kissed her hair as she slept on my chest. What I was doing with her was wrong, but I wasn’t strong enough, or ready to let go. I just knew that Ellie was the one woman who could replace Rebecca and heal me, but it was inevitable that this was going to have to end as quickly as it started. At some stage I was going to have to take a step back before it went too far, before she started to care for me too much. She deserved better than me, I was fucking toxic.
Day Twenty Four
Ellie
‘Good morning, Miss Baxter,’ came his voice as I felt a kiss being planted on my lips. I sighed happily, I’d so not expected him to be here when I woke up. I wasn’t on his chest anymore, but on my side nestled up against him, his arms wrapped around me. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Amazing, if not a little sore,’ I replied as I snuggled up closer, not leaving any room between us. I didn’t dare open my eyes, I worried that if he saw how happy I was he’d switch off again.
‘Your arm hurts?’ he asked, his voice full of concern.
‘A little, but I was referring to other areas.’
‘You hurt yourself when you fell?’
‘Hmmm, I smacked my backside on the edge of the jetty and my head and the back of my shoulders on the ice, but I was actually meaning I ached from some impeccable sex last night.’
‘Impeccable?’ he chuckled. ‘That was just a trial run after a three year dry spell to see if I remembered what to do with it. Impeccable comes after I’ve tested you out a few more times.’ He laughed again as he heard me gasp and I pulled my head back to look up at him in amazement. Part of me wanted to ask why it was suddenly ok for us to have sex, after he’d been so adamant it was never going to happen, but a little voice in my head screamed at me to keep quiet and just enjoy it.
‘We’re really doing that again?’
‘Right now if you’re feeling up to it.’
‘I really want to, but I haven’t showered or brushed my teeth.’
‘Neither have I.’
‘Well, you’re not full of me,’ I objected.
‘Shit! We never used protection,’ he uttered as a look of panic crossed his face.
‘I’m on the pill and you already know I’m clean.’
‘Me too. Clean that is, not on the pill.’
‘I’d hope not, you definitely don’t want female hormones coursing through this body,’ I replied with a shake of my head as I ran my fingers over one of his pecs. ‘It’s too beautiful to mar, plus I don’t think I’d be attracted to you if you had moobs.’
‘Moobs?’
‘Man boobs. There’s a guy in our office who seriously needs a training bra his are that large, and when he’s in a hurry to get to the photocopier, everyone has to stifle a laugh as they swing like a pair of …’ Dan cut me off by pulling my hair, tilting my head back, and kissing me.
‘You talk too much,’ he murmured as he took possession of my mouth and I melted in his arms. This power cut had turned out to be a blessing in disguise. This was the most relaxed I’d seen him since I arrived three weeks ago. As I nudged a leg between his and reached down to grip his taut backside, I marvelled that I’d only known him for three weeks, yet in moments like these, he made me feel … everything a woman should feel when she was with a man, a real man. He was domineering and controlling, but when it came to me he also had a tender, loving, protective side and was prepared to go as far as to risk his life for me. I kissed him back as I kneaded his bottom and felt my eyes fill with tears. I had no idea how I was going to say goodbye to him, he’d already wormed his way so deeply into my heart. ‘Are you ok?’ he whispered as he worked his way across my lips, kissing from one corner to the other.
‘Perfect,’ I sighed.
‘I want you again.’
‘I want you too,’ I confirmed. So much you have no idea. He eased me onto my back and surprised me by inching his way into me gradually, with a gentleness I wouldn’t have expected a giant like him to possess. It was borderline painful given he’d stretched me so much last night, but knowing what rewards awaited me if I persevered only strengthened my resolve to continue. He gazed down at me and I bit my lip at the intensity in his eyes, and tried to pull his face down to kiss me, but he grabbed my hand
s and held them over my head as he gently moved inside me. He was full of surprises, for a man who hadn’t had sex in three years, I had visions of him just wanting sheet clawing, raw, frantic fucking, but he seemed to be making love to me. I begged myself not to cry as I felt my eyes watering again and he frowned down at me, his face full of concern. ‘It’s been so long,’ I managed to utter, hoping that would be enough of an explanation for him.
‘Only about eight hours,’ he teased.
‘You know what I meant.’
‘I do, even longer for me and I plan on taking my time and savouring it before we get to do it again.’
‘Again?’ I smiled up at him, before crying out as his thick shaft caressed my internal nerves, making me tighten around him, causing him to groan.
‘Many times. I hope you’re feeling limber?’ he grinned and sealed his mouth over mine preventing me from responding. I felt cocooned, pinned below his large frame, my breasts aching, his pubic bone skimming over my sensitive clit as he slid in and out of me, continuously treading that fine line between pleasure and pain, as he filled me completely. His tongue sensuously made love to my mouth at the same time as my body and I whimpered with pleasure. Sex had never felt this good before, and I really thought I’d had it good at the time. I wondered how many women were out there thinking the same, thinking that they were having the best sex of their lives when actually they weren’t even at fifty percent capacity of what a guy who knew what he was doing could make them feel.
‘Dan,’ I mewled as I started to stiffen, the prickling of my skin that precedes my ascent to an orgasm warning me of its impending approach. I felt him stiffen as well, but not in a good way.
‘Don’t say that, please,’ he whispered as he moved to kiss my neck. It wasn’t the first time he’d asked that and while my naturally inquisitive nature wanted to know more, I didn’t want to risk him stopping. There was a glimmer of hope that we could spend a perfect day in bed together if I just kept my mouth shut and ignored all the questions swimming in my head.
‘I’m … coming,’ I groaned.
‘I know, I can feel your body tightening as your cheeks flush and your breathing becomes more erratic. Come for me, Ellie.’
‘You … too,’ I pleaded as I kissed his neck and his fingers tightened around mine.
‘No, I promised you stamina, you’ll come more than once. Damn it woman, you feel incredible inside, no one’s ever felt this good.’
‘O, God,’ I moaned, the seemingly reformed man whore was telling me I was his best lay? If anything could lay those inadequacy ghosts that Zac had created inside me to rest, Dan’s reassurances could. I felt myself fill with pride as my toes curled and I started to thrash below him, it was too fast, I didn’t want this to ever end. ‘Noooo.’
‘Yes, don’t make me tell you again, Ellie. Come for me,’ he ordered. I exploded on command, fragments of my senses splattering on the painted sloping ceiling boards above me as my mouth juddered. Holy crap! He was … I had no words for how good he was.
‘O. My. God,’ I whined as my mind and body tried to reconcile again.
‘I could listen to you come all day. I want another before we do it in the shower and I make you breakfast.’
‘You’ll make me breakfast,’ I giggled, before groaning as he powered into me again.
‘I have a bread and bacon mountain from the freezer that’s defrosted and needs eating. I do good bacon sandwiches and I plan on working up an appetite,’ he chuckled as he tugged on my ear lobe, before rolling onto his back and using his hands to push me upright on him, the duvet cascading down my back, leaving me naked from the waist up for him to observe. ‘You have an amazing body, how the fuck did that arsehole resist you?’
‘Please don’t talk about him while you’re inside me.’
‘Was sex with him amazing?’
‘I thought so until … until last night,’ I replied as I gazed down at him with heated cheeks. A smile of satisfaction spread across his face. I tentatively moved on him, circling my hips and my lips parted as I took an inhalation of needed oxygen, his eyes were hooded as he watched me working on top of him, our fingers still entwined as he anchored me with the strength of his arms.
‘Faster,’ he growled, the reverberations shaking me to my core.
‘I’m sort of exhausted from a sensational orgasm earlier,’ I reminded him as I tried to keep pace with his hips moving below mine.
‘Sensational?’
‘Mind blowingly sensational,’ I smiled before crying out again as he thrust his hips upwards, spearing me. ‘You’ve ruined sex for me now, no one will ever compare.’ He frowned again and crushed my hands in his. ‘What?’
‘I don’t like the idea of you fucking anyone else.’
‘Agree to see me in London and I won’t need to,’ I countered, hoping he’d take the bait. His frown deepened and he suddenly sat up, released my hands and gripped my hips then lifted me up and slammed me down onto him making me scream. I grabbed his shoulders as he did it again, over and over, his biceps bulging as he powered me up and down on his swelling cock. If he got any bigger I was going to tear. I dug my nails in, breaking the surface of his skin and he grunted and moved me faster. ‘O, shit,’ I cried.
‘I’m close, Ellie. Fuck, you completely wreck me,’ he groaned. I reached up and clasped his face and our teeth clashed as I kissed him, over and over before wrapping my arms around his neck, needing full body contact as I climbed towards another crescendo. The light dusting of dark hair on his chest tickling my nipples, his hard abs grating against the soft swell of my stomach, his strong arms suddenly circled my waist, clutching me closer to him as I swivelled my hips and rocked back and forth. I was exhausted, but I wanted that orgasm, I wanted to make him come in me again, to feel that connection. ‘Ellie,’ he sighed as he tensed below me.
‘Come for me, please come for me,’ I pleaded as I went lightheaded and stars filled my eyes. I was going to pass out from pleasure. Even the parts of my body he wasn’t touching were sparking.
‘I could come all day for you, Miss Baxter.’
‘All … part of … the service?’ I panted.
‘For you only, yes,’ he chuckled then groaned and bit my neck as he fell backwards, taking me down in his arms. ‘Come. Now.’
‘Yes,’ I screamed as my orgasm detonated, shockwaves radiating outwards as I quaked in his arms and nestled my face in the crook of his shoulder. Holding in the words “I love you” when I was feeling like this was just torture.
‘O God Ellie, O. My. God,’ he groaned as he flexed his hips again and we shook in unison as he came, warming me from the inside. He hooked his ankles over mine and ran his lips up and down my shoulder and neck as I tried to recover. ‘You cripple me Ellie Baxter, you bring me to my damn knees. I don’t want you to leave.’
‘I can’t stay, I have a life to get back to. Work, a new house, Brooke. Besides, I’m just your winter fling. You’ll soon forget me now you have your sexual appetite back.’ Vocalising it hurt, I loved that he felt so strongly about me right now, but it wouldn’t last, not when I was back in London and we went back to our regular lives. I doubted it would last the minute he pulled out of me and regretted our night of pleasure.
‘I’ll never forget you, you made me feel again, you made life worth living. I don’t know how I’ll feel without seeing you every day.’
‘Me neither,’ I sighed as I clung to him harder. My stomach did gymnastic flips at his declaration, while it hurt my chest to hear his words. We stayed silent, our laboured breathing the only noise, other than the constant dripping of the snow melting on the roof and the occasional rumble as sections of it slid down the tiles and landed in a heap against the wooden walls. Eventually I felt him kiss my neck again, and one hand reached down to squeeze one of my buttocks and I winced again.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Just a bit tender, that’s all. It’s nothing.’ I kissed his salty skin, just below his ear and heard him groan as h
e tilted his head to let me do it again.
‘I want to see. Lie on your front for me.’
‘I don’t want to move. I’m happy here,’ I murmured as I continued to work on the spot that elicited more groans from him.
‘Me too, but I need to see.’ He sat up again, just using his powerful stomach muscles, kissed me on the lips and lifted me off him, placing me at his side, kneeling on the bed. ‘Lie down,’ he ordered. I sighed and did as I was told and felt him move my hair out of the way as he placed a gentle kiss on the back of my neck. I smiled and turned my head to the side on the pillow as I felt him run his fingers down my spine. I heard him hiss through his teeth.
‘What? What’s wrong?’
‘You have a nasty bruise across your backside, in a line.’
‘It definitely hurt when I landed.’
‘The back of your shoulder’s bruised as well,’ he observed and leaned down and placed a kiss on it. ‘Does it hurt?’
‘Not really. I just feel a bit stiff, that’s all.’
‘A hot shower will help loosen up your muscles. Come on. I need to eat. I have quite an appetite this morning.’
‘I’ll bet,’ I giggled.
‘If you weren’t so bruised, I’d spank you,’ he laughed. I smiled over my shoulder, then frowned as I recalled last night and how scared I’d been as I went under the water. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as I shivered.
‘Just remembering being in that water and thinking I was never getting out.’
‘You scared the living daylights out of me. I was in complete panic mode when I heard you scream and I came out and couldn’t see you.’
‘I can’t believe you came in after me. You could’ve drowned as well.’
‘I swim in the loch in Summer, I’m strong,’ he advised as he caressed the small of my back.
‘Then I’m very lucky. Thank you so much,’ I whispered sincerely as I held his gaze. He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear, then leaned down and kissed my temple. How could something so simple make my stomach flip like that? I wondered. I grabbed his hand and yanked him down onto the pillow next to me. ‘Thank you,’ I uttered again. ‘For everything.’ I felt my eyes fill up, and I was terrified that any minute he was going to remember that he shouldn’t be happy and revert back to his cold distant persona. It had been hard to accept before, but now we’d had sex, my connection to him ran even deeper, it was going to hurt an awful lot more. He held my cheek and brushed my tears away with his thumb as he frowned.
31 Days of Winter (31 Days #1) Page 37
