Copper to Red (The Dillwyns' Stories)

by Bladen, Ceri

  ~~~~

  Willow was pouring a measure of vodka for a customer, when she suddenly sensed a quietness falling over the bar. She turned quickly and looked into the familiar eyes of Robert staring back at her.

  “Hi, Willow.”

  A smile played hesitantly on his lips, as the glass slid from her hand and smashed onto the floor. Willow’s throat constricted, not even allowing a squeak to escape. She stared, wide eyed.

  Shirley rushed forward towards her daughter, nudging her towards the back room. “Janet, take Robert through into the back.” She didn’t want all the locals, who were now riveted to see any action, have anything to gossip over. Shirley barely acknowledged Robert with a nod, all her instincts set to protect her daughter. “I’ll clean up this glass.” She used her outstretched arm to halt her husband, feeling the ripple of anger vibrate through him. The last thing Willow needed was for her father and ex-husband to be embroiled in a fight. She nudged Willow again, who was still standing still, in shock. “Willow?” She watched her daughter’s eyes turn towards her, glazed. “Take Robert through to the back. You can talk in there, privately.” She indicated with a glance at all the riveted eyes watching them.

  “Of course, Mam.” She turned towards Rob, her smile a little shaky. “Come through.”

  On entering the room, Willow sort out the arm chair. She needed to sit down, her legs barely supporting her. It was the first time she had seen Robert in a couple of years, since he had walked out on her. She always wondered how she would feel when she eventually saw him again, mind numbing shock wasn’t the reaction she was expecting. She looked at him. Unfortunately, he looked the same, able to stir responses that she really did not want to feel again. “Please sit.” She indicated to a chair away from her, she didn’t want him too near to her. Willow watched as he leaned back in the chair, folding his legs at the ankles. He looked totally relaxed, something that she wasn’t at this moment.

  “Willow, you look a bit pale. Are you alright?” Rob politely enquired.

  Willow bristled inside, but didn’t let her reaction show. Of course she was pale! “No, I’m fine Robert,” she replied, also politely, as though they were just courteous strangers, which she supposed, they now were. “What brings you back around here?”

  “You.” He looked directly into her eyes, his face impassive.

  Willow shifted slightly in the chair, not quite understanding his reply and feeling uncomfortable under his unwavering stare. “Well…I’m not sure what you mean by that… but…”

  “It’s simple,” he interrupted her babbling, his fingertips banging together. “I want you back.”

  “Well…um….” She started spluttering. It was the last thing she was expecting, having just divorced him.

  “It is really quite simple Willow. I realised that I want you. I want you back in my life.”

  She watched, dumb struck, as he picked a bit of thread off his trouser leg, his arrogance not registering in her stunned state. His eyes rose to pin her with his look again.

  “I am patient. I will wait as long as necessary for you to realise the same.” A slightly overconfident smile played on his lips as he stood up and walked to the door, his voice was gentle. “I will make you happy again Willow, I will have you back in my life.” He gave her a mock salute as he closed the door behind him.

  After the final shockwave subsided, numbness crept into her. She registered she should be angry at his arrogance, but in truth, she wasn’t. It was a shock to realise that she still had feelings for him, feelings that she thought had been snuffed out because she had buried them so deeply. Her emotions were all clambering to bubble at the surface, threatening to engulf her again, like a tsunami. She shuddered, she had to make a discussion. Did she want to allow herself to be vulnerable again? She put her head in her hands. She knew Tom was off limits, she now had to decide whether she would find happiness, with Robert, once again.

  ~~~~

  Between working and ‘dates’ with Robert, the weeks flew past quickly. With a cup of tea in her hand, Willow sat at the table. She looked around at all the flowers Rob had sent her. Her parents had wisely kept their opinions to themselves, they were not too happy about her seeing Robert, but mainly because they didn’t want to see her hurt once again. She didn’t know how she felt about Robert, her emotions were all over the place. He had been courteous and charming, like when they first met, her body definitely responded to him, although she never allowed him near enough for it to become an issue, and she knew she still loved him, but she didn’t trust him. The only concrete emotion she knew was real and wasn’t confused about, was the pain of losing Tom to Sarah. She bent to smell the most recent bunch, red roses, inhaling their scent, trying to stall the tightening of her chest she always got when she thought of Tom. Willow really didn’t want all of these flowers; she just wanted to feel as though she could trust Rob again. Talking with him had answered some of her questions, but something that had surprised Willow, as it had happened without her being aware, was that time had silently healed some of the hurt Robert had caused her.

  She sipped her tea, one thing still nagged at her - the feeling that she was merely playing a part when she was with Rob. Was she kidding herself that she could be content with Robert again? Did she really want to turn the clock back to before or had meeting and having feelings for Tom made her realise that she wanted change? She turned and picked up a vase which contained some wilting flowers. While walking towards the kitchen, she silently wished that her once, young, unconditional love hadn’t wilted like the sad, dying flowers.

  ~~~~

  “That was a…a…rather strange film,” Willow searched for an adequate word to describe the film as Robert reached to take her hand in his. He brought it up to his lips to kiss, which gave her a warm, almost pleasant glow.

  Rob smiled at her, mischief dancing in his eyes. “Perhaps I should lock you in a cellar, with my collection of butterflies, until you realise that you love me!” he jested.

  “But poor Miranda dies!” she playfully swatted his chest with her free hand. “The ending freaked me too, Frederick stalking that nurse,” she shuddered. “Yuk. I suppose they are going to make another film…”

  Rob’s face looked thoughtful. “No, I don’t think so. I think John Fowles only wrote The Collector, I don’t think he has written a sequel. But you never know…”

  “Oh, I hope not! I prefer love stories.” Willow’s smile froze when she realised what she had inferred.

  “So do I,” Robert whispered, looking directly into her eyes. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he gently pulled her towards him, his head slowly descending towards her lips, to place a soft kiss on them.

  Willow felt the warmth of his breath before the kiss. If felt comforting and pleasant, not earth shattering, but enjoyable. She had not encouraged Rob at all with his affections; she was just letting it move at a slow pace, which suited her for now and he didn’t seem to be pushing her. She turned out of his embrace, taking his arm. Smiling up at him, they started to walk away from the cinema, talking about the film they had just watched. Unaware of her environment, Willow suddenly smacked into something solid, her breath being momentarily knocked out of her.

  “Hey, take it easy. You walked into my wife!” Robert barked at the man standing in front of them.

  Before Willow had the chance to comprehend that Rob had called her, ‘his wife’, she realised it was Tom that she had bumped into. Her heart landed in her toes. He looked as stunned as her.

  Tom broke the silence first. “Sorry Willow.” He gaze quickly flicked over her face. He realised that she looked a little pale and gaunt. He cursed silently, hoping that he wasn’t, but knowing he was the cause. Tom had never wanted to hurt her. He looked towards Robert, who had a protective arm wrapped around Willow. Jealousy tore through Tom, he squashed it, knowing he had no right to feel that emotion. Recognising Robert as the ex-husband who had badly hurt her, he had to squash every fibre that was telling him to punch him i
n the face.

  “That’s okay,” Willow faltered. “We didn’t see you either.” She smiled towards Sarah who was silently taking in the scene. Willow turned slightly, uncomfortable with Robert’s tight, possessive hold on her. “Robert, this is Tom Dillwyn, you must remember him from school? And Sarah Davies.” She smiled towards Sarah, who acknowledged Rob with a half-hearted smile. “Congratulations are in order too as they are getting married next week.” Willow felt Robert release his embrace slightly, obviously happy now that Tom was not a threat. She watched as Robert held out his hand to shake Tom’s hand.

  “Yes, I remember you. You had a brother, Michael and a sister, Ria?”

  “Yes, that’s right.” Tom replied politely. Willow noticed that his smile was not as easy going as usual.

  “What are they both up to now?” Willow silently wished Robert would stop chatting as if they were friends. It was silently destroying her standing so near to Tom and not touching him.

  “Michael is still working down the mines with my father. Ria is married now with two children.” Tom responded to the question.

  A movement made by Sarah made Willow look towards her. At the mention of children, Sarah had put a protective hand on her stomach. Willow felt the pain, almost physically making her legs buckle. With that one gesture of impending motherhood, reality slammed into her with full force. Putting aside the strong feeling of jealousy, Willow clearly understood that she would never trust Robert enough to ever consider having a baby with him. She knew it was finally over.

  Chapter 14

  Emma and Willow arrived at the church gates. “Are you sure you want to go in Willow?” Emma questioned, concerned for her friend. Willow had been through a rough time of it lately, with both the rejection from Tom and the ending of her relationship, again, to Robert. She touched Willow’s arm gently, noticing that Willow had a glazed expression on her face. She watched her friend take an intake of breath.

  “Yes, I’m sure. I need to go in.” Willow looked into Emma’s eyes for support. “I need to have closure from both Robert and Tom. I need to see Tom married to Sarah so I can start to move on with my life.” She gave a wavering smile and started walking towards the church doors, gently tugging her friend with her.

  The small church was packed with family and friends, Emma and Willow slipped into the back pew. Willow noted all Tom’s family sitting on the front pews. She was suddenly glad of her position; she would be able to slip out if she needed to. All around people were acknowledging each other with quiet hellos and nods, the church having a way of tempering people’s normal voices.

  Willow’s eyes were drawn to Tom’s suited back. She couldn’t see his face and was silently thankful. She didn’t know how she would react if he looked at her, or how she would react if he didn’t. Michael was standing next to him, as broad and tall as his brother, only his hair was a little lighter. Willow sighed, if only it was Michael, who was unattached, that stirred her blood the way his brother did. But he didn’t.

  Willow jumped when the organist started to play the Bridal March. Emma placed her hand over Willow’s clasped ones in a silent sign of support. Everyone hushed and slowly stood, looking towards the back, waiting for the bride. Willow needed to calm herself before looking at the bride, she didn’t honestly know if she could look at Sarah. Her eyes slid towards the front first. A sharp intake of breath followed when she caught Tom’s gaze. He looked straight at her, before tearing his eyes away to look at the door. Her heart dropped to her toes.

  Tom knew Willow was there, he knew when she had arrived; he just felt it in his blood. He could sense when she was looking at him. He couldn’t turn around, he couldn’t look at her, it was his wedding day! There were enough gossipmongers already sitting in the pews, only there to see if Sarah was really pregnant, no doubt. He didn’t need them knowing about his feelings for Willow too. Since bumping into her after the cinema, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. During the day, he had to consciously think of something else to distract himself. Night time was the worst, when he had no control over his dreams which Willow haunted.

  He exhaled, the constant battle to do what he knew he should, and what he wanted, was wearing him down, his only hope was when he was married and the baby arrived, his feelings for Willow would diminish. He briefly scanned the pews, wishing he had been able to persuade Sarah to go to the Registry office to get married instead, he was really uncomfortable with all the gossips. He rolled his shoulders, he wanted to protect his future wife and baby from the stresses, but Sarah seemed to want to stand up to it. Sarah told him she always wanted a church marriage and pregnant or not, that is what she would have.

  He sighed and fidgeted, annoyed again. Angry that his longing for Willow hadn’t dimmed over the months, he reminded himself again that he could not, and would not, do anything about it. Sarah deserved him to be faithful to her and he would be. Whatever he wanted did not matter, Sarah and the baby would come first.

  He took a deep breath before he turned around to welcome his future wife, determined not to look in Willow’s direction. His gaze locked onto hers, she was like a magnet to him. Annoyed with himself for searching her out, he tore his gaze away from her; he wasn’t being fair on any of them.

  The church door opened and Sarah’s father walked in, flustered. Hushed murmurs started getting louder around the church, everyone wondering why Sarah wasn’t on his arm. Everyone’s eyes watched Dai Davies make his way towards Tom.

  Dai turned to the Minister, “Can I have a word with Tom privately in the back please?”

  “Of course,” stuttered the Minister, as confused as everyone else.

  Willow watched Mr Davies, Tom, Michael and their Dad make their through to the back. “Emma, I’m going. I shouldn’t have come.” She whispered so only her friend could hear.

  Emma looked at her with knowing eyes, “Okay, I’ll stay and find out. I’ll pop around later.”

  Willow slid off the pew and through the door unnoticed, every ones’ eyes glued to the vestry door.

  ~~~~

  Tom paced back and fore on the already worn carpet in Sarah’s parents’ house. His jaw was clenched nearly as tight as his fists. He forced himself to unwind a little, he needed a clear head to even start working out what had just happened. He studied her, she looked as though she wanted the chair to swallow her up. “Christ Sarah. How could you do this?” He waited and watched, but had no answer. “How could you let it go so far?” He slumped down on the chair opposite, his anger evaporating when he saw her tear streaked face. “Just explain…that is all I ask.” Tom muttered, suddenly feeling very defeated.

  He saw Sarah’s eyes waver when she looked towards him, full with tears. Her hands were fiddling with a lace handkerchief, which he had bought her, and she was still wearing the simple wedding dress she had chosen. The situation was awful.

  “I’m so sorry Tom. I never meant to hurt you. That is why I called off the wedding.” Her hands fidgeted again, her eyes looked towards him, pleading for forgiveness.

  He felt a tug in his heart when he saw how distressed she was, but he still needed to get to the bottom of what had just happened. Her father hadn’t told him anything - just to go to his house as Sarah had something to say to him. While he was leaving the small church, he overheard Dai Davies’ voice telling everyone to go home, there would not be a wedding today.

  He leaned over and put his hands over hers, to stop her fidgeting or for comfort, he didn’t know. “Just start at the beginning Sarah.”

  ~~~~

  “So that just about sums it up.” Tom looked around the kitchen table at his family, all still in their wedding clothes, all silent. Laughter, from the sitting room, broke the stillness. Doris had taken the children away, while the family had a chat.

  Ria was the first to break the hush. “Unbelievable! How could she tell you it was your baby when it wasn’t!” Ria’s voice grew higher in annoyance.

  Morgan patted his wife’s arm. “Darling, it must have
been really hard for Sarah, and she did the right thing in the end, remember.” Ria glared at Morgan, all her instincts making her protect her brother. She knew her husband was right, but she was allowed to be annoyed that Tom had been hurt.

  Meg’s quiet question seemed to fill the room, “Did she tell you who the father is? Is she sure it isn’t yours Tom?”

  Tom looked at his mother, unshed tears in her eyes. His mother’s unhappiness was harder to take than his own. He placed his hand over hers and gave it a squeeze. “Yes, it’s Fred’s baby.”

  “Fred from The Swan?” enquired Evan, who had been silent up until now, sitting with his arm around his wife’s shoulders in support. He was really angry with the whole situation, but he knew rage would not help anyone at the moment, so he kept his wrath to himself, not willing to upset his wife any more than she was already.

  “Always knew he couldn’t be trusted.” Michael muttered, remembering the time that Fred worked at the Red Lion. “Do you want me to go around a break his other leg?” he added sarcastically.

  Tom huffed. “No, I think I would like to do that myself.” He looked around the table at his younger siblings. Sam, who had spent the whole time looking at some spot on the floor, was looking uncomfortable. Anne, on the other hand, looked as though she was enjoying the scandal. Tom inwardly sighed, well if either of them learned a lesson from all this, at least a positive had come out of the mess. Tom started the story quietly and unhurriedly, so hopefully all questions would be answered. “Sarah started seeing Fred after we broke up. She told me she was heartbroken when we split and went out with him on the rebound.” Tom watched his mother pour some more tea in the empty cups. He smiled ruefully at his mother’s perception that tea, somehow, made things better. He continued. “When she found out she was pregnant, she told him, but he told her to get rid of it.”

  Evan suddenly sat back in his seat, annoyed, “Scum!” Michael nodded his head in agreement.