Twelve Days of Love

by Tess MacKall

  * * * * *

  Countdown: Day Two

  Two nights without Eden had played hell with Nick’s disposition. He growled and barked at anyone who approached him. She wouldn’t even talk to him on the phone. Yesterday, out of sheer desperation, after work he’d driven over and found the shop door locked. He’d seen her in the workroom stuffing flowers in a vase. But when he knocked, she’d looked up, walked over to the workroom door and closed it.

  Male ego should’ve taken over and prevented him from doing something stupid like chasing after a woman who didn’t want him. However, it was ego that caused this stupid problem in the first place—Eden’s wounded ego. For all her strength, she hadn’t moved on from the immature games played in high school. What did he need to do to make her see how beautiful and desirable she really was?

  She’d never discussed it with him, but something told him she’d been hurt, reinforcing what she’d experienced in high school and cementing her belief that she wasn’t worthy. He’d spent the past two years examining his own beliefs. Her accusing him of not knowing his own heart and mind had hit below the belt.

  Damn, he regretted his last words to her.

  He hadn’t wanted to bother Maggie with any of it, but it looked as if he had no choice. Tonight he was going over to the house and would see Eden one way or another. Hopefully, sometime between now and then he’d figure out a way to show Eden how beautiful he thought she was and to trust him.

  Yeah, and pigs can fly too!

  Eden glanced at the clock. Noon. She felt as though she’d already been working for ten hours straight. She’d hoped that the hustle and bustle of Valentine’s Day business would keep her mind off Nick. Not a chance. Customers had to repeat their orders to her because she constantly zoned out of their conversations and into thoughts of Nick. Basically, she’d accused him of being untrustworthy and shallow. And that wasn’t Nick at all. Deep down she knew that.

  He wasn’t the one stuck in the past. It was her.

  For all her high ideals, she’d allowed something as petty as looks to stand in the way of happiness. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get past it. Nick deserved better than a woman who didn’t believe in herself. They didn’t stand a chance if she was always looking over her shoulder and wondering if he wanted someone else. If that Mandy person hadn’t come along, she’d still be with him. But you couldn’t live your life in a vacuum. One way or another, her insecurities would have found a way to the surface.

  And it was better to know that now, rather than later when it was too late.

  Hell, who was she kidding? It was already too late.

  At least Nick didn’t have to suffer. Oh god. Truth be told, she wanted him to suffer. Wouldn’t that prove he loved her? I need to get hold of myself. I’m acting crazy. Stupid and childish. It was eight days. A whirlwind romance. That was all. Nothing more. What she felt wasn’t real. And what he thought he felt wasn’t real either. In a few days everything would be back to normal.

  And she’d be alone. Again.

  * * * * *

  Wheeling her Tahoe into the driveway at home, Eden clicked the garage door opener. The big white door refused to budge. Eden groaned, put the SUV into park and got out, shouldering her tote bag. The remote probably needed new batteries. She’d deal with it tomorrow, Sunday, her usual day off. But since it was Valentine’s Day, she’d planned to keep the shop open for down-to-the-wire lovers.

  As Eden stepped through the door she heard her mother talking to someone. She set her tote on the foyer table and walked into the living room to say hello. Sitting next to her mom on the sofa was Nick. The moment he saw her he stood.

  “I didn’t see your car outside,” Eden said.

  “I was afraid if you spotted it you’d keep driving,” he responded.

  “Well, at least I don’t have to buy new batteries for the garage remote now.”

  Eden’s mother boosted herself from the sofa with Nick’s help. “Sweetheart, you and Nick need to talk. I’m going to give you some privacy.”

  Eden waited until her mother had gone down the hall and closed her bedroom door before she spoke. “I’m glad you’re here, Nick. I owe you an apology.”

  He looked relieved. His handsome features softened. Dressed in a light blue sweater and black jeans, he was especially striking today. More than anything, Eden wanted to feel the warmth of his arms around her.

  “Honey, you don’t owe me an apology.”

  “Yes, I do. You’re a wonderful man, Nick. I’ve always misjudged you. You’ve been a good friend to me. And I want you to be happy. I can’t make you happy, Nick. You were right about my insecurities.”

  He took a few steps toward her then stopped, seemingly hesitant to come any closer. Eden realized she’d done that to him. Made him fearful of being near her. She’d screamed at him like a banshee. How could she blame him?

  “Eden, we’re all insecure about something.”

  “Not you, Nick. You’re the most confident person I’ve ever known.”

  “That’s not true. I’m standing here without an ounce of confidence. This is the most important conversation I’ll ever have in my entire life. The outcome means everything to me. And I’m terrified of not being up to the job.”

  “I can’t be hurt again, Nick.”

  “Who hurt you, Eden?”

  “I did. For believing when I shouldn’t have. Wishing for something I could never have. And I almost did it again—with you. ”

  “I don’t know who he was but he was a fool. I’m not perfect by anyone’s measuring stick but I’m no fool either. If you’ll recall, I’m the one who started this relationship, forced the issue. Do you think I’d do that just to hurt you down the road?”

  “No. You’d never intentionally hurt me, but it would happen nonetheless.”

  “All because you’re not a size two.”

  “I’ve discovered over the past couple of days that it’s not as simple as that, but yes, that’s a good analogy.”

  “I know a bit about self-image myself, Eden. I spent years trying to be perfect. Do you think my ex is happy? She spent eleven years living a lie with me because she thought that was what she was supposed to do. We’d go out to dinner and all she’d eat was a damn salad. She killed what little we had between us because she was worried about gaining weight during pregnancy. She couldn’t even share her love because of her warped self-image. You’re smarter than that, Eden. Perfection is nothing more than what people think you should be. Real perfection is just being happy with who you are. And when I’m with you I’m the happiest man alive. I’m not looking for a stick woman with fake breasts. I’m looking for you. A woman with soft curves, natural; a woman who wants me just the way I am too. A woman who isn’t afraid to grow old with me.”

  Eden averted her gaze, fearful Nick would see the tears pooling in her eyes. He might be happy now, but what about a few weeks down the road? How could she hold his interest forever? And forever was exactly what she wanted. If she thought there was the slightest chance he truly loved her…

  “I’m not going to pressure you, honey. I know I make you happy. You just need to find your way to me. I can’t do it for you. So I’m going to issue another challenge. Because my Eden is always up for a challenge.”

  She looked at him from the corner of her eye.

  “I want you to think about us tonight. I want you to remember how I held you, made love to you. Remember the things I said to you. But more than that, think about the kind of person you are. What life really means to you. Dig deep. Tomorrow is Day One. I’ll be outside the florist shop, where it all started, waiting for you at eight o’clock sharp. I left a gift for you on the bed in case you decide we’re worth the effort. If you don’t show, I won’t bother you again. This is our chance at happiness, Eden.”

  He covered the distance between them to stand inches from her. Eden looked up into his sad green eyes. She’d never been more conflicted in her life. Reaching over, he strummed his fi
ngers softly across her cheek.

  “I want to kiss you. Make you melt into my arms, but that won’t fix this. You have to come to me this time, honey. I’ve gone as far as I can. Now all I can do is wait. The choice is yours. And I’m betting you’ll figure out that you’re as beautiful and deserving of love as I know you are.”

  His hand fell to his side and he gave her an encouraging smile. Without another word, he walked into the foyer. Once Eden heard the door shut, she let the tears roll down her cheeks.

  Chapter Nine

  Eden stood in front of her bedroom door for the longest time. A part of her wanted to run after Nick and smother him with kisses, to tell him she knew how foolish she was and ask his forgiveness. But another part of her, the part that was scared and unsure, wouldn’t let her. She couldn’t be the kind of woman he deserved to have in his life.

  How was she going to live without him?

  Almost afraid of what she’d see, Eden eased the bedroom door open. On top of the pink comforter lay two Valentine-themed gift bags with red and white tissue paper plumed from their tops. She sniffled and wiped the tears from her eyes with her knuckles.

  “Why did he do this?”

  There was just no end to his thoughtfulness. And all she seemed able to do was be suspicious of his motives. If he wanted to play games with a woman, he could do that with anyone. Why single her out? It made no sense, of course, and it all came down to her. Nick wasn’t the problem—she was.

  A soft knock forced Eden from her thoughts. She turned to find her mother standing in the doorway. She came over and wrapped her arms around Eden. Shedding a few more tears while her mother rubbed her back, Eden wondered if it was possible to do what Nick asked. When you’ve spent a lifetime building walls, tearing them down in just one night seemed like a mighty tall order—insurmountable.

  “So what’s it going to be, Eden?”

  Eden lifted her head from her mother’s shoulder. “He told you about his ultimatum?”

  “I wouldn’t call it an ultimatum, sweetie. Maybe just something to make you think. And yes, he told me. I went shopping with him to help pick out some things.”

  “You went—” Eden backed away and sat on the bed. “I realize you like him, Mom, but where is your loyalty to me?”

  “Loyalty? Oh sweetheart. You really are in a bad place. Do you think of this as some sort of war? Eden, Nick is a wonderful man who loves you. And I think you love him too. I see that whether you do or not. Think of me as Cupid.”

  “I didn’t mean to question your motives, Mom. I’m just so mixed up and don’t even know why. I mean, any woman would jump at the chance to have someone like Nick interested in her. And God knows I’ve probably loved him for years, but…”

  Her mother smiled and nodded. “I thought so. You’ve always mooned over him. The timing wasn’t right before but there’s nothing stopping you now.”

  “Nothing is stopping us? Nothing could be further from the truth. In New York I dated some. Not a lot, but some. I kept getting dumped, Mom. The last relationship really did a number on me. I know that’s a part of this. I see it. How can I find my way around it?”

  Her mother smiled, sat next to Eden and patted her hand. “What is your heart telling you?”

  “To run.”

  “So you won’t get hurt again. I understand that.” Her mom took a deep breath. “Honey, I’ve never told you this, but I think it will help. Do you remember when you were in sixth grade? Your father had been gone a little over a year by then, God rest his soul. There was a man who came into the shop once in a while and finally one day he asked me to dinner.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. We started dating, something I kept hidden from you, and I felt alive again. Your father’s death and trying to make ends meet financially had taken over and I had nothing left it seemed. Of course, I had you and that meant everything, but I’m talking about the part of me that needed to feel beautiful and wanted—like a woman. Well, after a few months, he informed me he was relocating because of his job and told me goodbye. I thought we were in love, but I was just a stop in the road to him.”

  “Oh Mom. I’m so sorry. Why did you keep it from me?”

  “Oh hon, it’s all right. It hurt like hell at the time, though, believe me. I kept the relationship from you because you were so little and I had to make sure that he was going to be right not just for me but for us. Understand?”

  Eden nodded. “Yeah, I see where you’d do that. I guess any mother would.”

  “Exactly. And as it turned out I was right. He wasn’t for us, was he?”

  “No. Any man who’d do that to you wasn’t worth the effort.”

  “Which is one of my reasons for telling you all this now. Any man who would hurt you, Eden, isn’t worth the effort of your tears. Save those for times of loss or better yet, save them for times of joy. And then there’s my other reason. I let my hurt stand in the way of ever trying again. I get lonely, Eden. Don’t shut love out because you met the wrong one before you met the right one.”

  Her mother stood, kissed Eden’s cheek and walked to the door. “How about soup and salad tonight?”

  “Sounds good, Mom. I’ll be out in a bit. Think I’m going to take a shower.”

  “And don’t forget to take a look at Nick’s gifts. Okay?”

  “Maybe after the shower.”

  Shaking her head, her mother walked out. Eden glanced over at the packages and frowned. Why did life have to be so hard?

  * * * * *

  The packages were still unopened on the bed staring back at Eden from the reflection of the vanity mirror like the big pimple that had popped up on her chin the morning of her first date. Why was it that everything appeared related to high school lately?

  “Maybe because you got the grades and Jenna got the guy,” she said to the mirror. “And you know why she got the guy too.”

  Or did she?

  It was time to get this over with. She jumped from the vanity chair and strode over to the bed. From the smaller bag she retrieved a shoebox. He bought me a pair of shoes? Lifting the lid she discovered a pair of red satin heels embroidered with rhinestones. Very elegant—sexy too.

  Eden grabbed the other bag, which was much heavier, and peeked inside. Nestled amongst the tissue paper was some sort of fabric. Reaching inside, she pulled the fabric out, unfolding a gorgeous length of red velvet trimmed in a wide matching red satin hem and embroidered with what appeared to be hand-stitched beadwork. It was a gorgeous stole. But why would he give her a pair of shoes and a stole? What was he thinking?

  “You sure took your sweet time, didn’t you?”

  Eden’s head whipped around to her mother. “I told you I was going to shower first.” She shook her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t get this, Mom. What am I supposed to do with this—if I do anything.”

  “I’m glad to hear you’ve progressed to the ‘if’ stage, at least. And you’re supposed to wear them tomorrow night. Along with the dress.”

  “What dress?”

  “Follow me, sweetie.”

  Her mother turned and headed down the hall with Eden close behind. “I hung it up in the dining room.”

  “Why not just put it in my room?”

  Her mother laughed. “Because you need to be eased into things, that’s why. I know you. One look and you’d have bolted.”

  “Is the dress that bad? You said you were with him. Oh my god. I’m thinking about wearing it, aren’t I?”

  Her mom glanced over her shoulder. “Yes, you are. And the dress will speak for itself.”

  With one push, her mother held the dining room door open. Eden’s gaze shot straight to the magical display on the wall across the room. She gasped, her hands flying to her chest. Never had she seen anything so beautiful. Tears welled in her eyes and she was shaking.

  “You gonna stand there gawking or say something?”

  “Oh Mom. It’s…it’s breathtaking.”

&nb
sp; “Sure is.”

  The amazing red silk-and-satin ball gown featured a formfitting asymmetrical bodice trimmed in silver-beaded lace embroidery. Its full skirt carried an apron-like drape that gathered at the side into a flowery twist. The same beaded-lace embroidery peppered the skirt.

  “This is unbelievable. Where would I wear such a thing?”

  “Beats me, Eden. I went with him to the formalwear store and he saw this and had to have it. He said it was you.”

  “And you didn’t try to stop him? I mean it’s so damn beautiful but—oh, hell. What am I thinking? I’m not wearing it. I’m not going. This is all ridiculous.”

  “I wish you could have seen his eyes when he saw this dress. I knew he was imagining you wearing it, Eden.”

  “More crazy dreams. I’m hungry. Let’s have that soup.” Eden pushed through the door leading to the kitchen, leaving the dress behind but not far from her thoughts—and most certainly not leaving thoughts of Nick behind.

  * * * * *

  Valentine’s Day

  Nick crawled out of bed the next morning and stumbled to the shower. He’d had way too much whiskey the night before. The last time he’d had that much to drink was the night he’d discovered Jenna’s birth control pills.

  He turned on the taps and stood beneath the steady, hot flow of water, hoping some of the stiffness in his muscles would loosen. At least he didn’t have to go to work today. No way would he be able to handle the dozens of problems that would inevitably crop up. Not with a hangover. And sure as hell not with the balance of his life sitting in the palm of Eden’s hand.

  Smacking his hand against the tiled shower wall, he cussed. “God damn it!”

  Had he really meant what he’d said to her last night? Could he just walk away if she didn’t show up? There was nothing wrong with pride, but if pride stood in the way of all your hopes and dreams…

  Yeah, he’d meant it. He could no more force Eden to love him than he could force himself to love Jenna. What a fucked-up life he’d been living. One woman hadn’t loved him at all and the other refused to take a chance at love. All he really knew for sure was that he loved Eden. Loved her more than life and would do anything for her.