What Emma Craves

by Amanda Abbott

  Emma readied herself quickly and slung her purse over her shoulder. As she locked up, she thought about all the things she wanted to talk to Piper about. Emma needed her advice. She’d been happy when Piper had agreed to meet her without the other girls. Emma wanted to talk privately first, before she shared her issues with the group. She absolutely loved being included in Piper’s inner circle. The STD happy hours, which stood for Sexual Therapy for Deviants, were the absolute best. The girls got together regularly and discussed sex, and subsequently laughed until their sides hurt. These meetings were one of the best things to happen to Emma in a long time. They were a blessing, really. She knew Caroline and Gillian would be eager to contribute their own advice, and Emma was looking forward to it.

  When you chose to live in the “lifestyle,” it was isolating. The topic never came up in casual conversation with anyone.

  For obvious reasons.

  If parents of her students ever found out she was a “swinger,” for lack of a better term, she could lose her business in a heartbeat. This lifestyle, to lots of folks, was considered perverted. Many would think that Emma’s “sexual deviation” would somehow trickle down to their children through some kind of unseen osmosis. It was a completely uneducated view of sex, and love as a whole, but there was nothing Emma could do about it except keep quiet around anyone but her friends.

  Emma had embraced herself and her choices long ago, and had lived in the lifestyle happily until recently. Being able to talk to Piper, Caroline, and Gillian about her new indecisions was like breathing in new air.

  She made the quick drive over to The Brick House, a local bar that served specialty pizza. Piper had suggested it, and Emma had readily agreed. Pizza was one of her faves.

  When she pulled in she spotted Piper’s car already parked in the lot and smiled. Emma got out, locking her car as she went with the handy fob, and headed toward the entrance.

  Piper was seated at a high table in the bar with two drinks already in front of her. She slid off her stool, giving Emma a quick hug. “Dude, it’s two-for-one for the next fifteen minutes. You have to get your order in.” Piper effortlessly hopped back on her barstool. “Beer and rails. I took the liberty of ordering us a small deep-dish pizza and some cheesy garlic bread. They were both on the happy-hour menu, and the waitress said the pizza was killer.”

  “Anything is fine with me. That sounds perfect.” Emma took her seat, looping her purse around the hook on the wall next to her. “I’m so glad you could meet me tonight. Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

  “Of course,” Piper answered, her face happy and radiant as usual. “You sounded kind of distressed, so I made it a top priority.”

  “You picked that up over texts?” Emma chuckled. “That’s fairly intuitive of you.”

  “It wasn’t that hard. You must’ve said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ four different times in as many texts. What’s up?” Piper asked as she picked up her glass.

  “Nothing and everything,” Emma said, trying not to sound too miserable. “It’s probably just me going through some PMS thing, but I’m feeling unhappy and uncertain in my sex life. Seeing you so utterly transform your relationship with Michael has been an amazing thing to witness, and subsequently it’s caused me to do a lot of soul searching in my own marriage—in a good way. It’s highlighted the positives, but also the negatives.”

  “So we’re here to discuss those negatives?” Piper set her glass down. “You’ve hinted at being unhappy before. And I was right there with you, not so long ago. I understand where you’re at, even without hearing all the details, and I can tell you right now, I’m advocating for you to change things up. If you can, the payoff will be sweeter than you know. This lifestyle is a hard act to balance, and we don’t always want the status quo, and it’s okay to change our minds. Sometimes we’re just searching for a different flavor. Or a cookie instead of a cracker. That’s my favorite analogy to date. A big, fat Double Stuf Oreo instead of a dry wheat cracker.”

  “That’s just it.” Emma leaned forward, her hands gripping the edge of the table. “I don’t know what I want or how to shake things up. That’s why I’m here. I’m kind of in this wallowing stage. I know I’m unhappy, but I don’t exactly know why. Pete and I have been doing the same things for years, and it’s never bothered me before—”

  “Can I ask you something?” Piper interrupted. “Do you love Pete?”

  “Yes! Of course I do!” Emma felt almost taken aback by the question. “He’s my person, there’s no question about it. He’s my tall, blond surfer boy. I salivate every time I see him. That’s why this is so hard! I love him with all my heart and I want to stay married. I enjoy our life together—yet lately there’s something lacking. But it’s that something I can’t put my finger on. That’s why I wanted to talk to you about it first, before I share it with everyone else. I know the other girls are going to be eager to help, and I’m sure they’ll give me great advice. But when I can’t even articulate what I need, it doesn’t make sense to share it with the group. I’d just sound like a bigger bumbling idiot than I do right now.”

  “You’re not an idiot.” Piper picked up her drink and swirled it. “From what you just said, decision number one is an easy one: Stay married to Pete at all costs. That helps the direction you need to head in. If you weren’t happy with Pete, and wanted to explore other avenues, this would be a much different conversation. And I totally get wanting to talk to me alone. You’re a private person, Emma. There’s nothing wrong with that. But in order for you to figure out what you need, you’re going to have to step out of your comfort zone a little bit and do some more soul searching. I predict you’re not going to love everything you find. Do you think you’re ready for that?”

  “Yes, I’m very ready.” Emma arched her brow. “But how are you so sure I won’t like what I find?”

  Piper rested her elbows on the table. “It’s not so much that you won’t like it, but you might have to go outside what’s normal and comfortable for you to fix it, which can be scary. I know that firsthand. You gave me great insight not too long ago. You saw Michael and me from an outside perspective, and because of that, you were able to break things down, including the shocker that my husband wasn’t really into our previous swap gatherings. Well, I can do the same for you now. It’s much easier to analyze someone else rather than take a good look at yourself, don’t you think?”

  Emma nodded. “I totally agree. So what do you see?” Emma was eager to hear.

  “Before I start, I have to tell you that I believe you’re totally Pete’s person, too. So don’t be worried about that. Every time we’ve ever been with you guys, the way he looks at you, and brings up your dancing, and touches you, and everything else—I can clearly see he’s totally in love with you. Let’s get that out of the way first.”

  “It’s good to know that our love is apparent.” Emma smiled. She already knew Pete loved her.

  “The interesting thing about you has always been your willingness to please him and everyone else around you. You go out of your way to make sure everyone is comfortable and fully satisfied when they leave.” Piper winked. “I don’t have to go into detail about how you do that, because you already know, but you’re extremely talented at giving and making sure everyone is always happy.”

  Emma blushed as the waitress came up to the table. “Can I get you anything? It’s last call for happy hour.”

  “Whatever light beer you have on tap is fine,” Emma told her.

  “Got it,” the waitress said. “Do you guys want to order any more food before the happy-hour menu ends?”

  “No, we’re good,” Piper answered. The waitress left, and Piper picked up where she left off. “What you have is a natural gift for people pleasing, and that’s likely utterly gorgeous.”

  “Oh, please,” Emma said, swishing her hand. “You guys are the beautiful ones. Well, Pete is gorgeous, at least to me, with his blue eyes and dimpled smile. But I’m average.”
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br />   “Dude, have you looked in the mirror lately?” Piper gasped. “You can’t seriously think you’re average. That creamy, perfect skin coupled with that hair? You’re a fine-looking woman. But, honestly”—her voice dropped as the waitress passed by—“I’ve never seen you use what you’ve got. Not in all the times we’ve been with you.”

  “What do you mean?” Emma said.

  “I mean you don’t strut,” Piper said, her voice firm.

  “Strut?”

  “Yes. Strut. Like, show off, wiggle your ass, flaunt what you’ve got. You’re always very demure and put together. You’re never cocky. You never put on the ‘I know you want to fuck me’ airs. Why is that? You’re totally beautiful. You could if you wanted to.”

  Emma was genuinely puzzled. “Um, I have no idea? I guess it’s just not my personality.” She gave a noncommittal shrug.

  “It’s not you, or not Pete?” Piper cocked her head.

  Emma thought about it as the waitress set down her two beers. She picked one up and took a long swallow, going over it in her mind.

  Piper scooted her chair closer, the legs scraping the floor, her face animated. “Tell me this. How old were you when you met Pete?”

  “Twenty-one.”

  “Was he your first love?”

  “Oh, yes,” Emma answered readily. “I’d had other relationships before him, but when I met Pete it was like worlds collided and I saw stars. It was love at first sight for me. I know how corny that sounds, but that’s how I felt.”

  Piper nodded. “That makes so much sense. And you were so young. How old are you now, twenty-six?”

  “Just turned twenty-seven.”

  “Before Pete, did you ever strut?”

  Emma thought back on it. “Yes, I guess I did. I definitely strutted to try to catch Pete’s eye. I totally remember that!” She giggled. “I must’ve walked by him a million times tossing my hair and wiggling my ass. The very first time I saw him was in a bar, and there were girls all over him. I had to work hard to get him to notice me.”

  “And how else did you get his attention, besides tossing your hair and wiggling your ass?”

  “Honestly, I did everything I could think of,” Emma replied. “I had no shame. I basically clawed my way through the other girls to stand next to him. I bought him drinks. I wore the skimpiest clothes I could find. I wasn’t above trying anything.”

  “See?” Piper said excitedly. “Now we’re getting somewhere. Why do you think Pete ultimately chose you over the other girls?”

  “Because I was persistent?”

  “Bullshit.” Piper chortled. “Excuse my French, but I’d bet my house you were more genuine and sweeter than any of his usual hangers-on. He picked you because you’re you! Beautiful and kind.”

  Emma looked skeptical. “Maybe, or maybe because he knew I wouldn’t give up until he asked me out, so he finally gave in?”

  “Yeah, right. On a related note, why did you stop being that girl? The one who would stop at nothing to get a man to look at her? Most women keep preening, especially for their girlfriends—which is why most of us still dress up once we’re married.”

  Emma glanced around, surveying the other women in the room, then glanced down at her simple outfit of jeans and a white T-shirt. “I guess I hadn’t realized I’d stopped.” She met Piper’s gaze. “Damn, you should charge by the hour. This is intense.” She picked up her beer.

  “Well, you’re the one who wanted to get to the bottom of it, and dude, I think we’re almost there. Seriously, why did you stop wanting people to notice you?”

  Emma shook her head. “I think I stopped because once we were a pair I didn’t want Pete to get jealous if other men noticed me. I am a pleaser at heart. Pete and our relationship became my top priority very quickly, so even without his asking I must’ve toned it down. But on the flip side, it never bothered me, nor was I really aware I was doing it. I just wanted us both to be blissfully happy together.”

  “Pete couldn’t really be the jealous type if you guys ultimately decided to share your bed with others.”

  “We did decide to share it,” Emma admitted, “but it’s always been in controlled situations with firm rules in place, so there was no real room for jealousy.”

  “Controlled by who? By Pete?”

  “In the beginning, I think.” She hesitated, setting her drink down. “It’s hard to remember exactly. But what we do now is completely mutual. I wouldn’t stay with someone who tried to control or manipulate me. He loves me, and we are in this as a team.”

  “I’m not saying you would. You have a very strong backbone.” Piper smiled. “Maybe ‘controlled’ is the wrong word. I don’t mean to imply that Pete is abusive in any way. Let’s try this a different way. Whose idea was it to invite another person into your bedroom the first time?”

  Emma bit her lip. “It was Pete.”

  “And you were fine with it?”

  “I was hesitant at first, but once we did it, I thought it was great. Everyone had such a good time, and the haze of really good sex lasted for days. I know you know what I’m talking about. We were blissed out for days, horny and satisfied all at the same time. We couldn’t get enough of each other.”

  “I do know that feeling, and I’m sure everyone had a blast. I’m also sure it was because you helped facilitate it by being your nice, generous self.” Piper chuckled. “I can almost imagine the scene. Two young, nubile twenty-one-year-olds in the quest for extreme pleasure.”

  “That might be true. I might’ve kept the balance and made everyone feel good. But that’s also when I realized my sexual trigger was the art of sex. The sex act is so sensual and beautiful. I adore seeing it performed on everyone, and watching everyone enjoy the stark pleasure of it all gives me goose bumps.” She rubbed her arms. “It’s my thing.”

  “I know it is, but,” Piper pointed out, “you guys don’t attend orgies. From my now intimate experience”—she cocked an eyebrow and whistled out of the side of her mouth, making Emma giggle—“that’s the height of witnessing the sex act. Everyone is there to seek ultimate pleasure. Why haven’t you guys ever gone to one?”

  Emma was at a loss. “I don’t know.” She thought back to discussions she’d had with Pete and came up short. “We’ve always liked being in control, so orgies have never been our thing.”

  “Aha!” Piper announced in a mock sardonic tone, holding up her finger. “We’re back to the control issue again. But you’re about to change all that. You realize that, right?”

  “How so?”

  “This is the comfort-zone thing I was talking about. Your trip to the Bahamas is the perfect place to start. The timing couldn’t be better.”

  “I’m not getting it. What do you mean?”

  “Emma, you’re going to learn to strut again. You’re going to wiggle that beautiful ass and move those incredible hips until everyone there—including random folks who might stroll by on the beach—want to fuck you three ways from Saturday.”

  “Okay.” Emma hesitated, suppressing a giggle that was bubbling up. “And why am I going to do that?”

  Piper leaned forward. “Because you’re going to shake Pete up for all he’s worth.”

  Emma nodded along. “Okay, I can see where you’re heading. You want me to start making my husband jealous.”

  “Yes, exactly. Because a jealous Pete will be a doting Pete. Your man is going to rediscover the amazing prize he has right in front of him—the one he’s inadvertently taken for granted for too long. That’s what you’re missing, Emma.” She set her hands on the table. “You’re missing your self-worth.”

  3

  __________________________

  ____________

  Pete arrived home to an empty house. He’d been looking forward to seeing Emma and having a nice dinner together. He was still reeling a little from their sexual encounter last week. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. But Emma had texted him that she was meeting Piper for dinner. So instead he’d worked l
ate and picked up Chinese takeout on the way home.

  It was nine forty-five. He set the food on the counter and took a plate out of the cupboard, along with some spoons from the drawer to dish everything out. Before he could dig in, there was a knock on the sliding glass doors.

  He glanced up and saw Candace standing on the deck.

  She gave him a small wave.

  Pete gestured to her. “Come on in,” he called. “It’s open.” Over the years, Candace had stopped by on a few occasions, but usually only when Emma was home.

  “Hi there,” she chirped as she came in. “I hope I’m not disturbing you. I just saw you drive up and thought I’d come by and say hi.”

  Pete tried to keep his puzzlement to himself. “I’m just about to eat dinner. Chinese takeout. Would you care for any? I have more than enough.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I’m stuffed. I ate a late dinner myself.” She strolled to the island and perched on a stool. For the first time, Pete saw she held a glass of wine in her hand.

  She must think Emma was home. “Emma’s not here at the moment. I’m not sure when she’ll be back,” Pete said. “But you’re welcome to wait for her.”

  “Oh, that’s okay,” she answered smoothly. “I’m not here for her.” She gave him a saucy smile and took a long swallow of her wine.

  This time it was surprise Pete tried to keep off his face.

  This was so out of the blue.

  Candace was a good-looking fortysomething, but no one he’d ever consider inviting into his and Emma’s bedroom. Pete knew Emma felt the same way. He was positive Emma had never shared their lifestyle choice with Candace either, so it would be almost impossible for her to have figured out what they did behind closed doors.

  Pete decided not to touch the insinuation. Instead, he asked, “How are Kyle and the kids? I haven’t seen them around in a while.”

  Candace took another long drink of her wine. “Kyle’s been gone for almost three weeks.” She set the glass down slowly. “He’s supposed to be coming home Thursday, in time for the block party, but we’ll see if he shows. The kids have been spending most of the time at their mother’s. She just moved back into the neighborhood, after winning another lawsuit for more spousal support.” She mumbled the next bit under her breath. “Because now the bitch can afford it.” She glanced up at Pete and plastered a smile back on her face. “She says it’s so the kids can easily get to our house and school from her house, but I know her, she relishes the fact she took Kyle for more money and won. She celebrates with a big party every time she wins.”