But today he had a meeting with one of his biggest cattle buyers, and the man was known to be possessive with his time. If the asshole wasn’t more generous with his wallet than his watch, Finn would have already severed ties with him, but as it stood, their business arrangement was lucrative and not one Finn wanted to lose. Finn soaped up and washed off, wishing Ava was in the stall with him so he could feel that wondrous skin under his palms one more time. Kiss her sweet mouth again and leave her lips swollen and raw as a remembrance of just how good they were together.
Within thirty minutes, he was showered, dried, dressed, and packed. There was little left to do except say goodbye.
With his heart aching, Finn closed the curtains so the approaching dawn would remain at bay. By the time Ava woke properly, he would be high in the sky, with miles between them. That time didn’t need to come any sooner than it had to.
Denim stretched over his thighs as he crouched beside the bed and cupped her face. So sweet, so innocent. He wouldn’t leave her here any longer than he had to, he vowed. The moment she was sure she wanted to leave D.C. and discover what he could offer her in Montana, he was coming back for her.
“Ava,” he crooned softly.
Nothing. Not even a twitch of her slim fingers.
“Ava,” he said again, running his thumb over the soft plumpness of her lips. He loved her mouth, the eagerness with which she kissed him. The mouth capable of felling him to his knees when she begged him to fuck her. “Ava, baby, I need you to wake up for a few minutes.”
Her eyelashes fluttered first, then her feet moved under the covers. He was sorely tempted to crawl back in there and wake her thoroughly. “F-Finn?”
So sleepy. Yeah, he’d have no issues rousing her every morning at dawn before he slipped out to start his day. The thought had him hardening swiftly. “It’s me, little dove. You can go back to sleep in a minute, okay? Just listen to me for a second.”
“Still dark?”
“Not for long, little dove. It’s still early, but I have to go. I’ve made arrangements for you to stay here until tomorrow, so I want you to get as much sleep as you want. If you need anything, you call room service and order whatever you like.” He ran his fingers through her hair as her head rolled toward him. “I meant what I said, Ava. This isn’t goodbye, not at all.”
Blue eyes widened. “You’re leaving?”
“For now. I want nothing more than to take you with me, little dove. I mean that. What we have, we don’t find it every day. That damn roulette wheel brought us together last night and I’m not prepared to throw that opportunity away.”
He could see her brain struggling to process his words, exhaustion battling with lucidity. Still, it didn’t stop her from trying to sit up. “Give me five minutes, I can be dressed and ready to go.”
“Not today, little dove. I shredded your dress, remember? I’ll make sure some clothes are sent up for you. Use one of the hotel robes if you need to—they’re almost as soft as your skin.” He stroked a fingertip down her cheek. “Take today, recharge your batteries. What I’m asking you to do isn’t something you should decide on a whim,” he told her with a sad smile.
“What are you asking me?” she shot back, clutching at his hand as he set it on her thigh.
“I want to make a life with you, Ava. In Montana. It’s a rough life, it’s hard work, but it’s breathtaking and beautiful. I think you’d like it, I honestly do, but it’s something you need to think long and hard about. Whether you can live with country life, without the perks of city living.” Damn it, tears were shimmering, ready to spill. “No, little dove, there’s no need to cry. None at all. I know what I want, without a doubt. I just have to know this is a decision that won’t ruin the rest of your life.”
His time was running out. Any moment now, his phone would chirp with a message from Arthur, asking him if he was in transit. His pilot would already be going through the safety checks on the plane, ready to take off as soon as Finn’s ass hit his seat and his belt was buckled.
“Think about it, Ava. Pros and cons. Talk to Rosie and get a second opinion. I couldn’t forgive myself if we rushed into this and it wasn’t truly what you wanted.” Goddamn it, did Arthur have nothing better to do than annoy him? Finn yanked his phone from his pocket and silenced it as it trilled yet again. Irritated, he shoved it back where it came from. “You have my card, little dove, if you need me. I’ll make a point of calling you every day. Just remember what I said about cutting yourself—if I hear you’ve hurt yourself again, there will be consequences.”
That lush lower lip quivered. “How…how long will you be gone?”
Shit, he hadn’t put a time limit on it. How could he? How much time did a decision like this take? For the first time in forever, he found himself in a position of uncertainty. He didn’t have all the answers. “If I don’t hear from you in the next two weeks with an answer, I’ll take it as a sign, Ava. I’ll understand.”
Her whole demeanor changed. Ava closed her eyes and drew in a long, slow breath. He didn’t know how much effort it took to battle back her tears, but when she looked at him again with those guileless blue eyes, the gold flecks muted in the dim light, she was more composed. “You already have my answer, Sir. You’re just too fucking stubborn to accept it.”
Oh, he’d made her mad. He got the impression she didn’t swear too often, only in passion or in temper, and she certainly wasn’t radiating fuck me vibes right now. “Someone’s feathers are ruffled, aren’t they, little dove? If your answer is the same in two weeks,” he warned gently, lifting his hand to wrap his fingers around her neck, “there’ll be a collar right where my fingers are. Then there’s no going back for either of us. Understand?”
The defiance dissipated, her eyes dilating. “Absolutely, Master Finnegan.”
“Fuck, you know how to push my buttons, Ava. Every fucking time.” His phone vibrated angrily; Finn was tempted to hurl the damn contraption across the room. Schedule or not, he was damn well taking these moments with Ava whether Arthur approved, or he didn’t. “Now kiss me goodbye and make it good. I want to feel these lips imprinted on mine for the next two weeks.”
She didn’t hesitate. Her arms locked around his neck, using him as an anchor to launch herself at him. When she almost sent him toppling backwards, Finn surged to his feet, gripping her waist and hauling her out of bed as their mouths met.
She kissed him as though it was the last time they’d see each other. Kissed him as though the fate of the world rested on this moment. The ferocity of her passion astounded him, and Finn actively questioned the wisdom of his own decision to return to Montana without her.
Her lithe, naked form plastered against him like she couldn’t bear to let him go. He loved the shape of her in his hands, the silkiness of her skin beneath his rough touch.
Maybe he was a fool, but love was a fool’s game, after all.
Reaching the point of either walking away with the mother of all erections straining his jeans or sending his entire day tumbling into the fiery pits of Arthur’s wrath by fucking Ava senseless, Finn eased her away.
Lips swollen and red, her eyes bright with arousal, Ava moaned in protest.
“I know, little dove. Trust me, this isn’t how I intended to leave things.” It took supreme effort on his part to wrangle her back into bed and pull the covers over her tempting form. But he tucked her in and kissed her sweetly, much to his cock’s disapproval. “Call me later so I know you’re awake and okay. Gonna miss you something fierce.”
Ava reached out and gripped his hand. “Thank you, Finn, for everything. I’ll be ready and waiting when you come back. I’ll miss you too.”
Finn swore ripely as his phone kicked off again. He could all but hear Arthur bitching from across the city. “Two weeks, Ava. Be my good girl.”
Before he could change his mind, Finn kissed her fingers and set her hand down. He daren’t risk a last glance at her as he walked away and picked up his travel bag; he wouldn’t
make it out of the room if he did.
As the door closed behind him, it felt like the best part of him had been left behind.
Chapter 2
Ava
Montana was beautiful.
Since her arrival a month ago, Ava had fallen in love with the state and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else now. Returning to the city wasn’t even a tiny blip in her plans for the future.
Finn was her future.
She felt like Cinderella, whisked away from the doom and gloom of Washington D.C. and transported to a magical land. Sure, the lack of people and civilization was somewhat disturbing for someone who’d never been out of the city, and the cows were freaking huge and outnumbered humans about six hundred to one, but here…here there was peace.
On her explorations with Finn—on a freaking horse the size of an elephant—he’d shown her his empire. From the highest pastures bleeding into the mountains down to the acreage of forests and creeks. More trees and grass than she’d ever seen before in her life.
And the wildlife!
Birds with wing spans wider than Ava was tall. Bears and wolves and coyotes. She’d been lucky enough to see deer and had damn near peed herself with fear at the sight of a ginormous bull moose that rivalled Finn in size.
She just loved it, all of it.
Sitting in her favorite place almost a half mile behind the big house, Ava wrapped her arms around her legs and stared down the sloping incline at what the cattle mogul she adored had built in his forty years. It was beyond impressive, even to her uneducated brain.
Everything was pristine. They might not be completely out of winter yet—Finn had warned her they could still get a shitload of snow dumped on them at any point in time—but to her eyes, the place was perfect. Post and rail fencing surrounded the paddocks closer to the house, all painted white and gleaming under the spring sunshine.
Horses grazed quietly, all colors and varieties—no, breeds, she corrected herself quickly. Horses came in breeds. Finnegan bred Quarter horses alongside his cattle, both to sell and to work on the ranch. Most of the horses here had been born and raised in the paddocks and barns she could see.
Her eyes slid to her left where a stocky black mare waited patiently. Ava had fallen in love with the horse in the way someone who’d never had a pet as a child fell in love—completely, irrevocably. Hell, she’d cried her eyes out when Finn led the horse from a stall, already saddled and bridled, and told Ava it was hers.
She had a fancy pedigree name, but Ava just called her Kinx.
Finn being Finn had given her express rules for when she was by herself on the property. Number one: she wasn’t allowed to go out of sight of the house, at any time. Number two: she couldn’t go in any of the pastures with horses or cattle in them. Number three: her cell phone was to be with her at all times.
They were easy enough rules to obey. All Ava wanted to do was please Finn so breaking his trust wasn’t even in the equation. For the first time in her life, someone loved her the way she’d always dreamed.
She’d never give him a reason to throw her away.
Even if the voices in her head told her he would. They nattered at her constantly when he wasn’t around, taunting her with the promise of a broken heart and a shattered existence. Urging her to cut, to cut deep, and let the burn take away the pain Finn would bring her.
She tipped her head back to the sun and breathed the way her lover had taught her. It was something they did almost every time they played together, once she was naked and vulnerable, in that space where fear and anticipation twined together to steal her breath.
Breath she gave willingly to Finn when he asked her to surrender, to submit to whatever he had in mind. She shivered, recalling the heat of his chest against her bare back as he pressed against her, his hands holding her securely above and below her breasts. Connecting to each other in the most basic way before he blew her mind into smithereens.
With the warmth of the sun on her face and contentment glossing over the cracks inside her, it was easy to forget it had been over a week since they’d been that close. Seven days without more than a brief kiss or a sleepy cuddle in bed before he rose at the crack of fucking dawn to go check his pregnant cattle.
Oh, she understood completely. Finn hadn’t risen to his position in this world without putting in the time and dedication to his work, and her sudden appearance in his life couldn’t—shouldn’t—change his ethics. Cows were living creatures after all, and they had accidents and bad pregnancies, and they died from all manner of conditions.
As Ava understood it, Finn had a team of competent team staff he’d handpicked over the years to assist him in making the ranch as productive and profitable as it could be. Breeding quality animals for top dollar prices. Losses were expected, but if he lost too many or the really good ones died, it affected not only Finn but his team as well.
That big bed was a really lonely place to be when he wasn’t in it with her.
She wasn’t going to complain. No, she wasn’t. How could she, when she was in the most beautiful place in the world, miles away from the hell of her former life in both spirit and location. Welcomed into the home of a man, a Dom, who cared for her enough to offer her a new start where she could be free.
When the urge to ride the burn struck her again, she’d just do what she’d been doing since she’d promised she wouldn’t cut herself again and fight her way through it without giving in to temptation.
Finn had warned her what would happen if he caught her cutting, and her butt cringed at the thought of an entirely different kind of burn lighting up her sensitive insides. Figging really didn’t sound pleasant. She struggled to accept a normal butt plug without blushing and mewling like a dirty girl. Taking one carved out of ginger was a little out of her depth.
Humiliation was not her kink, and she had a feeling she would be mortified beyond belief if Finn followed through on his threat. So, the safest thing to do was sweat through the desire to cut and find a way to shut the damn voices up when Finn wasn’t near to smother them.
Her cell phone chimed with a message, startling her.
Lifting a hip, Ava tugged it from her pocket and studied the glossy screen.
MasterF: It appears my little dove has flown away again. Usual place?
She grinned, her fingers dancing as they typed out a reply. He was looking for her, so maybe they’d have chance to do more than steal a kiss. Her body felt heavy, ready for whatever he had time for. She was desperately craving an orgasm, almost as much as she needed to cut.
Ava: Just enjoying the view, Sir. Do you need me?
MasterF: No, baby, it’s okay. I’m only checking you’re okay. I’ll be in the office if you need me before dinner. Miss you.
Disappointment surged through her. The wetness between her thighs died a painful death, leaving her achy and sad. Her fingers paused in mid-reply, unsure what she wanted to say.
Told you. It’s already started. Dumb little bitch, you never did listen to me. That cracking sound you hear? That’s the foundation of your coveted future breaking into pieces beneath your feet.
She couldn’t deal with this. Her father had no right to haunt her this way. No matter what she did, she’d never be rid of him. Two things gave her relief from the plague of his voices, and she couldn’t use either one. But God give her strength, it wouldn’t take much for her to break.
She’d been so good for so long, hadn’t she? One little cut wouldn’t change that, would it? No. No, it wouldn’t. It didn’t mean she was weak, it only meant she…fuck, who was she trying to kid?
She’d been weak all her life.
The phone chirped again, insistently, as though Finn knew her thoughts and wanted to distract her from the lure of pain and blood. And that was ridiculous. His primary concern right now was his livelihood, the cows that would soon be mothers.
Ava touched her hand to her stomach, tried to imagine it rounded and swollen with a child. She was envious of those huge beasts, j
ealous of their purpose. They would nurture their babies from the moment they hit the ground, protect them from danger, forge a bond deeper than anything Ava could bring to mind.
It was something she would never have chance to experience. A baby deserved everything its parents could give. Finn would step up to the mark, she had no doubts about that. He’d be the most attentive, formidable father ever—a far cry from her own sorry excuse of a sire.
Would he? A little voice demanded. One of her own this time, not her father’s. Formidable, yes, but attentive? The man has a willing, pining submissive at his beck and call, yet he hasn’t touched you for a week. What makes you think a child could break him out of a forty-year habit of putting work first?
Her hand dropped away from her belly. She shouldn’t even be thinking along these lines. If a woman still had issues opening the refrigerator in her lover’s house, she had no right dreaming of a family with him. That had to be some kind of unwritten rule, right?
The stupid cell phone signaled again, and Ava swiped at the tears on her cheeks before she realized she was crying. Shit, now look at her. Weeping at her own stupidity.
Sniffling, she looked at the screen.
MasterF: Ava? Are you okay?
MasterF: Answer me, Ava. You’ve got me worried, baby.
Everything was going to be fine, she promised herself. One way or another, she’d get through this rough patch. It was about damn time she learned to stand on her own two feet and find a way of coping with her problems without depending on everyone else to pull her clear.
Ava: Yes, Sir. I’m fine. I’ll see you at dinner.
Ava: I miss you too.
MasterF: That’s my good girl. I know this has been hard for you, little dove. I’ve thrown you in at the deep end, I’m sorry. Why don’t you and I have dinner and go to bed early?
She was ashamed that every response that came to mind sounded petty and bitchy. Asking Finn if the cows had given him permission to leave the barn early to fuck his submissive would not only make that dark eyebrow rise sharply above his beautiful gray eyes, it would likely earn her a very hot and sore bottom before the night was over.
Black Light: Branded Page 3
