If he has the time to spank me before he runs back to the barn, she thought bitterly, then clapped her palm over her mouth.
It was frightening how quickly her mood changed, catapulting her into the nasty, jittery phase of depression. The night she’d cut herself so badly she’d almost killed herself, her mood had been just like this.
If she wasn’t careful, she’d find herself sinking into the next phase, where her anxiety expressed itself in tantrums of inexplicable rage. They were rare, thankfully, considering how her body took the brunt of said tantrums and paid in blood.
That part of her didn’t belong here, marring the perfection of Finn’s world.
Maybe she didn’t belong here.
Stop it! You wouldn’t be here if Finn didn’t want you here.
But what if he didn’t? He’d come back for her two weeks after he left, exactly as he promised he would, and stolen her away from her life in D.C. without hesitation. Certainly, with no protest from her. She’d had her tiny bag of belongings packed and ready as soon as she dragged her sore, deliciously used body home from the hotel.
When he’d asked her if she was sure she wanted to leave everything she knew and loved behind and go to Montana with him, Ava had said yes without a second thought, so wrapped up in him and their possibilities that saying no hadn’t even crossed her mind.
If one night could affect her so easily, what was to stop it doing the same to Finn? The thought was devastating. Maybe after a few weeks of living together in the same house, getting to know each other more, her Master’s desire was dwindling.
It was all fun and games fisting a woman in public, but when the spotlight blinked out, the thrill waned.
Gonna cry about it or do something about it? Plenty of ways to die out there in the wilderness if you’ve a mind to. Rich bastard has eighty-thousand acres of land; there’s got to be something out there capable of ending your miserable existence.
Ava shoved to her feet, her phone dropping to the ground as she gripped her hair in her hands and yanked viciously. “Go away! Haven’t you ruined my life enough?”
Too late. It was always too late once the crack in her composure opened up and let him inside. Shoring up her internal defenses made no difference; the moment her father got a foothold, he had the power to destroy her, no matter how much time and distance she put between them in reality.
Appalled by the panic brewing inside her, haunted by his presence, she let self-preservation instincts overrule her head and ran toward her horse. The mare lifted her head, dark eyes kind and understanding. She didn’t flinch as a crazy blonde woman flew toward her.
Ava’s hand shook as she snatched up the grounding rein and tossed it over the sleek black neck. It took several attempts to get her foot into the stirrup, and she was exhausted by the time she managed to heave her weight off the ground, using the saddle horn as leverage. The breath left her lungs in a hard push as she flopped clumsily over the seat, then scrambled to sit astride the horse.
Strangely, she was starting to feel at home up here, with six hundred pounds of powerful animal between her spread thighs. Her skill at riding was nowhere near that of anyone Finn hired on the ranch, but she’d improved from complete novice to halfway competent.
She dug her sneaker-clad heels into the mare’s sides, harder than she’d dared to before, and came close to falling off backwards over the mare’s rump as Kinx broke into a trot, stepped up into canter.
Without any idea of direction, Ava tugged the mare’s head away from the ranch and sent them out into the unknown.
* * *
Finn
Finn leaned on the pen and studied the veterinarian’s handiwork as she stitched up the side of his cow. Neat stitches, a steady hand and keen eye, he noted with approval. He disliked sloppy work, especially when it involved his stock.
For the tenth time in the same number of minutes, he pulled his phone from his pocket and checked for a message from Ava. A kernel of unease sat in his belly, growing bigger by the second. He hadn’t heard from her in over an hour, despite the fact she’d read the text he’d sent her about an early evening together as soon as he’d sent it.
She hadn’t responded to the dozen more he’d sent after that, nor had she read them.
“You know, McLeod, you can go if you’ve got something else to do.” Grace Roberts, his vet of the last three years, snipped off a stitch without looking at him. “Rumor has it you have a sweet young city girl held captive in this massive empire of yours. I can handle the heifer if you want to go service yours.”
Finn growled under his breath. If they weren’t friends to a degree, he’d fire her ass for a comment like that. Unfortunately, she was a damned good vet. “Less of that, Grace. You and I were over a long time ago.”
“I’m not hearing a denial, Finn. Do I get to meet her?”
If I can find her, he thought with a snarl. “Not today.” He reeled off a quick message to his head foreman, Ash, asking if any of the hands had seen his stray submissive. “I don’t want malicious gossip spreading about her, Grace. She’s not a dalliance—I’d like her to stick around for a while.”
Strong slim shoulders shrugged nonchalantly. “None of my business who you fuck anymore, Finn. Like you said, we were over a long time ago. If she makes you happy, I’m happy for you. It’s a big place to be alone.”
He tapped his fingers on the metal rail beneath his hand. Being with Grace had been fun while it lasted, all of four months. Good sex on a regular basis, no strings attached…until she’d crossed that line and declared her love for him. True, she hadn’t been the only one with emotions by that point, but she’d forced him to bring his dominant side to light before things got any more tangled.
When push came to shove, what was prevalent inside him was more than she could handle. Love could only overcome so many obstacles in a relationship. He’d been the biggest one in theirs.
“We weren’t meant to be, Grace,” he said gently. “It was for the best we both realized that before things became complicated.”
“Oh, I know. I enjoyed our time together, but I’m just not into all the kinky stuff you get off on. I’m presuming she does?” Another stitch snipped. “I’m quite happy making the rounds with my various suitors. I don’t hold it against you, Finn.”
Unwilling to discuss Ava with a former flame, Finn shook his head. “She’s not up for discussion. Excuse me,” he said as his phone buzzed with a call. Stepping away, he glanced at the screen and answered. “Ash.”
“Boss. One of the boys saw that black mare taking off across the back pasture an hour ago at a good pace. Rider on board. You want me to saddle up and take a ride out? Got some heifers to check up that way anyhow.”
What the fuck are you doing, Ava? “No, I’ll deal with this myself. I need someone in barn three to help Grace finish up with the C-section.”
“It’s done. Frank will be there in a couple minutes.”
“Thanks.” Disconnecting, Finn’s fingers tightened around the plastic casing just hard enough for something to crack. He called Ava’s cell, waiting impatiently for her to pick up. The sound and scents of cattle didn’t comfort him like they usually did; fear churned nastily in his gut. “Come on, little dove. Answer the damn phone.”
His prayers fell short. The call went to her voicemail after several tense moments and he left a short message requesting she call him back as soon as she was able.
He resisted hurling his phone into the closest wall, instead pulling his Stetson off and slapping it against his thigh in frustration. He’d never forgive himself if something bad happened to her—she’d slipped so seamlessly into life in Montana, he sometimes forgot she wasn’t a country girl…and this terrain wasn’t kind to those who didn’t know it.
Hell, it wasn’t kind to those born and raised on it.
He’d given her the safest horse he could find, he reminded himself. A fucking bomb could explode under that mare and she wouldn’t move an inch. It wasn’t impossible
that she’d bolted, nothing was ever certain when it came to horses, but if Kinx hadn’t taken off of her own accord, it left only one other possibility. One he didn’t like at all.
“Everything okay, Finn?”
Shit, how could he forget Grace was still here? He slipped his phone back into his pocket, then ran his hand through his hair before settling his Stetson into place on his head. Jaw tight, he turned to her. “Frank’s on his way. I’ve got to go.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” she said cheerily. “I’ll be fine.”
“No one deals with stock by themselves.”
Where the hell was Ava going? There was nothing but open country for miles in every direction. He should know—he owned every damn inch of it.
No matter how he looked at it, this fell on his shoulders.
He had five hundred maiden heifers due to calve—five hundred more than he’d planned, thanks to a break in the fence and several randy bulls getting their rocks off at the wrong fucking time—in addition to the thousand head ready to drop over the next week or two. It was part of ranching, sure, but the time he’d been spending in the barn meant less time with Ava.
It wasn’t that she didn’t love the cows—she did. A little too much. She’d been his constant shadow during the first week, drinking in everything, even helping to pull a calf or two, until the night one of the cows tried to deliver a calf in the wrong position.
A bloody, messy, fruitless endeavor.
Finn had lost a promising heifer and her bull calf that night, but Ava had lost some of her innocence. That wide-eyed wonder of new life had turned to tears and guilt for something she had no control over.
Since then, she’d avoided the calving sheds.
But that sure as hell didn’t negate the fact that he’d neglected his sub for the past week, falling into his work habits as if she wasn’t there. That was wrong on every level, and it was going to fucking change.
He was forty-two years old, for God’s sake. He employed the finest ranch hands money could buy, with experience and that all-important commodity required when dealing with stock—common sense. People he trusted implicitly to uphold his standards and treat the cattle with respect.
It was about time he let them do the job he paid them to do and focused on the dream he’d held onto for years, a dream he held in his hands every time he touched Ava.
Black Light had brought them together; it was down to him to keep them strong. More than the sex, the relationship building between them was quickly becoming a vital part of his life. Essential.
Boots clomped along the concrete aisle toward Finn, disturbing him from his thoughts. Before Frank could acknowledge him, Finn was already in motion. “Stay with the vet until she’s done. The heifer stays where she is until she’s bonded with the calf.”
“Sure thing, boss. I got it covered.” A voice heavy with the rasp of a decades-long smoker responded. “Ash is down with Ranger. You’ll be ready to go when you get there.”
Running as though the fate of the world depended on him, Finn didn’t bother with a response. For a big man, he knew how to move fast. He cursed the size of the property as he skidded around the barn door, sprinting down the yard and startling a pen of weanlings waiting to be loaded onto transport to the feedlot.
He ignored several hails of greeting, damn near tripped over one of the resident dogs, and was beyond gratified to find his horse saddled and waiting for him by the time he reached the stables.
“Brandon said she was heading for the foothills.” The tall, lanky blond man told Finn without hesitation, running a calming hand down the gelding’s neck as he shifted edgily. “There’s a CB radio in your saddle bag, along with a first aid kit and supplies. Just in case you get stuck out there and don’t make it back before sundown.”
“We’ll be back,” Finn told him grimly, mounting in a swift, smooth motion. There was an urgency screaming in his blood now, a warning he’d felt before. He lifted his gaze to the sky, judging the weather and the time. Late afternoon, and the clouds on the horizon suggested rain incoming. “Give me a heads up if Ava comes back before I find her, Ash.”
“You got it, boss. Go get her.”
A ton of horse quivered between his legs, awaiting Finn’s order. The gelding was bred to work, and he was eager to go. Pressure from his rider’s leg and a tilt of Finn’s wrist had the horse wheeling to the right. With a tap of his heels against the gleaming gray sides, the powerful hindquarters bunched and released, catapulting them forward across the yard, through the open stock gate, and onto the trail leading toward the hills.
Ranger’s short mane whipped as they gathered speed, kicking up clumps of dirt in their wake. Grass and earth blurred beneath Finn as he hunched over, holding his mount steady.
One trip, one stumble, and they’d both be toast.
A mob of cows and calves scattered, babies bawling for their mamas as the gelding breezed past them.
This was Finn’s home, his territory, but right in this moment, he felt more lost than if he’d been dumped in the middle of a strange city on foot. There was no way to tell if he was heading in the right direction, if he was on Ava’s trail or completely misguided.
God, if she’d been in an accident and he was hurtling away from her instead of toward her, it could mean the difference between life and death. After a month of riding long hours every day, he couldn’t say she was inept at riding, but she just didn’t have the experience behind her if something happened.
It didn’t all rest on the horse and rider either. Outside factors posed a risk—hell, even a gopher hole in the ground could snap a horse’s leg in mid-stride. It wasn’t unheard of for some of the larger predators to venture onto lower ground in the search of a beef dinner; Ava would be a convenient snack for the wolves.
Finn guided Ranger up onto higher ground, slowing their frantic pace so the gelding could catch his breath. The scent of sunshine and sweat was strong.
With his eyes searching the landscape for any sign of the little black mare, Finn alternated between muttering prayers for Ava’s safety and devising creative punishments for a submissive who’d broken all three of his very simple rules.
Spanking would not be sufficient. Fuck, at this point, a solid caning wouldn’t come close to paying penance for making him worry this damn much. Maybe it was time for that ass-fucking he’d promised her, minus a few niceties.
One thing was for certain, Ava wasn’t going to sit pretty for a week, minimum.
Maybe he should consider taking her away for a few days. Spend a few nights playing at Black Light East or West, give them some time together without the interruptions that came with running a multimillion-dollar operation. They could go to the beach, to the mountains, wherever Ava wanted to go.
Ranger lifted his head in interest, wide nostrils flaring as he scented the air. His steps quickened on the rough terrain and Finn gave the horse his head, letting the reins hang a little looser as the gelding edged down toward flatter ground. He whickered, and an answering whinny echoed from a copse of bushes concealing the entrance to what he knew was a small gully.
Finn pushed him into a lope, covering the distance quickly, then pulled up short as a disheveled figure rounded the bushes on foot, leading a limping horse. Ava didn’t appear injured, but she sure was a hot mess.
He dismounted, yanking a bottle of water from the saddlebag and crossing over to his dirty sub with hurried strides. His chest felt tighter than the strings on a haybale despite the fact she was in front of him, a little banged up but unharmed.
As soon as she was close enough to touch, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, feeling her shudder before a soft sob escaped her. The reins slipped from her hand as she burrowed into him, and Kinx stood patiently, her foreleg hanging.
“Are you okay, Ava?” he murmured against her hair. She smelled of sweat and the outdoors, with the faintest trace of her shampoo left from her shower that morning. “Had me fucking worried.”
>
She nodded slowly. “I’m fine. Kinx stumbled and I fell off. I’m okay, but she’s not. I think…I think…” Another sob muffled into his shirt. “I think she broke her leg. She won’t put any weight on it.”
Relieved things hadn’t played out much, much worse, Finn eased back and pressed a kiss to Ava’s forehead. He’d need to get her home and naked to see the extent of the damage from her fall, but she was walking, talking, and there was nothing broken.
He removed the cap off the bottle of water, handed it to her. “Drink this, little dove. Let me check the mare over and then we’ll get you home.” He refrained, for now, from lecturing her on the stupidity of bolting off into the unknown. She’d feel guilty enough if the horse had indeed broken her leg; there was a gun in his saddlebag for just that possibility.
As Ava took the bottle and chugged, Finn sidestepped and stroked his hand down the mare’s face. Moving to her injured side, he ran his hand along her damp neck, continued to her shoulder, then down her leg. With gentle fingers, he probed her dust-streaked knee, then the cannon bone and fetlock.
Finding no breaks in the bone, he examined the back of her leg and found a thick swelling. Grunting, Finn straightened, nudging his Stetson back as he faced Ava.
“Ash had to shoot the cow with the broken leg. Do you have to shoot Kinx?” she asked in a quivering voice, barely more than a whisper.
“No, little dove. No one’s shooting anything today.” He picked up the grounding rein, looped it to his own saddle horn—not that Kinx was going anywhere in a hurry. “She’s pulled a tendon, that’s all. She’ll have to rest for a few months, but she should be right as rain.”
He caught her as her knees buckled, the bottle tumbling to the hard ground. What was left of the water glugged out, soaking into the earth. “I was so scared. I thought you’d have to…”
Black Light: Branded Page 4
