It's Been Awhile

by Lexie Davis

  "Yeah, well, good for you. Some of us aren't so lucky."

  "You would be if you'd open your damn eyes.” She pulled her skirt on, slipping the zipper up her hip. “I like you Ben. And I'm pretty sure you like me. Stop being so full of yourself, and ask me out already."

  "I don't date girls. I fuck them."

  "Fine. Glad to know all I'm worth to you is a good screw.” She stood facing him with her hands on her hips. “You're damn defences don't affect me. I'm not the one you need to protect yourself from."

  "Really?” Incredulity filled his voice. He wound the plastic bag almost painfully around his fingers. “Because I disagree. You're lethal to me, Marah, because now that I've had you, I'll only want you more. I know what you feel like, what you smell like, what you taste like. You're branded in my memory forever. You're a taste of something I'll never have, and for that I need defences."

  He'd left her standing there dumbfounded. Somehow, someway, she'd prove to him that he was worth more than society proclaimed him to be. She just needed time and she'd prove it. And somewhere along the way, she'd prove he was worth more to her as well.

  Marah came out of her memories in a sexual daze. Had it really been ten years since she'd seen the man? It was bad enough that she still got wet thinking about what kind of lover he was and still would be had he stayed. She recalled the times they'd shared together, the times she spent loving him without one single regret. No one but her family accepted their relationship, yet neither one of them cared. To them, being together was all that mattered.

  But Ben couldn't have stayed in Tyler. It was either him or Bobby in his mind, and his mother had chosen Bobby. No matter Marah's pleas or how many ideas she'd come up with for them to be together, he'd left. She understood now, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

  Brushing the thoughts aside, she picked up her purse and pocketed the Darkfever ticket. “Tyler, Texas here I come."

  Chapter Three

  The flight into Dallas-Fort Worth International airport was a pain in the ass from the time they'd left the runway in L.A. Ben's stomach knotted in nervousness while he and his band mates tried to pass the time on the plane by writing new songs for their upcoming album.

  "I'm thinking we should write a song about sex,” Taye suggested, grabbing his bass as he smiled. “Because I had some really good last night."

  David shook his head, pulling off a pen's cap with his teeth. “Have you ever had any that was bad?"

  "No.” Midas answered for him. “His cock isn't particular about what pussy it goes in. As long as it has one to go in."

  Taye smirked. “Deny everything and admit to nothing."

  "That should be the name of our next album,” Sin proposed. Everyone agreed and David wrote down the title on his paper.

  "You're awful quiet, Hawkins,” Midas pointed out and all the band members turned their heads his way. “Usually, you're the one we have to tame. What's up man?"

  "Nothing.” He shook his head, grabbing his guitar. “We already have plenty of sex songs, Taye. If I remember correctly, you wrote them for the last album ... and the one before that. We need something bigger, something better."

  The plane fell silent except for the sound of the engine roaring in the background. All their careers they'd played with sex, a little drugs—nothing too hardcore—and more sex. How could they write anything else?

  "I know.” Taye strummed a few cords on his bass, finding a rhythm. “We'll write a song about the place we came from. Surely we'll find some inspiration in Tyler after being gone ten years."

  Ben forced his mind on work, matching Taye's bass notes. Whoever planned this trip sure fucked it up good. All the alcohol in the world wouldn't prepare him for this arrival. He didn't even know what Marah did now, where she was or if he'd even see her.

  "I like that,” David said, flipping to a clean sheet of paper. “Who wants to start?"

  Midas and Taye bellowed out nonsense lyrics. Ben couldn't help it, he laughed. He loved this most about his job. Sitting back and relaxing as he and his friends made music together. But these four guys were more than band mates to him. They were brothers.

  "Come on Ben. Add something,” David urged, tapping his foot along with Sin who kept the beat as all good drummers do.

  Ben added his verse as they went around the small circle. He'd never dreamed that playing round robin with music could produce a halfway decent song, but it worked. It didn't mean the lyrics would stay the same or that the song would even end up on an album in the near future, but it was there. A simple way to pass the time.

  Somewhere between Arizona and Dallas, the day shifted to night. It was seven-thirty when the plane landed in Dallas, and it took another two hours to drive from there to Tyler.

  Midas and Taye were cousins, biologically, and grew up down the street from Marah's mother. White picket fences and large plantation-type houses were all they ‘d known. They'd both had money and loving parents with siblings and family to support them all the way. Ben and Sin, however, hadn't been so lucky. Both their fathers were alcoholics. Sin's mother danced and stripped while Ben's mother just wasn't around.

  With the guys becoming his only true family, they'd spent many years of hardships before they achieved their big break. With nothing but determination backing the four of them, fate gave them the break they needed and they found David who'd signed them with Rochester Records.

  Ben sat in the limo staring out the window at his past. Nothing had changed. Cattle ranches still lined both sides of the two lane road, and though it was dark, he saw the old billboards still held the same messages. Coming back to this place, it almost seemed as if time had stopped, as if nothing Darkfever had achieved had even happened. Instantly, he regretted leaving Marah alone here. She'd been his only encouragement over the years, the only person to cheer him on. He wanted nothing more than to share all he'd achieved with her. Instead, he'd thoroughly crushed her heart the night he'd left.

  "Hey, Hawkins,” Midas said, drawing him back into the conversation in the limo. “Haylie said that Marah called her last night right before I talked to her. She's coming to the show for an interview. You okay with that man?"

  "Yeah, ‘cause if you don't talk, we won't either,” Sin declared, looking around the limo. “Right guys?"

  Everyone nodded their heads in unison. Haylie was Midas's little sister and Marah's best friend. Right before the band had left, Haylie had given Ben an earful about how he'd hurt Marah. He could only imagine the kind of questions she'd dig up for Marah to ask him now.

  Ben had brushed it off, but the memory of look in Marah's eyes the night he'd left broke his heart all over again. She'd told him she loved him, that she didn't want him to leave. She'd been his biggest supporter, cheering him on at demo recordings and live concerts around the area. But he'd chosen to leave for the wrong reason, forbidding her to follow him. He hadn't replied to her profession of love. He'd simply turned and boarded the bus, never to hear from her again. God only knew what she thought of him now.

  "I'm fine.” He shrugged it off. “Marah's nothing to me. Just a hot piece of ass from back in the day. For all I know, she's married, eighty pounds overweight, and cooped up in a house with twenty kids."

  "Yeah, but back in the day, you wanted her to be your overweight wife caring for your twenty kids.” Sin avoided his eyes while mumbling the comment and the others snickered.

  Girls in Tyler, Texas had a belief about life that was taught since birth: you got married, had babies, and played Suzie Homemaker to your husband. How had Ben picked one of the most stubborn, strong-willed women in all of Texas? He'd never know. Marah never wanted the simple life. She'd wanted marriage and babies but not until she'd established her own clinic and made something of herself. She believed in working to support her family, to support herself, and hell had a better chance of freezing over before she ever decided to play ‘homemaker’ to anyone.

  David shook his head. “I never thought I'd see the day where a w
oman pussy-whipped Hawkins."

  Much to Ben's dismay, he couldn't deny it. He didn't even have a comeback for it.

  Two hours later—three beers a piece—the band arrived in the small town they used to call home. Daisies surrounded the four founding fathers’ statues, greeting visitors. The same narrow, two-lane road ran through the middle of Tyler, shops of different kinds positioned on both sides, just as it always had.

  "Uh, you did get us rooms, right?” Taye asked David, beating the others to the punch.

  "Um ... well ... I sort of thought you guys would know the best place to stay. You didn't tell me there wasn't even a motel."

  "I don't have a house,” Sin said. “My family owns a trailer barely big enough for the cat, Fluffy. I'm going to have to stay with one of you."

  "I don't have a house, either,” Ben said, looking toward Midas. “That leaves you two."

  "My sister still lives with my parents. She'd be staying in the spare bed. I could probably take in one of you.” Midas looked at Taye. “What about you man? Three left."

  Taye shook his head. “Nope. Jackson came down for the show. He and his rugrats are filling up my parents’ home."

  They sat in silence, thinking about where they should stay. Only three houses in Tyler were big enough to house them. Midas's parent's. Taye's parent's. And Marah's mom's.

  "Guys, Holly Spencer-Reece is our only option,” Ben said, knowing Marah would be there as well. “She wouldn't do it for me, that's for sure. Maybe one of you could work your charm on her. If I'm lucky, she'll let me sleep in the horse stable."

  "Damn, Hawkins, what did you do to this girl?” David shook his head.

  The limo pulled into the diner that Bessie Graham, friend to Holly Reece—Marah's mother—operated.

  "Let's go in.” Sin pointed to his friends. “You two dickheads keep your mouths shut while I get Bessie to give us Holly's number.” He looked from Taye to Midas and then to Ben. “Say back and out of sight. I'll be back in no time."

  Sin entered the diner with the late dinner crowd, gasping upon recognition. Several teenage girls came up to him, squealing as they shoved napkins at him for autographs. Midas and Taye slowly sneaked their way around the crowd but not before handing out a few autographs of their own. Ben decided it was best to wait outside. He didn't want to add more trouble to the long list of problems he'd already caused.

  "You're not going in?” David asked, tucking his notepad into his suit pocket.

  "Nah. I like the nights out here,” Ben replied. “Go ahead, though."

  David shrugged, pulling the door open and walked inside as if he owned the place. Through the tinted window, Ben watched his friends laugh with the people they'd missed. Bessie hugged each of them—including David—tears filling her eyes. Ben didn't realise how much he'd missed seeing these people until this moment.

  "Party's inside, isn't it?"

  Ben froze, staring straight ahead as his heart skipped a beat at the sound of Marah's voice. It was the voice he could listen to all day and still be hypnotised by it. “Isn't it taboo to be seen with me?"

  "Not in my mind.” She came up beside him. “You could at least look at me, you know? I mean, I may not be the prettiest groupie, but I don't think I'm all that hideous, either."

  He turned his head, seeing the woman he'd left behind for the first time since that night he'd gotten on the bus. She still had the same angelic face from her youth, yet she seemed more like a woman. Her baby blue eyes sparkled with mischief. What once was blonde hair, was now auburn, falling in soft waves around her face. Her breasts were fuller, giving her the body of a woman instead of the girl he'd known. And she still wore her favourite clothing—T-shirt and a denim skirt—which accentuated the long, lean legs he remembered so well.

  "You look surprised,” she said with a smile. “I know my hair's different. I grew bored with blonde and decided to try red.” She shrugged, looking down at herself. “I've grown maybe an inch. Probably look like hell from the long ride, but nevertheless I'm still the same."

  "Midas said you wanted to do an interview with Darkfever,” he said, hoping to end her nervous chattering.

  "If you don't mind. My father hired me as a journalist, and I'd planned on coming to see my mom on my way to Dallas for a job interview. He wants me to catch the concert, go to Dallas and have the article ready for print by Tuesday when the issue goes out. It'll be hard, but I think I can do it.” She shrugged looking back through the window. “Are you staying with Midas's family?"

  Ben scoffed. “Nope. David forgot to make reservations, so we're hotel-less."

  "Mom's got extra room. I'm sure she won't mind.” She stared at the men before them laughing with the people inside the diner. “So how's life been treating you?"

  Clever of her to avoid his eyes. “We don't have to do this."

  "Do what? I'm making polite conversation on the sidewalk with an old friend.” She turned to face him. “Or are we not friends? I think the least you could tell me is how your life has been since you walked away ten years ago and never came back."

  Ben had known this was coming. Her hot-headed stubbornness came out with the temper of a fighting bulldog. He'd expected her anger and hurt. How the hell could he blame her?

  "Marah...” He shoved his hands in his pockets not knowing what else to say. He watched her stare at their friends, seemingly unaffected by the conversation.

  "Don't, Ben,” she whispered. “Just answer my question."

  "Life's been good.” He tried to keep regret from his voice. “I've been busy so it's been a hassle but a good hassle."

  "Good for you,” she mumbled. “I'm glad your dreams finally came true."

  She met his eyes, awkward silence surrounding them. Tension filled the air between them, thick and heavy as the past assaulted them. He saw the hurt on her face, the hurt he'd put there. Marah was tough, but Ben knew he'd broken her heart.

  "Well, I won't keep you from your friends.” The sound of her heels clicked against the concrete sidewalk as she walked away.

  "I'm sorry, Marah.” He swallowed, looking for words. “I would take back the hurt and pain I've caused you if I could, but we both know I had to leave. It was inevitable."

  She turned. “You leaving isn't what pisses me off the most, Ben.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “You could have called. I mean, I know famous people have representatives to do all their talking, but there are telephones in hotel rooms. It wouldn't have killed you to pick up the receiver from time to time just to let me know you were okay."

  She had a point, but he made an excuse. “I've been busy, Marah."

  "Don't you dare give me that bullshit.” She narrowed her eyes. “Midas called home every single weekend the first three years."

  People stared at their little reunion as they passed. He deserved everything she gave him and then some. But it didn't have to be in public. Huffing with frustration, he grabbed her arm and pulled her down the narrow alley next to the diner, virtually out of everyone's sight.

  "Maybe I thought it was pointless. Nobody wanted me here. You hated me."

  "I loved you, Ben.” Tears rimmed her eyes. “If you couldn't see it then, you were either blind or a damn fool."

  "I saw it, Sweetheart, but I'm a damn fool for letting you go.” He pinned her body against the cool brick building and covered her mouth with his in a hard kiss. Lightning crashed through his veins, the homecoming skyrocketing his desire to high degrees.

  Marah stiffened and pressed her lips tightly together and then finally surrendered to his coaxing tongue. The chill of the night did little to cool his temperature or hinder his thoughts. His mind, body and soul wanted only one thing. Marah.

  He nibbled her lower lip, pulling it between his teeth. She tasted like strawberries, sweet delicious strawberries. Her small hands roamed his body finally settling on his hips. He needed inside her. He needed to feel the only thing that was ever real to him.

  "Ben,” Marah moaned. She gripped his sh
irt, pulling him closer instead of pushing him away.

  He opened his mouth on her neck, streaming wet kisses across her skin. He had to feel her. “Marah, I want you, now."

  His hand grazed her bare thigh, sliding underneath the short skirt. He waited a second for her protest but when none came he continued moving his hand toward her pussy. Her bare pussy he noticed when his fingers touched her hot wet flesh. He groaned against her neck at his discovery, wondering when his sweet Marah turned into such a bad girl.

  He teased her clit, rolling the hard nub with the tip of his finger while his other hand found her breast. Lightly, he kissed and nibbled along her face and neck. Marah's head ground against the wall. Her eyes squeezed shut while her fists clenched his sides. Her mouth dropped open in a slight gasp and then she came.

  A small cry tore from her throat into the silence of the night. Her pussy contracted around his fingers, clenching and sucking as he deftly inserted two into her. The next time she came, he decided, it would be around his cock.

  He kissed her swollen lips one last time before pulling his hand from her body. Slick from her juices, he wiped it on his jeans before meeting her eyes. “I'm sorry I hurt you, Marah."

  Someone cleared their throat behind them, ending the conversation. When Ben turned, all four men stood behind him, smirking.

  "Hey, Marah,” Midas said. “It's good seeing you, babe."

  "Yeah. You too,” she squeaked. With her eyes wide, she pulled away from Ben, blushing. “I should probably get home. Mom's leaving tomorrow so I'd like to see her while I'm in town.” She glanced over at Midas. “Can I get an interview with Darkfever sometime this weekend?"

  "Sure. Anytime you want.” Midas narrowed his eyes at Ben.

  "Great.” She bit her bottom lip, affording one last look at Ben. “If you'll excuse me."

  Chapter Four

  Marah had expected a bad reaction when she saw Ben again, but she hadn't expected her pent-up, overwhelming feelings to surface. And she sure hadn't expected an orgasm. Looking into his eyes, she'd seen the same thing she had at eighteen. Though all grown up, Ben still had demons that haunted him. Her heart shattered when he apologised and it had taken everything within her to keep it together.