Clothed in Thunder

by Abagail Eldan

  “Yes,” I said proudly. “Momma said he may even skip first grade and go into second.”

  “He might be as smart as his big sister,” Andrew said.

  “He’d have to be mighty smart,” Marla said. “Jay had the highest grade point average in our class.” She cast a glance at Michael as if letting him know what he had missed out on.

  Sylvia propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands, looking at me steadily. I looked back with what I hoped was a look of indifference.

  “Yes, she’s always been at the top of her class,” Michael said.

  I glanced at him through my lashes. He looked at me intently, and my heart thundered in my chest, no matter how much I willed it not to.

  Sylvia tittered. “Not when she first got here.” She glanced around the table as if daring anyone to contradict her. “She was at the bottom of Mr. Albertson’s class.”

  Daniel squeezed my shoulders. “Jay’s always been the smartest and the prettiest girl around in my book.”

  “Stop. You’re embarrassing me.” I picked up my milkshake and took a sip.

  “I admire all you’ve done when I know you must have been worried sick with your mother in a sanatorium,” Sylvia said.

  I gasped and struggled to my feet, not upset at her words, but at the realization that Michael had talked to her about me. “Let’s go, Daniel.”

  I stumbled toward the door, not caring if anyone followed. I made it out before a hand grabbed me and twirled me around.

  “Jay. . .” Michael’s face was pinched and white.

  Daniel, behind him, balled his hands into fists. “Get your hands off her.”

  Michael released me and stepped back. Daniel put his arm around my waist. We walked away, and I glanced over my shoulder. Sylvia joined Michael on the sidewalk.

  “Did I say something wrong?” She widened her eyes as she peered up into Michael’s face.

  Michael didn’t reply. I turned away and hurried across the parking lot.

  Daniel and I climbed in the car and waited for the others, neither of us speaking. When the others silently climbed in, Daniel cranked the car and drove away.

  I sat up front between Daniel and Marla, gradually calming down. I finally laughed. “Sylvia’s right.”

  No one answered.

  I twisted in my seat to scan the faces shrouded in the dark. “My momma was mentally ill.” I didn’t tell them she was my stepmother. She was the only mother I had ever known. “She was recently released from a psychiatric ward. It’s not a secret. I’m sorry I got upset. I shouldn’t have.” I shrugged my shoulders.

  Daniel hit the steering wheel with the heel of his hand. “Michael had no business telling Sylvia about your mother. Why did I call them over to the table?”

  “I don’t know. Why did you?” I waited for his answer.

  He cleared his throat. “Mike’s always been a good friend of mine. You know I’ve been trying to help him.” He gave me a sideways glance.

  “Help how?” Anne asked.

  “Michael drinks,” I said softly.

  Andrew snorted. “Lots of guys drink.”

  Daniel shook his head darkly. “Not like Michael. He needs help. Probably why he’s been saying things he shouldn’t.”

  “Some people just don’t want to be helped,” I said.

  “If I had known Michael told Sylvia about your mother. . .”

  “It doesn’t matter. Everyone at home knows. Why shouldn’t people here?”

  Marla patted my arm. “I’m sorry, Jay.”

  “Really, it’s okay. Should I be ashamed of my mother?”

  “Of course you shouldn’t be,” Anne said. “We’re not supposed to hurt others. Sylvia sits in church every single Sunday and then acts like that, all innocent but trying to upset you.”

  “Enough about me. Let’s talk about something else. Please?”

  Marla and Anne hesitated only a moment before they obeyed and talked again of the movie. Eventually, I joined in, firmly blocking Michael and Sylvia from my mind, wishing my heart had not betrayed me.

  After we dropped everyone off, I still stayed next to Daniel. He parked in the yard, and we remained as we were. I lay my head on his shoulder, trying to recapture the feeling I had had just a few short hours ago as we sat in the darkened theater. Why wasn’t Daniel enough? Why couldn’t I get over Michael?

  I sighed and straightened. “I’d better be getting in.”

  He opened the door, slid out, and took my hand to help me. We walked to the house through the darkness. Only a sliver of a moon hung in the sky.

  “I’m going back to camp tonight.”

  “When will you be back?”

  “Probably not until next month.” He raised my hand to his lips.

  When I didn’t protest, he pulled me closer and gently brushed my lips with his.

  He pulled back and cupped my chin in his hand. “I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too,” I said.

  He kissed me again before he released me. He waited until I stepped through the door and closed it. I leaned with my back against it and touched my lips with my fingertips.

  No matter how much I wanted him to be, he was not Michael. But he was still a good man. And a pretty good kisser to boot.

  I smiled and tiptoed quietly to bed.

  Chapter 25—An Opportunity

  Principal Martin nodded to my aunt and uncle. “I wanted to let you know Alabama Polytechnic Institute is offering your niece a special opportunity. Based on her grades and test scores, they are going to allow her to take classes this fall. If she does well, she can continue. Of course, if she doesn’t, she’ll have to reenroll in high school.”

  I looked at him in astonishment. “You mean I’m not going back to high school, sir?”

  Principal Martin perched on the edge of the couch. He looked around at our faces and smiled. “That’s right. As long as you maintain a B average this fall at API, you will be officially graduated from high school.”

  Uncle Howard and Aunt Liza beamed at me. But I wasn’t sure if this was what I wanted. Going to college meant I would have a greater chance to run into Michael. And, did I want to leave my friends behind and not graduate with my class?

  “Yes,” he continued. “You’ll receive a scholarship to pay your tuition. The scholarship won’t cover all your expenses, such as your books.”

  “Jay has a part-time job,” Uncle Howard said.

  Principal Martin looked dubious. “The degree she has chosen to pursue is a tough one. If she graduates, she’ll be one of the first female veterinarians ever to graduate from API.”

  “One of the first?” Aunt Liza’s face radiated delight. “I know she can do it.”

  “It’ll be difficult, especially if she continues to work at this job.” He appraised me.

  I met his eyes. “Sir, my job is only a few hours a week. I’m sure I can do it.” But did I want to? Was I really sure I could?

  He nodded his head at me, his eyes thoughtful. Then he smiled. “I’m sure you can.”

  He took his leave, and, as soon as he drove away, Aunt Liza squealed like a school girl. Uncle Howard gave me a bear hug.

  Although I shared their excitement, fear coursed through me. I didn’t want to leave my friends. The high school, once so large and gloomy, seemed now like a haven, a cozy retreat compared to the sprawling campus right in the next town. I didn’t have to accept the offer, did I? But right now, my aunt and uncle were much too excited for me to discuss it with them.

  I had to talk to someone, so I walked over to Marla’s, calling Chance to follow me. I didn’t tell her the news until we went into the front parlor. She squealed in delight just as Aunt Liza had done.

  “Shhh...,” I cautioned.

  “Why?” Her brows drew together in puzzlement.

  “I’m not sure if I want to go.”

  “Are you crazy? Of course you want to go.”

  I got up and walked around the room. “I want to g
o, but I don’t want to leave you and Anne. Even Andrew and Tommy. . .”

  “We can still see each other after school and on weekends.”

  I wrung my hands and continued my pacing. “But what if I can’t do the work. . .”

  “Jay, you can do it. You need to believe in yourself. Look how far you’ve come since you’ve been here.”

  I took a seat by her and searched her eyes. “Michael. . .What if I see him?” If I were really truthful with myself, Michael was at the root of my fear.

  “Pshaw! Just ignore him.” She shook her head at me. “Are you ever going to forget him? If Daniel can’t take his place in your heart, I don’t know who could.”

  “I know Daniel’s a great guy. I know that. . .” I looked down at my hands clasped in my lap, wishing with all my heart that he meant more to me than Michael. Maybe one day he would—it just wasn’t today. I sighed.

  “Jay, API is a big place. You’ll probably never see Michael. And, so what if you do?”

  “I know you’re right. And, even if I can ignore him, I’ll still miss all of y’all. Especially you, Marla.”

  “This is a wonderful opportunity for you.”

  “Okay,” I said doubtfully. “Maybe I can do it. And, if I get sent back to high school, it won’t be the first time I’ll be sent back to a lower grade.”

  “Great! I’m sure you’ll do fine. Now let’s go tell the rest of the gang.”

  “All right.” I got to my feet, my shoulders sagging.

  Marla took me by the shoulders and gave me a shake. “Jay! Act happy!”

  And, I truly tried, but dread dogged my steps. And dread was named Michael.

  I gave Aunt Liza a peck on the cheek the first morning of classes. I barely made it in time to catch the bus that would take me to the college. Once seated on the bus, I took a deep breath. I could do this.

  I had made a map of the campus and labeled each class and room number on it. Maybe it would keep me from getting lost.

  My palms were sweaty, and I rubbed them against my dress. The sweltering bus ride left me sticky, so that by the time the bus reached campus, my dress clung to me.

  At least my legs were bare, except for my socks at my ankles, and that helped keep me somewhat cooler. I felt strange with bare legs, but all the other girls wore similar shoes and socks, so I fit right in.

  I was part of a dozen or so students who disembarked. I stood for a moment, looking around. I pulled out my sketch, marked with my classes and times. I studied it but could make no sense of what I had drawn.

  A voice spoke in my ear. “Lost?”

  I turned to face Michael, dismayed to see him so soon. I tried to smooth the planes of my face.

  “Not yet.” I tried to keep my voice calm.

  “You mean you’re taking classes here?” He took the sketch from my hands.

  “Yes. At least for now.”

  He kept watching me.

  “If you must know, I received a special scholarship. If I keep my grades up, I’m here to stay.” I held my hand out to take my sketch back, but, to my annoyance, he stuffed it in his pocket.

  “So happens my first class is in the same building. I’ll walk with you.” He didn’t look at me, just started striding away.

  I hurried to keep up with him, angry, but unwilling to make a scene in front of the other students. By the time we entered the building, my legs ached. He pointed me in the direction of my room.

  “I’ll be here when you get out and take you to your next class.”

  I shot him a look of irritation but didn’t have time to argue, already late for class. The only empty desk stood at the back of the room. I unobtrusively took my seat and laced my fingers together on top of my books, waiting as roll was called.

  My first class was freshman English, my favorite subject. Still, I was nervous, afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the older students. The instructor looked to be in his mid-thirties. His long hair curled at the base of his neck. He was clean-shaven and wore a suit coat which he immediately took off. He loosened his tie and rolled up his shirtsleeves.

  He wrote a sentence across the long blackboard and held up the chalk. “Who can diagram this sentence?”

  We had diagrammed harder sentences in Miss Weaver’s class. When no one else volunteered, I timidly raised my hand.

  He pointed to me. “Miss . . .?”

  I climbed to my feet. “Sarah Jane Hunter, sir.”

  He handed me the chalk, and I walked to the board. I wiped the sweat from my hands and went to work. When I finished, he nodded his head with approval.

  “Good job, Miss Hunter.”

  I returned to my seat.

  Maybe college would be easier than I thought.

  Michael waited for me as he had promised. His eyes lit up when he saw me, and my heart again was disloyal, skipping a beat.

  He pulled out my map from his pocket. “Okay, follow me, and I’ll show you your next class.”

  I shook my head. “I think I can figure it out now. Thanks for your help.”

  He studied me for a moment and handed the paper to me. “I didn’t tell her, Jay.”

  I searched his eyes, oblivious to the people swarming around us, wanting desperately to believe him. What did it matter anyway? From what I heard, he was still dating Sylvia. And I still dated Daniel. And I still smelled Michael’s “cologne.” From the look of his rumpled clothes and unshaven face, he was still drinking.

  I sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore, does it? Bye, Michael.” I walked away, my head down. When I glanced back over my shoulder, he was gone.

  I found my next class, after only five minutes of searching. The teacher droned on and on about what was expected of us. But, all I could see, all I could think of was Michael, the way he had looked, what he had said.

  The class was over, and half the class already filtered into the hall before I knew it. I gathered my things and made a beeline for the door. Luckily, I had a two-hour break before my next class.

  I wandered around and found a park-like area with benches under the trees. I opened my lunch bag that Aunt Liza had made from scraps of material. While better than the old syrup bucket, it still held the same ingredients—biscuits and figs with a piece of sausage. I ate my lunch and opened up my books, planning to get a head start on my homework.

  But I couldn’t concentrate. Why couldn’t I get Michael out of my mind? I sighed. No way would I have a B average at this rate. My only hope was to completely avoid Michael, fleeing if I saw him before he saw me. His nearness addled me, as Momma would say.

  I grabbed my things and decided to find my next class. It was a good thing I decided to when I did. Even with my map, I got lost several times and had to ask directions twice. Students already entered when I arrived. When I glanced around, I almost stamped my feet in frustration.

  Michael was just ahead of me. Just great and gravy.

  I pretended not to see him and found a seat as far away from him as possible. If I had found it difficult to concentrate before; now it was impossible. My eyes were continually drawn to him. It was easy for Marla to say just ignore him. She wasn’t me.

  Something would have to give. I sighed heavily and strove to tame my unruly thoughts.

  No, at this rate, I would never get over him.

  And that was unfair to Daniel.

  And to me.

  Chapter 26—Uncle Howard

  When I arrived home, I was hot and sweaty. I got a wash pan and cool water, sponged off and changed my clothes. Aunt Liza fixed us a glass of iced tea, and we sat on the front porch, using square cardboard fans from church to help keep us cool.

  “How did today go?” she asked.

  “Fine.” I pushed back a strand of damp hair.

  “Fine? Tell me all about it.” She took a sip of her iced tea.

  “Michael was there. He’s in one of my classes.” I rolled the tea glass across my hot forehead.

  “I wonder why he’s in a freshman class. That seems stra
nge.”

  It did seem strange now that she mentioned it. Did he make a note of my class and sneak in just to be near me? Part of me flushed with excitement at the thought. Part of me was annoyed. I groaned and covered my face with my fan.

  “Jay, are you okay?”

  I waved a hand. “Fine. It’s just hard.”

  She leaned forward, her unique vanilla scent surrounding me. She pushed my fan away from my face. “Are your classes too hard?”

  “No, my classes are fine. I meant life is hard. I can’t get over Michael, no matter how hard I try. . .”

  “Sweetie, you need to resolve this.” She surveyed me solemnly.

  We remained silent for a few minutes.

  I made an effort to lower my hands to my lap. Chance came to me and laid his head on my knee. I rubbed him, and he whimpered softly. “Maybe it was a mistake to come back. I should have moved in with Momma. Stayed as far away from Michael as I could.”

  Aunt Liza shook her head vehemently. “Don’t say that, Jay! Look at what opportunities have opened for you. You’re only sixteen, and you’re in college with a scholarship. You will be one of the first women veterinarians to graduate. I think you’re where you need to be.”

  “But Michael is making me miserable. . .”

  “You’re letting him make you miserable. There’s a difference.”

  “But I don’t know how to forget him. I’ve tried. . .” My voice broke. I twisted away and blinked back tears.

  “All this stress is hard on you. It’ll get better. Wait and see.”

  “I hope so, but I don’t see how.”

  She patted my back. “Why don’t you go write Dan a letter? Or, go for a ride? Just put Michael out of your mind.”

  “I’ll write Daniel when I finish my homework. I’ve got a ton of it.” I rose and planted a kiss on her forehead before going in.

  When I finished my homework, I did write Daniel a long letter, longer than I planned. I told him I felt overwhelmed but decided not to go into details about Michael.

  In a few days I received a letter in response. Daniel said it was such a warm September that we could take a trip to the beach. He was sure it would cheer me up.