Ivory

by Hadley Quinn

  She rubbed her hand against my dick and seductively whispered, “Maybe I can get you a raise.”

  She kissed me again, and since I was instantly turned on, I asked, “You work at five?” I was trying to remember what time she had to show her face behind the bar.

  “I’m not scheduled at all for today,” she smiled. “I only come in here hoping the piano man shows his face.”

  I grabbed her hand and pulled her out the door with me. By the time we got back to my apartment, there wasn’t a part on her body I hadn’t touched. We’d practically mauled each other in the elevator, and when I had her on my bed, I was so fucking hard it hurt.

  She had on these black heels and tight black leather pants that I had to peel off of her. She looked sexy in them or out of them…it didn’t matter. While I propped myself over her, she unbuttoned my shirt. I was going to jokingly ask if it was adorable enough for her, but the look on her face totally captured my attention as she smoothed her hands over my chest, then over my shoulders, and then she studied me carefully.

  I slid her shirt off until she was only in her bra and panties. My lips were drawn to her skin instantly; the softness and silkiness were incredible as I kissed from her collarbone to her navel. She had a tattoo on her hip; it was a treble clef and a bass clef that together formed a heart. It was in black and white, but growing out of it was a colorful array of flowers and it was gorgeous.

  Her fingers were undoing my pants, and after she slid them over my hips, she pulled me back down to her mouth to kiss her. I pressed myself closer to her so my cock could caress her center. The feel of her body underneath me felt incredible, and although it was tempting to just be inside her and pull out later, I had safe sex on the mind, my past with Lily, my concern for my own future and Ree’s…

  I didn’t have condoms in my nightstand drawer like a perfect story would have. I didn’t have one in my wallet, either. Nope, I had to throw on a pair of shorts and walk down to Wes’s room to find one. Thankful he wasn’t home, I grabbed what I needed and returned to my room.

  I was ready to apologize for the inconvenience, but Ree didn’t seem to mind and was repositioned on the bed for my arrival. God, she was beautiful propped up on her elbows, legs gracefully crossed at the ankles and a sexy smile on her lips. Her eyes pulled me to her instantly, and any awkward pause in our foreplay was long forgotten. I loved the feel of her skin, her hips, her breasts, all of her curves…

  She had a beautiful body that fit well with mine, and when we finally made that intimate union as she took me deep inside of her, I felt my entire soul relax with the same ease.

  I must have fallen asleep because when I looked at the clock, it was almost six p.m. and Ree was nowhere to be found. She just left without a word?

  Confused, I got up and threw some clothes on. Wes wasn’t home yet and the rest of the apartment was empty. I went back to my room and found my phone, sending her a text in case she got called into work and was busy or something.

  She responded ten minutes later.

  I had some things to do. I’m sorry, but I left you a note on the nightstand xoxo

  I didn’t see one there, but there was a piece of pink paper on the floor. It must have fallen off somehow, but it basically said the same thing as her text and that she’d call me later.

  Thinking nothing of it, I jumped in the shower and sat down at my computer for the night. I’d been pondering a lot about social media and what Ree had said about the impact I had made on people. I’d deactivated all of my accounts four years ago, so I guess I needed to start by getting them open again.

  I spent about four hours going through social media, browsing through different pages, checking out some of the sites my friends and their bands had. I knew PR people ran most of them, which was something that I had never allowed. I’d always wanted my posts to come from me, not someone filling in for me. General announcements, yes. But I used to make sure I personally posted as myself.

  Where the hell had I gone these past few years? How had I strayed so far from being in touch with my supporters?

  Sighing, I began my mission of getting back in touch with the people. I knew it was going to cause a big stir, and there would most likely be some talk as to whether or not it was really me or just someone representing me, so I made sure I authenticated it enough by doing some stupid webcam selfies.

  Within seconds, my posts were already getting comments from one media site to another. I was blown away. And as the remarks piled in one by one, I continued to browse through posts from other people, and just by clicking on my name in a hashtag, I could see thousands of conversations about me.

  I hopped on the one site that was easiest for me to navigate and decided to do an impromptu Q&A session. Again the responses were immediate. None of this was new to me, but the questions were pretty different this time around. People were asking if I was okay, if I was working on anything, was I back in Los Angeles, did I still play, was I ever going to tour again…

  I indulged as many as I could, one after another. By the time my eyes were blurring and my head was starting to hurt again, I had over fifteen thousand comments on just one post.

  It was overwhelming, but ninety percent of the interactions were positive, or at least somewhat concerned with my wellbeing. I ignored some of the stupid or ignorant ones, people just trying to incite social media uproar or just straight up act like assholes. There was no reason to go deleting any of them because that shit just multiplies like weeds.

  Wes popped his head into my room around midnight with a weird smile on his face. “So, man behind the curtain…”

  I understood that he somehow knew what I’d been doing, which meant the news was spreading like wildfire.

  “I approve, buddy,” he nodded. “Just don’t overdo it.”

  I actually appreciated his advice and it was well warranted. I was already wearing myself out with what I’d already been doing. I also knew that Aaron had been trying to get a hold of me and I was purposely avoiding him. I didn’t need him jumping in and making a bigger deal out of this than it was. I only wanted to connect with my fans, thank them for sticking around for me, and let them know that I’d be coming back with more.

  That’s what Aaron wanted to capitalize on—the “more” aspect—and even though I liked the guy and he did his job well, I didn’t want him up my ass just yet.

  I needed to do this my way.

  18

  Your lawyer says he’s ready to go,” Blake said when he called me up the next day.

  “Fantastic, let’s meet in your office tomorrow. Eleven a.m.?”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  I was ready for this. It was going to be a huge change in my life, but ever since discussing it with Blake a month ago, it continued to sound like the best route for me to go.

  At first it was just loaning him the money to keep The Urchin from going under. Blake was very upfront with me as he shared the financial struggles he was having, but he flat out refused my money. Since he was an accountant himself and preferred to attend to that over anything else, and Ben was a fabulous business manager, Blake felt like there was one major change that he could make…if I agreed.

  When all of us were in his office the next morning, my longtime lawyer, Douglas Sumner, turned to me and said, “Well, you’re all good to go.” He set a stack of papers on the desk in between all of us and added, “Just sign on the highlights and it’s done. Your dad would be proud, Jude,” he nodded. “This is a good thing for you.”

  Years back, my father and I always talked about investing in some sort of business or project or just…something. We hadn’t fully decided, and with his passing two years ago, I chose not to even think about it. I had my own shit to sort through, and even though I still contributed to the same charities and organizations like I always had, I wasn’t ready to add anything else to my plate.

  But this was going to bring everything I loved into one place. It was the direction I wanted to go, and working with
Blake and his family felt like the right thing to do.

  When we all parted an hour later, I immediately went looking for Ree. I knew she was there that day because I saw her car when I pulled in, but after five minutes of searching the building, I still couldn’t find her.

  “Try Hillman’s,” Ben said as I stood at the bar in pause. He motioned north with his thumb and added, “She walked there.”

  “She walked?” Okay, this was a decent neighborhood, but a few blocks north was not the best and I was uncomfortable with that. And plus, Ree had barely communicated with me the last two days. I hadn’t even seen her since she snuck out of my apartment.

  “Yeah, she tells Zane she’s coming and he’s always waiting for her. She likes the exercise.”

  I took a moment to choose the right words. “Is she okay, Ben? Something has changed with her, I can feel it.”

  I really didn’t like the look on his face. He knew something but didn’t want to say, and it not only made me anxious, but it made my stomach tense up.

  “Ben? What the hell happened?”

  He sighed as he sat down on a stool, so I did the same and waited for him to spill the beans. Or to seal my fate, I wasn’t sure which. He for sure had some sort of blow he was hesitant to hit me with.

  “You gotta be careful with Ree, Jude,” he told me. “She’s… She’s a strong girl, but she’s still in a tricky stage right now.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She’s still trying to build herself up from what happened to her. I know she told you, so that’s why I’m bringing it up, and I know you two have, uh, gotten close. Otherwise I wouldn’t share this stuff about my sister.”

  “I understand. And I wouldn’t ask you to. But if there’s something I need to know…”

  He barely nodded, then finally said, “I think you scare her a bit.”

  Well, that makes two of us I wanted to say, but Ben continued.

  “It’s like…she had this image of you all these years. Because of your music. And now that she knows you on a personal level…”

  “I’m not what she thought I was?”

  He replied with a short laugh, almost a scoff. “No, the opposite. You’re everything she believed you to be. That’s a little much for her to handle.”

  “Has she told you this?”

  He pursed his lips for a second. “She told me some things that I’m not going to repeat. This is just…a summation.”

  I placed my chin in my hand and methodically stroked my stubble. Hmm. Stubble that Ree had specifically said she liked on my face. I could still remember the way she felt and the smell of her hair; how she touched me, kissed me, held me…

  “Hello?” Ben’s voice interrupted.

  Looking at him, I shrugged. “Your sister is amazing. I don’t know what else to say. There’s nothing about me that is any better than the next person. She and I are equal on so many levels…”

  I trailed off because Ben was shaking his head. “And that’s where you’re not on the same page, Jude. Look, Ree is amazing, like you said, and she’s strong and independent…but it doesn’t mean she wants to get hurt. Understand? You have the power to do that. And I agree with her… I don’t want to see it happen.”

  So everyone thought I was just going to break her heart, huh? I guess in being cautious for myself, maybe I didn’t take anyone else’s concerns into consideration.

  Until now.

  “So she’s at that café up the road?” I asked as I stood.

  Ben nodded. “Yeah, but she’s working with my dad in an hour or two.” I didn’t quite know what he meant, but when I showed signs of confusion he added, “She’s been interested in learning the books.”

  Nodding my understanding, I said departing words and left.

  Ree was sitting in her regular booth. She didn’t seem surprised to see me, so I wondered if Ben had given her the heads up. She did smile as I sat down, but it almost seemed obligatory.

  “So what’s up?” I asked right away. I felt like there was no need to delay the purpose of this conversation.

  She stirred her milkshake before looking at me. “Ben said he had a brief conversation with you.”

  “Yes,” I nodded. “I asked if you were okay. He basically said you were not.”

  With a sigh, she shook her head. “I’m fine. And I don’t need for this to be a bigger deal than it is.”

  “So if it’s not a big deal, than what’s the small deal?”

  Finally she smiled again, but it was at least genuine this time. “No deal at all, Jude. And I didn’t mean to cause you any concern. I really didn’t think…”

  I tilted my head for better understanding. “Didn’t think what?”

  With a shrug she softly answered, “Didn’t think you’d care.”

  Raising my eyebrows, I tried to comprehend her meaning. “Didn’t think I’d care that you needed space from me?”

  She sighed. “It’s not that, Jude. I just… I’m trying to take care of myself. It was a small little choice that I didn’t think you’d notice. Come on, you said yourself that you have to be careful around people; not let too many people in, or trust everyone.”

  “That’s different, Ree.”

  “How?”

  “That doesn’t include you.”

  She stared at me for several seconds. Her eyes looked sad, or worried, and I didn’t like seeing that. I wanted her to smile again, to laugh and to feel carefree.

  I reached out and motioned for her to take my hand. When she placed hers in my palm, I squeezed it gently and said, “I’m obviously out of practice with this sort of thing. Will you have patience with me?”

  At last she smiled again, almost shyly as she glanced down at the table. “Of course. Will you have patience with me?”

  “Hmm. Maybe.”

  She looked up at me and narrowed her eyes, but when I winked at her, she shook her head. “Your facetious charm is asking for it.”

  Those are words that bring a stupid grin to a guy’s face. “Oh? I think I like the sound of that.”

  Her gorgeous smile lit up the room, but then she turned a bit pensive. “I have to remember you’re quite a bit different than what most girls would be used to, me included.”

  Arching an eyebrow, I studied her carefully to understand. “You mean because of how public my life is?”

  She bobbed her head from side to side in thought. “Mmm no, I mean because of your personality. Your character. Who you are as a person, not what you are to the public.”

  I wasn’t following and she seemed to be able to tell. She smiled and shook her head as she looked me right in the eye.

  “You have a timeless soul, Jude. Do you realize that? It’s like…you can relate to anyone and anything because you just…feel so deeply. Sometimes it seems like you can climb right inside someone’s thoughts, like you’re connected to whatever a person feels. I don’t know if that’s what you’re doing, but your eyes…they’re just so very soulful, it feels that way.”

  When she paused, she squeezed my hand. But I honestly felt like lately I’d been the opposite of what she’d just described. I’d always felt somewhat connected to people that way—I truly felt my sensitivity to humanity was what helped me write the songs that I did—but with Ree it almost felt like I’d lost some of that ability to read her. I believed I had failed her on more than one occasion and I didn’t know why.

  I shared that with her and she smiled. I didn’t quite understand why she seemed so pleased.

  “It’s because I’ve rattled you,” she swirled a finger at me. “I’ve thrown off your game, piano man.”

  Hell, I’m sure she was right. I raised an eyebrow at her playful arrogance. “I’m not ashamed to admit it,” I shrugged.

  She laughed, but then became a bit subdued as she watched me carefully. “To be honest, you rattled me first. Your music says more than you might realize; it finds its own way into peoples’ lives when they listen to it.”

  I considered that for a
moment. Sometimes I didn’t want people to connect my music to every personal part of my life or who I was, but I suppose that was inevitable because of the kind of music I wrote. It was my style, my process; letting every honest bit of me pour out in my songs.

  “Music can be pretty subjective,” I countered. “People take from it what they want or what they are interpreting.”

  “Very true, but I think with people like me—listeners that might be a bit more reflective—perhaps the beauty comes in the way we are able to apply it to our lives.”

  Another thought for me to contemplate. “I agree. And generally, when you’re happy you enjoy the music; when you’re struggling…you understand the lyrics.”

  Her gaze was intense as she continued to observe me. It was kind of interesting that people often said an old soul could be seen through my eyes. I felt the same about Ree. She had such a yearning, a thirst for understanding life, and it was obvious by the look in her eyes. They were also full of compassion and that spoke to me.

  “I love that,” she finally answered. “And it’s true. When you’re struggling—or have lost a lot or been in the depths of hell—you tend to gain insight that you might not have otherwise acquired.”

  Whoa, this woman was solid.

  She sighed after taking a sip of her milkshake. I could tell she was considering another thought, so I waited.

  “I owe you an apology.” Her voice was so soft I barely heard her. But she looked up at me and added, “I’m sorry for treating you the way I did—for leaving like that—it’s just…I carelessly assumed you wouldn’t mind because…well because most guys are that way. Unattached. Meaningless. But you’re not that way, even with your career. I think I knew that but tried to convince myself otherwise. There’s no explanation for it other than me putting myself first and…I don’t want to do that with you.”

  Hearing that made my respect grow for her a thousand percent. She was talking about casual sex, and no, that was not me at all. I could also read between the lines and she was afraid of my career, and my status, and what was considered “the norm” in my line of work. I didn’t fall in the normal category and I never had. Women threw themselves at musicians in hordes but it was never something I was interested in. I used to meet females through the industry, or friends, or in a business environment…but I never picked up a stranger after a show and I’d never had a one-night stand.