The Devil's Sinkhole

by Bill Wittliff

  YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS DON’T YOU, Calley said. No Sir I don’t have no Idea, Papa said. Why that’s the Lostest god dam Soul they ever was in the World that’s who that is, o’Calley said, And bout the ugliest one too he said then pitched a’nother three four Rocks down the Hole and hollered Better look out down there Senyor Blanco the Skys bout to Fall in on you. Oh and then, Papa said, they was a BOOM from down there in the Hole and a Bullet come a’whistling up pass our Ear and scared some more Bats off the Wall. You better stop that shooting Mister fore I come down there and talk to you bout it, Calley hollered, you hear me. That wadn’t me Mister, o’Pelo hollered back. I’m just setting out here on this rock in the middle a’all this Bat Quache a’bleeding to death. I’m Sorry, Calley hollered, I didn’t know that til you tole me just now. Where’d he shoot you any how. Here in my arm, o’Pelo hollered. Well I hope you shot him back for it didn’t you, Calley said. I will when I get the chancet but right now I ain’t even got no idea where he is. Oh and then they was a’nother BOOM down there, Papa said, and o’Pelo hollered THERE HE IS THERE HE IS and then they was a’nother BOOM BOOM BOOM and then another BOOM and then Nothing. You get him or not, o’Calley hollered down the Hole but didn’t no Holler come back. You don’t reckon that Boy got the ugly o’SonofaBitch in sted do you Calley said and I said, Papa said, wouldn’t Surprise me a’Lick if he did I reckon. No me neither, Calley said then set back and twirled his Spur Ching e Ching e ChingChingChing. Well ain’t nothing to do but go down there and See I reckon, he said, If o’Pelo ain’t Dead we wouldn’t want him to lose that Arm would we. You just stay here and keep your Ear tucked in okay. Oh that did sound Good to me, Papa said, but No Sir I said I’m a’going down there with you Mister Pearsall you might could use a Hand. You ain’t scared that Boy down there might Murder you like he been a’Murdering ever body else round here, he said. Yes Sir I am scared a’that, Papa said, but I’m just gonna have to jump over it for Little Missey and see whether he does or not. Well may be you oughta go First then, o’Calley said, I ain’t sure I’m that Brave my self.

  . . . Oh it was so Deep you couldn’t no way see the Bottom . . .

  SO WE TIED OUR ROPES TOGETHER over a Stump and throwed the Other End down the Hole, Papa said, but it didn’t come no wheres near reaching Bottom so I said You ain’t planning on us a’jumping the last Mile or two off this Rope to the Bottom are you Mister Pearsall but o’Calley was already a’sliding on down the Rope and said When I get to the end a’this Rope you just slide on down and set you self down on my shoulder til we see What we do after that. So, Papa said, I went a’sliding on down the Rope til I was a’setting there on his shoulder like he said and Oh now I seen the inside a’the Sinkhole curved way back in there like the inside a’some o’Jug and they wadn’t no Wall you could reach out and grab holt of to pull youself over on. Oh and poor o’Fritz was up there at the top just a’whining cause we couldn’t do no moren just dangle out there in the empty Air. Fritz ain’t so sure bout this I said, Papa said, but Calley just went to pumping his legs To and Fro To and Fro and then I did too and then here in a minute, he said, we was just a’swinging Back and Forth Back and Forth out over the Bottom a’the Hole with all them Bats a’flapping by so close you could a’reached out and grabbed you one if you’d a’knowed what to do with it oncet you did. Pump, o’Calley hollered, PUMP PUMP PUMP. And Oh we did Pump, Papa said, but ever time we reached out to grab a’holt a’the Wall to pull our self over on Why the Rock give way and went a’falling to the Bottom and they wadn’t nothing to do but just keep a’pumping Back and Forth Back and Forth out over that Hole to where Mister Pearsall finally said I think maybe we in some Trouble here don’t you and I was bout to say Yes Sir I do believe we in some Trouble here When of a sudden I looked over there to the Wall when we come a’Pumping close by and Why there was my o’Amigo Mister Pegleg just a’Shining and a’Shimmering on this little Rock Ledge and I hollered Over There Over There so, Papa said, we Pumped and we Pumped and we Pumped and next thing you knowed we grabbed a’holt a’the Wall and stepped out on this little Rock Ledge Mister Pegleg a’showed me. Then, Papa said, o’Calley hanged our Rope over a Rock to where we could find it again and went to scattering Bugs and Rats and some Critters I didn’t even know nothing bout and went to climbing on down in the Sinkhole. How you reckon we ever gonna get back out a’this Hole again in our Life I said, Papa said. I ain’t got no Idea, Calley said, but Listen here Mister I’m sure gonna be Glad when that’s all we got to worry bout ain’t you.

  OH WE CLIMBED DOWN DOWN DOWN, Papa said, then just bout when we got to thinking they wadn’t no more Down we could climb Why there we was at the Bottom a’the Hole and Oh the Rats and Scorpins just went a’scattering ever which way and all kind a’other little Critters did too but the Thing got my Eye, he said, was the Floor was just a’Twisting and a’Turning and a’Going this Way and That Way like a Big o’River and it didn’t smell so good neither. What is this here I said, Papa said. That’s that Bat Quache o’Pelo was talking bout here a minute or so ago, Calley said. You ain’t a’telling me that’s Bat Do come a’Live and gone running round like this are you, Papa said. No what you a’seeing is bout a hunderd Million and three Little o’Bat Bugs Skating round in there on the Quache, Calley said. If you was to step off Bare Foot in it Why they’d eat you toes right off you Feet fore you could even holler Whoopsees, he said. Just take a Look over yonder you don’t believe me and when I looked, Papa said, Why they was Bones scattered all over big as Trees and some of em Two Three times biggern that. I reckon they from them Olden Times same as that o’Antique Rock Aligater Head we found that time in Landa’s Pasture was, Calley said, Remember that. I said Yes Sir I do remember that, Papa said, that’s when me and you and my Brother Herman first met. Oh and then of a sudden o’Pelo hollered from some wheres way out there in the Dark There He Is There He Is and then they was a BOOM BOOM BOOM and a Bullet come a’flying and took o’Calley’s John B right off his Head and then they was a’nother BOOM BOOM BOOM from some wheres else over there in the Dark and o’Calley pulled his big o’Pistola out his Pants and let go a BOOM BOOM BOOM up in the Air his self. You see some thing I said, Papa said, but Calley said No I’m just shooting my Gun off cause ever body else is that’s all. Oh and then, Papa said, o’Pelo hollered WATCH OUT WATCH OUT then here come a’nother BOOM and a Bullet blowed some Quache up on us then next thing they was a big OOOOH OH OOOOH and a big CAPLONK CAPLONK and Calley said That sounds to me like One of em knocked the Other One in the Quache but I can’t tell which one just by the sound a’it. No Sir me neither, Papa said. So we rooted round and made us some Fire Sticks to see in the Dark and went a’looking round in there to see but No we couldn’t find em neither one but we did find the Rock where o’Pelo been a’setting cause they was Blood all over on it from when o’Arlon shot him in his Arm and maybe some other place too.

  OH WE LOOKED AND WE LOOKED, Papa said, but we couldn’t find o’Arlon or o’Pelo neither one no wheres down there in the Devil’s Sinkhole. Well they just Up and Disappeard on us like a Ghost didn’t they, Calley said. But then, Papa said, I looked over yonder hind one a’them Big o’Antique Rock Bones and they was a Water Hole back there and I said Mister Pearsall I think I might know where they maybe went. So o’Calley come over there and said Where’s that and I said Why down in this Water Hole here is Where and then Calley studied it a minute and said Yes Sir you might just be Right then kicked his Boots off and shed his pants and ever thing else too cep his underwears and said You stay here I’ll write you a Letter first chance I get if I find em then jumped on in and wadn’t nothing left but Bubbles where he went. And then Oh Boy Hidy I got scared What if my o’Amigo Calley Pearsall drowns down under there and don’t never come back again then I started counting off the seconds he was gone and when I got to Twenty Six I went to a’shucking my Pants off cause by Thirty I decided I was a’going in to save my Friend if I could but at Twenty Nine Why o’Calley come up out a’the water again just a’Spitting and a’B
lowing and said They’s a’nother Hole down there in the Bottom a’this Hole just a little too Little for me to go a’swimming through. But just bout right for a Boy a’Arlon’s size huh, Papa said. Yes Sir, o’Calley said, just bout that size. Well it’s just bout my size too then ain’t it, Papa said. What difference it make, o’Calley said, You ain’t a’going down there any how. Yes Sir I am I am, Papa said. Don’t worry I’ll write you a Letter first chance I get. Oh he give me a Look then and squeezed my shoulder. I’m gonna miss you if you don’t come back Mister, Calley said, you know that don’t you. Yes Sir I do know it, Papa said, and I’m gonna miss you too Mister Pearsall. You a’wasting Time, he said, Now get a’going.

  LAST THING I DONE, Papa said, was give o’Fritz a wave Goodbye up there at the top a’the Sinkhole then set my John B down on a Rock to keep it Dry and jumped on in. Oh the Fish down there under the Water wadn’t nothing like any Fish I ever seen fore in my Life Why they had Thorns on em like Cactuses and Horns like some o’Billy Goat and some thing tole me Don’t Touch em Don’t Touch em then here in a minute I seen that Hole in the Bottom a’the Hole o’Calley been a’talking bout and I was just the right size to go a’swimming right on through without no trouble and Oh they was Big Antique Rock Animal Heads and Feet just bout everwheres you looked and more Arra Heads’n you could shake a stick at and then of a sudden the Water grapped a’holt a’me and next thing, Papa said, I was a’Spinning and a’Going down this long Tunnel like I been caught in a Whirled Wind somewheres but No Sir it was Whirled Water I was caught in this time and that Tunnel started a’getting Littler and Littler til I was a’Bumping and a’Bouncing off the side and what I was thinking now was Oh Boy Hidy I wish I’d a’never jumped in here but then when I was bout to go Loonie from it that Whirled Water throwed me up on this Shore somewheres and I looked up and there was the Sky and up in the Sky Why there was the World just a’spinning round and then, Papa said, I looked over there and yonder was my o’Amigo Mister Pegleg just a’Shimmering in front a’this Dark o’Cave went way back in there some where and I give him a Hug to say Hidy and he give me a Lick to say Hidy back like that other time I come down here in my Dream and seen my mean o’Daddy a’setting on that Flat Rock. Oh and then, he said, I follered Mister Pegleg on in the Cave and they was other Caves run off from this One in ever which Direction and Oh they was neckid People in ever one of em and they was all a’Crying and a’Moaning and a’Hollering and a’Pulling they Hair out and a’Bugging they Eyes like the End a’the World just like that first Time and they was the Saddest People I ever did see in all my Life. But, Papa said, o’Mister Pegleg just went a’Hobbling right on pass and I had to trot to keep up and Oh we went Deeper Deeper Deeper down in the Cave til here in a minute Why there was my o’Daddy still a’setting on his Flat Rock and a’Crying in his Hands and a’Hollering Oh Poor Me Oh Poor Me O Poor Me but this time, he said, I seen bout ten hundered and nine other People a’setting on they own Flat Rock all over the Place and most of em was Men but some of em was Womens too and they was all colors White Black Brown Red Yeller kind a’Purply and they was Black Dominoes piled all round they Feet ever one of em And course, Papa said, they was all Crying bout it just like my poor o’Daddy was. Then some body hollered, What you a’doing in here Mister, and I looked over there and Why there was them same Seven Old Men a’setting at that Table had them stacks a’Black and White Dominoes on it. No Sir I ain’t doing nothing, Papa said, just looking round. Wadn’t you in here one time before, the o’Mexkin Man said, but we had to run you off cause you wadn’t on our Lista yet ain’t that Right. Yes Sir that’s me I reckon, I said. So what you want now, the o’China Man said, we ain’t got Time to fool with you Mister. I’m just looking round a’little is all, Papa said, I ain’t hurting nothing. Well you like what you see, the o’Black Man said. You got any Question while we waiting for our next Job to start. Well, Papa said, I seen all them Womens a’setting out there on a Flat Rock long with all them Men but I don’t see no Womens a’setting here at the Table with you and I’s just wondering Why’s that. Cause they ain’t no such thing as a Woman that’s Why, the o’White Man said. Course, the o’Black Man said, they ain’t no such thing as a Man neither. In the Beginning, he said, They was just this One got broke in Two and Half a’it come out a Woman and the other Half come out a Man and ever since then them Two Halfs been a’trying to get back together again and when they do Why that’s where Ever Body Else come from. Oh and then, Papa said, All them Seven Old Men just went to wiggling they Eye Brows up and down and bout fell out they chairs on the Floor a’laughing. Yall got a Funny Bone bout it ain’t you, Papa said. Well it’s Funny all them Halfs jumping on Top a’each other to make a new Whole One again. And not only that, the Old China Man said, but all the Hollering and Wiggling they do when they at it is Funny too.

  OH THEN HERE COME TWO SHIMMERY PEOPLE, Papa said, and one of em was o’Arlon Clavic and the other one was Pelo Blanco and, he said, o’Pelo looked bout scared to Death even if he was already Dead but o’Arlon was just a’Grinning Ear to Ear like some little o’Possum found him a piece a’Watermelon to eat out there in the Road. Then the Old Inyin Man pointed at Arlon and said Come on over here a minute and set down We wanna hear what you got to say for you self. So, Papa said, o’Arlon went over there and set down in the Chair had all them Black and White Dominoes on the Table in front a’it. I hope this ain’t gonna take long, Arlon said, I got other Fish to Fry here in a minute. Oh them Old Men did laugh bout that, Papa said, then the Old China Man said You got to tell us bout all the Good Things you done in your Life and then you got to tell us bout all the Bad Things you done in your Life and it’s our Job to see how they stack up one a’gainst the other fore we can turn you a’Loose for a’nother Try. Or not the Old Black Man said and then, Papa said, all them other Old Men nodded they Head Yes Sir that is xactly Right Mister. So o’Arlon said some thing bout some thing Good he done and grabbed him a White Domino for it and then said some thing else bout some thing he done but this time them Old Men wouldn’t let him have a White Domino for it but give him a Black Domino for it in sted and then, Papa said, when o’Arlon thought they wadn’t looking he tried to sneak him another White Domino but the Old Mexkin Man seen it and slapped his Hand for him and took it back. Oh and then, Papa said, o’Arlon just went to grabbing at them White Dominoes but them Old Men wouldn’t have it and grabbed em back ever time and give him a Black Domino in sted and wadn’t long and o’Arlon had this great big Stack a’Black Dominoes in front a’him for all the Bad Things he done in his Life but not hardly no White Ones for the Good Things he done and I thought Well I reckon that’s Fair ain’t it but then o’Arlon give me a Look his Eyes just a’blinking Down Up Down Up like that o’Lizert and said Ain’t you gonna help me Amigo but that o’Copper Taste come up in my Mouth like a Flood for what he done to Little Missey and all them other People and I said Oh No Sir Not Any at all No Sir. But when I said it, Papa said, Why I could tell my Eyes was starting to blink Down to Up Down to Up just like his was and Oh it come to me then I better shed my Hate Quicks I can fore it turns me into One a’him and I can’t never turn it back round to who I was in the First Place. Oh and then, he said, them Old Men pointed over there to the Corner where they was a big pile a’Flat Rocks and told o’Arlon to go over there and pick him out one he liked cause he was gonna be a’setting on it from here to Kingdom Come but o’Arlon just went to laughing bout it like some o’Loonie then looked over at me his Eye Lids just a’going Down Up Down Up Down Up and said I’m gonna come back up There one a’these Days and get you for being a False Friend to me cause that’s the Worsted Crime they ever was in the World and that’s what you done to me. Oh and then he went over there and picked him out a Flat Rock he liked and went over there and set down on it beside my Mean o’Daddy. And when he did, Papa said, that Old China Man waved at poor o’Pelo Blanco a’standing there to come on over and set down at the Table and tell em bout all the Good Things and all the Bad Things he done in his Life so t
hey could see how they stacked up one against the other and tell him if he needed to go pick him out a Flat Rock to set on or not. Then, he said, all them Old Men looked over at me and said Good Bye Mister we don’t never wanna see you down here again til it’s your Time you hear. And I said Yes Sir I do hear, Papa said, and then me and o’Mister Pegleg went on off and in a minute we was back at that Water Hole where I come from.

  I GIVE MISTER PEGLEG SOME HUGS to say Good Bye to my o’Amigo, Papa said, and he give me some Licks back for it and it bout made me cry to leave him but I jumped back in the Hole and Oh that Whirled Water grabbed a’holt a’me again but this time it was a’Whirling the other Direction and now the Fish I seen didn’t have no Thorns on em and no Billy Goat Horns neither. Oh and then, he said, I seen all them People o’Arlon Murdered a’swimming long side me I reckon to make sure I got back to Calley safe. O’Superintendent Shettles and Mister Medcalf and that Man Arlon Murdered over in Kendalia long time ago and then that Mexkin Family and they poor o’Dog he Murdered out there in they Field and then some other Ones I reckon he Murdered when wadn’t no body else looking and then Oh, Papa said, Oh and then here come Little Missey and her o’Pet Panther a’swimming right up close but not only them, he said, but now her Little Boy Bomonee was with em too and Little Missey reached out her Hand to me and I reached out my Hand to her and when we touched Why of a sudden it wadn’t her Hand no more but was o’Calley’s Hand in sted and he pulled me right back up out the water to where I started out from. They dead I said, Papa said, o’Arlon and Pelo Blanco both. You ain’t telling me nothing I don’t already know, o’Calley said then handed me my John B and pointed his Finger out cross that River a’Bat Do to where bout ten million and seven o’Bat Bugs was just a’eating away on o’Pelo’s Bones while he was a’hugging o’Arlon’s Bones tight to his self. I figgur what happened, Calley said, was o’Pelo grabbed him when o’Arlon went to shooting at us and took him on down under the Quache with his self to save our Life. And may be his own Soul too while he was at it huh, he said. I don’t know did he or not, Papa said, o’Pelo was just a’setting down at the Table with them Old Men to talk bout it when they tole me I had to go on and go. I wish I’d a’been there with you, Calley said. Me and o’Pelo had our Differences but I’d a’tried to put in a Good Word for the Ugly o’SonofaBitch if I could a’come up with one he said then reached over and wiped the Quache off his Hat. Our o’John B’s is starting to get em a History ain’t they he said, Papa said.