And then it was done. He knew in his gut he’d gotten something extraordinary, and it was all he could do not to shout, to punch a fist in the air. Jubilation soared through him, and he reached for his phone so he could—
Share it with Sophie.
Cade rocked back on his heels at the realization that where once the simple knowledge of a spectacular shot had been enough for him, now he needed to share it.
And not with just anyone. With Sophie. The woman he’d walked away from.
You have to be true to yourself, to who you are. You’re special, Cade.
Gracious to the end, Sophie was. As he packed his equipment and made his way back down, his mind was a torrent of images, of questions, difficult ones.
Hours later he was still sorting through the tangle. He’d proved he was still Cade MacAllister, adventure photographer, capable of capturing remarkable images. But where that had once made up the sum total of him, now there was a cavern inside him, a dark, looming maw that adventure could not fill. His gift was no longer everything. No longer enough.
Because now there was Sophie. The woman courageous enough, generous enough, to say goodbye because that was what he’d needed. While he’d hurt her. Hurt himself.
Memories of their last night together washed over him. They’d loved, they’d soared… He’d tried to express with his hands what he couldn’t find a way to say: I love you, Sophie.
Her body had been a feast, and he’d treasured it. But her eyes…they’d known. They’d grieved, though her lips hadn’t said the words.
Don’t leave me. No, she hadn’t said it, and never would. She’d sent him off with a smile, and he’d accepted it as genuine because he’d wanted it to be. Because he didn’t know how not to be solitary. He didn’t know how to share his heart.
Had been scared, crazy scared, that he’d lost the only Cade he knew how to be.
You don’t know what you can become. You’ll figure out what’s most important to you, and heaven knows you’re single-minded enough to make whatever it is happen, his mom had said.
He’d proved that he was back, as good as ever.
But it was no longer enough. It was no longer everything. And she’d seen that—seen him—all along.
Had Sophie written him off already? Had she moved on, thanked her lucky stars she hadn’t yielded that composed core of her that never let anyone all the way in?
You let me come damn close, Sophie. I know you did.
He’d go back, take a battering ram if he had to, break down that wall she’d built out of broken dreams and loss. She needed him as much as he needed her.
Or did she? He went ice-cold with fear. How did he know what she needed? Whether he could make her happy?
He fastened the last zipper on his duffel and rushed to leave for his flight out. She might not want to gamble on him. He had absolutely no experience with sticking around, with being anyone’s rock.
But he had teachers all around him, didn’t he? His brothers, his parents—all had formed bonds, had nurtured others. Maybe he’d stumble a lot, maybe he’d screw it all up.
But he was single-minded, as his mother had said—and he would kill himself trying to be the man Sophie deserved.
If it wasn’t too late. If Queenie hadn’t already slapped crossbars on the portal to her heart.
SOPHIE HAD CLOSETED herself in her small office for a few moments of peace. Studying future bookings might not be anyone else’s idea of a good time, but for a hotelier, seeing the weeks extending outward at full capacity…the thrill was nearly as great as sex.
No. She couldn’t kid herself about that. Cade had ever so vividly demonstrated differently.
Her jubilant mood faltered at the reminder of him, but ruthlessly, she quashed the memories. Thinking about Cade was a losing proposition. He hadn’t even emailed her a photo as he’d promised. He’d been gone three weeks to the day—how she hated that she knew it exactly—and not a word.
It hurt, and it shouldn’t. She’d prepared herself from the beginning, knowing happiness was only ever fleeting. She’d never truly believed he’d return. He was back in his element, doing exactly what he loved.
And so was she. They’d had fun together, and that was enough. The end. Her story still had to be written, and his would be in a different volume, miles and continents away.
Which only made her wonder again if everything was working out for him. Was the sacred mountain the thrill he’d hoped? Was he shooting bushels of photos? Was he healing all right?
Did he ever think of her?
She jammed the heels of her hands into her eyes. Stop that. He’s none of your business. It’s over and done with. Life goes on.
It always had.
One of these days she’d feel strong enough to call Jenna, to resume their friendship. Right now, however, anything related to the MacAllisters hurt too much.
Her eyes fell on the names in the list of future reservations. His parents were coming in a couple of weeks. She wished with everything in her that she hadn’t agreed to host them for their anniversary…and that was wrong. They were wonderful people who’d been there for her when she’d been at her lowest. They still called to check on her periodically, and it wouldn’t be right to hold it against them that they’d raised a son who’d made her fall in love with him when there was no future with him.
All the MacAllisters seemed to find reasons to touch base now and again. Talking to everyone but the MacAllister she really wanted was killing her, but that would end now. She would call Jenna and have her over for drinks. She didn’t feel comfortable leaving the hotel yet—her staff was too new. She was proud of them, though. Hotel Serenity was getting glowing reviews for hospitality, comfort, food… She couldn’t have written them better herself.
And Kurt had been arrested after Sophie’s meeting with one of Jesse’s FBI friends. Maura’s nephew had been given immunity to testify against him, so Maura didn’t have to worry about him going to jail. Maura had also taken it upon herself to ensure the proof of Sophie’s innocence circulated through the industry, and she had her reputation back, particularly after the opening. After the roaring success of the opening bash, she’d been besieged by requests for interviews, and the coverage still continued.
Cade had given her a miracle. That was enough. He hadn’t lied to her—he was who he was. She understood better than anyone about protecting yourself. He believed he had to be free to roam at a moment’s notice, to travel, to take risks. Their careers were incompatible.
Her gaze fell on a present he’d left behind as a parting gift…a shot of her and Finn on the day his family had come to her aid. She’d been tempted to stick it in a closet because looking at it hurt too much, but in the end, she hung it in her office, a piece of Cade she could hold on to. So that she could remember what those heady days had been like.
Queenie. Daredevil blue eyes glinting as he argued, as he teased.
One of these days she would remember without pain.
A knock sounded on her door.
“Yes?”
Trish the desk clerk answered. “Sophie, there’s a package for you.”
“All right. Bring it in.”
A brown-papered rectangle…like certain memorable others. Her heart skipped, but she remained outwardly impassive. “Thank you, Trish.” She smiled and waited for the door to close behind the young woman before she looked at the package.
Sophie’s fingers trembled as she gripped the edges. I can’t open it. She didn’t actually know it was from Cade, did she? She began carefully with scissors but started tearing at the paper almost instantly, then more greedily as she saw what was inside.
“Oh!” Her heart skipped again. “Oh, Cade…” There it was, his sacred mountain, the lake within the circle of the peaks a glistening g
em. It took her a minute to realize there was something out of place. At the corner, so faint others might miss it, was a name traced in the earth in the foreground.
Jaime.
She covered her mouth as her eyes burned. He’d found a way to take his friend there. To make Jaime a part of the place they’d both wanted to go.
“They wouldn’t let me leave a photo of him,” said a voice from the door she hadn’t heard open.
Sophie’s gaze whipped toward him. “Cade.”
His eyes were so serious as he remained standing in the doorway.
“He would have loved it,” she said. She nodded at the photo. “It’s stunning. You did it, didn’t you? Your gift really is back.”
His answering smile was faint. “It seems so.”
“Thank you, I—I didn’t expect…” she stammered.
He uncoiled from the door frame and shoved the door closed as he prowled toward her. “You never expect much of me, do you, Sophie?” He frowned. “Not that I ever gave you any reason to.”
She couldn’t figure out his mood. “Not true. You did so much for me, Cade. Much more than I had any right to expect, certainly more than you should have. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you…”
He grasped her upper arms. Removed the framed photo and set it aside. “You always have a ledger to balance, don’t you? You think that if you keep everything even, then you’ll be safe. That if it’s all tidy and neat, nothing can hurt you.”
She crossed her arms. “I don’t know what you mean.”
His smile was mirthless. “There she is. Hey, Queenie.” His brows snapped together. “We’re a pair, aren’t we? Neither of us willing to let go an inch for fear we might have to let someone in. I hide behind my career, and you hide behind business.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. We keep our distance because it’s less frightening. Because then we never have to open ourselves up to the messiness of real life. To the hurt. You’re afraid of what you could lose, of starting over again—and I’ve refused to start at all.”
“I’m over what I’ve lost.” She stiffened. Took a step back. “I simply realize that balance is important.”
“And I’ve never wanted balance. I haven’t let anything or anyone get between me and the life I wanted—but you know what, Queenie?” His voice went soft. “I stood there on that mountain, taking really great shots of a place I’ve waited most of my career to see…and it meant nothing.” He shook her gently. “Nothing. Because you weren’t there.”
“You can’t think—” She gestured around her. “I couldn’t have gone.”
“I understand that you have to get this place off the ground, that you can’t just hop a plane any time you want, not yet. But even if Hotel Serenity was established, you wouldn’t take a risk on me, would you? Because you might lose me…as you’ve lost too many others you cared for.” She started to object, but he rushed ahead. “And I’m no better. Thinking I was worthless if I wasn’t Cade MacAllister, adventure photographer. Who would I be if I couldn’t wander, if I wasn’t solitary with nothing to tie me down?”
“I don’t know what you want from me.” She couldn’t tear her eyes from him, even as her pulse hammered.
He stared at her intently. “Astonishingly enough, I finally realized I want a home,” he said softly. “And so do you.”
“But your career…”
“It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, Sophie—except in your world, the tidy, orderly one where you don’t take risks.”
“I don’t take risks? What do you think this hotel is? I’ve put everything I have, everything I am, into it.”
“Yeah. Because it’s easier than risking your heart on a person. Insurance can replace a house or a business, but not a broken heart. You’re determined to stay safe from grief and pain, and no one can promise you that.”
Her throat was dry, her palms damp.
“We’ve both gotten a little too cozy with our careers, haven’t we? Careers don’t break your heart. We don’t have to worry about drownings or car wrecks or settling down.” His eyes were tender. “I realized on that mountaintop that what had always filled me wasn’t enough anymore, that there was a gaping hole.” His hand caressed her cheek. “And its name was Sophie.”
“But, Cade…”
“Look, I don’t know how we’re going to manage this—I don’t have a set of plans for us to follow, but you know what? That doesn’t matter. Life doesn’t come with guarantees, and it never will. I’ll have to travel, and you’ll have to stay here a lot—but I’ve spent my whole life refusing to get tied down, only to realize that that refusal is as much a shackle as any chain.”
“But I don’t… I can’t…”
The warmth in his eyes was dimmed by disappointment, and he turned away, his voice cooler. “I’m going to stay in Austin for a while and work on Jaime’s book. I’ve taken some shots of people that are nothing like what I’ve done before but they excite me in a new way—and they don’t require visas and million-dollar expeditions. There might be more to me than I had dared to believe.”
“I believe in you,” she said.
He turned back, and she saw the weariness in him. “But do you believe in us? Just because we’re not the Bradys, does that mean we can’t make our own kind of family?”
“You hate cities. And you don’t want to live in a hotel.”
“Then I guess I’d better get a little more flexible, shouldn’t I?” His gaze was as open to her as she’d ever seen it. “Forget the details for right now. Are you going to let me into your heart, Sophie?”
Her determination was unraveling. “I really can’t travel with you for a while yet, maybe a year.”
“I’ll wait.” He reeled her in, a smile forming. “I’d like to show you the world, but even more, I’d like to be in your world. Is there room for a rolling stone at your inn, Queenie?”
She discovered she’d run out of objections, and that she wanted desperately to meet him halfway. To find a means to mingle their worlds. But… “I’m scared, Cade.”
“I know. So am I.” He held her close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “But I don’t want to keep my distance anymore. How about you?”
She tilted her head back, studied dark blue eyes that were her window on a whole new world. “Me, either.” She swallowed hard, then took the plunge. “I love you, Cade.”
He closed his eyes for a second. When they opened, they held everything she could possibly wish for. “I love you, too, Queenie. Can we just start there, or do we need a damn ledger?”
Laughter bubbled up as her eyes blurred with grateful tears. “I’m already so far in debt I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
“You’re crazy to think you’re the only one who’s been given an incredible gift, but—” he adopted a comical leer “—we did discuss a very attractive form of payment once. It could work well for both parties.”
Heart lighter by the second, she rose to her toes, smiling. “Well, then, here’s the first installment.” She kissed him with all the love she’d been afraid to let herself feel.
Cade picked her up and whirled her until they were both out of breath.
Then he set her down and clasped her so closely to him that she knew exactly what perfect safety felt like. They clung together, each grateful for the miracle of a second chance.
After a bit, Cade leaned back. “There’s just one thing we need to work out right up front, Queenie. I’m sorry to tell you it’s a deal breaker.”
She made herself not stiffen. He’d said he loved her, and though he was trying to look stern, his eyes were dancing, so she went on faith and batted her eyelashes at him. “Oh? Exactly what might that be?”
“Our dog really does want to be called Skeeter.”<
br />
She laughed. “And what do I get in return?”
Cade merely smiled and waggled his eyebrows. “It’s better if I show you.”
Sophie smiled right back. “Deal.”
They sealed their first negotiation with a kiss.
* * * * *
ISBN: 9781459221130
Copyright © 2012 by Jean Brashear
All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
® and ™ are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.
www.Harlequin.com
A Texas Chance Page 22
