Angel Without

by Rhiannon Ayers

  Allen pulled into a parking space in front of the center townhome and cut the engine. He reached over the shifter, squeezed her hands where they lay curled tensely in her lap. “It will be fine, Amber,” he told her softly, earnestly. “Maddox is going to meet us here shortly. All the guys know you’re coming, and they’ll make sure nobody bothers you. You can trust Maddie.” Allen’s brown eyes lit with mischief. “Though, if you call him that, be prepared to face a tirade. Only Sid gets away with calling him that nickname, and he hates it, even coming from her.”

  She smiled, though it was a little wobbly, and took a deep breath. “Are you sure this is going to be okay? I don’t want to be in the way.”

  He shook his head, expression adamant. “You won’t be, I promise. Though I would feel safer with you at our house, really, this is the best place you could be right now. Your father won’t be able to figure out you’re here, even if he does think you came to me for help. Sid and Tatum have made sure their names are nowhere near this place. Even if he does look up the properties they own, he’ll never find this one. You’ll be practically invisible to him. And, with Maddox and his crew crawling all over the place, a fucktard like Wes will think twice before accosting you.”

  She burst out laughing. “Seriously? Fucktard?”

  He winked, grinning hugely. “Made you laugh, didn’t it? Now, come on. Let’s get you inside, and get all that crap out of my trunk. This car is only meant to hold so much, you know.” He gave her a playful scowl. “Why do women need so much goddamned stuff, anyway? Guys can get away with a single duffle bag when we need to. Why the hell do you need to carry around so much crap, anyway?”

  “Hey!” she protested indignantly. “You’re the one who insisted on buying me all that ‘crap.’ It’s your fault.”

  “Children, children,” Sidri said from the backseat, her tone filled with mock suffering. “Please, save the sibling shenanigans for another time, won’t you? We have people to do and places to be. Chop, chop.”

  Snickering at Sidri’s choice of words, Amber threw open her door and stepped out into a gorgeous sun-lit day. The weather had finally warmed a little, and though it wasn’t as warm as it usually was this time of year, it was a lot nicer today than it had been yesterday. She paused next to the car, lifting her face to the sun, eyes closed. What a beautiful day to start her new life.

  Allen popped the trunk, and between the three of them they managed to get most of her stuff together in one go. Sidri led the way to the front door, where a post-it note near the handle informed them the key had been hidden under the mat. Grumbling, Sidri retrieved it, making Amber laugh as the older women threatened bodily harm to the next man who tried to be “logical.”

  “Lord help me, men just don’t think. If we’re coming here with a bunch of bags and suitcases, why would it make sense to hide the damn key under the mat? That just means we’ll have to put all our shit down, dig it out, and pick all the shit back up again. And if you’re going to put a note on the door, telling the whole fucking world where the damn thing is, why bother to hide it in the first place? I swear, men have no more sense than amoebas.”

  Allen rolled his eyes, making Amber laugh all the more, as the three of them piled through the door. They left the bags in a heap in the foyer while Amber took a look around the townhouse that would be her home for the next few days.

  The former owners had apparently been great fans of the color beige. The walls were beige, as were the drapes and the runner on the staircase. The ceiling, trim, and the bannister were all white, though the stairs themselves were some kind of dark wood. The living room wasn’t large, but it was a comfortable enough size, with a huge sectional couch—beige again—taking up two walls of the room. A flat-screen TV was mounted to one wall, with a small shelving unit underneath holding a Blu-ray player and a selection of movies. A stereo system rested on the built-in bookshelves that separated the main room from the kitchen, which she could see a glimpse of through the pass-way beside the stairs. All in all, it was a passably comfortable space, if somewhat drab. She could see herself being happy here. At least for a little while.

  Allen looked around, shaking his head in disgust. “Ugh. Hadn’t these people ever heard of color? I’d go stark-raving mad in here.”

  “Then I guess it’s good I’ll be living here instead of you,” she told her brother cheekily. Allen glowered at her, earning a smile. “It will be fine. I like it, honestly. Very soothing.”

  He snorted. “Very boring. But, to each his own. Let’s check out the bedrooms.” And he led the way upstairs, the two women following behind.

  Upstairs there was a pair of bedrooms, the slightly larger one with an en-suite bathroom being the obvious master. A tidy, narrow bathroom separated the two rooms, with a single shower stall instead of a bathtub. The beige theme continued up here—even the fixtures, both the sink and the toilet, were the same nondescript color. Where the downstairs featured wall-to-wall wood floors, here there was thick carpeting, with diamond-patterned linoleum in the bathrooms. Her bedroom had an enormous king-sized bed that completely filled the room, a small bookcase topped with another flat-screen TV, and a nice walk-in closet. The other bedroom had been converted into an office, with a tiny wooden desk, a couple of filing cabinets, and an enormous potted Fichus tree in one corner.

  Amber burst out laughing when she saw the tree. “A tree? Inside the house?”

  Sidri grinned, flashing her a wink. “Like Allen said, to each his own. Well, let’s start hauling stuff up here. Maddox should be…”

  Just then, as if her words had conjured the man, they heard a deeply masculine voice call up the stairs, “Hello? Anyone home?”

  Amber shivered. Something about that voice echoed right through her whole body, making her nipples tighten instantly. Embarrassed, confused by her body’s reaction, she crossed her arms over her chest and followed the others as they headed for the stairs. She stopped at the top, watching Sidri throw her arms around…

  The most gorgeous man she’d ever seen in her life.

  Oh, my Lord in Heaven. Hel-lo tall, dark, and handsome.

  Maddox Henley was the embodiment of every woman’s wet dream. A little over six feet tall, he had hair the color of espresso, shaved close at the nape and above his ears, but left a little long on top. Amazingly wide shoulders tapered to a trim, narrow waist, followed by long legs encased in the most mouth-watering pair of jeans she’d ever seen on a man’s body. His face was ruggedly handsome, definitely not pretty, with high cheekbones and a long, straight nose over kissable, plump lips. From this angle, she couldn’t quite tell the color of his eyes—some pale color, gray or maybe deep blue. He wore a blue-and-white plaid work shirt, with the sleeves rolled up at the elbows and left unbuttoned over a plain white wife-beater. The undershirt clung to every line and bulge in his hard, cut chest, leaving very little to the imagination. His biceps were huge, so big she doubted she could circle one with both hands, and he was probably double her meager weight of one-hundred-and-five pounds. But not one centimeter of that bulk was fat, his whole body made up of thick, heavy muscle.

  He was, in a word, gorgeous. And she wanted him, instantly.

  No, no, no, this cannot be happening.

  Amber stood there, staring like an imbecile, completely unable to make herself go down the stairs to greet the man who would be looking out for her over the next few days. Because the moment he looked up at her, the moment he met her gaze with those clear, too-knowing gray eyes, she instantly knew that this man could be her dream come true—or her worst nightmare come to life.

  He’s a Dom, her mind gibbered, panic closing her throat. Allen told me he was, but I didn’t believe him. But he is. God help me, he’s a real Dom. And I want him. I can’t want a Dom. I can’t let a Dom touch me. Not ever. I just can’t. I don’t want to want him. I don’t want to want him! Didn’t Allen know anyone who wasn’t a sexual Dominant? Didn’t he know anyone in the godforsaken city who wouldn’t scare the living shit out o
f her?

  Horrible memories crashed over her like a tidal wave. Her ex, Brandon, tying her to his bed and promising a wicked night of never-ending orgasms. And it had been—for him. While he had her helpless, he beat her black-and-blue, using fists, knees, and hands to pummel her body endlessly, jerking himself off over and over.

  And then Wes, raping her in her father’s house. Holding her down, using his greater weight to keep her pinned, forcing his way into her body so she bled. Crying hysterically, begging him to stop, screaming for her father or brother to come rescue her. Looking up to see Robbie, a sick smile on his face, watching everything that was happening to her.

  She never wanted to be in that kind of situation again. Never wanted to make herself vulnerable to any man, much less a sexual Dominant. And yet, here she was, turned on by a Dom, a man who could overpower her in a nanosecond and rip her to pieces, and there wouldn’t be a damn thing she could do to stop it. She didn’t want to be turned on, didn’t even want to consider being intimate with a man, ever again. Her body was betraying her, making her feel things even as she re-lived Brandon and Wes on top of her, hurting her, using her.

  I can’t do this. I can’t be here. I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do this…

  She sat down, hard, on the top step, clutching both hands to her chest as her heart tried frantically to burst out of her ribcage. She was breathing hard, starting to hyperventilate, vision going dark…

  “Amber. Look at me.”

  That voice sent chills down her spine and shot lightning straight to her clit. Gasping, Amber looked down into dark gray eyes that were edged in silver. Maddox stood about four steps below her, one hand on the bannister and the other braced on the opposite wall. He regarded her steadily, eyes soft, his kissable lips drawn down at the corners with a concerned frown.

  “I won’t hurt you, Amber,” he said in that deep, sexy rumble she could feel all the way down to her toes. “I would never, ever hurt you. All I want to do is keep you safe, all right? I only came by to introduce myself. After this, I promise you, you won’t have to see me unless you want to. Okay? Breathe, honey. Just breathe for me.”

  Breathe. Okay, I can do that. She clung to those clear gray eyes, marveling as the silver spread from the edges toward his pupils, like mercury filling a deep, still pond. She could drown in those eyes, float in them forever. Sucking air into her lungs, she felt her heart rate begin to slow.

  “That’s my girl. Just breathe. You’re killing me, sweetheart. Seeing you frightened makes me want to go out and stomp on the twit who’s frightening you, but I can’t very well stomp on myself, now can I?” Maddox asked, his sexy mouth curved in a small smile.

  Picturing the tall, graceful man hopping around, trying to stomp on his own toes, she let out a watery giggle. Maddox beamed, his silver eyes flashing. “Good. That’s good. Good you see you laughing. Can you stand up for me? Take it easy, now. There’s my girl.”

  She shivered. He called me his girl again. He called me ‘his.’ Legs wobbling like a newborn foal, she gripped the banister and hoisted herself to her feet, still unable to pull her gaze from those quicksilver eyes. Maddox reached out a graceful hand, took gentle hold of her elbow to keep her steady. As soon as she was vertical—and they were both sure she wasn’t about to take a nosedive down the stairs—Maddox released her, backing down the steps slowly.

  “I’ll leave you alone,” he told her, though his tone said he wanted to do nothing of the sort. “I’ll be around if you need me, all right? I live next door, the house on the right. If you need anything, any time, don’t hesitate to come find me. But not unless you want to. I promise you, Amber, I don’t want anything but to keep you safe.”

  She managed a nod, holding onto the bannister in a white-knuckled grip. Amber watched as Maddox backed across the foyer, his eyes never leaving hers, until he reached the open door. Once there, he finally broke their staring contest, giving Allen and Sidri a nod before disappearing outside, gone so fast she barely saw him go. The moment he was gone, Allen bounded up the stairs, cupped her face with both hands.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, eyes brimming with concern. “Jesus, Amber. I didn’t think you’d react to him like that. Maddox is gay, remember? He won’t hurt you. I promise, baby sister. Maddox would never, ever hurt you.”

  Amber nodded, her voice having disappeared somewhere around her kneecaps. Holy Christ on a pogo stick, she’d never reacted that way to anyone before. Ever. Not even Sidri had gotten such a knee-melting reaction from her. Maddox was so overwhelming, so very male and so very Dominant, her panties were soaking wet despite the fear that had nearly crushed her.

  But you still want him, a voice whispered in her mind. You still want him, despite his being a Dom. No, not despite it—because of it. He’s everything you ever wanted. Everything you thought Wes was going to be. And yet, you weren’t frightened of Wes, were you? You’ve been afraid of Doms since Brandon tied you up. Yet you threw yourself into Wes’s arms, certain he was the one man who could give you everything you needed.

  When she’d met him, over five months ago now, she’d been certain he would be the man who could fulfill her needs, the man who would cherish and treasure her submissive soul and help set her free. Yet now, after spending five minutes in Maddox’s electrifying company, she knew for absolute certain that Wes was nothing more than a pathetic wannabe, a whiny little boy merely pretending to be Dominant.

  Nothing made sense anymore.

  Then a thought hit her, and Amber sucked in a breath. Holy fuck, that’s it, isn’t it? That’s why I could stand to be around Wes in the first place. He wasn’t Dominant. I wasn’t afraid of him because he wasn’t Dominant. If he had been, I would have reacted to him the same way I reacted to Maddox. To Sidri and Tatum. I haven’t been able to be around Doms since Brandon hurt me. I knew that, lived with that knowledge since it happened, three years ago. Yet, somehow, I convinced myself that Alpha and Dom were the same thing, that Wes was both. He wasn’t. Not even close. Holy fuck, how could I have missed something so obvious?

  How had she missed it? How the hell had she ever mistaken Wes for a Dom?

  “Amber? Amber, honey, are you going to be okay?” Allen slid his hands down to her shoulders, squeezing gently as he studied her face earnestly. “If you can’t be here, if you don’t think you can be comfortable with Maddox, we’ll find you somewhere else. We honestly didn’t think you’d react like that—otherwise, I don’t think Sid or Tatum would have allowed you to come here. You have to talk to me, baby sister. Tell me you’re all right, or we’re leaving, now.”

  She swallowed, cleared her throat. Had to do it several times before finally managing to croak, “No, no, I’m fine. Really, I’m fine. I just…” Amber paused, shivering. “He surprised me, I guess. I’m fine now. I swear.”

  “Uh, huh.” Allen cocked his head, his scowl saying he didn’t buy it for a second. “Do you want to leave?”

  She closed her eyes. Did she want to leave? Could she stand to be this close to a Dom like Maddox? It was only a few days, after all. Just until Sidri and her friends at the police department managed to get the restraining orders put out against Wes and her father, until they managed to unfreeze her bank accounts. As soon as those things were done, she could get out of here, find her own place. She was under no obligation to stay here, had to reason to feel trapped or cornered, just because there happened to be a sexy-as-fuck guy living next door who made her wet just by walking into the room. Besides, Allen said Maddox was gay. So even though he was clearly a Dom, he wouldn’t have any reason to come sniffing after her, submissive or no. Amber had no reason to act like a coward, no reason to take off running like an antelope fleeing hungry lions. And besides, everyone kept assuring her this was the best place she could be, the best place she could hide while she waited.

  She could do it. She would do it. What other choice did she have?

  Opening her eyes, she met her brother’s concerned gaze and managed a smile. “No
, I don’t want to leave. I’ll be fine. Maddox seems like a n–nice guy.” She winced, bit her lip. “It’s my problem, Allen, not his. I’ll get over it. I’ll be fine here. I promise.”

  “You’re sure you can do this?”

  Amber nodded. “I can do it.”

  * * * *

  “I can’t do this,” Maddox snarled, throwing open the front door of his townhouse so hard it left a dent in the drywall. “I can’t fucking do this.”

  “Maddox! Stop!”

  Ignoring Sidri, he strode through the living room and made for the refrigerator, yanking the door open so hard all the condiments rattled together on the shelves. He heard Sidri close the front door as he popped the cap on a beer and chugged half its contents before she finally appeared in the kitchen. Sidri gave him a disgusted look, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed beneath her breasts.

  “Something light a fire up your ass, or do you always react like that when you meet new people?” she asked mildly.

  Maddox scowled, setting the half-empty bottle on the counter with a loud thunk. “Are you fucking serious right now? Did you see how she reacted to me? I can’t do this, Sid!”

  Sidri regarded him calmly, steadily. “Yes, I saw how she reacted to you. I also apparently saw a hell of a lot more than you did.”

  Cursing, Maddox ran both hands through his hair, started pacing around the center island. “She was terrified of me. I walked in the door, and she freaked out like I was there to rape her.”

  She sighed. “Yes, she was frightened. But not of you, Maddox.” When he opened his mouth to protest, she stopped him with a look. “She was frightened of the concept of you,” she told him, absolute sincerity in her voice.