Your Baby Or Mine?

by Marie Ferrarella

  Us.

  Why did that have such a comfortable sound to it? It shouldn’t. They were practically strangers, and besides, he knew better than anyone that you couldn’t get comfortable about things. When you did, your guard was down and that was when life came and hit you between the eyes with a two-by-four.

  The way it had when Christine died.

  He’d learned the hardest way a man could that it was best never to allow yourself to get comfortable.

  Alec crossed to the refrigerator and perused the list. It encompassed all of her hours and different activities, working Andrea’s needs into it. She’d been thorough. “You did all this this morning?”

  “Last night,” Marissa corrected, wiping her hands on the towel. “I couldn’t sleep, so I figured I should do something useful while I was up.”

  “I see.” She was obviously what someone had been thinking of when they’d coined the word workaholic. “Well, you could have started making me a car.”

  She never missed a beat. “Sports car or sedan?”

  He went back for a third cup of coffee, knowing he could have easily finished off the pot. “Don’t you ever kick back, just sit still?”

  That was for idlers, for people without a plan. Her father’s daughter had to have a plan. He’d drummed that into her head early.

  “What for? Life is to be used. And there’s always so much to do. Somehow, it would seem wasteful to just sit and vegetate.”

  “I believe the word is rest.”

  It wasn’t in her nature to be idle. “You rest, I’ll do. That’s what you’re paying me for.” She grinned, looking at him. She had to admit that he had made resting look rather appealing.

  There was a strange glint in her eyes he couldn’t read. “What?”

  Marissa shook her head, but the smile remained. “Nothing.” They were both better off if he didn’t know that she had looked in on him when he was sleeping.

  Alec studied her expression. She had something on her mind. He could tell by her smile. “If you’re working for me, you have to know that I appreciate complete honesty.”

  He wasn’t going to like this. “All right, you asked for it. You look cute ‘resting.’ Sleeping, actually,” she amended.

  A brow rose in surprise. “When did you—”

  She was quick to explain before he could jump to a conclusion. “I got the rooms confused. I thought yours was Andrea’s and I walked in before I realized my mistake. I walked right out again,” she added hastily. But not before the sight had managed to tug at her heart.

  Then it hadn’t been a dream. There had been a woman in his room. Now that he thought about it, the woman he’d thought he dreamed about had looked a great deal like Marissa. There’d been a reason for that. It had been Marissa.

  He’d felt guilty having a sensual dream about a woman other than his wife. Now he knew he wasn’t to blame. She’d been there and her cologne had done the rest. He was innocent.

  Or as innocent as a man could be with someone like Marissa around. She had a way of awakening so many dormant feelings. Feelings he wanted to remain dormant, he reminded himself.

  She bit her lower lip, waiting to see if he was annoyed about the unintended intrusion. He certainly looked as if something was on his mind. “I guess I should say I’m sorry I walked in like that. I didn’t mean to.”

  “Then why are you grinning like that?”

  “It’s because, seeing you like that, you reminded me so much of Willie.”

  “Willie?” The name meant nothing to him.

  “My youngest brother,” she explained. “His hair always fell into his eyes just like yours did, like a sheepdog’s, when he slept.” It had been all she could do to not gently push his hair back from his face, the way she’d always done with Willie.

  She missed Willie, missed the lot of them, she thought. Her brothers and sisters were scattered throughout the country now, each having staked out a different state. They’d slipped away from the family, one by one, like tears in the wind. Letters just weren’t the same.

  Rousing herself, Marissa looked Alec up and down. “I have to admit, you look a great deal more formidable dressed.”

  A tad self-conscious, he straightened his tie. “I hope so. I have to address several dozen people today. I wouldn’t want any of them to think of me as a ‘cute sheepdog.’”

  Her eyes danced as she smiled. “Not to worry.” She picked up his plate and deposited it into the sink. Christopher was beginning to make a fuss, beating his spoon against the high chair’s tray. She coaxed it out of his greasy little fingers and then began to wipe them. “What is it you do, anyway?”

  There were a lot of different facets to his job, but he summarized it for her, giving her the condensed version. “I develop software. Half the time I market it, as well.” No one knew the product he created as well as he did. It was only logical from Rex’s standpoint, that he be the one to make presentations to the various buyers.

  She would have thought that either one would have been enough to keep him busy. “Aren’t they both full-time jobs?” Marissa caught Andrea’s bowl before it hit the floor.

  “Nice save.” He considered her question. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. “At times. I guess that gives us something in common.”

  She smiled at him, feeling something warm and rosy growing within her. “I guess it does.”

  Alec looked at his watch. “Well, I’d better get on the road. Traffic is liable to be a bear.” He had a short distance to travel, but he was taking no chances. There was a lot riding on this meeting.

  She needed a phone number before he left. “Where can I reach you? If I need to call, I mean.”

  Alec took a business card from his wallet and gave it to her. “That’s the number at work, but I’m going to be in a meeting all day, so you probably won’t be able to get me.” He flicked a finger down Andrea’s nose and laughed as she wrinkled it and giggled. “If it’s an emergency, have them page me.”

  Marissa tucked the card into her back pocket. “Will do.” He began to leave. She surprised Alec by following him to the door. “Knock ’em dead.”

  Alec stopped and looked at her before picking up his briefcase. It had been a long time since he’d left the house with a woman’s well-wishes ringing in his ears. It stirred a longing within him for things that no longer were.

  “I’ll do my best,” he told her quietly.

  She’d touched a sensitive spot, Marissa thought, wondering what it was. There was no way to apologize without asking what she’d said that had made him uncomfortable. “That’s all any of us can do. Do you have any idea what time you’ll be home?”

  Ordinarily he would, but not with the meetings in progress. He shook his head, then realized that she wasn’t just making idle conversation before he left. “You have class tonight, don’t you?”

  She nodded. Digging into her pocket, she pulled out a folded piece of yellow lined paper. “I made a copy for you.” It was a duplicate of the schedule she’d put on the refrigerator. He frowned as he looked it at. “Don’t worry. If you’re late getting home, call. I’ll get someone to cover for me.”

  One day into the arrangement and he was already reneging on his word. She probably thought it was a sign of things to come. “In your class, or with Andrea?”

  She didn’t want to start out on the wrong foot and make him think that she was being cavalier. “I know an excellent baby-sitter,” she assured him. “She had a great model when she was growing up.”

  “You?”

  Dimples winked. “You guessed.”

  He glanced down at the paper she’d handed him. Her class began at six-thirty. “I’ll be back in time.” He’d make a point of it. He wasn’t the only one making a presentation to the group. He’d see to it that he went first.

  Marissa nodded. Was it her imagination, or did he look uneasy? “Great.”

  She was standing too close. Memories of bygone days shimmered in his mind. For one small moment he
suddenly had the urge to kiss her goodbye, the way he’d always done when he’d left Christine.

  But she wasn’t Christine. And he wasn’t the man he’d been then, either. Not for a long time now.

  Picking up his briefcase, he shoved the paper she’d given him into his pocket. “I’ll see you tonight.” He didn’t wait for her to say goodbye.

  Marissa stared at the closed door. Now what was all that about? One second, she could have sworn he looked as if he was going to kiss her, the next, he was leaving, abruptly slamming the door behind him as if he thought she was going to follow him all the way to work.

  Mr. Alec Beckett was not an easy man to understand. Shrugging, Marissa returned to the kitchen. She had a lot to do before he came walking through that door again.

  Chapter Seven

  Alec was determined not to be late. He’d set his alarm for seven, an ungodly hour to be getting up on a Sunday, but those were the breaks when you were helping to nurture a fledgling software company that paid you a sinful amount of money for the use of your brain. They figured that the body just went along with it, like a matched set.

  His body would have rather remained in bed, but there was no way around going out today. With a sigh, he got up.

  He had to admit that up until now, they had been pretty flexible for him. It seemed only fair to repay the favor when they asked. And this hectic schedule was only temporary.

  Besides, now he had help he could rely on.

  With Marissa in his life. Alec thought, turning the shower on high, things had really fallen into place. She’d come in and had everything organized within a day, just like a benevolent drill sergeant—with curves. Had to be her army background.

  Whatever it was, he was grateful for it. Looking back, Alec had absolutely no idea how he had managed all this time without her. Here only a little more than a week—a week and a half to be exact—and she had everything running as if there was a Swiss watchmaker behind each separate component.

  Andrea was thriving, he had hot meals on the table, and there was someone waiting for him when he got home at night, someone who made intelligent conversation. Albeit, three nights the conversation had been abbreviated because she had to get to her classes, but a little bit of something good was better than a huge slice of nothing at all. Or worse, complaints. Ellen, the last nanny, always had a litany of grievances to go over as soon as he walked through the door. This was like a piece of heaven.

  He did feel slightly guilty because, so far, he hadn’t been able to live up to his side of the bargain. He’d had to go into the office every day this week and hadn’t been able to help out on Wednesday as promised.

  Undaunted, Marissa had taken both Andrea and Christopher to the college day-care center with her. He had tried to make amends by paying for Christopher as well as Andrea, but he still felt that he owed her one.

  One? Hell, he owed her a lot more than one, he amended, stepping out of the shower. He grabbed a towel and quickly passed it over his body. For the way she was making everything run so smoothly, he’d probably be in debt to her for the rest of his life.

  Don’t get carried away, he warned the wet, bedraggled reflection in the bathroom mirror. It didn’t pay to get caught up in things. You get caught up, carried away, and then, one morning you wake up and-there’s no foundation under you, so you go plummeting down to earth with a resounding crash.

  Alec didn’t intend on being slam-dunked twice in his life. He was a fast study and once was more than enough for him to learn his lesson.

  Hurrying into his clothes, he blow-dried his hair and then ran a comb through it. He needed a haircut, he thought, looking into the mirror. Something else to put on the evergrowing list he never got a chance to fully deplete.

  Absently, he wondered if Marissa cut hair. She seemed to be able to do just about everything else with a certain amount of flair. What kind of a jerk had her ex been, letting a woman like that go?

  If she was his wife—

  His thoughts abruptly halted. She wasn’t his wife, she was Andrea’s nanny and that was all she was. All she was going to be. He couldn’t allow the lines to get blurred just because of one slightly sensual dream.

  Slightly sensual. Yeah, right. Just like Phoenix was slightly hot in the middle of summer.

  He had to exercise better control over his thoughts than that, or he was going to wind up regretting it.

  As he made his way down the stairs, he became aware of music. A jazzy little number that pulsed through him. Exercise music, he thought, recognizing Marissa’s tastes. Judging from the source, Marissa and company were in the family room.

  The beat and the accompanying sound of childish laughter guided him into the room. He stopped just short of the doorway.

  Marissa was on the floor with the children. That was nothing new. Alec hazarded a guess that she was probably on the floor with the children almost as much as she was upright. As he surmised, she was doing exercises. But these, she was doing alone. The children were only watching. He didn’t blame them. She was wearing leggings and a leotard instead of her customary baggy, comfortable shirt.

  The outfit she had on now might also make her comfortable, but it was having the exact opposite effect on him. The dark green leotard hugged every curve, every dip of her body as she twisted and turned, moving as effortlessly and supplely as a spring breeze.

  Fascinated, he remained where he was, forgetting that he was supposed to be on his way to somewhere else.

  She wasn’t wearing a bra, he realized as Marissa stretched and bent backward, her head touching the floor just above her feet. The material stretched along the firm, athletic body, making him warm. He roused himself.

  How the hell could she bend that far? he marveled. He’d break in two if he tried something like that. It hurt him just to look at her.

  It hurt him just to look at her, he thought again, the words playing along his mind, this time with a completely different meaning.

  He wasn’t aware that he sighed, but she was. Surprised, she turned in his direction.

  Marissa flushed, rising. “I didn’t realize I had an audience.”

  “I was just leaving.” But he wasn’t. He was just standing. And staring. Suddenly aware that he was, he cleared his throat. “How do you do that?”

  “With lots of practice.” Marissa picked up a towel and dried off the sheen of perspiration at her neck. He was dressed as if he was going to the office. For a man who was supposed to work out of his house, he certainly wasn’t in it very much. “That’s a little formal for breakfast, isn’t it?”

  “I’m on my way out To an unofficial meeting,” he clarified. There was a long, thin dark stain that ran down the front of her leotard. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. Off her.

  Marissa draped the towel over the back of her neck, holding on to the ends. She looked at him in surprise. “You work on Sundays, too?”

  Guilt nibbled at him. He hadn’t spent nearly enough time with Andrea this week. He’d even had to skip the Baby and Me classes. He knew Andrea wasn’t old enough to mind, but he was, and did. “Not usually.”

  Marissa hadn’t been here long enough to know about “usually.” It seemed to her that the man was almost married to his job. That wasn’t healthy for anyone, especially not his daughter.

  But it wasn’t her place to lecture. Still, she couldn’t help nudging his conscience along just a little. “I thought you told me that you worked at home a few days a week.”

  He knew what he’d said and knew that it seemed as if he’d lied. He hadn’t meant things to go this way, but it was out of his hands. Things would get back to normal again soon. In the meantime, she’d have to bear with him.

  “I do. Just, it seems, not this week.”

  Alec watched as she bent to pick up Andrea before the little girl crashed into the coffee table. Murmuring something into her ear, Marissa placed her in the playpen. Andrea began gnawing on her plastic blocks.

  “You, too, young man.” Marissa sc
ooped up her son and placed him next to Andrea. Christopher began gathering blocks together, ready to duplicate his escape trick. But the blocks were plastic, not wooden, and flattened beneath his feet. “Gotcha,” Marissa laughed.

  Frustrated, Christopher tried again as Andrea looked on. The two children, much to Marissa’s relief, were getting along beautifully.

  Alec joined her beside the playpen. “I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’re here.” His train of thought almost disappeared as she turned to look at him. The effect her eyes had on him grew rather than diminished with familiarity. “I really don’t know what I would have done without you.” The words seemed to dribble out of his mouth slowly. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I promise that I’ll make it up to you when I get back.”

  Marissa shrugged. She smoothed down one lapel that was turned slightly. Her fingers lightly brushed against his chest. Beneath the fabric, he felt rock solid. “There’s nothing to make up. I’m the nanny. I’m supposed to be watching Andrea.”

  He had to concentrate to form words. Why did standing close to her cause every last drop of moisture to evaporate from his mouth? “But I also agreed to work around your schedule, not you around mine.”

  She smiled, her eyes crinkling. “Yes, I vaguely remember that was the deal.”

  Maybe it was the coward’s way out, but it was his only option. He took a step back, away from her. “And you’ve done much more than any nanny could. I can’t believe you’ve only been here a week.”

  “That’s because it’s a week and a half.”

  He inclined his head, accepting the correction. “See, you keep better track of things than I can. I swear, Marissa, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a godsend.”

  “You can say it,” she said as she turned her attention to their surroundings. “I don’t mind.” She’d finish exercising later, when he was gone. Right now, the family room was a veritable obstacle course, littered with toys. Marissa began picking them up and chucking the toys into the huge box in the middle of the room. There were enough things here to stock a toy store, she thought.