Every Serengeti Sunrise

by Rula Sinara

  “I don’t think it’ll help. Lying here feels good, though.”

  “It does. Nature is good medicine.”

  “You would know.” Maddie turned her cheek to the cool grass. “How are your patients doing? The children at that one village you said were having respiratory issues? Did the water sample show anything?”

  “I’m not entirely sure yet. There were elevated levels of a few contaminants, but then some of their problems have been nonspecific, so it’s hard to say what caused them. Respiratory issues, rashes, neurological symptoms and two newborns with birth defects. What bothers me is that I found out that a company was testing an area just north of the village for oil. They were fracking. If they end up taking over that land for oil production, I don’t know what the villagers will do. My gut tells me it’s a groundwater contamination issue. If I find out it is, I’ll fight. Maybe I’ll ask your law office for help. If you lived here, I’d ask for you specifically.”

  So much for changing subjects. They were right back at law.

  “Mom, I have a feeling you’ll be playing interference when Dad finds out my side won.”

  Hope crinkled her nose and shrugged.

  “Maybe, but honestly, Maddie, I don’t think you need me stepping in. Don’t ever let anyone—not even your father or myself, or the lawyers you work for—intimidate you. There’s a big difference between showing respect and cowering under authority. Everyone starts at the beginning. Just because someone is older or has one title or another, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re wiser than you. Why do you think you were sent here?”

  “Because of my experience in Kenya, my language skills...and because the higher-ups have more important things to do.”

  “Because you’re exceptional at what you do. Because you’re valued. Because you have a passion for helping people. I’ve always seen it in you and I wasn’t surprised when you decided to go to law school.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Always a bookworm. Always standing up for the underdog. Even when I first met you, I recognized your reserved, inner strength. You knew what you wanted and nobody was going to get in your way. I’ll never forget the time you snuck the first of those silver bangles I gave you to school in your backpack and ended up getting in trouble with another student over it.”

  Maddie grinned.

  “School had too many rules.”

  “You never did like being put in a box. I once told your father not to worry, that when you found your voice again, you’d put every word to good use.”

  She didn’t like being put in a box. Why did the image of her apartment back home come to mind?

  “So, my dear, you need to hold your chin up and not let anyone make you feel less than what you are. Own yourself. Own your style, even if it’s different. Own your beliefs, even if others disagree. Carry yourself with dignity because you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  What about shame in letting herself fall for the same man her cousin and best friend had staked her claim on? Her mom had no idea how much guilt she packed.

  “Some people are confident enough to take someone like you under their wing and nurture them, give them opportunities, because they know that life is about giving back,” Hope continued. “I have a feeling your boss is like that. But you’ll always come across individuals who feel threatened or who are competitive to the point of destroying those around them. Usually, they want what you have, be it a job, family, money...even talent and passion. They’re insecure and jealous and feel the need to put you down in order to climb higher. They step on heads left and right and surround themselves with people they believe to be weaker than they are because it makes them feel good. Those are the ones to watch out for and sometimes they’re hard to spot. You’re smart, but you’re also trusting.”

  “Bullies.” She thought of her junior colleagues back at the firm.

  “Exactly.”

  “You’re calling Dad a bully?”

  “Oh, gosh, no.” Hope chuckled and sat up on the grass.

  “He treats me differently than my brothers. He thinks I’m less capable because I’m a woman.”

  “I disagree. It has nothing to do with you being a woman. I’ve never felt anything other than love, respect and adoration from him, and the last time I checked, I was a woman, too. Part of what makes us work is that we both stand up for what we believe, neither of us hesitates to speak our mind and—most important—we both listen to what the other is saying. If necessary, we have a sense of humor about it. I’ve even been told that your uncle Jack didn’t joke around as much before he married Anna. Love loosened him up. It puts things in perspective. We come from a family of strong men and women. And a man who can accept and admire a woman’s strength is a real man. Maddie, you have to know that your father is so extremely proud of you.” Hope reached for her bottle of soda, took a swig and offered it to Maddie. “The man can be rough on the surface,” she continued, “but his heart is in the right place. My point is that you were bullied in school, back when you struggled with speaking. Your father and I have both dealt with people like that in our lives, mostly when we were older, in the workforce. When he saw it happening to you, it ate away at him like gangrene. That’s why he’s so protective of you. So try not to take everything he says the wrong way.”

  Maddie nibbled at her lip to keep it from quivering.

  “We’ll see.” She needed time to process what her mom was saying. Her view of her dad was so different. She took a sip of the ginger drink; then they both lay back down in the grass.

  “How was everyone at Busara? How’s Haki doing?”

  It took a minute to formulate an answer. The mere mention of his name made her mind spin.

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Mmm.” They were silent for a moment.

  “What about Noah and Huru?”

  “They seem fine.”

  “And Pippa?”

  Maddie knew where this was leading. Hope was a master of misdirection, circling back to the subject at hand once the door was open.

  “She’s still mourning Bakhari.”

  “I heard. They must all be devastated.”

  “More than you know. I think it’s better that I left. They need time alone.”

  “Maddie, sweetheart, are you running away from something?”

  She closed her eyes and tried to take in the fresh air, but it didn’t help this time. Was she running away?

  “What’s there to run from?” She and Haki had agreed there wasn’t anything they could do about their feelings. She was gone and he could get back to life with Pippa and that was that.

  “You tell me.”

  “I’m just tired, Mom. I mean, it does bother me that, although the proposal won’t pass, the problem with the farmers and the elephants still isn’t solved. There are two sides to every issue and every case, right? And I saw why Haki felt so strongly about that proposal. I saw Bakhari’s body.” A tear escaped the corner of her eye and trailed down her temple. “It was awful. And here I am, case won...and I’m supposed to walk away. The rest isn’t up to me to fix. It’s not part of the mission they sent me out here on. We won, so why do I feel like a failure?”

  “Perhaps because those who work the hardest and achieve the most are often the ones who are the hardest on themselves. You’re not a failure. You never have been. But the girl I know doesn’t do things halfway. She goes above and beyond. Sees things through. I think that’s what’s bothering you.”

  “I don’t have a choice. It’s not part of my job description. Haki is on his own now. He’ll have to find a way to solve things by himself.”

  “That doesn’t sound like two people on opposing sides of a case.”

  Maddie wiped the corner of her eye and swallowed the tears at the back of her throat.

  “Well, he’s
the one who took me to the villages. I guess you could say we understand each other.” She quickly turned toward Hope. “I mean, regarding the case. We came to appreciate both sides of the issue and neither of us wants the other side to suffer.” Not the Masai, or the elephants...or Pippa.

  “Maddie, I get the feeling that there’s something you’re not saying. I know it’s none of my business and I won’t press you, but if something is going on, running away never solves it. Trust me, I know.”

  “Nothing is going on.”

  “Okay. If you say so. But I still think you’ll feel better if you take a few days to look into solutions on your own and then at least share them with Haki before you leave. That way he can decide whether to act on them after you leave Kenya and you’ll feel like you did your best. And it would give you some time to spend with Ryan and Philip, too.”

  Maddie took a deep breath. How could she possibly return to Busara with Pippa on the defensive? Hope was right, though. She was running away to protect them all, including herself. But she was also turning her back on the wonderful people she’d met in the villages, and on the elephants her family at Busara was trying desperately to protect. If anything, her role in all of this made her a traitor. Weren’t traitors banished?

  “I can probably stay here a few more days, even with the case over early. I’ll see what I come up with, but promise me you won’t tell Dad about our talk?”

  “Why would I do that? As far as I’m concerned, girl time is girl time.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I know you said he means well, but he still does things his way, and the last thing I need right now is him jumping in. Could you imagine how he’d react if he thought my seniors were limiting me at work? He’d probably march over to the firm here and have a talk with my bosses to ‘straighten things out.’ He’d do all the interrogating, too, about why I’m not being given cases to try in court or why I did all the behind-the-scenes work on this one, but got no other recognition. It would be career death for me. If I didn’t die of embarrassment first.”

  “He does hover and worry. Ben is a bit like a marine general crossed with a little grandmother.”

  That image made them both laugh. Some of Maddie’s tension left her body and sank into the ground beneath her. She and Hope stretched out their arms and legs and stared up at the branches.

  “This is meditation at its best,” Maddie said.

  “Yes. I should write it on prescriptions for patients. Lie down barefoot in the grass, fifteen minutes, twice a day. They’d think I’d lost it. Hmm I could take a nap right now.”

  “Me, too,” Maddie said, closing her eyes.

  She heard the screen door to the house open and close.

  “You two could have put a sign up saying that you’re just playing dead. Kind of a scary scene for a man to come home to.”

  They opened their eyes. Ben was grinning. He held out a hand for Hope. She took it, and he pulled her up into his arms and kissed her like she was the best thing he’d seen all day. Maddie loved seeing them like that. That’s what she wanted in life. The Laibon’s warning rang in her head and she sat up and pushed her hair back.

  “Hi, Dad.” He held a hand out for her, too, then wrapped her in a hug.

  “How’s it going, Mads?” He kissed her on the head.

  “Great.”

  “Let me grab these files. I can finish them later. We should get some dinner started. I told Delila to take the rest of the day off with Jamal,” Hope said.

  “I’m hungry enough to eat leftovers, if you need to get work done. Where are the boys?” Ben asked.

  “Babysitting for Simba and Chuki.”

  Maddie cocked an eyebrow. “Together? Isn’t that asking for trouble?”

  “Chuki’s sister, Ita, will also be there.”

  “That’s worse. She’s pretty.” Ben chuckled and put his arm around Hope as they headed inside.

  “So, did you drop the case yet?” he asked, peeling a banana as an appetizer.

  Maddie and Hope glanced at each other.

  He finished off the banana in two bites. “Did I miss something?”

  “The proposal won’t be making it to the cabinet for review. It was dropped on humanitarian grounds,” Maddie said.

  “That fast?” Ben frowned. “But you just got back from Busara. Don’t you have to appear in court?”

  The muscle between Maddie’s shoulder blades cramped. So much for relaxing in the grass. Hope had encouraged her to show her strength and to be confident. She needed to own her beliefs, even if her dad didn’t agree with them.

  “I emailed them the information and video testimonies they needed. The partners here took care of the rest.”

  “But that sounds like something a secretary or assistant could do. You’re supposed to be a top-of-your-class lawyer.”

  “Wow.” It was the only word Maddie could get out.

  “Ben, that wasn’t nice,” Hope added.

  “Sorry, but I’m just saying. They’re using you. Are they paying you enough to make up for that?”

  “I don’t technically practice law in Kenya, Dad. I’m not in a position to act as barrister in a court here.” She could have left it at that. A part of her wanted to let him read between the lines and assume she tried cases in Philly. This was why she wanted partnership so badly. To prove herself to her father.

  The only shoes you have to fill, Maddie, are your own. Jamal’s voice echoed in her mind. Her own comfortable shoes. Not red high heels or combat boots. Own yourself. Her mom was right. If Maddie wanted partnership, it needed to be because she wanted it, because she could use the position to do more for the causes she believed in, not because she needed it to prove something to someone else.

  She gripped the edge of the countertop. “Do you know what? I haven’t presented my own case before a judge back home yet, either. Not because I’m being used, but because that’s the way things work. I’m a new graduate. A junior lawyer. It’s not the only profession out there where responsibility and privilege are earned. Or where rank is earned. I thought, as a marine, you’d understand that.”

  Her dad flinched. Hope, who was looking in the refrigerator behind him, gave Maddie a quick thumbs-up.

  “Okay. I get that. I just don’t want you being taken advantage of.”

  “I appreciate that, but trust me, I can take care of myself.”

  He didn’t look convinced, but at least he didn’t argue the point.

  “That doesn’t change the fact that they had you fighting against a bill that your family was behind. One that could have saved lives.”

  “We were representing Native Watch Global! Don’t you think they save lives and protect quality of life? Not everything you stand for is right, Dad.”

  “I stand behind my family. Is that wrong in your book?”

  “Of course not.” She pressed her fingers to her eyes, then splayed her hands in frustration. What would it take to get through to him? “I have my own mind and my own voice. You know I care about animals. All living things are sacred. I was out there and I saw firsthand what poachers do. It’s sick and unfathomable, and I do care. But sometimes we have to make tough choices.”

  “This one seemed like a no-brainer to me. Like a case where NWG would get your firm a lot of publicity.”

  “Really? That’s what you think? For the record, when I make a decision, it’s mine. My burden to carry, not yours. If a little boy and a baby elephant were caught in quicksand and I could only save one, I would save the little boy. Do you think the other life lost wouldn’t haunt me? If all of your children were in a burning house and you could only save one, which of us would it be?”

  Something in his face shifted and his skin paled. Hope shook her head at Maddie. She’d gone too far.

  “Don’t answer that, Dad. I don’t want to know. I’
m just making the point that my choices and mistakes are mine to make.”

  Ben pressed his lips together and stared at the kitchen table. Hope put her hand on his shoulder and offered him a glass of cold water.

  “Honey, maybe you should go relax in front of the television for a bit. I think you’ve both made your points for the day.”

  Ben took the glass and moved toward the arched doorway that joined the kitchen and family room. He stopped next to Maddie and finally looked at her.

  “That scenario with the burning house you asked me about? I was faced with that choice during my first marine deployment. They weren’t my kids, but their faces haunt me to this day. I hope you never, ever have to make a decision like that in your life.”

  * * *

  PHILIP’S BEDROOM DOOR was ajar and Maddie could see him hunched over a textbook. She knocked before pushing the door open.

  “Hey, you’re back. Mind if I come in?”

  “No, I’m on my last problem and then I’ll be done with homework.”

  “How was babysitting?”

  “Meh. Ryan’s still over there.”

  She was pretty sure babysitting wasn’t the reason he was still there. She sat up against Philip’s headboard and pulled her knees to her chest. His pewter-gray walls were filled with wooden floating shelves that displayed various collections. Most of the items looked antique—inkwells and fountain pens, WWII airplane models and bins of comic books.

  “There. Done,” he said, stuffing his books into his backpack and setting it aside.

  “You like math?”

  “Not really. It’s probably my worst subject.”

  “If it makes you feel better, I never liked it, either. What subject’s your favorite now? I noticed your World War II stuff on that shelf. Planning to follow in Dad and Chad’s footsteps?”

  Boy, that really was a terrible expression. How was one was supposed to fill their own shoes and leave their own footprints in this life if they were always trying to fill someone else’s? Her brother’s eyes lost the spark they’d held when she entered the room.