“Stephen” my mother calls, breaking me from my daydream. “Stop daydreaming child, go help your father finish unloading.”
WTF! Seriously, when did that woman become physic? Goddamn, she is annoying today. Her excitement is evident, but I’m just not feeling it.
“Yeah, Yeah” I shout back. The last thing I wanted to be doing today is lugging our shit up these fucking stairs. Surely, we could have dished out some dough to get a moving company to handle this.
Three and a half hours later, plus a couple of fatherly lectures on top, we are done. Thank holy Fuck!
My lack of enthusiasm for the day has been duly noted and not taken too kindly either. Both my mom and dad have thrown around comments about my shitty attitude. Not that I personally give a fuck, but I would rather avoid any confrontation with them, right now.
“What’s really troubling you, Nevan?” my father asks. He is using their nickname for me, meaning he is going with the I’m your best mate approach. I have to crack a tiny smile. He really has become predictable over the years.
Nevan was the nickname given to me by my older cousin when I was a couple of years old. Nick used to spend a lot of time with us while his parents worked, but couldn’t pronounce my name properly. When he first learned to talk, that’s what he used to call me, and it stuck. Over the years, my parents have adopted it as well. I suppose it could be worse.
“I don’t think I have to voice it, dad, I’m sure you already know what is bothering me,” I spit back at him harshly. Turning my face away from him, I would rather not have him notice my expression, as I continue. “You didn’t even consult me. Both you and mom took it upon yourselves to decide what was best and then you ran with it.” Returning my attention, my face hardens, outrage overtaking my tone. “What about what I want?”
“What do you mean, ‘What you want’?” he replies in a tone that rivals my own. It’s as if he is exasperated with me. “This is all you four boys have spoken about for years.” Okay, I guess I should have seen that one coming.
Sitting on the bottom step, I rub my hands over my face, sighing. “Yes, for the last two years, that’s all we did want. Well, until Sophie bombarded our lives.”
“Don’t you mean Sherlyn?” he softly adds.
You could say he had me there, only I’m not ready to admit anything to him, or even maybe myself. I don’t want to believe that this shy girl has that sort of power over me. Glancing up, I notice his worried eyes focused directly on me.
Sighing once more, I try to give him some comfort, remorsefully telling him, “Don’t stress dad, I’m fine. I just would have liked to be included in the conversation. There were other factors to take into consideration.” The look on his face is grave; I know that he is concerned.
“We never considered how you would feel when we made this decision,” he confesses. “It was always our understanding, that as soon as it was all over, we would move home.”
Slinking against the wall, I admit to him, that two years ago, this may have the case, but at some point, our lives had changed. He just nods, and we return to unloading the truck in silence. I have to say, I prefer the silence right now. There are just some things I don’t feel comfortable speaking to him about. To do that, would involve me opening up. Unfortunately, this is something I’m not possible of doing. Helping Dad bring in the last of our crap, he finally gives me the all clear to go. Heading up the staircase, I feel my ass vibrate. I forgot my phone was still in my pocket. Taking it out, I notice a text from Sherlyn. Just the thought of her brings a smile to my face. We left about five days ago, and I believe, I may be missing her already.
Sherlyn – Hey! Just checking in to see how the move went, and to make sure everyone made it back alive
Chuckling, I can only assume she is referring to the fact that I have spent these past five days stuck in a truck with my father.
Me – Hey you! Move went fine, everybody is still alive and kicking (barely) ;) Have just finished helping dad unload the last of our crap.
Just thinking of her somehow removes some of the heaviness that I had been feeling earlier. I wish I could rationalize how she makes me feel. She has me drawn to her, like a fly to a spider’s web.
Sherlyn – Does that mean you are hibernating now? ;) How does it feel to be back? Any word on the others? Sophie is driving me mad waiting to hear news on Ben.
Laughing aloud, I imagine Soph grating on everyone’s nerves, worrying about Ben. His parents chose to fly back, letting someone else deal with their furniture. His mother was just as excited to be heading back as mine was, but she wanted to get back to clean before their furniture arrived.
Me – Are you reading my mind gorgeous? I was just thinking of hibernating for the rest of the day. No word on anyone else yet, but when I hear I will let you know. It feels weird.
Sherlyn – Did I not mention, I became physic recently It feels weird without you here, I miss you x
She misses me, how do I respond to that? It feels weird without me. Fuck! I can relate to that. It feels more than just weird not having her close to me. What the fuck is this girl doing to me?
Me – Ditto…
I want to tell her I miss her, that I wish she were by my side, but I don’t want to fill her head with hope.
I want nothing more than to strip her of her clothes, so I can investigate every inch of skin, on her curvaceous body. I make no secret of this; I’m only a man, after all. It’s just that I can’t offer her any more than sex, that is. It is all I’m capable of. I know nothing of love anymore. The temptation to seduce her on many occasions had been really strong, but I couldn’t bring myself to use her like that. For obvious reasons she is different, unlike anyone I have ever known before. I didn’t want the guilt of her pain on my conscience, so I never crossed that line.
Why do I care? It’s a question I have asked myself often, lately, and under normal situations, I wouldn’t. What do I classify as normal? I can’t really answer that either, but for reasoning beyond my control, I do care where Sherlyn is concerned. There have been a few times when we came close to going further than just kissing, getting caught up in the passion. It always ended up with me pulling back, cock-blocking myself. Stopping, before anything more could happen. I don’t get why I can’t finish the job. She is god damn gorgeous. Fuck, just having her walk into the room makes me hard instantly. In fact, just thinking of her now is making my cock stand to attention. It’s as if, this part of me remembers the little things about her, that make it want to come out and play.
Sherlyn – One day Stephen, you will have to admit there is something between us. You can’t live in denial forever. I will leave you alone tonight, just wanted to see how the move went. Talk to you later x
Once again, what the fuck! What is she doing to me? It has been a long time since a chick has had me in knots like this. I want nothing more than to have her warm my bed. The thought of her splayed out naked next to me, makes me harden more.
Me – We have had this discussion darling. I can’t offer you what you need. There is no denial on my part, just reality. I will let you know when I hear from the others. Sleep tight my dream girl x
My phone dings before I get the chance to put it down, god that girl is quick with her replies.
Sherlyn – Your texts are confusing. One minute your words tell me you want me. The next minute you don’t. When we are together, there is a connection. I don’t understand. Goodnight my dream boy x
Fuck me! This girl is going to be the death of me. I really don’t think I can do this right now. There is no way I am going to allow anyone else into my heart to destroy it again. I’m way too exhausted for this kind of conversation right now. The move has taken more out of me than I thought.
Goddamn, if that didn’t kill the mood. I was getting ready to relieve some of this pent up frustration, but my cock has softened instantly after Sherlyn’s last text. My body is going to reabsorb my balls at this rate. This cock of mine has not seen any action si
nce Sherlyn came onto the scene. I’m getting tired of doing it myself. At this rate, I will develop carpal tunnel in my wrist. Throwing my phone on the draws next to me, I rest my arm over my face. So fucking tired. Tired of everything. Maybe the distance between us is for the best. She is making me lose my grip on what I believed I wanted. Fuck, I miss her, though, I think as I allow the exhaustion to overtake my body.
Chapter Two
Sherlyn
Oh my god, that boy is frustrating. When will he realize that there is something going on between us, and act on it? Is it going to be left up to me to make the first move? The fact that he is now four thousand kilometers away from me, does not help my cause either. When I texted him, I just wanted to make sure he arrived safely, but after putting down my phone I find that I am more conflicted than I was before he left. He makes my head want to explode. One minute he is all go, then he shuts off like a tap. I am not buying his bullshit story about not being able to give me what I want either. He is holding back, as if something is stopping him from moving forward and I aim to find out what it is.
More to the point, I can’t believe his parents chose to drive. It’s like a forty-odd hour trip. I knew that they were planning to stay in motels along the way, but it is still a long journey. They didn’t want to waste money organizing someone to ship it back to California for them, so they packed it all up themselves and hired a rental truck.
From what I believe, Stephen was traveling with his dad in the truck, and his mom followed in their car.
I have not seen him in five days, and I miss him more than I thought I would. I think I just got used to having him around every day.
I am not the only one suffering, though. Sophie is currently pacing around our bedroom. Ben and his parents flew out this morning. He promised to contact her as soon as they arrived. I hope he calls soon, or I will have to gag her to keep her quiet. Like civilized people, they decided to pack up, and let someone else move their furniture. Ben’s mom wanted a chance to give their home a spring clean before it all arrived. Some distant relatives had been house sitting for them, moving out the prior weekend.
Kyle and Luke, along with their families had flown back yesterday. Neither Kyle’s, nor Luke’s families, bothered with their furniture. They decided to donate it to charity instead. Seems that they left their houses fully furnished. They only took their personal effects with them. I’m not sure what happened with their homes while they were gone, I can only assume they were looked after as well.
As of yet, we are still waiting to hear from them.
“For god’s sake, Sophie, would you sit down please? Your pacing is making me dizzy,” I cry out. The flight itself should have taken just under five hours, but Ben flew out at seven thirty this morning. Seeing as though it is a little after six in the evening, you would image he should have arrived by now. Before Sophie can respond to me her phone rings, and judging by the grin on her face it has to be Ben.
About bloody time! Leaving the room, I give Soph a quick wave, mouthing that I will be back, and shut the door. I do not want to have to sit through their lovey dovey crap anyway.
Walking down the hall, I notice Sean’s door slightly ajar, I wonder if he is back. We have not seen him much over the last month. As I reach his door, it opens suddenly, scaring the bejesus out of me.
Jumping out of my skin, Sean grabs hold of my arms to stable me. “Sorry Sheri, I didn’t mean to scare you, I never saw you there,” he tries to soothe, pulling me into him for a hug to apologize. His hard body squashes me like a tomato, forcing a shiver from my own at his touch.
“I’m not used to having that extra person living here. You are so much quieter than that sister of mine.” Sensing what he is doing to me, he releases his hold taking a step back. I laugh quietly.
I can’t believe my body has betrayed me like that. It went all fangirl on me, highlighting my inexperience around the opposite sex. All that aside, whilst trying to calm my oversensitive raging hormones, I smile at the fact that Sean really does know his sister well. There is definitely nothing quiet about that girl! It has been an adjustment for me, having to share a room with her. Honestly, though, I love it. I wouldn’t change a thing.
“It’s all good Sean. It has been an adjustment for all of us.” I reply. “And yes, there is not a single thing about your sister that is quiet, you are correct there.” Laughing back at me, he entwines his arm in mine, dispensing the awkwardness of the moment, as we make our way toward their kitchen.
“In all seriousness, though, are you settling in okay?” he asks, taking his seat at the dinner table.
Sitting down next to him, I cannot help but notice the delicious aroma coming from behind us. I do not know what Sarah is cooking, but it smells amazing. My stomach picks that exact moment to start grumbling. Glancing back over to him I admit, “It is still a bit of a shock, but so far, so good. I love living here. It’s nice to be around chaos for a change. Much better than living in silence.”
Laughing aloud, he doesn’t disappoint with his response. “You have definitely come to the right place if chaos is what you are looking forward. We can more than accommodate you in that area.”
Joining into his laughter, I can totally agree with his statement. There is always something going on around here, it’s been refreshing to be amongst it. When he turns to speak with Sarah, I excuse myself to go and fetch Sophie for dinner. I hope that by the time I get back to our room she will be off the phone.
Reaching our door, I hesitate as I open it, not knowing what to expect. I should not have worried, though, because Soph was sitting cross-legged on her bed reading our English textbook. “That would have to be the quickest phone call in history girl, what the hell!” I greet, leaning against the frame of ajar door.
“Hmm, oh, that boy of mine is tired, and I’m happy now that I have heard his voice,” she replies, a small smile residing on her face.
“What took him so long to call?” I ask, sitting near her on the bed.
“Their flight was delayed due to bad weather, and he reckons he couldn’t sleep. He sounds tired, so I let him go,” she murmurs. She does not sound overly happy, but she seems more content now that they have spoken.
I remember the day we found out they were moving away. Poor Soph, she wasn’t happy when he told her about his parents moving them back to California. As it was, apparently, Ben took a while working up the courage to tell her he was leaving. He was apparently scared of the physical pain she could inflict on him. He avoided the physical pain, but she refused to speak to him for nearly a week. It was only because I told her that she was wasting precious time with him, that she stopped her sulking. Luke confided that Stephen was also wary of telling me.
He can be hard to read, that one. I mean, why care about how I would feel about something if there was no interest in me. Talk about giving a girl mixed impressions.
Luke would not say too much, but he gave me enough to know that there is a reason why he is so aloof. He was adamant, though, that it was just not his story to tell. I can understand that I suppose, they are close like brothers.
I will find the underlying cause of it one way, or another. “Come on girl, your mom has dinner ready. We are required to attend.”
Bowing exaggeratingly like a butler, I motion toward the door. Shutting her book, she quietly rises and follows me. How strange, I thought for sure she would have thrown a smart-ass comment at me in return, but I got nothing. She left our room in silence heading toward the rest of her family in the kitchen. I’m guessing her phone call with Ben was not as good as she would like me to believe. I will bail her up later on.
Whatever was pestering Sophie must have passed, because she has done nothing but chatter all through dinner. At one point, I thought Anthony was going to tell her to zip it, but he just smiled and kept on eating. The steady flow of conversation between us was having a tranquil effect on me. I am still to get used to the complete family environment, it is a lot different from anything I eve
r expected.
“What do you think Sheri?” Anthony asks, pulling me from my daydream. They have all taken to shortening my name to Sheri, which I think is cute. No one has ever thought to do that in the past. It reassures me, that I am starting to feel like I belong.
“I’m sorry, what were you saying,” I return, acknowledging his question.
“It’s okay sweetheart, you looked like you had tuned out. I was just trying to bring you back to us.” He claims. There is a smile plastered over his tired face.
“I’m sorry. I was just thinking how nice it was to be amongst this kind of family interaction.”
This comment brings a snort from Sean who counters with, “Stick around doll, it gets worse. You will end up regretting that comment.” With that, the whole table erupts in laughter, and the conversation continues.
With dinner and clean up duties completed – yet another novel sight, Sophie and I make our way to our room, to settle in for the night. She pauses for a moment when Sarah calls out to her, leaving me to continue. When I say novel, I mean people taking turns to do chores. Prior to moving here, I was not only preparing our meals but also cleaning up afterward. I remember asking my mother once if we could get a dishwasher. She told me that dishwashers were for lazy people and I needed to learn how to keep house for my future husband. Obedience was the key to a happy marriage, she said. In her eyes, the woman’s role was to take care of her husband, and children and I needed to learn my place. Talk of getting an education fell on deaf ears, as she said that no man wants a woman, who is smarter than he is.
There was no way my life was going to be like that. We no longer lived in the Middle Ages; women have rights now. This was always something she could never comprehend. Old fashioned was a polite term for my mother.
Sins of the Father (California Dreaming Book 2) Page 3
