Her Cowboy

by Kat Catesby

  “Clearly,” I agree and clench around his hardening rod to make my point.

  “Mmm, I thought you were hungry?”

  “Oh, I am.”

  And with that, Asher fucks me thoroughly once more for good measure.

  * * *

  As first dates go, dinner with Ash was amazing. The food was delicious, my date was charming, funny, intelligent and attentive and the conversation flowed freely. I’m astounded by how at ease he makes me feel and I’m pleased there’s more to our connection than just the burning desire to fuck each other’s brains out. Not that you’ll ever hear me complain about his ability in the sack. I’ve lost count of the number of orgasms he’s given me already and I’m still throbbing for more. Every part of me is alight with anticipation; I can’t wait to be alone with him again. Even though he’s been the perfect gentleman and not touched me suggestively all night, dinner has still somehow ended up as foreplay.

  Patience certainly isn’t one of my virtues.

  Judging by the scorching eye-fucks being flashed my way, it’s not one of Ash’s either.

  The sexual energy crackles around us the entire drive home and just when I’m practically wriggling in my seat with need for him, we pull up in front of the ranch house, only to have my sex-fire doused by the sight of Carly waiting on the porch.

  She looks beautiful in tight jeans and an off the shoulder blue sweater but she doesn’t look impressed by the sight of Ash and I dressed up in the front seat of his truck. I’m guessing she saw her night ending differently…that makes two of us.

  “Sorry,” Asher mumbles, obviously annoyed to see her sitting there waiting for him. “I need to take care of this, wait for me inside?”

  I nod in agreement but my insides feel like they need to upchuck the delicious dinner I’ve just consumed. I don’t want to cause friction here as this is my place of work but equally, I feel territorial over Asher and our fledgling relationship and the last thing I want is the beautiful fuck buddy hanging around trying to claim him back.

  It probably says more about me and my insecurities that the sight of Carly in all her sexy glory pisses me off. Still, I try not to let it show.

  As I reach for the passenger door, Ash leans over and kisses me delicately on the cheek.

  “I really am sorry,” and I can hear the reassurance in his tone.

  “I’ll see you inside,” I manage as I hop down from the cab of the truck and walk past Carly into the ranch house, neither one of us attempting eye contact.

  Yeah, so much for not being awkward.

  Once safely inside – my desire completely extinguished – I have a few moments to myself to reflect. If we’re really going to make a go of this relationship, it’s not just Asher’s baggage with Carly that needs addressing, there’s some of my own that needs sifting through. Carly’s appearance might well be a blessing in disguise, giving me a moment of much-needed clarity to tackle the elephant in the room…specifically, the sex room in the ranch house.

  I make my way to the room where I first saw more of Asher and Carly than I ever dreamed of.

  I don’t like the room.

  Everything about it screams at me. The décor, the memories, its principal function…the secrets hiding in the closet.

  Nothing is sitting right with me and I feel uneasy being in here. This is a room that Asher has used with every other woman but me, and I sure as hell don’t want to use it. Therefore, it’s sort of redundant if we’re committing to giving a monogamous relationship a go.

  Also on the redundant list is the rack of canes and whips tucked neatly within the walk-in closet…Yeah, really not using those.

  I open a distressed wooden dresser within the closet to find an array of toys and restraints – some look quite arousing but if it’s not in its original packaging and unused, I’m not interested.

  The front door slams shut as I pick up the new Womanizer clitoral massager – with its hygiene seal still intact…that could be fun later.

  “See anything you like?” Asher gives me a roguish smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Obviously, it wasn’t a pleasant conversation with Carly.

  “You found me quick,” I deflect.

  “I had a feeling we’d end up in here sooner or later.”

  “Not in the way you’re hoping though,” I sigh, “to answer your question, no, I don’t really see anything I like. Except maybe this,” I hold up the small, sealed box containing the Womanizer.

  “Good choice. Anything else?” He sounds infectiously hopeful.

  “Not really…I’m trying to figure out the best way to ask you to get rid of most of it…” I trail off at the momentary hurt in his eyes. It’s replaced with astonishment and I can’t help the flare of anger I feel in response. Why on earth, given my history, would he think I would feel differently about his sex room? I ask him so, as measured as I can but there’s acid sarcasm in my tone that I can’t hide.

  “When you put it that way…” he shifts his feet and looks uncomfortable.

  “Damn straight. I was beaten half to death and you told me you weren’t a Dom, that you weren’t into pain and punishment and then I find a closet full of whips, canes, crops, and paddles. Of course, it’s going to be confusing and frightening and of course, I’m not going to be okay with it. And aside from your assortment of pain instruments, why on earth would I want to use used sex toys? I’m not going to use dildos and plugs that have been inside other women. I don’t care how thorough your sterilizing techniques are, it grosses me out.”

  Abruptly, Asher turns and walks out of the room.

  Panic replaces my frustration. While I feel somewhat justified in being honest with my feelings and fears, I’m insecure about the consequences. We’ve not exactly had a deep and meaningful conversation about our relationship status and I could have approached what I needed to say in a better way. I’m worried I’ve just overstepped and pushed him away.

  A few moments later I exhale the fear-trapped breath in my throat as Asher walks back into the sex room with an industrial thickness black sack. He marches past me to the closet and begins ruthlessly chucking things into it. The paddles, canes, and whips are the first victims before emptying each drawer of his sex chest. Every now and then, he’ll toss something onto the bed while I stand here astonished, bewildered and a little uncomfortable. Glancing at the bed I notice that he’s separated anything that’s unopened and still in its packaging.

  “Do any of those take your fancy or should I chuck them too?”

  I’ve lost the ability to speak. His tone is amicable but the words filter into my brain in a way that sounds harsh and sarcastic.

  “I – I’m sorry,” I whisper and look down at my feet. Too embarrassed and ashamed to meet his eyes. I’ve no right to waltz into his life and demand that he upends everything – literally.

  I hear the bag drop to the floor as I turn to walk out the door. A strong hand grabs hold of mine, keeping me in place, while the other takes my chin and lifts it to force my eyes to meet his.

  “You’ve done nothin’ to apologize for. I’m not angry with you for being honest, I’m angry at myself for not considering how this room would make you feel before you had to point it out to my dumb ass.”

  His eyes blaze into mine and take my breath away; not for the first time today. “Some of the women who enjoy my style of dominance also enjoy pain/pleasure play and punishment. I kept the rack of whips and canes as it was convenient to have it on hand if they were in the mood for them. They do nothin’ for me. Using them does not arouse me. They were merely there for convenience and it doesn’t bother me to dispose of them or the used toys. You and I are new and should we decide to use toys, they should be new too. Those” – he nods in the direction of the bed – “have never been used, that’s why I asked if any of them interest you. I didn’t mean for it to come out so harsh though.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Katie, my kink is a choice, not a compulsion. Right now, I chose you.” />
  Warmth floods my body at his words and touch.

  He cares.

  More than I thought possible for something so new.

  I’m lightheaded with euphoria and joy. No man has ever made me giddy but Asher Scott does.

  Somehow, he’s crept into the dark places and filled them with the brightness of profound happiness and desire.

  It’s too much, too fast but I don’t give a shit.

  I don’t bother to look at the toys again – whatever they are, we’ll play with them when I’m ready for it. “We can keep those,” I say and plant a sweet, soft kiss on Ash’s full lips.

  Asher

  This night might be salvageable after all.

  I didn’t think that was possible after pulling up and finding Carly sat on my porch waiting for me like a scorned girlfriend who just found out she’s being cheated on.

  Yeah, the night took a definite nosedive at that point.

  Katie tried to hide it, but I could tell it bothered her. I couldn’t help but feel a little smug at her jealousy, she definitely feels whatever this is between us if she’s territorial already, and I sort of love that. Not that I want her to feel bad, but it’s always nice to feel wanted.

  Seeing Carly sat on my porch with a face like thunder really pissed me off though. That’s not what we agreed going into our sex-only arrangement and I’m not thrilled at having her shift the goalposts on me.

  We always agreed our hookups ahead of time, unless it was a consensual spur-of-the-moment thing. We didn’t hang out in front of the others’ home like a lost puppy. If she wanted to hook up tonight, our precedent would dictate her calling or messaging me to see if I was free – not that I would have been or will ever be, now that I’ve found Katie. Rocking up uninvited is a sure-fire way to end up on my shit list.

  And she had the audacity to look pissed at me.

  Yeah, that conversation with Carly definitely wasn’t the nicest but it could’ve been worse…

  “Replacing me with the new girl huh?” Her voice was stern but there was a dejected and despondent edge to it that made me feel bad. Carly does actually care about me, but I never asked her to and it wasn’t what we agreed.

  “Carly, we were just fuck buddies. I’m not replacing you, because there’s nothing to replace. I’m sorry that sounds harsh and I probably should’ve done this sooner to save your feelings but we’re not a couple. We agreed to an arrangement without emotional attachment. I care about you as a person but not in the way you apparently want me to. And I truly am sorry that I’m not the man for you. You are a wonderful person; you’re just not the girl for me. Katie isn’t a new fuck buddy to replace you. There’s something between us that I’m excited to explore with her.”

  “Well, don’t mind my heart while you stomp all over it.”

  “Your heart was never meant to get involved. That’s what we agreed on. I wouldn’t be stomping on it if you didn’t throw it at my feet.”

  “Asshole,” she spat.

  “You’re right,” I sighed, “that was unkind. I don’t like feeling like I’ve hurt you but feelings were never meant to be a part of this. You promised me they wouldn’t. Do you remember that? Before we did anything together, I was worried about the boss/employee dynamic and what would happen if things went sour and you promised me it wasn’t about feeling anything for each other. That it was the need for sexual release. You promised me, Carly. And then you broke it and made me the bad guy because now I have to hurt you. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.” I’m almost pleading with her at this point, for what, I don’t know.

  “Right. So, it’s all my fault. Like you didn’t see me developing feelings for you. You could’ve ended it sooner before I got too deep.”

  “So could you.”

  “I was living in hope.”

  “That’s not fair Carly. You can’t tell me I should’ve called time on our arrangement sooner to prevent your feelings from growing deeper when you ignored your developing feelings and clung on knowing full well that wasn’t what I agreed to. That I wasn’t going to care for you back. You can’t blame me for your decision to hold on regardless.”

  “So, it is all my fault.”

  “No, it’s not. But neither is it all mine. I’m not really sure what else you want from me, Carly?”

  “I wish you would’ve told me before taking her to dinner.”

  “That’s fair. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Not that there had been an abundance of time to have that conversation but Carly deserved better. She deserves respect even if she did complicate matters.

  And you let her. My subconscious shouts at me.

  “And I want you to treat her better. If you’re hurting my feelings over this woman then I at least want her to be the one you marry and have babies with. I can deal with the embarrassment and hurt if she’s going to be the big love of your life.”

  “It’s new, but I think it has a shot at greatness.”

  “Wonderful,” she said dryly, “I’ll try and be happy for you but I don’t want the details. See you around, boss.” And with that, she stalked off in the direction of her little cottage. I let the darkness swallow her before walking up the porch steps into the house.

  And just when I thought the worst of the evening was behind me, I find Katie unhappily rummaging through my sex room.

  Fucking. Typical.

  Of course, our first date was going to get worse before it got better.

  I made an ill-advised attempt at humor and Katie’s true feelings about my sex room came tumbling out. I knew this was a conversation we needed to have but I sort of hoped it wouldn’t be on the back of dealing with the Carly drama.

  But I wasn’t that lucky…or skilled enough to say the right things. Actions speak louder than words anyway, or so I was told. Hence my stomping off to retrieve an industrial black sack to throw away all the offending shit from my sex closet. My life was to be physically and metaphorically cleansed this evening, whether I liked it or not.

  But now here I am, with the object of my fantasies pressing her luscious lips tentatively against mine.

  Yeah, tonight is definitely salvageable.

  Chapter Nine

  Katie

  The rest of the week passes in a blur of contented domestic bliss and work.

  After the night of the Carly / sex room cleanse, mine and Ash’s relationship became public knowledge; he’s all in and it’s intense but I can’t help but love it.

  I feel relaxed in a relationship for the first time in…well, possibly ever, which explains why, given my past, I’m able to jump into this with both feet so quickly. It’s eye-opening and frightening that I ever let myself settle for less than what Asher is showing me. And it seems so natural for him, like cherishing me the way he does is just second nature requiring no more thought or effort than breathing.

  His enthusiasm for our relationship – because that is what he officially calls it – is infectious. He’s gentle and considerate and fierce and protective. He takes what he knows I can give but doesn’t push for more. The sex is electric and so far, he’s not taken my limits any further than he did that first day, which is still way further than I thought I’d get. I love the fact that I trust him enough to let him take me from behind where I can’t see him or that I can let him hold my wrists down. That sort of sexual vulnerability, the willingness to submit your power to someone else, used to light a rocket in my libido. I’m so happy that with Ash I’m able to claw back some of those desires from the dark place to which David stole them.

  I trust Ash, but I’m also learning to trust myself, my belief in him and in us.

  Asher aside, the ranch is really starting to feel like home. I’m acing the work. Surpassing all expectations of the resort and ranch managers – maybe they never had anyone organized before? The records certainly give that impression; they’re going to take a while to get in order.

  All the staff have been friendly, warm and welcoming. Well, maybe not Carly, but things on that
front have been better than I expected. She’s not bitchy or antagonistic and she doesn’t go out of her way to make life difficult or awkward. She also doesn’t go out of her way to make conversation but that’s understandable but she doesn’t ignore me either. Normally there’s a curt nod of acknowledgment from her when I see her about the ranch. Thankfully though, our paths don’t cross much as I spend most of my time in an office in the Lodge.

  Ash explained his arrangement with Carly and how things were supposed to stay platonic but I can see that she’s hurting and although you can’t force someone into a relationship, I can’t help but feel responsible for her pain. Like I’m some sort of man-stealing homewrecker who just showed up and immediately ripped her heart out by taking her man.

  Except Ash wasn’t her man. He was a single man, I was a single woman and I guess Carly was just sort of caught in the crossfire of our attraction. Logically I know it’s not my fault, but I’m still happy that I have an office to hide in most of the time. Until her hurt and my misplaced guilt pass, I don’t need to keep bumping into her.

  A knock on the office door brings me back to the task at hand – an unorganized pile of customer receipts from last year.

  “Makin’ headway, Sunshine?” I smile at the sound of Ash’s deep voice. I swear it’s so low that it physically vibrates through me…well, my clit at least.

  “A little. It’ll take a while to get everything organized and filed away but I’m definitely not going to be defeated by your mountain of disarrayed paperwork.”

  “Hey, this mayhem isn’t all my fault.” He casually leans against the door, arms crossed, stretching the tight fabric of his shirt. The perfect fit of his worn jeans draws my eyes to the hardening bulge between his legs. How is he always ready to go?

  “You’re my boss’ boss. Ultimate responsibility falls to you,” I tease.

  “Well as your boss’ boss I feel it’s my duty to tell you how impressed I am with you.”

  “You’re only saying that because I’m the best at sucking your cock,” I wink.