"Langli may be a beautiful city," Ella said as her horse dipped its head attempting to steal a cluster of tall, high grass, "but I am happy we are moving on now."
It's almost over!
I smiled to myself and let my gaze slip over to Darren, riding a couple spots in front of the faction. He was in the middle of a debate with Eve and Ray and a couple of the fifth-years they were friends with. After a couple seconds he looked back, sensing my stare, and he didn't look away.
My pulse stopped. I ached to cross the distance between us and touch his face, his lips, anything besides empty air.
The sensation became more desperate when I noticed the expression in Darren's eyes mirrored my own. It was like this every time one of us caught the other staring. Neither of us was capable of looking away - as if there were some invisible cord holding us in place, trapping us in a daze we couldn't break… until Eve tapped the prince's shoulder and Darren, jumping, returned to his dialogue with the others and his back to me.
I continued watching him, memorizing the confident way he spoke and the way he drummed the saddle with his long, lean fingers until Ella reached over to wave a hand in front of my face.
"Hey," she chided, "enough of that! We've still got a week to go before we reach Devon and I'd like to think I'll get some conversation out of you on the way there!"
I bit my lip. "Sorry Ella."
"You are worse than your brother and I."
I raised a brow. "You two only think you are sneaky. I know your aim hasn't gotten any better since you started those 'late night practice sessions.'"
"Well it's not as if I am being courted by Byron's favorite apprentice." She snorted and added quietly, "Darren could stare at you all day and the master would deny the entire thing. Meanwhile Master Joan catches one whiff of Alex and I and she sends us on latrine duty for a month!"
I lowered my voice, "Darren doesn't do that." Then I gave Ella a meaningful look. Priscilla might be out of earshot but there was still a chance someone could overhear us. No one could know about Darren and me. Well, Alex and Ella and Ian knew – but the first two would never tell, and Ian was too busy avoiding me.
Darren and I had to be very discreet. Right now the others could only speculate. They knew that something had happened while Darren and I were on the mission – it was obvious since I had ended things with Ian. But what they didn't know was what. Darren was still with Priscilla, and as far as they could tell Darren and I had never shared so much as a word in passing since we arrived.
Except for the staring.
On our last day on the ship we had both agreed that the best thing to do was wait until we reached the palace. If Darren were to publicly denounce his betrothal before that, chaos would ensue. Priscilla's father had too much influence, too much wealth. The king would be upset beyond measure if he found out from an angry lord first. An exchange of letters would never suffice. Darren needed to seek out his father in person and in private, before the news breached. He needed to give his father a chance to accept his decision before it was announced publicly. Otherwise… I didn't want to think what it would mean if the king refused.
It was our best chance.
Glancing back up front I saw Priscilla had joined Darren's party. My heart sped up, angry blood coursing across my veins as the dark-haired beauty took her place beside him.
The prince took her hand. My stomach twisted and I willed myself to ignore it. He's just playing his part. He raised her hand to his lips. One, two, three seconds passed. Would the kiss never end? My face was on fire.
Darren released Priscilla's hand, finally. The girl tilted her head slightly to find me watching. She smiled prettily. It took everything in me to stop myself from tearing across the crowd and ripping the smug expression off her face.
Ella noticed my reaction. "One more week, Ry."
I took a deep breath. She was right, of course. One more week and then I would never, ever have to see Darren's lips on Priscilla's hand – or worse, her lips.
He had warned me things wouldn't be easy, that he would have to continue his part to keep her suspicions at bay… But it had been one thing to hear him say those words. It was another to see him act on them. It was hard to remember that he wanted me - that he loved me - when he and I had never been able to do so much as hold hands since we arrived back in Langli.
Everything will change once we reach Devon, I reminded myself. Then it would be me, not her. I just needed to be patient for a little while longer.
"You know Alex is worried." Ella interrupted my thoughts. "He says you shouldn't get your hopes too high."
I frowned. "I know exactly what I am setting my hopes for."
"He's just trying to protect you. We both are."
"Well, tell Alex if he really cares he will keep his opinions to himself. This isn't a mistake. I don't tell my brother how to go about his relationships – gods only know he's made far more mistakes than me." I immediately regretted the choice of words when I saw the flush on Ella's face. "I didn't mean you!" I amended quickly. "You are the one good decision he's made!"
Ella pulled away, putting more space between our horses. "If anything, Alex's mistakes should tell you he has a point. He knows how a man thinks, he knows how they act, he-"
"Alex isn't Darren," I interrupted. "Alex doesn't have any idea what it is like to be a prince!"
Ella stared at me, hard. "Do you?"
I swallowed and felt my cheeks go red. "More than him!"
Ella sighed. "I wish you would hear your brother out, Ry. I've done my best this whole time to keep my opinions to a minimum but you should at least consider Alex's. He's your brother."
"When he apologizes I will talk to him."
Ella groaned. Alex and I had been feuding for weeks – ever since he blew up in a rare moment of anger and told me I was a fool for leaving Ian and that I was even more so if I thought Darren would ever leave Priscilla. "You've got some fancy notion in that big head of yours," he'd said, "and I'm here to set you straight. You can't have everything, Ry, and this one is out of your reach."
"I'll try and talk him around," Ella said finally. "He wasn't right to say those things to you." She attempted a smile. "You know Alex just wants the best for you, even if he is making a mistake in the way that he goes about it. I think he remembers what I told him about Blayne, and then that time when Darren hazed you during your first year… it's hard for him to forget that. He's your brother, and your twin, and I know more than anything he just wants to protect you."
I glanced to the right of our procession where the Restoration apprentices rode. I recognized Alex's telltale sandy brown hair and broad shoulders near the back. I straightened in my saddle and glared straight ahead. I'm nobody's fool. You'll see, just give it a week. This one isn't out of my reach.
****
I had just handed off my reigns to the palace hostler when I felt something soft pressed into my hand. I glanced down at my palm and was startled to find a piece of paper folded neatly on top. I closed my fingers over the note and looked for the shaggy-haired stableman but he had already disappeared while the rest of his men continued to collect the horses from the remaining apprentices.
Curious to see what the paper said, I hurried to my assigned chambers, locked my door, and then read the note:
R,
Meet me at the palace gardens in one hour. Wait near the statue of Morteus. Look for an old hag with a long, gray braid.
-D
I snorted at that last bit. What in the name of the gods was Darren up to? I hadn't expected to see him until he talked to his father, and an hour was hardly enough time to have such a serious conversation. We couldn't be seen together beforehand, so what was he planning?
I made a quick attempt to wash from the morning travel (the palace servants wouldn't see to the apprentices chambers until much later that day) and then fumbled around my luggage for the right thing to wear. I held out the dress I had worn to the solstice ball, but it was far too nice and I
had no idea what Darren had planned. Would I even see him at all? He wanted me to find an old woman so there was no point in dressing up for him. Ultimately I decided on a simple blue cotton dress that wouldn't draw attention. I pinned my hair back in a makeshift up-do and then left to find the gardens.
When I arrived at the statue there was a hunched figure in a red cape with a long, gray braid sticking out the side of her hood. I approached her nervously. "Ma'am?"
The figure spun around and I gasped when the person withdrew his hood, chuckling. It was Darren wearing a wig, pressing one finger to his lips as he beckoned me forward.
"Darren?" I croaked.
"Gran," he corrected with a grin. He pulled the hood back low over his face and grinned at me. "Are you ready for a real tour of the palace?"
I scanned the gardens anxiously. "What if someone recognizes you?"
"The only servants who know this disguise are loyal. The rest?" He snorted. "They are too blind to see who is right there in front of them."
"What about your father? Don't you need to talk to him?"
Darren shook his head, still smiling. "The king can wait." He drew a deep breath. "The second I tell him my intentions I will be yelled at from dawn until dusk." Darren took a step closer and took my hand in his. "Before I subject myself to that I'd like to spend time with the girl who convinced me she was worth it in the first place."
My cheeks burned. I still wasn't used to Darren talking to me like… like I was special to him. Like he was in love with me.
"Ah," he said, "there's that charming blush I was hoping for. I was beginning to think you didn't care at all."
I raised a brow. "Priscilla paraded you around in front of me for three months, what did you expect me to do?"
He grinned. "So you were jealous."
I glowered as he led me forward. "Of course I was, and don't think I didn't see you kiss her back! Was it really necessary to-"
Darren ducked under a nearby willow and dragged me behind him.
"Darren – what are you doing?"
Darren put a finger to my lips, eyes dancing wickedly. "But did I kiss Priscilla like this?"
When he had finished I was light-headed and the two of us were breathing quite heavily.
Darren released me, staggering backward with a groan. "By the gods, I forgot what that was like."
I just stared at him, unable to speak. How was it that I could have ever thought I'd be happy with Ian? Never once had I felt like that with the fourth-year.
"I guess I should take you on this tour before someone spots us." Darren's eyes fell back to my mouth and a wicked smile played across his lips. "If we stay here any longer, I'm afraid I won't make a very convincing grandmother."
My whole body was a quivering mess. I didn't want to do anything but grab Darren and let him make good on that threat. I didn't care if we were caught. I didn't want to stop this time. I wanted to… What was I thinking? Was I mad? Focus Ryiah!
I swallowed quickly. "Right, let's take that tour shall we… Gran?"
Darren noticed my hesitation and grinned. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure!" The words came out much higher than I had intended.
Darren chuckled. "Alright then, let's start with the kennels – there's someone I want you to meet."
****
"So you are the girl who's put that dopey smile on his face." A large man with a gruff voice missing three front teeth beamed down at me. "'Course I shuda known that it could never be that other one. His highness has never once taken her to meet Wolf."
Darren rolled his eyes. "Just because I smile, Heath, doesn't make Ryiah special."
I elbowed the prince in his stomach and he grinned. "Well, maybe a little."
"So who is 'Wolf?'" I pressed. I hardly knew anything about Darren's life in the palace, and I was curious to find out who this person was.
The man chortled. "Not who. What." He led Darren and I through the building's doors to a large enclosure where twenty hounds relaxed on comfortable oak panels. A second set of steps led up to a second platform where even more of them slept. Against the wall were large metal bins for food and water, and another large door led to a grassy pasture where the dogs could roam during certain hours while the servants supervised. The falconry house was just a bit beyond and I could hear the angry bird cries across the room.
"Is Wolf a hound?" I asked nervously. A hole had formed in the pit of my stomach. I forced myself to ignore it.
At the mention of his name a thin, shaggy coated mutt lifted its head from the middle of the pack. Unlike the sleek, muscled palace hounds, this animal was clearly not used for the hunt. It was scrawny with gray matted fur and timid brown eyes peeking out of the long gray hairs that practically covered its face. It didn't look dangerous, but then old man Crawley's dog hadn't either.
"Come here, boy."
I turned quickly to look at Darren - the tone he had used to call Wolf forward was so different from what he usually used that I almost couldn't believe it had come from him.
Darren didn't notice; he had already hopped the enclosure and was busy embracing the mutt who had suddenly sprung to life and launched himself into his master's arms. The dog was yipping and thumping its tail so loudly that fur was coating the air beside him.
A sense of foreboding filled my chest. I knew what was coming next.
Darren glanced back at me. "Are you coming, Ryiah?"
I hesitated for a moment. Maybe. Maybe I could do this. I took a step forward and gripped the gate's handle, my knuckles white with trepidation. One of the hounds trotted forward to sniff at my fingers and I jumped back, retreating to where Heath stood a couple feet away from the gates. My hands were slick with sweat and I wiped them nervously against the skirt of my dress.
"I – I can't." My throat was dry and the words came out scratchy and odd – like I was choking on sand.
Darren frowned. "What do you mean you can't?"
"I mean…" I clenched and unclenched my fists anxiously. "I just can't, Darren."
"Ryiah." Something about the prince's voice made me look up. "Are you afraid of dogs?"
I forced myself to hold his gaze. "When Derrick was five, one of them attacked him. I was only eight. We'd both grown up playing with our neighbor's dog Bo and then one day it just turned." My breath hitched and I made myself breathe out more slowly. "It was terrible. Crawley had to – he couldn't call Bo off – he had to… And then Derrick had to spend two weeks being treated – we, um, we couldn't afford a healer so it was up to my parents to tend to his leg… It's fine, now, but I – ever since that I just..."
Darren hadn't once taken his eyes off me the whole time I was talking. Now he straightened and approached the gate's entrance with Wolf trailing behind. When he reached the edge of the enclosure, he rested his arm on the top of the barrier's railing. "Ryiah, I want you to come here."
I stared at him, wide-eyed. "You are mad if you think that I'm going inside."
"Ryiah," he said patiently. "You want to be a warrior mage. Facing your fears is part of that."
"Darren, I can't!" I was ashamed when my voice cracked.
"You can," he said patiently. His eyes held pity. "Ryiah, Bo was sick. It happens with the hounds occasionally when they are bitten by an infected animal - or even one of the strays. There's no known cure when it happens… there was nothing you could have done differently." He patted Wolf's head. "Heath and the rest of the kennel's staff know the signs. You are safe. Now come meet Wolf." His smile brightened as he looked down at the shaggy-haired mutt. "He's the only family member I can promise will give you a warm reception."
I forced myself to take a step forward, and then another, until I was in front of the gate. Darren nodded encouragingly as I unbolted the latch and timidly stepped through its entry, every inch of me on alert.
Darren held out his hand and I took it, hoping he wouldn't notice how clammy my fingers had become. I let him gently pull me closer to Wolf, and then held myself rigid as the mut
t eagerly sniffed at my boots. The other hounds remained at a distance, seeming aware of my obvious discomfort. Wolf yelped and I dropped Darren's hand, heart slamming into my ribs. For a second all I could see was the cold, hard axe and Bo whimpering in a pool of his own blood.
"It's okay, Ryiah." Darren's voice broke through the haze as his hand found mine again. "Wolf just wants you to pet him."
The hammering in my ears shifted and I forced myself to look away from the prince and down to the panting gray dog at my feet. The dog looked up at me and thumped its tail, then made another whining noise.
"He's a bit needy, I'm afraid I've spoiled him."
I took a deep breath and reached out to touch him. Wolf yipped and jumped up to meet my hand. I stumbled, unable to stop myself from pulling back in fear, and landed on the ground with Wolf bounding up right on top of me. Wolf lodged his head at my throat and I shrieked, arms held up against my face only to feel his warm, wet tongue licking my wrists and hands enthusiastically. I lowered my arms, embarrassed, and the dog darted in to lick my face much to my chagrin.
Meanwhile, standing above me was Darren, shaking with laughter.
I timidly began to pet the dog, still keeping one eye on him while I shot Darren a half-hearted glare. "Thanks for that! I could have been mauled!"
"By what? Being licked to death?" Darren snickered and then crouched down beside me to rub Wolf's head. "Naw, this one is a coward. The palace cats tease him about it all the time. The hounds chase them and then they take their frustration out on poor ol' Wolf because he's not fast like the rest of them. He's only a stray."
I couldn't help smiling a little as I shifted to a crouch, still petting Wolf. This isn't so bad – Bo was like this too, before it happened. "A stray?"
Darren nuzzled his dog's neck, seemingly unconcerned that he was getting white and gray fur all over his dress. "Yes," he said absentmindedly, "when Wolf was just a pup Heath found him wandering the palace grounds… I'm not sure exactly how he got through the gates, but it was raining and he was nothing more than a pile of bones. At the time Father was pressuring me to get a hound of my own for the yearly hunt – I was ten. I was a bit defiant, as you know, so I chose the most pathetic animal I could find and that was Wolf." He grinned. "The look on Father's face was priceless when I showed up to my first hunt with a stray."
The Black Mage: Apprentice Page 20
