Alec

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

  “That’s exactly why I have to push you away. You’re getting too possessive.”

  “You’re the one doing this. I have to have you. I need my hands on you all the fucking time.”

  She tried to push me away, but I caged her in. “Alec…”

  “Why? Just tell me why you keep doing this.”

  She didn’t say anything, but I waited. I could do this all fucking night. “I don’t want a relationship.”

  “I don’t get it. You were so worried after I got shot, but then as soon as we’re together, you push me away. It doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

  “I just…you have to give me space. I love being with you, but you’re consuming me. I need space to be myself.”

  “And I need you.”

  “See? It’s just too much.”

  “It’s not enough, and I think you know it. If you’d just give in, let it happen, you’d see how fucking great this is.”

  She pushed me back gently and I gave her the space. She didn’t say anything, just turned and walked away. I was tempted to punch the wall, but I bit back my anger and flung the door open to the bar. Craig was at the table with a whiskey that I desperately needed now.

  “Where’d you go?”

  “Thought I saw someone I knew.”

  “Okay, so what’s this really about?”

  I debated whether or not to tell him. Really, it’s not like he would know anything. He hadn’t caught on yet to any of this shit. And I was tired of trying to keep it to myself.

  “I’ve been sort of seeing this woman.”

  “Sexy?”

  “Unbelievably. But she doesn’t want a relationship.”

  He snorted and took a drink of his beer. “Thank your lucky stars.”

  “This is the real deal.” He stopped mid-sip and stared at me.

  “Like, the One real deal?”

  “Exactly.”

  “But she doesn’t want a relationship with you.”

  “No.”

  “So, you’re just fucking.”

  “Yes.”

  He stared at the table in thought, running his hand over his mouth contemplatively. “So, you need a way to catch her. To make her decide that she needs you more than anything.”

  “I guess,” I said slowly, wondering where he was going with this.

  “Get her pregnant,” he said as I took a sip of whiskey. I spit it out all over the table, choking on my drink.

  “Sorry, did you just advise that I go get a woman pregnant to hang onto her?”

  “Why not? You said you want a relationship with her.”

  “Yeah, and I’m pretty sure having a kid is not something that would endear me to her.”

  “You could always get shot again. I offer to do the honors. Maybe it’ll knock some sense into you.”

  “Why would getting shot give me any kind of leg up?”

  “Well, women are emotional creatures. They make rash decisions when the chips are down. Let’s say you were to get shot, nothing too life-threatening, but not a graze either. She’d come running and vow to never leave your side.”

  Seeing as how I had been shot and all that got me was sex with Florrie, I didn’t think getting shot again would push her over the edge.

  “Not gonna work. I need something else.”

  He drank some more and eyed me speculatively. “What are some reasons that a woman wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with you?”

  “What? Are we trying to figure out my faults here?”

  “You could say that. If we can figure out what it is that turns her off, maybe we can change those things.”

  “Okay, what are my faults?”

  “Well, for one, you have a dangerous job.”

  “That’s not the problem,” I chuckled.

  “Okay, you haven’t had any serious relationships. Maybe she’s scared you don’t know how to be in one.”

  “Yeah, but then why would she even stick around?”

  “Good sex. Unless you’re not…”

  “Unless I’m not what?”

  He waved at me and spluttered, “You know, something she wants for the rest of her life.”

  “I think we’ve already established that she doesn’t want me in her life that long.”

  “I mean, perhaps you’re not…satisfying enough for her.”

  I blinked and then blinked again. “If I wasn’t satisfying enough, why would she stick around just to fuck me?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe you’re not quite what she needs, but you’ll do for the moment. Do you wax?”

  “No, I don’t fucking wax, and don’t even try to convince me that I should do that.”

  “Women like it.” He leaned forward conspiratorially. “It makes your dick look bigger.”

  “My dick is big enough.”

  “Yeah, but is it big enough for her? Maybe that’s your problem.”

  I just stared at him and he leaned back, holding up his hands that he relented the point.

  “Okay, what about stamina? On average, how long would you say you last?”

  “I don’t know. It depends on the occasion.”

  “Let’s just ballpark it.”

  I shrugged, trying to calculate in my head. “Maybe fifteen-twenty minutes.”

  “Ooh, that’s…not good.”

  “Why is that not good? I get in and get the job done.”

  “What about foreplay and…well, the sex?”

  “There’s plenty of that,” I said simply.

  “In fifteen minutes?” Craig snorted and then started outright laughing at me.

  “What the fuck is your problem?”

  “My problem? I don’t have one, but I think we just found out why she doesn’t want a relationship with you, Mister Fifteen Minute Man.”

  “Fifteen minutes is plenty of time to satisfy a woman, if you know what you’re doing. Besides, some women don’t like you to hang out in their pussy for more than that amount of time.”

  “Sure,” he snorted again. “If she wants it to end sooner, that’s because it’s bad and she wants it to be over.”

  “If that’s true, then explain why she keeps coming back for more.”

  “I don’t know,” he laughed, “but I can’t wait to tell the guys your new nickname.”

  “Don’t you fucking dare.”

  “Why? If it’s genuinely true that your lady friend likes to keep things short and sweet, then why does it matter?”

  “Because you make me sound like a Jiffy Lube oil change.”

  He leaned forward on the table, his smirk spreading wide across his face. “I can guarantee that even Jiffy Lube takes longer than you.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Florrie

  One and a half years ago…

  Stabbing pain shot through me so sharp that I doubled over in pain on the bathroom floor. I had never had pain like this from a period. Each month over the past six months had gotten progressively worse, but this was just excruciating. I had managed to get through work all the previous months, but there was no way I was going in today.

  I quickly changed my tampon and pad. It had only been an hour and I was already bleeding through both. Curling up in bed, I called in to work.

  “Reed Security. This is Sebastian speaking.”

  “Cap, it’s Florrie.” I bit back a groan as another stabbing pain hit. “I’m not gonna make it in today. I’m not feeling so good.”

  “Shit. I have you scheduled to go out on a job for a week.”

  I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Sorry, it’s not gonna happen.”

  “Are you okay? Do you want me to send someone over?”

  “No, I’ll be fine.”

  “You don’t sound okay. You sound like you’re in pain.”

  I chuckled because it was funny. I had never been in this much pain before, and I could handle pain. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Right.”

  “Really, I’ll be fine. I might be out for a few days.”

>   I started to feel nauseous, so I hung up on Cap and made my way over to the bathroom. That was where Alec and Craig found me just twenty minutes later. I was lying on the floor at this point, curled up in a ball.

  “Shit, you don’t look so good,” Alec grumbled as he knelt down beside me. “Why didn’t you tell Cap it was this bad?”

  “I’m fine,” I mumbled. “Just feel sick.”

  “Are you in pain?”

  “Cramps.”

  “Cramps? I’ve never heard of cramps flattening a woman that doesn’t even register pain. Hell, it could be your appendix or some shit,” Craig said.

  I flushed in embarrassment. I didn’t want to tell him that it was just my period that was causing me this much pain. “It’s not that.”

  “Fuck that, you’re going to the hospital.”

  “I don’t need to go.”

  “Something that makes you lay on the ground curled up in the ball is something that needs to be checked out. If you don’t go, I’ll just have Hunter check you over.”

  There was no fucking way I was having Hunter look me over. There was no way any man was looking at me, bleeding all over the place like that.

  “Just take me to Kate.”

  “If something’s wrong, you won’t have time to get to the fucking hospital.”

  He shoved his hands under me and lifted me in the air. Craig shot me a sympathetic look, but I shoved my face against Alec’s body, not wanting to have either of them see me in this much pain. We were out the door and down the stairs of my apartment building in no time. Alec didn’t bother to set me down in the backseat of his truck. He just hauled me up onto his lap and held onto me the whole way.

  I groaned when another stabbing pain hit. I was glad to be in his arms right now. Somehow it made all of this just a little bit less scary. His arms tightened around me and I curled further into him.

  “It’ll be okay, baby,” he whispered in my ear.

  I nodded against his neck and then felt a gush of liquid flow down my legs.

  “Shit, Florrie, you’re bleeding. Where’s all this blood coming from?”

  The panic in his voice made the embarrassment even worse. “I have my period,” I whispered.

  “Oh. This much?” He pulled me back and looked down at me. I was covered in blood and now so was he. “This isn’t normal.”

  “It’s just really heavy right now.”

  “Florrie, don’t fucking lie to me. This isn’t normal.”

  I shrugged, not knowing what else to say to him. He pulled me against him and held me for the rest of the ride to the hospital. When we arrived, he had me out of the backseat and into the ER in just seconds. He argued with the emergency room staff until they got me right back, but I asked Craig and Alec to leave. How could I possibly explain that I could do this in front of Alec, but not Craig? Besides, this wasn’t a topic that I wanted Alec around for.

  “Florence-”

  “Florrie,” I corrected.

  The doctor smiled kindly at me. Thank God it was a female doctor. This was embarrassing enough as it was.

  “Florrie, what’s going on?”

  “I got my period this morning, but it’s extremely painful. And I know pain, I’ve been shot. But this is the worst cramping I’ve ever had. I’ve been bleeding through a tampon and a pad every hour since I woke up.”

  “Is this the first time this has happened?”

  “No, it’s been getting worse over the past six months, but this is definitely the worst.”

  “Okay, we’ll do a pelvic exam and an ultrasound and see what’s going on.”

  The hours of the day drifted by in a haze of pain and tests. The nurse kept asking if I wanted to let my friends back, but there was no way I could let them in here with me. Someone might slip up and say something, and this was not a topic I wanted to discuss with anyone. I sent both Craig and Alec messages that they should go home. I told them I could get a ride, but neither of them would listen.

  “Okay, Florrie,” the doctor said as she took a seat next to me. It was well past dinner time and I was exhausted. I just wanted to go home and get into bed. The staff had been backed up and the tests had taken forever. “Your tests show that you have endometriosis, which is endometrial tissue that grows outside of the uterus. Normally this tissue is expelled during your period, but this displaced tissue cannot. That’s what was causing your pain and your heavy periods.”

  “What does that mean? Will it go away?”

  “No, this is something that we can manage though. I see that you’re currently not on birth control. Those hormones will help and I’d like to get you started on them right away.”

  “Okay.” That sounded too simple. “Are there any other side effects? I mean, is this going to affect my job?”

  “Well, if we can get it under control with birth control, it shouldn’t affect your job. However, endometriosis can make it difficult to conceive. There’s an increased risk of ovarian cancer, ovarian cysts, scar tissue and adhesions, inflammation, intestinal and bladder complications-”

  “Wait, I might not be able to get pregnant?”

  She looked at me sadly. “It could be difficult. There are hormone therapies that you could try and-”

  “How would I know if it’s going to be a problem? I mean, is there some testing or do I just have to wait until I want to get pregnant and wait for months on end to see if I end up with a baby or not?”

  “We could check your Fallopian tubes. That would give us a good idea of how bad your case is.”

  “Okay, so, let’s do that.”

  “I can set up an appointment for you, but I have to warn you, it’s not a pleasant test. You’d probably want to take a few days off work.”

  I nodded numbly. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I mean, I hadn’t really thought too much about having kids before. I liked my job and the thought of giving that up for a family wasn’t the most appealing idea. But to be told that I couldn’t produce a child, that I was basically defective, I didn’t know how to feel about that.