Mugs of Love

by Norma Jeanne Karlsson

  I focus back on Jenna who’s feverishly typing.

  “So tell me about Caleb,” I encourage her as she shuts her laptop to chat.

  “That would take forever,” she says through a smile, telling me it’s a good story. “We met about six months ago and I’ve been turning him down ever since. He finally broke me last week. Caleb makes me…anxious. Like I don’t know if I’m coming or going when he’s in the room. It’s scary and thrilling.”

  “He’s persistent.”

  “Yeah,” she scoffs. “That’s an understatement.”

  “Are you seeing him again?”

  “He’s out of town for a week, which is good because I’m slammed with midterms. I’ll see him when he gets back though. What about you? Seeing anyone?”

  “I just broke up with my boyfriend about three months ago,” I answer honestly.

  “Bad one?”

  “It wasn’t good. Adam was sleeping with half the town, apparently. I caught him in the act. Now he’s on a mission to get me back.”

  “Douche bag.”

  “That seems to be his current title.”

  We both chuckle at that.

  “He’s an idiot, Emily. I’ve known you for a day and I can tell you rock. Any guy’d be lucky to have you. If he missed that, fuck him.”

  I clink my glass against her mug. I know I deserve better than what Adam gave me. But I’m still hurt. His betrayal cut deep and I’m having a hard time getting past it. I will though.

  I sit with Jenna talking about the Fall Festival, school and the shop until another line starts to form. Jordan and I stay busy until ten minutes before closing. Jenna starts packing up to leave then.

  “Did you park down in the lot?” I ask as I close out the register while Jordan packs up the three muffins we have left to take home to eat.

  “Yeah.”

  “I’ll walk down with you if you wait a few minutes for me to close up.”

  “Okay,” she says through another wide smile.

  I hug Jordan before he leaves out the back. He rode his Harley today and he always parks it in behind my shop. The man looks good on a bike. He’s my best friend and nothing more, but I can appreciate what him in a leather jacket on the back of a bike looks like. And it looks super hot.

  Jenna and I leave out the front. When I’m done locking up, we move down the sidewalk chatting and laughing until Sarah walks out of Garrett’s store. She sets her gaze on us and I know trouble’s coming.

  “Crap,” I huff.

  “What?” Jenna asks, looking around for what’s bothering me.

  She must spot Sarah because her body straightens a little taller as Sarah makes her way to us. We keep walking, but it’s inevitable that she’s going to approach us.

  “Who’s your friend, Emily?” Sarah asks when she’s about fifteen feet away, walking up the stairs to intercept us.

  I wait and decide to get this over with. Sarah glides to a stop in front of us and swings her hair over her shoulder, a fake smile on her face.

  “Sarah this is Jenna Carson. Jenna this is Sarah Bellefonte. She owns Tailored.”

  I sound pleasant enough. Jenna shakes Sarah’s hand before shoving it in her pocket.

  “You should stop by my shop. Your body’s perfect for the designer labels we carry.”

  There’s contempt for me in her voice and her face as she speaks. Clearly, I’m not a model and I don’t have the body of one. I have the body that my mother gave me and I love it. I have curves like she did and I refuse to feel bad about them.

  “I don’t have to buy designer clothes. If I want something from a designer I like, I call them up,” Jenna says dismissively, making me want to laugh in Sarah’s face.

  Sarah’s stunned stupid for a moment and I think we’ve won until a slimy smile crests her lips.

  “Well, if you ever need anything, we’re open every day but Sunday. I was just telling Garrett we should go out Saturday night since neither of us work on Sunday. He’s taking me to dinner, but I’d like to get him on a dance floor you know?”

  “I don’t know him,” Jenna responds as my stomach takes a dip. It shouldn’t, but it does.

  “He owns Sharp Furniture,” Sarah says, indicating with her thumb toward the shop. “We’re dating. If you haven’t seen him up close, you should. He’s to die for.”

  “Okay,” Jenna stretches the word out, looking down at me with big eyes. I almost laugh again.

  “Did you think any more about that makeover, Emily?” Sarah questions with a smug look on her face.

  “What makeover?” Jenna asks me, but Sarah answers.

  “Tailored is raffling off a makeover for the Fall Festival. I told Emily she should enter. She could use some help freshening up her dowdy look. She could be kinda cute if she put in some effort.”

  I don’t know Jenna, but I see a fight building in the woman next to me before she unleashes in a way that shocks the crap out of me.

  “You’re fuckin’ kidding right? You think she needs a makeover? Do you own a mirror? I’ve seen hookers with better style. You better enter your own raffle because you need help. I’d start by removing the pound of foundation and the porn star fake lashes. Hell, I’ll help you out. You come to my place and I’ll get you headed in the right direction.”

  Smacked. Down.

  Sarah’s mouth is gaping like a carp. It’s not a good look and I’m trying desperately not to laugh.

  “You bitch!” Sarah screeches and rears back like she’s going to smack Jenna.

  “You put your hands on me and I’ll beat your fuckin’ ass. Don’t let the model looks fool you. I’ve got two older brothers. I know how to throw a punch,” Jenna growls.

  “Sarah!” Garrett’s deep voice shouts from the doorway of his store.

  We all turn to see him scowling in our direction with his arms across his chest. Now everyone on the sidewalks are looking at us, where before it was just the people on our side of the street.

  “My man needs me,” Sarah responds conceitedly. “Thanks for the advice, but clearly Garrett likes the hooker look.”

  She tosses her hair again and then hurries toward Garrett. I watch him as she closes the distance. His eyes stay on mine the entire time, even as he pulls Sarah under his arm in a proprietary move. Then he spins them around and disappears into his store.

  “What. A. Cunt,” Jenna says under her breath when we start walking again. “Don’t listen to her, Em. You’re gorgeous and she’s a troll.”

  We both chuckle loudly at that.

  “And Garrett is hot!”

  “That he is,” I agree as we get to my car.

  “He’s obviously an idiot if he’s with her though,” she points out.

  “I think she slept with Adam,” I admit quietly.

  “Your ex?”

  I nod.

  “I should’ve hit her.”

  “It’s not worth it. It’s his fault at the end of the day, but it still makes me sick to my stomach to think he kissed me after he was with her,” I say through a shudder.

  “Did you get tested?”

  I pale a little at the question.

  “Shit! I’m sorry. That was a rude question,” she says pulling me in for a tight hug.

  “I never had sex with Adam. That’s why he cheated,” I mumble into her Burberry scarf.

  “Never?” she asks as she sets me back.

  “Nope. I knew somewhere deep down that he wasn’t being faithful. I was in denial, but my body knew it.”

  “Your vag is psychic. That’s awesome,” she says through a snort before we both start snickering.

  I like her. She seemed timid and reserved yesterday. I like this Jenna so much better.

  “There’s a note on your windshield,” Jenna points out as we stop laughing.

  Crap.

  I rip the paper off knowing it’s from Adam.

  Please call me, Em. I miss you. I love you.

  Yours,

  Adam

  “He’s persisten
t,” Jenna remarks as I did earlier about Caleb.

  “He’s not Caleb,” I huff, shoving the note in my pocket.

  “No shit. Caleb cheats on me and his balls are going in a meat grinder,” she says seriously.

  “I don’t have a meat grinder.”

  Now we’re laughing again.

  “I’ve gotta run. Four o’clock class. I’ll see you tomorrow though,” Jenna says, pulling me in for another hug. She’s a hugger. I like huggers.

  “Have a good class, honey.”

  “When I get back to my place, I’m lookin’ up meat grinders,” she jokes as she strolls to her car. It’s a tiny red BMW that fits her fun personality.

  I slide into my Mini as Jenna pulls off with a toot of her horn. I drive down Crest Street just as Sarah’s strolling out of Garrett’s store. There’s mischief on her face as she walks. Garrett Sharp has no idea what he’s getting into with her. I feel the overwhelming urge to warn him as I turn toward the grocery store. It’s not my place to advise his love life though. Maybe he sees something in her that I don’t. I hope he does because all I see is malicious evil when I look in her brown eyes.

  As I dig my shopping bags out of my trunk, my thoughts turn to Adam. Why is he so intent on getting me back? He had me. He wasn’t satisfied with me. You’d think he’d be happy to have his freedom. I’m at a loss when it comes to him and how he behaves.

  He owns and operates a real estate development firm that builds luxury estates throughout the Midwest. He’s got money. He comes from a wealthy, well-known family. He travels in circles that are affluent. He could have any woman he wants. I don’t get it.

  I keep thinking about Adam as I load my cart. Shopping to only cook for myself is depressing. I’d rather focus on him than how lonely I’m starting to feel.

  We had a big fight two days before I caught him. Adam insisted it was time to talk about the future. Where we were headed. He actually told me it was time to consider letting Emily’s Coffee & Cakes go. He told me I could still own it, but I needed to hire a manager and a baker so I could take a step back. He’s only been in my shop twice.

  When I think about it, he didn’t know me any better than I knew him. Two years together and he had no idea that I could never leave my shop. Eventually, I’ll have to set different hours. I want a family, kids. I really want kids. My schedule now won’t allow for that. I’ll be flexible when the time comes. I want to be the kind of mother that I had, attentive and involved.

  Adam wasn’t talking about that kind of future. He just wanted me at his side. Cooking him dinner, out with him at social events, travelling with him. Adam didn’t want to build a future with me. He wanted me to fit into the slot he’s created for a woman. Little responsibility, other than looking pretty and behaving appropriately.

  Sometimes I wonder how I ever got involved with him. But when I think about it…it was easy. He was so charming in the beginning. Sweet too. There was a lot of wooing. Flowers, chocolate, romantic dates, jewelry. All of that was nice, but I fell for Adam because we could talk for hours. He could make me laugh and cry at the same time. There was never uncomfortable silence with us. From the moment I met him, I was comfortable.

  Comfortable.

  Not hot and bothered or passionate, just comfortable. That’s not how I imagined falling in love would feel. I’m not an idiot. I know love isn’t some intense over powering thing that should consume your every moment for eternity. That would suffocate me. But when Adam was away, I didn’t feel that yearning to be with him. I rarely spent the night with him, again because of the baking schedule. And I slept on my own just fine. I didn’t miss Adam. You should miss the person you love when they’re away from you. At least that’s how I’d like to feel. I’d want to be missed too. Adam didn’t miss me. He replaced me.

  I finish loading my cart with food for the weekend. With the Fall Festival only two days away, the store is pretty packed. People are stocking up to bake and cook for raffles. I wait in a very long checkout line, perusing the magazines until the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

  I whip my head around to find Garrett walking into the store. He can’t see me from where he is so I duck down. Why? I don’t know, but I do.

  “You okay?” the older gentleman in front of me asks as I sink to my knees.

  “I’m fine. Just…dropped…I just dropped my contact!” I exclaim as I find the words to lie.

  I pretend to search as I peer around the edge of the magazine stands. I can see Garrett’s boots thudding in my direction. Crap! I wiggle to the end of my cart, bumping into the concerned man.

  “You think it’s over here?” he asks disbelieving.

  “Uh.”

  I position the cart so I can look underneath it while it hides me. Why am I hiding? I hide from Adam because I’m sick of having the same conversation with no resolution. I can’t do it anymore. I’m hiding from Garrett because I’m a crazy person apparently.

  Garrett’s large boots come into view and I know he can see me. I’m caught, yet I still stay crouched on the ground.

  “Emily.” His voice is rough with demand. He’s not questioning what I’m doing. He’s telling me he knows. Garrett’s calling me out on my crazy with just one word. How can he do that?

  “Found it!” I announce loudly with my finger out as I jump to my feet.

  The concerned older man is watching Garrett and looking at me with puzzled pale blue eyes beneath bushy white eyebrows.

  “You all right here, girl?” he asks, staring at the hulking man waiting for me.

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  I slide my way around my cart and stop a foot away from Garrett. His eyes are dark brown when I tilt my head back to meet his gaze. He’s mad.

  “Hiding,” he grunts.

  “I wasn’t hiding,” I scoff. “I dropped my contact.”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  “No, I wasn’t hiding or no, I didn’t drop my contact?”

  “Emily,” he says through a sigh, as he rubs a hand over his stubbled jaw.

  “Okay,” I relent under his now changing to blue eyes. “I was hiding. But I don’t know why, if that makes it any better. I hide from Adam because I can’t deal with…with all…that,” I exaggerate, waving my hands. “I hid from you because I’m a crazy person. Or at least I felt like one kneeling behind my cart, freaking that nice man out.” I nod in his direction. “You’re not Adam and I’m not afraid of you. But I saw you and you’re just so…there and I acted like an insane person. And now I’m rambling like one!”

  I slam my palm across my mouth to stop the verbal diarrhea. What is wrong with me? The corner of Garrett’s wide full lips moves minutely, but he doesn’t smile. He lifts his chin beyond me and I look over my shoulder to see the checkout woman is waiting for me. I haven’t even unloaded my cart onto the conveyer belt yet.

  “Sorry!” I quickly move to toss my groceries on the belt, but Garrett’s warm palm against my midsection halts me. Shiver.

  He pauses his progression for a beat before moving around me and unloading my cart. I’m still stunned by the searing heat engulfing my body from the brief touch. I get it together though.

  “I can do that. You’re here to shop, not to unload the crazy lady’s cart.”

  He doesn’t like that at all. Garrett’s gaze pins me with a stare that says, I’m doing this and you’ll let me. Be quiet. He didn’t even have to grunt to get me to do what he wanted.

  The teenage boy bagging my groceries is having a hard time because he’s staring at Garrett. There’s something of awe and wonder in his dark green eyes. That makes me smile. I stare at Garrett too, but not in awe. No, I stare at him intoxicated. He commands the space without even trying. His presence demands you pay attention. So I’m doing just that. Until I hear the checkout woman call out the total.

  I push up next to Garrett as his hand darts into his back pocket. I don’t look at his perfect butt. I want to though.


  “Don’t be silly,” I say, placing my hand over his before he can pass over the cash. I look up at the screen and read the total as I rifle through my large, overly messy bag. I have to let go of Garrett to get a good dig going. Now I’m holding up the line again. It’s Garrett’s fault. I’m usually on top of this stuff. Groceries ready, card out, bags loaded…I’m good at this. I’m now a mushy pile of wacky brain because of Garrett.

  I see his large hand shove the money forward and I shout, “Don’t!”

  I’m met with big eyes from Sherry (nametags are a great invention) and Garrett’s brown-eyed glare.

  “I broke your table. You’re not paying for my groceries. Stop it,” I demand.

  He passes his money to Sherry and she takes it, warily. I get ready to tune up when he hits me with that, Shut up, look again. I do it. I shut my mouth because I’m causing a scene in the grocery store. I’ll just pay him back later.

  I slip around him and wait for him to get his change. Then he indicates with his chin for me to get moving. The teenager keeps staring as we move. When Garrett nods at him, I think he melts as much as I do.

  I start to push the cart as Garrett shoves his wallet in his jeans. Then he takes the cart from me. I’m so stunned I squeak like a church mouse. His lips twitch again, but he doesn’t gift me with that gorgeous smile I know he has. I’ve only seen it while I was in his shop and it made a lasting impression. I squeak even louder when he pulls me under his arm.

  I’m in a coat, scarf and planning on digging out my mittens because I’m freezing. As soon as he touches me, I’m on fire. He warms every surface of my body as I lean into him. When we get to my car, he moves away from me and starts picking up my bags to load my trunk. He nods toward it and I get my brain to function long enough to unlock the doors.

  I’m cold again. I’ll be even colder as I drive so I yank my white cable-knit mittens from my coat and jam my hands into them. They won’t get warm, but I won’t shiver this way.

  Garrett shuts the gate on my Mini and then turns to face me. I’m standing next to the cart like a helpless child. He studies my face for a moment and then his gaze rakes me from head to toe, pausing at my feet. Maybe I stepped in dog poop. I look down and see what caught his attention. I try to snatch it off the ground, but he beats me to it. He was able to make it five feet and bend down before I could even squat. How does a man this big move that fast?