The words sounded so trite, but they were genuine. He hadn’t meant to lead her on, even though that’s obviously what had happened.
He braced himself but Aubrey looked more confused than angry. “I don’t understand.”
He tried again. “When I told you about the wedding, I wasn’t inviting you to go with me.”
“Sure, you were.” Aubrey laughed.
Toby couldn’t even crack a smile. “No. I never asked you to go with me. We were talking about our old friends from high school and I mentioned Ethan and Beth were getting married.” He thought back through the conversation. They’d started reminiscing and there had definitely been flirting on both their parts. “I should’ve been clear about what I meant. I’m sorry.”
“Are you saying you don’t want me to be your date?” She took his hand in hers. “Because I’ve already made plans. Reconnecting with you has been amazing.”
Whoa. He was so bad at this. He carefully withdrew his hand and pulled it back to his side. “It’s great to see you again too, but I’m interested in someone else.” That was the plain truth of it. Even if he wasn’t sure she felt the same, even if he couldn’t quite imagine what the future might look like. “I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression.”
Aubrey’s mouth fell open with a look of disbelief. “So, you’re dating someone else?”
“Not exactly. But I’m definitely interested in someone else.” He might not be free to pursue Jane, but he wasn’t going to lie to Aubrey. “We’re both only home for the wedding though, so—”
“It’s Jane?” The woman gasped. “You’re not interested in Jane, are you? You can’t be!”
Toby stood. “Why not?”
“Plain Jane?” Aubrey raised her voice. “She’s totally not your type.”
First of all, he got to decide who his type was, and second, had she really called Jane “plain”? “Listen, I’m sorry I’ve upset you, but it’s really none of your business who I’m interested in.” And anyway, his feelings for Jane weren’t something he could dwell on. Once the doctor gave him his clearance that would be his sole focus again—getting back out on the circuit in time to qualify for the finals. “This isn’t about Jane. It’s about me.” He’d made a mistake and he had to own up to it. “I meant what I said. I’m not looking for a relationship with anyone right now.”
Aubrey stood too. “And there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?” she asked with a teasing pout of her lips.
“I’m afraid not.” There was only one woman he wanted, but he didn’t know the first thing about being the kind of man she needed.
* * *
“This is the best breakfast I’ve ever had!” Beth looked up from the plate in front of her. Jane had to admit the authentic cowboy skillet she’d made had turned out even better than she’d hoped. All of Beth and Ethan’s family members and the friends they’d invited to join them for the day were on at least a second helping.
The ambience didn’t hurt either. Louise had directed her small kitchen staff to serve the breakfast in the ranch’s outdoor pavilion on the south side of the lake. It provided the perfect vantage point to see the sun hovering over the eastern peaks beyond the water. Speaking of the lake, the water was glass this morning—completely still and glowing turquoise. Hints of steam rose off the surface, evaporating in the cool morning air.
“Everything really is delicious.” Beth’s mom wandered over. “I couldn’t think of a more perfect place for Beth to get married.” She hugged Jane. “All the memories you two have here make it even more special.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” Beth sighed happily. “Janie, do you remember when we snuck out with our sleeping bags and spent the night here?”
Jane laughed. “We hardly slept at all. Every time we heard a noise we were sure a bear was coming to eat us.”
“You girls.” Beth’s mom shook her head with a smile. “So many stories. Many I’m sure I don’t know about.”
Jane shared a secretive smile with Beth. There were definitely stories neither of their moms had ever heard. Like the time they’d smoked a cigarette behind the boat shed. They’d both coughed until they’d thrown up. A nostalgic sigh slipped out. So many memories. So many stories. Would she lose them all when her mom sold the ranch?
“Anne!” Beth’s dad waved her mom over. “There’s an eagle over there.” He pointed to the other side of the lake.
“Oh perfect! I’ve got my camera.” Her mom hurried off with most of the other guests to ogle the majestic bird as it soared above them.
Fighting off sadness, Jane walked down the table refilling glasses of orange juice.
“Is Toby coming?” Beth glanced around.
“He’s part of the wedding party, so I assume he’ll be here.” Jane kept her tone light. She hadn’t seen Toby since they’d briefly spoken at the library almost a week ago and she’d told him she would consider going on the ride today. Her palms had been sweating ever since. There’d been a time when she wouldn’t have thought twice about climbing on the back of a horse, but now riding would only bring up every memory she had with her father out on that trail.
“My grandmother mentioned he happened to be at the library when you two met the other day.” Her friend’s eyes sparkled with mischief, as if she’d already read into the news.
“We saw him.” Jane cleared an empty plate from the table and dumped it into the trash can. She didn’t mention her conversation with Toby. She hadn’t mentioned their conversation after the wedding shower either. When it came to Toby, Jane didn’t need any encouragement. Instead, she needed someone to remind her why it wouldn’t be a good idea to spend more time with him. Only she couldn’t think of anyone who would tell her that.
“My grandmother seems to think he likes you.” Beth took another bite of the eggs, which had been combined with crunchy hash browns, pieces of thick-cut bacon, cheese, and local green chilis. “And I seem to remember you having a thing for him once upon a time. I warned Toby before you got home that he’d better behave himself, but he seems different around you. Less…,” she paused as though searching for the right words, “…showy.”
“Toby will always be showy.” Being a performer was part of what made him such a good bull rider. Though knowing what she knew about him now, she understood what he was hiding behind that showmanship and the thought made her heart hurt. She shook her head. She couldn’t allow her emotions to carry her away. “We would drive each other crazy. Don’t you remember how we always argued back in high school? How we were always trying to outdo each other?”
“Well you know what they say about rivals.” Her friend sipped the hot cowboy coffee that had been simmering over the fire. “They also make the best lovers.”
“Only in romance novels.” There were plenty of tropes to prove it—opposites attract, enemies to lovers. Jane’s stomach did that annoying flip again, and she’d never liked gymnastics. “Besides, we’re not rivals anymore.” Time to change the subject. “We’re just two people trying to give our dearest friends the best celebration we can.”
Beth’s eyes teared up. “Thank you again, Jane. I know this is a ton of work for you.” Her friend pulled her into a half hug. “I appreciate it more than I can say. With the café, there’s no way I could’ve figured out how to entertain everyone before the wedding.” Beth rolled her eyes. “You get married in Colorado and everyone expects to be able to make it into this big vacation.”
“Well, it’s been really fun.” That part had surprised her. Truthfully, she’d been so caught up in her feelings about being home she hadn’t let herself think much about the wedding beyond making it as stress-free as possible for Beth. “Now I’d better go check on the horses. I have to make sure Pete is getting them all saddled up.” And she may have to ask the wrangler for a quick refresher course on riding. It had been too long.
“Okay, we’ll see you over at the stables in fifteen minutes,” Beth said excitedly. “I might have just one more plate of this cowboy s
killet first.”
“Have as much as you’d like.” If her friend thought the breakfast was good, wait until she tasted the smoked barbecue brisket sandwiches they were packing in for the picnic lunch on the trail.
Jane hurried from the pavilion, following the path along the lake to the stables. Eight horses were already tethered to the fence, all saddled up and ready to go.
Toby came walking out of the small building, leading a ninth horse by the halter. The sight of him brought on more internal acrobatics that set her off balance. She’d never realized her heart could spin like that.
“Morning,” Toby said cheerfully, moseying on past her to tie the horse to the fence. “Perfect day for a ride, huh?”
It had been. It had felt so cool out here ten minutes ago. Now, though, she almost felt warm enough to take off her sweatshirt. It was those damn jeans of his. Or maybe not so much the jeans as the way he filled them out.
Jane leaned into the fence to steady herself. “So, um, where’s Pete?”
“Pete called and asked if I could lead the ride.” Toby disappeared into the stable briefly before walking out with another saddle. “Sounds like he’s not feeling so hot this morning.”
Likely because he was out partying last night. She should’ve asked one of the older wranglers to help out today. Rookie mistake.
“I’m happy to help though.” Toby hoisted the saddle onto the stallion’s back and strapped it in place. “What do you think? Are you going to join us?”
She’d been ready to tell them no, that she had a lot of other details to attend to. But talking with Beth’s mom made her realize she might not have this chance much longer. The chance to visit the places she used to love going with her dad. She might not get to relive memories that might be painful but were also such a big part of who she was. “I think so?”
Toby smiled, seeming to accept her hesitation. “Well you have a few more minutes to make up your mind. I still have to load the food.” He gestured to some saddlebags lying on the ground nearby.
“There’re only nine horses.” Jane walked down the line to be sure she hadn’t miscounted.
“Yeah.” Toby started to cart over the saddlebags. “That’s all we’ve got at the ranch these days.”
Only nine? They used to have at least fifteen horses. Panic started to edge in. “What happened to the others?” Her father always boarded horses in exchange for letting the ranch use them for trail rides.
“It was too much work for your mom to keep caring for the horses, so she asked people to find other places to board.” He went down the line attaching the lunch bags to the saddles.
“What’re we going to do? We’ve got twelve guests, including us.” She never neglected details like this. Now some of the guests would have to sit out of the ride, and that was one of the best parts of the day…
“It’ll be fine.” Toby walked over and messed with one of the horse’s saddles. “Some of us will have to double up, that’s all. I figure Ethan and Beth won’t mind being in close quarters.” He seemed extremely focused on that saddle. “And I guess you and I should pair up too. Since we’re not paying customers and all.”
“Or I can stay here.” Yes, that would be better. She could work on confronting her issues another day. Emotion already sat thick in her throat. She didn’t need to cry all over Toby.
“It’s a beautiful day for a ride.” Toby worked on one of the horse’s bridles. “I bet the view at the Lookout will be perfect.”
“It will be.” She could almost picture it, with the lake glistening below. She watched him tend to the horses with those sure hands. There was no way she could do this alone but maybe she could do it with Toby…
Just then Beth and Ethan came walking up to the stables with the crowd of chattering family and friends trailing behind.
“This is going to be so great!” Her friend started to pet one of the horses. “It feels like forever since we’ve been out on a ride.” She turned to Ethan, her whole face shining with a smile. “Remember when we went on that romantic picnic last summer?”
“I’ll never forget it.” He put his arm around his fiancée, gazing at her with a steady sureness. Jane had to turn away. No one had ever looked at her like that. Or maybe she simply hadn’t let anyone get close enough to look at her like that.
Toby joined them near the fence. “Jane’s not sure she’s going to go with us, but I can handle leading the group so no worries.”
“You have to go!” Beth grabbed Jane’s hand. “Please. It won’t be the same without you.” She sidled up to Jane and lowered her voice. “Besides, my grandmother is coming. I need you there to be my buffer. She loves you. You’re all she talks about these days, and that means she’s not complaining or telling me what to do.”
Jane’s eyes followed the path and found Bernadette stopped by the lake taking a picture on her phone.
“All right, all right, I’m coming.” Jane dug around for some resolve. She would go, and she might cry, but at least she wouldn’t keep hiding from the memories.
“What a lovely day.” Bernadette traipsed up the path to where they stood. The genuine smile on her face made her look years younger.
Jane greeted the older woman with a hug. “I didn’t know you were coming on the trail ride.” But she was glad. At first Bernadette had seemed like a sourpuss, but Jane had enjoyed getting to know her.
“I didn’t know I was coming on the ride either,” Bernadette said. “But I guess there’s no time like the present to start living.” The woman winked at Jane. “Am I right, girl?”
“I suppose.” That was exactly the kind of philosophy she needed to adopt right about now.
“We’re out of horses,” Toby said apologetically.
“She can ride with my grandpa.” Ethan pointed out a distinguished-looking older gentleman who’d already made friends with one of the horses.
“Hey, Pops. You won’t mind if Beth’s grandma rides with you, right?” he called.
“Not a bit.” The man sauntered over in true cowboy fashion and gave Bernadette a kind smile along with a nod. “I’m William. It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.”
Jane could’ve been wrong, but she swore the older woman blushed. “And I’m Bernadette. You’ll have to go easy on me, I’m afraid. I haven’t been on a horse in years.”
“Well, it seems like a good day to get back in the saddle.” William held out his arm to her. “Come on. I’ll introduce you to our horse.”
Aw… Jane couldn’t help but smile watching the two of them walk away.
“You look like you’re thinking up a plot for a romance between two people in their golden years.”
She swung her head to look at Toby. He knew. Or at least he suspected she’d written Mountain Destiny. His grin made it clear he was fishing, and she had to make sure he didn’t catch anything.
“I’m not plotting. The woman looks happy, that’s all. When I first met her, she seemed to have a permanent frown in place.”
“She likes you.”
Funny. That’s exactly what Bernadette had said to her about Toby. He likes you. Maybe. Or did he simply like a challenge?
Toby almost looked like he wanted to say more, but instead he turned to the horse next to them. “I guess we should get this party started, huh?”
“I guess.” Jane kept her distance from the horse. He was beautiful with a black shiny coat, but also so tall and powerful. Her dad had taught her that horses were unpredictable. Even the sweetest of them could spook without warning…
“Are you ready for this?” Toby asked, messing with the stirrups.
“It’s been a long time.” And her father had always been there when she’d ridden, keeping her safe. He’d had a way with animals. He’d had a way with her. A curtain of tears fell over her eyes. She quickly looked down in an attempt to hide them. The floodgates were about to open, and she didn’t need Beth and Ethan’s family and friends to witness an emotional breakdown.
“He’s not gone.”
Toby drew her in closer. “You know that right? You said so yourself, he’s everywhere here.”
Jane bit her lip, nodding.
“We’ll look for him while we ride.” Toby lifted her face to his. “You point him out to me when you see him. Okay?”
Sniffling back those burning hot tears, she nodded again.
“I’ll give you a boost.” Toby nudged her toward the horse. Everyone else had already mounted and the animals were getting restless. She couldn’t procrastinate any longer.
Toby laced his fingers together so she could step into his hand. “One, two, three.” He boosted her up and she swung her leg over the horse’s wide girth. Being up so high almost left her breathless. She shifted and wiggled her way to the front of the saddle so Toby could get on behind her. He effortlessly pulled himself up and sat right behind her, his muscular chest cradling her back. Strong arms came around her as he took ahold of the reins, and she could feel the warmth of his breath against her neck.
“Ready?” The deep murmur put the entire left side of her body on high alert.
“I’m ready.” She tried holding on to the saddle horn, but when the horse started off with a lurch, she rocked sideways, so instead she steadied her hands on Toby’s thighs.
“Everyone can fall in behind me,” he called to the group. Her touch didn’t seem to affect him nearly as much as his affected her.
“Your mom told me that your father built this trail.” Toby steered the horse into the trees where the narrow, rocky path started.
“He did.” She’d been a little girl back then. “He told me he was building the trail for me. So I would always have a path to follow and I wouldn’t get lost. I did get lost though.” She had gotten lost after he died. She’d lost the ability to build connections. She’d lost the ability to see herself through her father’s eyes and had instead started to believe what everyone else said about her. Plain Jane…
“Maybe this trail will lead you back to him,” Toby murmured against her hair. He took the reins in one hand and slid his other arm around her waist, steadying her with a strength that settled the ache building in her heart.
First Kiss with a Cowboy: Includes a bonus novella Page 14
