by J. Darling
“Linnie,” Jake said, clearly unhappy with her answer. “You know she won’t ask for help. She’s too private, too stubborn.” He ran his hand through his hair and down his neck. “I love her, and miss her already, and I haven’t even left.”
Linnie smiled and gave him another squeeze. “Give her time, Jake. You mean more to her than she’s admitting right now. Trust me. Go to Madison, start those classes, and give her time. I won’t let anything happen to her.”
Jake looked to Nate, who’d been quietly listening the whole time. “What do you think?”
Nate took a big breath and let it out. “I feel your pain. I’ve been there, and know how hard this is. I get that you don’t want to take a step back and wait, but that’s probably what she needs most right about now, and when it comes to us men, and the women we love, it’s all about them. It’ll about kill you, but give her time. A few of my comrades came back to the states with spinal injuries. What Linnie’s saying is true to some extent. They were often angry, and pushed people away in the beginning. When reality set in was when they needed you the most, needed to know you were there for them. Reality hasn’t set in for her yet.”
Jake felt his eyes start to burn, and he had the worst pain he’d ever felt right in the heart of his chest. Looking to the closed door to her room, he had to resist the urge to storm back in there and demand she listen to reason. Feeling completely defeated, he hung his head and prayed for her.
“Excuse me, can we help you?”
Jake looked up to see two female staff members standing in front of them.
Linnie answered. “We’re family to Juliet Blomgren, and we’re trying to decide if we should stay or leave. She’s not exactly making things easy right now.”
The older of the two raised her eyebrows slightly, then answered, “I understand this evening’s been a bit of a trial for her. My name’s Dawn by the way, and I’m going to be her nurse for the night, and this is Jessica, her nursing assistant. We were just heading into her room.”
Jake stepped forward. “I’m Jake, and…she…she wants me to leave, and I…don’t want to,” he said, choking up, then felt himself become instantly angry. Clenching his jaw and tightening his fists, he took a deep breath trying to calm himself.
The nurse nodded. “I understand you’ve been here ever since she’s arrived. Let us go in and work with her, see if we can tell what’s going on. I know it’ll be hard, but go home if you can, get some rest, and if you want, call and check in with us later, see how her night went.”
Jake looked to the door of her room and felt completely broken. After taking a deep breath and letting it out, he turned and walked away. He couldn’t help but think that he was the one that was paralyzed, as he felt completely and utterly dead inside.
*****
Jules heard a knock and the door to her room open. Quickly wiping her eyes, she looked over to see two women walk into her room. Trying her best to smile, she hiccuped and sniffled reflexively.
Walking over, the nurse looked upon her warmly. “I see…we have a patient in tears, and a young man outside, torn and hurting.”
Tears began pouring down Jules’s face. “He…he…he deserves someone better than this.”
The nurse raised her chin slightly as she listened, handing Jules a tissue. Then nodding her head, she asked softly, “And?”
Jules wiped her eyes. “And what?” she answered, then sniffled.
The nurse smiled a little as she put a thermometer in Jules’s mouth, then asked, “And…what do you deserve?”
She planned that, Jules thought, as she sat reflecting on the question, waiting for the thermometer to beep. Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, beeeeep. Finally. Jules answered, “Me, I need to go back to Chicago, to my job.”
The nurse looked at her as she put her stethoscope in her ears, then responded, “Really? Is that what you’re deserving of, work? Shhh, I’m going to listen to your heart.”
She planned that, again, Jules thought as she took a deep breath, then sat thinking of how the nurse had rephrased her answer. No, I don’t deserve work, she wanted to cry out, but it’s all I have.
“My name is Dawn by the way,” the nurse explained as she took the stethoscope from her ears, “and I’m you’re nurse for the night, and this is Jessica, your nursing assistant.”
Jules nodded her understanding, “Thank you both for helping me,” she answered, sniffling again. “I appreciate it.” Then she looked at Dawn and studied her for a minute, as she went about doing her job. She was a beautiful blonde woman, with kind eyes and a nice smile. “Do…do you have children?” Jules asked, feeling herself tear up.
“I do. Three, two girls and a boy. All grown and out of the house.”
Jules thought about that, as she watched Dawn check her IV fluids and pump settings, all the while mulling things over.
As she continued to stare, Dawn smiled down at her compassionately. “Does that trouble you?”
Jules shook her head. “No, I…I was just wondering if my mother had lived, would she have looked like you.”
Dawn stopped what she was doing and turned to her. “That you don’t know what your mother looked like tells me she died when you were very young. Who raised you?”
“Both my parents died when I was an infant. I was raised by my grandmother. She died when I was seventeen.”
“Do you have family to help you through this?”
Jules didn’t answer the question, she simply looked down and picked at her blanket.
Dawn continued, using her intelligence and words to help give voice to the situation at hand. “The three young people you just made leave, maybe?
Jules began to chew on her lip.
“They’ve been by your side since you arrived, it would make sense that they’d be your family.”
Jules continued to sit quietly as she studied the nurse call button.
“You needing a mom maybe?”
Bingo! Jules looked up and began to blink rapidly.
“Ohhhh, sweetie, come here.” Dawn put her arms around Jules and held her.
Jules’s worn and tattered spirit soaked up the warmth and compassion being offered her. It’d been so long since she’d last felt the nurturing of a mother’s love that she was like a sponge. This was, by far, the best medicine she could be given.
Continuing to hold her, Dawn leaned back and said, “As your nurse, I can’t tell you what to do. But we can talk about what you’re thinking, and go over all your options, so you can make the best decisions for you. You can talk to me about anything. How about we do that while we get you in the shower? Jessica’s here to help us, she’s a young girl like you. The three of us can talk about life and love, and see what we can come up with. How does that sound?”
Jules nodded as tears ran down her cheeks. “I…I…I’d like that,” she struggled to say. “Thank you, I’m feeling so confused right now.”
Two days later, Jules lay in her bed at Sister Kenny Rehab in Minneapolis. After talking with her manager at work, she’d decided the best place for her to be was right where she was. Thinking about everything, her mind a blur of thoughts and emotions, she put the light on for the nurse. Continuing to list and catalogue all the things she was going to need to change and get help with, she waited. When the nurse entered the room, she said, “I’m sorry to bother you, but something’s wrong. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m trying to rest before therapy and I can’t, because my leg’s being funny. Wait!” She gasped, her words just registering.
Sitting up as fast as she could without hurting herself, Jules pulled back the blanket and looked at the braces on her legs. Snapping her head up to the nurse, she said with a sudden realization, “It stings! I can feel it. It’s stinging! Along the back of my calf, and maybe the bottom of my foot, I think….no, I’m pretty sure of it.”
Pulling the Velcro straps loose, the nurse helped remove the brace from her left leg. Jules felt certain she could vaguely feel the nurse’s h
ands on her burning, tingly flesh.
“Oh, that feels so much better,” she responded with a sigh, feeling immediate relief. Rubbing her leg and foot, Jules manually flexed her foot, then moved it around rotating her ankle, feeling a twitchy heavy sensation the whole time. Stretching out her deadened leg with her hands, she pushed it into place. Focusing on her foot with determination, she willed it to move. Slowly, her big toe curled, and her foot went down ever so little. Jules couldn’t help it, she started to bawl.
*****
It was official. Jake was a student again. He prayed the next two years would go fast. He didn’t want to be here. He was worried about Jules and wanted to be with her. If she’d gotten her way, she’d be back in Chicago by now. The fact that he was only two hours away from the windy city proved tempting. He just needed to find out where she went for rehab, and he’d show up there. Nate would know. He’d ask Nate, that’s what he’d do. Was he really doing this? He didn’t want to do this right now.
“For those of you who are new to Madison Area Technical College, welcome, and for those of you returning, welcome back. I’m Dr. Michelle Gurtek, and you can call me Mickie. I’m filling in this semester for Joann Sheehan as she’s on sabbatical. I’m going to instruct you this semester on the topic of animal diseases, as each of you pursue your veterinary technology degree. I’ve been all around this great state of ours, and primarily teach at the University of Wisconsin Veterinary School. Dairy is my passion, and I love all things dairy. Well, we may as well get started. When I call your name, please tell me where you’re from…Alex Aarsgard?
“Here, Merrill, Wisconsin.”
“Nice to meet you, Alex. Hmmm, interesting… Jake Albrecht?” she called out, as she stood in front of the class looking out. She chuckled. Feeling shy Mr. Albrecht?” she asked, as she looked at Jake.
What the hell? “Ahhh, here,” he answered tentatively.
“How are things in Luck, Wisconsin?”
Who the hell was this woman? “Ahh, good.”
She smiled. “Vet tech, huh? I thought it was cheesemaker?”
Jake looked at her with trepidation.
“Ladies and gentleman, this is Jake Albrecht, of Albrecht’s Creamery and Dairy in Luck, Wisconsin. His family was among some of the earliest settlers to our great state, and are known throughout for producing some of the finest cheeses and butters Wisconsin had to offer, before they closed that end of the business down a few years back. He, his two brothers, and his father run a dairy operation of nearly a thousand cattle. Glad to have you here, Mr. Albrecht.”
Jake wanted to crawl under his desk. “Thanks.”
“Give Karl a message for me would you, tell him I won that competition fair and square, and he still owes me a pair of hair ribbons. Oh, and tell him if need be, I could still out milk him.”
The class burst out laughing, and Jake couldn’t help but laugh along. He’d heard this story, and it was bound to get his dad’s dander up.
“Moving on, Melissa Bergmann…”
“Here, Mondovi, Wisconsin.”
Jake took a deep breath, this was going to prove to be an interesting semester, for sure. Two hours later, as he gathered his stuff, the professor called him over.
Smiling at him as he approached, she said, “Let’s get straight to the point. You could probably teach this class with your background. I can’t imagine you’re wanting to get into the small animal end of things, so if you’re going to do this, why not become a large animal veterinarian?”
“I don’t want to take it that far. I just want to learn some skills and take them back to the farm.”
“Like what?”
“Selective breeding and how to artificially inseminate. I want to work to improve what we have, and the product we produce.”
With a bow of her head, she responded, “Admirable. I have connections with one of the largest dairy operations in the state. I think we can get you everything you want to know, from beginning to end, in a hands on manner. Plus, we can do it all in a matter of weeks, and get you back on the farm. How does that sound?”
“Well, as I once told Linnie, everything happens for a reason. Maybe you’re meant to be in Madison for a few months…”
This felt right, Jake thought. This was why he was meant to be here. “Great! I’d appreciate it.”
Pulling out her cell phone, she dialed a number and put the phone to her ear, all as Jake stood watching. He couldn’t believe she was doing this for him.
Smiling, she indicated it was ringing. “You’re going to want to plan for about five weeks. That’ll give you time to practice, and have you around long enough to see if what you’ve done, took. Stan, this is Mickie. I have a student who wants to get his hands dirty. He’s looking for everything you’ve got on selective breeding and artificial insemination procedures. Yeah, that’d be great. Oh, the standard course, a five week internship of hands on should do just fine. Sounds good, I’ll send him your way.”
Holy shit. Jake watched as she pulled out a business card and handed it to him.
“Be in Albany early tomorrow morning. Check in with Stan, he’ll get you going. If you need housing, talk with him. Have fun, and tell Karl he owes me dinner, as well as new hair ribbons. Oh, and there’s a nice little tavern in Monroe you’ll want to check out. It’s right up your alley.”
Taking the card, he looked at it in shock. “I will. Thank you! Thank you so much.”
*****
Three weeks had passed since the accident, and Jules was sitting in a wheelchair as she was wheeled down to the patient pick up area of the rehab. Watching as Linnie pulled up and came to a stop, the attendant opened the car door and wheeled her closer. Reaching for the door, Jules took hold and slowly stood up, careful to keep her center of balance even over her feet as she turned to sit on the passenger seat.
Safely in the car, her belongings already having been loaded, Jules looked over at Linnie and asked one more time, “Are you sure about this?”
Linnie nodded her head. “Of course I’m sure. The farm is the best place for you to be, and as your family, we wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Jules chewed on her lip. They hadn’t talked about Jake since the night she’d asked him to leave. Jules cringed inside. She’d been so emotional then. Well, she still was, but she was much better. Speaking softly she asked, “What…what about Jake?” Jules watched as Linnie tried holding back a smile as she drove.
Keeping her eyes on the road, Linnie responded, “What about him?”
Jules swallowed and looked away. “Umm… Things could get uncomfortable. He has reason to be angry with me.”
“Well,” Linnie said, taking a deep breath and letting out, “you were right about one thing, you two had just begun to get to know one another. If you knew him better, you’d know if he were to be angry about anything, it would be over letting you go back to Chicago.” She glanced over and shook her head. “Trust me, he won’t be angry, besides, he’s not even there.”
Jules heart began to race, and she felt her insides tense up. “Whwhwhere is,is he?” she stuttered and stammered, as her breathing sped up.
“Gone,” Linnie answered flatly. “He left a few days after you last saw him. He’s down by Madison, staying with some guys while he takes classes to finish up his degree. He’ll be back over spring break in March. If you have things your way, you’ll be looong gone by then.”
Jules heart fell. She thought she’d be seeing Jake today. “Ohhh, right,” she said quietly, “good for him.”
Rubbing it in a little, Linnie went on, “So the coast is clear, you can recuperate on the farm without worry of being bothered by Jake. You’ll get home therapy there, and then each day you can walk the barn to strengthen your leg muscles and work on your coordination and balance. Pretty handy, considering its winter out, and you wouldn’t have as great of an opportunity in Chicago. Unless of course, you went to another rehab facility, but even then you wouldn’t be guaranteed long halls to walk.”
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Turning on her signal and exiting the freeway, Linnie continued, “We’re all excited to have you there with us. The guys have already made up a rest area for you in the barn, and we ordered you one of those walkers that has a seat and brakes on it, so you can stop and rest whenever you get tired. Then, when you feel you’re strong enough, you can head to Chicago, or Connecticut, or wherever.”
Jules nodded as she listened, all the while crying inside. She wanted Jake something fierce. Her heart was aching, and he was the only cure. “Thank you,” she said softly. “I’m fortunate to have all of you.” She had to remind herself that Linnie was only reiterating what she’d been saying all along.
CHAPTER 12
The next day after breakfast, Nik carried Jules out to the barn. “Nik, I could probably wa—”
“Nope, not happening,” he cut in, shaking his head stubbornly. “Its winter and we’ll not have you walking over snow and ice to get to the barn. So get used to being carried, it’s the way it’s going to be.”
Jules sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to win. “Fine.”
Stepping through the door, Nik walked past the office and down the hall that Jake had said was storage. “Why are we going this way?” she asked, as she looked around.
Moving along an aged corridor, he responded as he turned and pushed through a pair of old swinging doors with his shoulder. “It’s the old creamery, and the place where we set up your rest area.”
Looking around, Jules gasped. “Wait! Stop! I need to see this. Put me down—she squirmed—please, hold on to me so I don’t fall, and then tell me about this place.”
Nik looked at her with wide eyes. “You mean Jake didn’t bring you here on the tour?”
She shook her head. “That would be a definite nada,” she answered, looking around.
