Fiona's Journey

by Agnes Alexander

  Driving the wagon with Rose in bed in the back, Fiona had to admit she was glad to be the front wagon. It was the second time they’d had the privilege of being in front. She couldn’t help but be glad they would be traveling this way for a while.

  It was a clear day and she could see miles across the bare, dry prairie. It looked as if it wouldn’t hesitate to swallow up anyone or anything that didn’t adjust to fit its demands. But in its own way, it held a beauty hard to describe. The sky stretched forever; eagles often soared overhead; wild flowers clung to prickly cactus; and an occasional bush or straggly tree appeared.

  “Nothing like Kentucky,” Fiona muttered as she watched a jack rabbit scurry from a patch of wild grass. She was sure there were other animals lurking about, not seen. Probably prairie dogs and plenty of snakes and scorpions.

  She couldn’t help remembering her brother’s farm with the tall trees and thick grasses, the pines where the rabbits and squirrels lived as well as numerous deer. Of course there were lizards and snakes and other wildlife, including an occasional bear or mountain lion, but they remained hidden. Green bushes, trees, and undergrowth were everywhere this time of year. All manner of wildflowers littered the landscape. Creeks and branches never dried up as the clear water ran over rocks. Often they ate fresh trout Joey and his father caught from them. Also, with the mountains around, it was impossible to see more than a short distance.

  Until this journey she never dreamed there was a place where it seemed one could see forever. Clint had told her the mountains she saw on the horizon were days away and most of the creeks and streams they’d come across only trickled.

  “Fiona.”

  Rose’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Yes.”

  “Could you get Clint for me?”

  “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Then, I’ll get him.” Fiona took the red bandana from her pocket and tied it to the pole at her side. With one hand she held it to the side of the wagon and waved it up and down. This was a prearranged signal they had come up with when Zeke had asked Clint to ride his horse and help keep the wagons moving until Mac returned.

  It wasn’t long until Clint’s horse came up beside the wagon. “What’s up?”

  “Rose wants you.”

  He nodded and moved to the back of the wagon where he tethered his horse. With the wagon still rolling, he came back to the front and jumped to the seat. Without saying anything to Fiona, he climbed through the opening into the wagon bed.

  Fiona glanced around and saw Clint take a seat beside his wife. Soon they were in a deep conversation. She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but they talked for a long time.

  * * * *

  Hope cried and Clint settled her against Rose’s breast. Rose looked up at him. “I’m sorry to drag you in here to talk to me.”

  “I don’t mind, Rose. I’m sure it was important.”

  “I keep having bad dreams. Last night and every time I’ve dozed off today. It happens every time I go to sleep,”

  “What are you dreaming, Rose?”

  “I see Leo Craver coming at me.”

  “You know Leo Craver’s in Baltimore. He’s not out here on the prairie. Even he wouldn’t be stupid enough to come out here.”

  She smiled. “Are you saying that you and I are stupid?”

  He smiled back. “I don’t say that about you, but I was sure stupid to bring you on this train. If I’d only known you was as far along with your...”

  “I knew you wouldn’t bring me if I told you, Clint. I wanted to come.” She reached over and took his hand. “Will you forgive me for lying to you?”

  “Of course I will, Rose. I know you wanted to get as far away as you could.”

  She closed her eyes. “I called you for another reason besides the dreams.” He waited and she went on. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry I drug you into my messed up life.”

  “Rose, I chose to get involved in your life. You didn’t drag me into it.”

  “Maybe at first, but you didn’t want to marry me. You only did it to give my baby a name.”

  “We’ve been over this before. I married you because I wanted to. Now Hope has a name. She will always be a Larson and there will be no question about her birth.”

  “But...”

  “Don’t argue with me, Rose. We’re married and we’re going to build a life in Oregon. Things will work out. You’ll see.”

  “I do see, Clint. I see the way you look at Fiona. If it wasn’t for me...”

  “Stop it! Fiona is a wonderful woman and she’s a great friend, but you’re my wife.”

  “But if I wasn’t in the way...”

  “Stop it, Rose.” He started to stand. “We’re married and that’s that.”

  “No it’s not.” She pulled him back to her. “I have to tell you something else.”

  Clint frowned. “Rose, you’re thinking too much being in this wagon all day. Maybe tomorrow, you could sit on the bench with Fiona for a bit.”

  “I’m fine, Clint. I only want you to know what I did.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I asked Fiona to take care of my baby if anything happened to me.”

  “Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

  “I don’t know. I have this strange feeling.”

  “You’re overwrought after giving birth.”

  “No. You’re wrong. I had a vision while I was in labor. I know I’ll not live to see Hope grown. I didn’t think you would want to take care of her by yourself, and I see what a wonderful mother Fiona is to Joey, so I asked her to take care of my baby if I didn’t make it.”

  “You’re talking crazy. You’re going to live to see Hope give you grandchildren.”

  Rose shook her head. “No, I’m not. I don’t know for sure what it is, but something is wrong. Terribly wrong.”

  “Rose, I wish I could convince you...”

  “You can’t. I only want you to know you won’t have to worry about Hope when I’m gone. Fiona will raise her. She’ll be good to her and she’ll raise her right.”

  Clint shook his head, but said nothing.

  “Don’t worry. If I make it to Oregon, you’ll be free to go back to Texas if you want to. You won’t have to...”

  “Stop it, Rose. I’m not leaving you. When we got married, I vowed to take care of you and I intend to keep my vow.”

  Hope finished her meal and went to sleep. Rose put her across her stomach and rubbed her back. “I know you mean it, Clint, but I also know how attracted you are to Fiona.”

  “I might be attracted to her, but I haven’t acted on it and I don’t intend to.”

  Rose smiled at him. “I know you haven’t, but there might come a time when you will. I want you to know if you do, I’ll understand.”

  He shook his head. “Do we have to continue to talk about this?”

  “There’s only one more thing. I want you to know that Fiona is as attracted to you as you are to her.”

  “I don’t think so. She’s only grateful because we helped her get away from the man who’s chasing her.”

  “It’s up to you if you want to think that. I’m sure she’ll never act on her feelings either.” She smiled at him. “We’re lucky to have her, Clint.”

  “At last you’ve said something I agree with.”

  She laughed. “Now I’ll let you get back to whatever you need to do, but I want you to remember this conversation.”

  “If you want me to remember, I will.” Clint leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “Any time, Rose. You’re a special woman, yourself.”

  * * * *

  Clint climbed from the back of the wagon and took a seat beside Fiona. “How are you today?”

  “I’m fine. It’s nice to be the front wagon and I’m sure it’s better for Rose and Hope.”

  “It is. Rose said as soon as she feels better, she plans to sit up a while.”

  “Do you think she should?”

  “If
she wants to, I guess it’ll be all right.” He pulled his hat down over his forehead. “It might do her good to sit with you.”

  “Are you sure she’s all right, Clint?”

  “I’m sure.” He gave her a smile. “I guess I’d better get back to Zeke. He’s getting concerned because Mac hasn’t shown up today.”

  “Where does he go every day?”

  “He scouts ahead and comes back to let us know where he thinks we can make camp or he lets us know of any danger ahead.”

  “I hope everything is all right with him.”

  “So do I.” Clint jumped from the wagon. “Thanks for everything you’re doing for Rose, Fiona.”

  Joey came running up. “Uncle Clint, are you going to ride your horse?”

  “Yep.”

  “Can I ride with you?”

  Clint glanced at Fiona. “If Fiona says it’s all right.”

  She hesitated, then said, “I guess you can go for a little while.” She looked at Clint.

  “I’ll take good care of him,” Clint said before she could say anything else.

  “Where’s your friend, Benny?” she heard Clint ask as they walked toward the back of the wagon.

  “He made his ma mad and he has to stay with her until supper,” Joey answered.

  Fiona didn’t hear any more of their conversation, though she couldn’t help smiling. It still amazed her that Joey always ran to Clint when Benny wasn’t available to play. Shaking her head, she shook the reins over the mules and looked out across the barren land.

  * * * *

  They made camp on the open prairie. After the wagons circled and the livestock were penned in the center, Fiona took the short handled shovel and began digging a fire pit.

  “Here, let me do that for you.”

  She looked up and smiled at Bruce Fritz. “Thank you. The ground is pretty hard, but I think it can be dug.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I can dig it.”

  “How’s your family, Bruce? Is Susie doing all right?”

  “She’s not talking much, but I guess she’s still not over being grabbed.”

  “Someone grabbed her?” Fiona’s was taking the pots out of the sack, but paused to look at him.

  “Yes. She told us that much.”

  Fiona felt a drop in her stomach. Surely it wasn’t Luther Markin. “Bruce, did she say what he looked like?”

  “Not really. She only said he had on fancy clothes. Something gold and silky.” He grinned then blushed.

  “I see.” Luther Markin would never wear fancy clothes. Especially not something gold and silky.

  Looking back at his work, Bruce said, “Mama told me to come and check on Miz Rose and the baby.”

  “Rose is still weak, but she’s getting stronger. The baby’s healthy. Tell your mama I appreciate her concern and tell her I’m glad Susie is doing as well as she is.”

  “I’ll tell her.”

  Bruce continued to dig and Fiona got out the coffeepot and grinder for the beans. She noticed the sweat had popped out on Bruce’s forehead. “I think you have it deep enough for the fire.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She nodded and he said, “I’ll build the fire for you.”

  “Good. I’m not great with fires and Clint is busy helping Zeke.” She gave him a smile. “There’re a few small pieces of wood in the bundle under the wagon. If you can get it started for me, I’ll burn the buffalo chips Joey’s been collecting.”

  “That’s a good idea.” He moved to the wagon and took out a couple of pieces of dry wood.

  When he came back to the fire pit he said, “I think I heard the baby crying.”

  “It’s about time for it to eat. I’ll go check on Rose and be right back.” Fiona moved to the back of the wagon and climbed in.

  “He’s wet, Fiona,” Rose said as she sat up to reach for a diaper.

  “I’ll change him for you, Rose. You look tired.”

  “I’m sorry I can’t get out and help you with supper, but this bumping in the wagon all day has been tiring.”

  “Don’t think a thing about it. I’ll get something cooked and either Clint or I will bring it to you.”

  “Thank you, Fiona. You’re such a blessing to us.”

  Fiona put the dry infant at Rose’s breast. “I think I was the one blessed when I met you and Clint.”

  Rose cuddled her baby to her and gave Fiona a weak smile. “You haven’t forgotten your promise, have you, Fiona?”

  “Rose...I...”

  “Please. It’s important for you to remember.”

  “I remember, Rose.” On impulse Fiona bent and kissed Rose’s cheek. “I hope I never have to act on that promise.”

  Rose only smiled and Fiona backed out of the wagon. Moving back to the cooking area, she said, “Oh, Bruce, what a nice fire you have going.”

  He blushed. “I hope you’ll be able to cook on it.”

  “Of course I will.” She filled the coffee pot from the water barrel, threw a handful of the ground beans in it, and sat it on the fire.

  Joey came running up. “Ma, Uncle Clint said I had to come help you. What do you want me to do?”

  “Why don’t you get some of the dried beef out of the pack at the back of the wagon? There are some dried vegetables in the box next to it. I think I’ll make a stew for Rose. She needs to build up her strength.”

  “Mama’s making stew, too. It’s about all Susie will eat now.” He blushed. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Miss Fiona?”

  “I don’t think so, Bruce, but I do appreciate what you’ve done. Digging a pit and starting a fire is not something I do well.”

  “Then, I guess I better get back to our wagon. I’ll tell Mama Miz Rose is doing fine.”

  “Thank you again, Bruce.”

  When he was gone, Fiona turned to Joey. “Did you have a good time with Clint today?”

  “I sure did. He let me ride with him until Mr. Zeke wanted to go look for Mr. Mac.” He handed her the beef and vegetables. “He was going to bring me back to our wagon, but Benny was able to play then. I’ve been with him.”

  “I know. Clint rode up and told me where you were. You know I always want to know your whereabouts.” Fiona placed the pot on a bar across the fire and filled it with water. She then put the vegetables and meat in. “I sure wish I could make biscuits like Rose, but I guess you and Clint will have to do with my cornbread tonight.”

  “Your cornbread is good.” He grinned at her.

  “I’m glad you think so, sweetheart.” She ran her fingers through his hair.

  Joey was quiet for a few minutes. He broke the silence when he muttered, “I have to tell you something.”

  Fiona looked at him. He had his head down and was rubbing the toe of his shoe in the dirt. “What is it, Joey?”

  “I told Uncle Clint last night you was my aunt not my ma,” he blurted. “I know you didn’t want me to, but I couldn’t help it.”

  She took a deep breath. “What did Clint say?”

  “He said he’d already figured out you ain’t my ma.”

  “Aren’t, Joey. Not ain’t.”

  “Are you mad at me?”

  Fiona shook her head. “No, honey. I’m not mad at you. I told Rose the same thing a few days ago. We probably should have told Clint sooner.”

  He looked up at her. His big brown eyes glistened. “I’m sure glad you’re not mad, Aunt Fiona.”

  Clint walked up and dropped his saddle beside the wagon. “Something’s beginning to smell good.”

  “I’m making a stew. I thought Rose would like it.”

  “Good. I’ll like it, too.” He came to the camp fire. “Is the coffee about done?”

  “It should be.” Fiona picked up a cup from the work table and handed it to him. “Did Zeke find Mac?”

  “He’s not back yet.”

  “I hope nothing has happened to him. Mac seems like a nice man.”

  “He’s good at his job. I’m sure he’s fine.” Clint downed his coffee.
“I’ll make a round to be sure nobody needs anything. I’ll be back by the time the stew’s done.”

  When Clint returned Fiona fixed a bowl for Rose and Clint said he’d take his supper and eat with her.

  Fiona and Joey were sitting at the camp fire eating their stew when Joey looked up at his aunt.

  Joey broke the silence. “Ma, do you like Aunt Rose’s baby?”

  Fiona looked surprised at the question. “Of course I do, honey. Don’t you?”

  “I think I do, but I’d like it better if it wasn’t so little.”

  She laughed. “Hope won’t stay small long. She’ll be running around like you before you know it.”

  “Before we get to Oregon?”

  “Not then, but it still won’t be long.”

  There was a minute of thinking then Joey asked, “Do you want to have a baby?”

  Fiona was startled. She wasn’t sure how to answer him. Finally she said, “I’m not married, Joey, but if I ever get married maybe I’ll have a baby someday.”

  “Who can you marry, Aunt Fiona?”

  She put her arm around his shoulder, not wanting him to know she noticed he was slipping between Aunt Fiona and Ma in his talking with her. “I don’t know, Joey. If I don’t ever get married and have a baby, I feel fulfilled. You’re my son now.”

  “Do you mean you’d still want me if you had a baby?”

  Taking his chin in her hand and turning it toward her, she said, “Joey, if I had a dozen babies, I’d never stop wanting you. You’ll always be with me and any children I might have would look at you as their big brother.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  “Good because I like being your son. I think I want to call you mama sometimes.”

  “I like being your other mama.” Her eyes watered and she planted a kiss on his forehead. “Now eat the rest of your supper. I want to get to bed early. I’ve had a busy day.”

  The fingers of dark had claimed the day when Clint climbed out with the empty bowls. Fiona and Joey were finishing their meal.