Fiona's Journey

by Agnes Alexander

  There was no reaction. There hadn’t been for a while, but Granny knew she had to make it all look natural. She didn’t want anything to be said about her doctoring.

  During the next couple of hours, she cleaned the body, wrapped it in a sheet, then climbed out of her wagon. She headed to tell Zeke she’d done all she could, but she’d lost her patient anyway. The bleeding didn’t stop and a man can’t live when he continues to bleed. She didn’t figure anyone would much care. Everyone knew a man who would rape a nice young woman like Rose Larson and then steal a pretty little girl like Susie Fritz had no right to live. Somebody who had reached the age of eighty-one years like she had certainly knew it was time for him to depart this world.

  Chapter 23

  The next morning at eight o’clock everyone traveling with the wagon train turned out for the internment of Rose and her father in side-by-side graves on a small knoll covered with a grove of cottonwood trees. Fiona stood with Hope in her arms. Clint rested his hand on Joey’s shoulder as the boy stood between him and Fiona.

  Though everyone knew Leo Carver had died in the early morning hours, Clint refused to let him be buried close to Rose. After her short funeral, Mac and a group of four men took Leo’s body a couple of miles to the south of the train. They dug a shallow grave and put his remains inside and got back on their horses. They didn’t bother to cover it with rocks or put up any kind of marker. They knew nobody was concerned enough to attend or ask if there would be a service of any sort.

  Zeke announced the train would pull out after the noon meal if Fiona and Clint were willing. They agreed it was what Rose would have wanted. “Besides,” Clint said, “it’ll help us begin to accept what’s happened.”

  The neighbors brought food to the Larson wagon and Fiona didn’t have to cook. Nina Fritz and Mattie Watson kept coffee hot for them until everyone was ready to pull out. Fiona did ask her neighbors if any of them had a medicine bottle or some other type bottle she could use to feed the baby. Within a couple of hours, she had a collection of seven bottles. She asked Mattie to boil some rags and dry them so they could be stuffed in the end of the bottles to absorb the milk, for the baby to suck. It worked. Hope adjusted to her new feeding and even seemed to enjoy the cow’s milk she was getting. Mattie told them it wouldn’t be long until the baby was on a regular eating schedule.

  When the wagons began to get ready to move out, Clint and Fiona walked to the grave one last time. Clint carried the baby and Fiona held Joey’s hand. She and her nephew were each carrying a handful of wild flowers.

  “Are we going to tell Aunt Rose ’bye like we did Mama and Daddy, Aunt Fiona?”

  “Yes, Joey we are.”

  “I’m going to miss her.”

  Clint reached down and ruffled his hair. “We’ll all miss her, Joey.”

  When they arrived at the grave, Clint began to push some stones around with the toe of his boot.

  “Let me have Hope so you can arrange the grave.” Fiona handed Joey her flowers and reached for the baby.

  Clint put Hope in Fiona’s arms, then knelt beside the burial plot and arranged the rocks in a different way. Nobody said anything for a minute, then Clint broke the silence. “Rose, my friend, I wish I could have saved you. I promised to protect you when you wanted to get away from Baltimore. I’m sorry I failed.”

  Fiona swallowed. “Rose, you and I both know Clint didn’t fail. There were people all around with guns. If your death could have been prevented, it would have been. There was nothing Clint or anyone else could’ve done to stop it. It was an unfortunate accident we all wish hadn’t happened.”

  After a minute of silence, Clint said, “Maybe she’s right, Rose. I would’ve gladly given my life to save yours. I just didn’t get the chance.”

  There was a moment of silence. Fiona whispered, “Did you want to say something, Joey?”

  “Yeah, I do.” He knelt by Clint and laid the flowers at the cross Ira had fashioned from two pieces of metal. On it hung a piece of wood with Rose’s name and the date. “Aunt Rose, I didn’t want you to die ’cause I like you. You let me take care of you and Hope sometimes. I’ll still help Aunt Fiona and Uncle Clint take care of her for you. We’ll be a good family. I know we will because we was a good family with you here.”

  He started to get up, then he added, “I wish Hope could remember you like I remember my mama and I’m sorry she’ll never get to taste your biscuits. I don’t think Aunt Fiona will ever learn to make them as good as you do.”

  Fiona began to cry and laugh at the same time.

  Clint brushed his eyes and stood. “Well, Rose, I think Joey said it all. We will take care of Hope and we’ll make sure she knows what a wonderful woman gave her life. And not only will we miss you, but we will miss your biscuits, too.”

  “Goodbye, my dear friend Rose. I’ll never forget you,” Fiona whispered as she turned away.

  Clint put his arm around Joey’s shoulder. “Well, Joey, now we have two women to get back to the wagon and to help get things together to head to Oregon. Are you ready?”

  “I sure am, Uncle Clint.”

  “Then let’s go. We don’t want to be the last wagon in line, do we?”

  * * * *

  When they did leave, Clint drove the wagon with Joey beside him on the seat. Fiona sat on the mattress in the wagon feeding Hope. Hannah Watson had milked the cow that morning and strained the milk and put the cream in a bucket. She tied it to the wagon with the hopes it would churn into butter before their next stop. Enough milk was set aside for Joey and to feed Hope until the evening milking. The rest was distributed among the nearby wagons, as Fiona had asked.

  The baby finished eating and Fiona burped her. She then held the child close to her breast and hummed a lullaby. It wasn’t long until Hope was asleep. Fiona kissed the top of her head, and put her in the crate Clint had turned into a baby bed. She covered her with a blanket Rose had made from one of her soft flannel nightgowns. As she tucked the material around Hope, tears came into her eyes.

  “Oh, Rose, how I miss you already. I thought of you as my best friend and I know you cared about me.” Fiona bit her lip. “What are we going to do without you?”

  Taking a deep breath, she looked out the front of the wagon. Clint was explaining something to Joey and her nephew was intent on what the older man was saying. She smiled. It was wonderful to see the two of them getting along so well. It would make an easier trip since they all liked each other, but things would never be the same. No matter how much she was attracted to Clint, seeing his sorrow made her realize there could never be anything between them. Whether she was here or not, Rose would always be a part of their lives.

  Turning from the bed, Fiona noticed the trunk where Rose kept her clothes. She flipped the lid and look inside. The dresses were of satins, silks, soft cottons and other expensive materials. All of them were beautiful. The kind of clothes Fiona had never owned nor ever expected to. Of course she couldn’t wear any of these things. Rose was shorter then Fiona and the skirts would be much too high on Fiona’s legs. Though she thought the things were lovely, she didn’t think she could have worn them even if they had fit. Then an idea hit her and she smiled. Yes, that’s what she’d do. She was sure it would be something Rose would approve of and she’d ask Clint the first chance she had.

  * * * *

  Bruce Fritz rode his horse up to the Larson wagon. “Hello, Clint.”

  “Bruce.”

  “Mama sent me to ask if Joey could bring his animals and come back to our wagon. Susie wants him to play with her.”

  “If Fiona doesn’t mind, I think it’s a good idea.” He leaned back and called to Fiona.

  Fiona moved to the opening in the front of the wagon. “Yes, Clint?”

  “Bruce wants to know if Joey can play with Susie for a while.”

  “Please. Can I go?”

  “Of course you may, Joey.”

  He stood. “I’ll get my animals. Susie wants to play with them.”
/>   When Joey got his toys, Bruce lifted him onto the horse. “Thanks, folks. We’ll see you when we stop for the evening. Mama said to tell you she was making supper for you.”

  “Thank you, Bruce,” Fiona said.

  Clint nodded as Bruce and Joey rode away.

  Fiona went back into the wagon and checked Hope. The baby was sleeping contentedly and she decided she’d join Clint on the seat.

  “Do you mind?” she said as she climbed up beside him.

  “Of course not.” He glanced at her. “How’s it going?”

  She shrugged. “It’s strange without Rose, Clint.”

  “I know it is, but you’re doing a great job with the baby. Rose knew what she was doing when she asked you to take her.”

  “I’ll always try to do my best by Hope, but I can never do as well as her own mother would do.”

  “Let’s take it one day at a time.” He reached over and patted her hand. “Look how you tackled the eating problem. I was sure we’d have to feed her by dipping rags in milk and holding them over her mouth until she was weaned. Then you came up with the idea of making a sort of nipple out of rags and stuffing it in a bottle so when you turned it up the milk would drip through it.”

  “It seems to be working. She’s eating and sleeping well and I believe she’s thriving.”

  They rode for a while in silence. Fiona looked at Clint and knew he was suffering, but she didn’t know how to help him. All she could do was be there if he needed her.

  She took a deep breath. “Clint, I had an idea when I was putting Hope down. I wanted to ask your opinion of it.”

  “Sure.”

  “It’s about Rose’s clothes.”

  “You can have her clothes if you want them, Fiona. You don’t have to ask me.”

  “I wish I could wear some of her clothes, but I can’t, Clint. I’m taller and thinner than Rose was. None of them would fit me except a shawl or maybe a hat. I would like to have those as mementoes.”

  “Of course. Help yourself.” He glanced at her and kind of smiled. “Maybe you could wear something besides that big floppy hat of yours.”

  “Now, Clint. I know you and Rose hated my floppy hat, but I like it. It keeps the sun out of my eyes and...”

  “But it flops up and down like a bird. I expect you to take off flying away one of these days.”

  She shook her head. “Back to what I wanted to ask you. Rose had some beautiful clothes and many are like new. What do you think about me taking some of then apart and making dresses for Hope as she grows?”

  He nodded. “I think it’s a good idea. Rose would like it.”

  “I thought so. I won’t make them all while Hope is little. I think as she gets older she’d like something that belonged to her mother.”

  “I’m sure she would.” He gave her a half smile. “You’re a thoughtful person, Fiona. No wonder Rose loved you so much,”

  “In the time I knew Rose, I learned to love her like a sister.”

  He gave her a lopsided grin. “She’d have never asked you to take her baby if she didn’t trust you completely.”

  “I’ll love Hope like my own.” She glanced at him. “You don’t think Rose’s mother will try to find the baby, do you?”

  “She’ll never know about the baby.” Clint took a deep breath. “As soon as we get to the fort, I plan to send her a letter telling her Rose and Wade are dead.”

  “What about Leo Carver?”

  “I don’t care about him.”

  “I don’t either, but Rose’s family might wonder.”

  He nodded. “You’re right. I’ll think of something.”

  * * * *

  After eating the stew and biscuits Nina Fritz sent them, Fiona was sitting on a folded blanket with Hope in her arms. Joey had coxed Susie to come and play with Benny and him, but they were staying close to the Fritz wagon.

  Zeke walked up. “Thought I’d check on you folks.”

  “Thank you, Zeke.” Fiona smiled at him. “Clint’s in the wagon looking for something and this little lady and I are sitting here enjoying the peaceful night.”

  “She’s a nice little tyke, isn’t she?”

  “I think so.”

  Clint climbed out of the wagon. “Thought I heard voices out here.”

  “Wanted to see if everything went all right today,” Zeke said.

  “It went fine.” Clint folded a piece of paper and put it in his pocket.

  “I know it’s tough on you two, but you know—”

  “We’re fine, Zeke,” Clint interrupted him. “We know the wagon train has to keep going and so do we.”

  “It’s always hard when we lose someone on the trail, but some deaths are harder to take than others.” Zeke put his hat on. “I’ll see you folks tomorrow.”

  “Thanks for dropping by, Zeke.” Fiona smiled at him again.

  When he was gone, Clint took the paper from his pocket and handed it to her. “Read this and see what you think.”

  She took it and began to read.

  Dear Mrs. Fillmore,

  Leo Carver and your husband caught up with Rose and me on the Oregon Trail. I’m sorry they did because it resulted in a tragedy. Rose told both men we were happy and she had no intention of ever coming back to Baltimore until her family accepted our marriage. After seeing how happy Rose was, your husband accepted this fact and said he would return to you with the news and maybe someday you could travel west to visit your daughter. Carver was livid because he had decided he was going to take Rose back to Baltimore and marry her no matter what she wanted or your husband said. He was so infuriated he turned a gun on your husband. Rose jumped in front of her father to save his life and the bullet hit her. Seeing what happened to Rose, Wade grabbed a gun and shot Carver. As he was dying, Carver was able to shoot your husband. I figure Carver is no loss, but it is with a sad heart that I have to inform you of the deaths of Mr. Fillmore and Rose. Be comforted by the fact that Rose told me many times she loved you and her sisters very much and hoped that when her family finally accepted our marriage we would all be reunited in the future. God help you through this trying time. I am having the wagon master and five other people sign this letter so you will know I’ve relayed the facts to you exactly as they happened.

  Clint Larson

  Fiona handed the letter back to him with tears in her eyes. “It’s perfect, Clint. I hope it will be a comfort to her mother.”

  “Since you approve, I’ll go show it to Zeke now.” He strode away.

  Fiona watched as he disappeared into the darkness. She knew he must have loved Rose with all his heart. Her heart was breaking, not only for him, but also for herself.

  Chapter 24

  While they were waiting for supper several nights later, Zeke sent word down the train that they’d be stopping near Chimney Rock for the next evening.

  “What’s Chimney Rock?” Joey looked up at Clint.

  “It’s the formation we’ve been seeing for a few days. We’re getting closer and closer to it. Have you watched it get taller and taller?”

  “I bet it’s a thousand feet tall.” Joey’s eyes got big.

  “I don’t think it’s quite that tall, but maybe three or four hundred feet.”

  “I hope you guys aren’t discussing how far you’re going to throw my buffalo steaks.” Fiona looked toward them.

  “Shoot, Aunt Fiona. You know we wouldn’t do that.” Joey laughed.

  “He’s right,” Clint said as he shifted Hope on his lap. “I appreciate the Johnsons sharing the meat with us and I know you’re going to cook it superbly.”

  She laughed and shook her head. “I think you better burp her.”

  Clint put the baby on his shoulder and patted her back the way Fiona had shown him.

  “Well, ain’t that a pretty sight.” Granny Weatherbee walked up. “I knowed you’d be a good papa.”

  “I’ve got a lot to learn.”

  “It’ll come along.” She looked at Fiona. “Somebody told me the baby
was a little colicky so I brought you the herb to help her little tummy.”

  “Thank you, ma’am. She cried a lot last night and today. She’s the best right now she’s been.”

  “Maybe she likes for her daddy to hold her.” Granny smiled at him.

  “She does,” Joey said. “Uncle Clint’s a good daddy. Sometimes I forget he’s not my daddy, too.”

  “Sometimes, I forget you’re not my son, Joey.” Clint nodded at him and a grin spread across Joey’s lips.

  Fiona’s heart lurched. She couldn’t help thinking it’d be wonderful if Clint was Joey’s father in the same way she was his mother. She swallowed when she noticed the knowing eyes Granny Weatherbee had on her. She quickly changed the subject. “Would you like to have supper with us? I’m not the best cook, but I think these steaks will turn our pretty good.”

  “She sure can’t make biscuits like Aunt Rose could,” Joey informed their visitor.

  Granny laughed. “Well, one of these days, maybe she’ll learn to make good ones.” She turned back to Fiona. “Thank you for inviting me, honey, but I better get back. My grandson and his wife are making some kind of buffalo hash and they expect me to eat it.”

  “I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

  “Probably. At my age it don’t make much difference what you eat. Food is only to keep the body operating and I want to operate mine as long as I can.”

  “You seem to be doing a good job.”

  “Thank you.” She glanced back at Clint and Joey. “You take good care of your little family, honey. I’m sure they appreciate all you do.”

  The old lady was walking off before Fiona could answer, but she was sure Granny Weatherbee winked at her as she strode away.

  * * * *

  For two days after they passed Chimney Rock Joey and his friends were still talking about it. They drew pictures and they talked about how they could climb it if they had the time. Zeke told them if they wanted to climb a rock they should be coming up on Independence Rock in a few weeks.