by Mari Carr
It was the only thing he could have said to calm her down. To soothe the ragged parts of her that couldn’t quite understand what had just happened. Throughout everything, Liam had seemed so sure of what they were doing, of what he wanted. The idea that he was rattled as well comforted her.
“Just so you know—the fling’s not over, kiddo.”
She raised one eyebrow, hoping the look hid exactly how much she’d been freaking out. “I don’t remember saying it was.”
Liam gave her a quick, hard kiss. “We have until the end of August to figure it all out.”
In the past, she would have run out of this barn as fast as her feet would carry her. But Liam had sparked something inside her. She wanted to explore it. He’d just admitted that the time limit stood, the boundaries that protected her were still in place. It gave her the courage to return. “I’m not bowing out, cowboy.”
His thumbs stroked her cheeks in that way that she loved way too much.
“I have to go.”
“I know.” He dropped his hands, allowing her to take a couple steps back. The distance didn’t help. He still overwhelmed her, consumed too much of her space. “I’ll be at Spurs around ten.”
She didn’t even bother to argue with him. If Liam said he would be there, he would, and it didn’t matter a lick what she said. She didn’t even bother to chastise herself for how happy she would be to see him. “Fine.”
Chapter Nine
Jade wiped the sweat from her brow, then put her hat back on to shield her eyes from the hot sun. It was mid-August and there wasn’t a speck of hope for cooler weather anywhere on the horizon. The summer had been a bitch, beating down on Wyoming for nearly two months without providing a drop of rain. In addition to the normal ranch chores, Jade had spent a fair amount of time hauling water to the cattle as the streams had run dry.
She leaned against the fence, watching a couple hands help Liam with Fearless. They’d put a rider on him for the first time last week and the bull had lived up to their expectations. Hell, Fearless had surpassed them. He was one mean-ass bull. She grinned as the bull kicked out against the training straps with enough force to nearly drag all three men off their feet.
Jade could just imagine the line of rodeo cowboys lining up in hopes of going eight seconds on him. Good luck with that. Her uncle Seth had told her about Bodacious, the world’s most dangerous bull. Like Bodacious, Fearless had a dangerous kick that would no doubt buck off even the most seasoned riders. While Liam didn’t say as much, she knew he was excited by Fearless’s prospects. Owning such a bull would not only be profitable, it would build upon Circle H’s reputation, make them a real competitor in the business of outfitting rodeos.
Jade hoped all of that came to pass. No one worked harder or deserved to see genuine success more than Liam.
Liam handed a strap over to a third ranch hand before walking to where Jade stood. “I’m going to have to run into town. I’m meeting Jesse Wilkins and his son about providing some broncs for the amateur competition they’re organizing next month. Want to ride along?”
Jade shook her head. “Nope. Jesse’s son is a pervert. Not interested in spending an hour with the asshole staring at my tits and making suggestive comments under his breath the whole time.”
Liam wrapped his arm around her shoulder, tugging her closer. “Didn’t realize that’s what classified someone as depraved in your world. So I guess I’m one too?”
She laughed. “Oh yeah. You’re a huge perv.”
Liam kissed the top of her head. “I love you, kiddo. I’ll see you this afternoon.”
He pulled his truck keys out of his front jeans pocket and got in the pickup without ever realizing the wake he left in his departure.
She watched him pull away, panic rearing its ugly head. For two months, they’d worked, eaten and slept side by side, but never once had they spoken the word love aloud. Because of that, Jade had let herself pretend it didn’t figure into the equation.
Jade looked around Circle H, seeing the house, the barn and the pastures through different eyes. She’d come to consider this place her home.
And she was in love with Liam.
“Fuck,” she whispered. She’d done it. Let him get too close. Her heart began to race—with fear, panic. Jade tried to calm her breathing, but it was pointless. Frantically, she glanced around the ranch, searching for an answer.
A way out.
Her gaze landed on Angel, the bucking bronc Liam had recently purchased. It was an amazing horse—strong, tough, perfect.
“Hey, Bucky. Give me a hand, will you?”
Bucky walked over, frowning. “Hand with what?”
“I want to put a saddle on Angel.”
“What the hell for?”
Jade looked skyward, praying for patience, her nerves tattered. If Bucky tried to talk her out of what she planned to do, she’d punch his lights out. “Because I’m going to ride him.”
Bucky shook his head. “Are you crazy?”
Jade narrowed her eyes, her hands on her hips. “No. I’m not. I break horses on Compass Ranch all the time. This isn’t that much different. Now are you going to help me or am I going to tell your sister about you sleeping with those two buckle bunnies in her bed when she was away for that religious revival last month?”
Bucky took off his hat and beat it against his jeans. “Now come on, Jade. Let’s don’t get mean about it. Judy would skin me alive if she knew about that. She already thinks I’m going to Hell, praying for my damn soul day and night. I don’t need her sending me there any earlier. Why don’t we just wait until Liam gets back? Make sure he’s okay with this.”
Jade’s temper erupted. “I don’t need Liam Harrison’s permission to do a fucking thing.”
“Well, dammit, I do. He wouldn’t like this.”
“Isn’t it a shame I don’t live my life to make sure Liam’s happy?”
“That horse is too new, Jade. We don’t know what he’s capable of yet. What about Jewel? She’ll give you a good spin. Lots of kick in her.”
“No. I want Angel.”
Bucky muttered a slew of choice words under his breath, but then, finally, he grabbed a saddle, getting the horse ready for Jade.
“Damn suicide,” Bucky said as she climbed the fence, ready to mount.
Jade was offended by his lack of confidence in her. Angel wasn’t the first wild horse she’d ever ridden and he wouldn’t be the last. She loved the thrill of holding on—woman versus beast. “I’m not that bad a rider.”
“Not talking about you. When Liam finds out I put you on this horse, he’ll break my neck.”
Jade rolled her eyes. “You ready?”
Bucky nodded grudgingly, then opened the gate to set Angel loose. Jade tightened her grip, grinning at the strength of the horse’s first powerful leap. For several seconds she lost all sense of her surroundings as the battle between her and the horse raged.
However, her concentration broke when she heard someone yelling her name. She turned just in time to see Liam scaling the fence. Her grip slipped as Angel gave one last, powerful buck.
Jade flew through the air, dust and dirt clogging her lungs and blinding her as she fell to the dry, brown ground.
She landed hard, the wind knocked from her, but she didn’t have time to consider that before she was dragged up and pulled out of the corral.
She grasped her head in an attempt to stop her brain from rattling around. Once the world stopped moving, she heard Liam’s voice.
“What the fuck were you doing?”
“Riding Angel.”
Her short answer seemed to give Liam an apoplexy as he threw his hands in the air, leaning over her, pure fury radiating from him.
“Do you have some sort of death wish?”
“No. I don’t.”
Liam squeezed her upper arm tighter as he dragged her across the yard. “Oh yeah. That was obvious from the fact you were sitting on your ass with that horse’s hooves just inches from kic
king you in the head. Jesus, Jade!”
“I wouldn’t have been on the ground if you hadn’t distracted me. Did you see how long I stayed on?”
Liam’s face flushed a brighter shade of red. Jade wondered if she’d ever seen him so angry. “Bucky!”
“Yeah, boss?” Bucky jogged up next to them, clearly afraid he’d be fired for his part in Jade’s stupidity as Liam continued to drag her toward the house.
“Call Jesse. Tell him I can’t make it.”
“Sure thing.”
Liam stopped and turned to look at the ranch hand. “And I’ll deal with you after I’ve taken care of Jade.”
Bucky bowed his head, guilt and anxiety at war in his expression.
“It wasn’t Bucky’s fault. I coerced him.”
Bucky shot her a grateful look, but her defense didn’t appear to help much.
“Don’t give a shit. He got you up on that horse. I’m not likely going to forget that anytime soon.”
Jade tried to shake off Liam’s hand, but his grip was implacable. “What are you doing here anyway? What about the meeting?”
“I forgot the contracts. They’re on the kitchen table.”
“Oh.”
“Did you really think you were going to take a joyride on one of my best horses without me finding out?”
Actually, she knew he’d find out. While Bucky wouldn’t have said anything, the other hands would have filled Liam in the second he got home, anxious to share the gossip. She’d expected his anger. It was what she’d been banking on.
Once they were in Liam’s bedroom, he released her.
She whirled on him. “Finished with the bully act?”
“Don’t test me, Jade.”
Jade lowered her head, struggled to take a deep breath, but her lungs had seized, gone tight. The walls of the room closed in on her. She’d ridden the horse with the sole purpose of starting this fight. Now…now she didn’t know what to do. “I need to leave.”
“Why?”
“I just need some space, okay? You’re suffocating me.”
Silence fell as Jade fought to find some semblance of composure. Liam walked to the bed and sank down on the mattress. “What happened? What freaked you out?”
“You’re changing the rules again.”
He frowned. “How?”
“Is this a fling, Liam?”
He didn’t respond, his silence answering her question.
“It was never that to you, was it?”
He looked at her, but again, silence was her response.
“I can’t be what you need. I’ll never be the meek, quiet little woman who doesn’t blink twice without permission. I can’t be her. I’ll never be her.”
“Who?”
“Celia.”
Liam reared back as if she’d punched him. “I don’t want a Celia replacement. I want you.”
“Why?”
“You don’t get it, do you, Jade? You don’t see it.”
Suddenly she felt exhausted, worn out. She wanted to go home to her little cabin on Compass Ranch, crawl into her bed and sleep for the next five or six years. “You lied to me. This whole summer has been one big fib.”
Liam didn’t bother to deny it. “Yeah. It was. I didn’t go into this thinking it would end with Sienna and Daniel’s wedding.”
“What were you hoping for?”
“Something a lot more long-term.”
“You said you loved me.”
He sighed, nodding as understanding lit his face. “Got it. Now I see. So you got up on the horse to piss me off. To pick a fight.”
Jade looked down at her hands. “I told you I suck at relationships.”
Liam chuckled, though the sound was more sad than amused. “You’re right. You do.” Liam stood and walked toward her. Then he cupped her face and forced her to look at him. “But I still love you.”
He tugged her closer, kissed her softly. Soon his touches became more passionate.
Jade tried to take a step away, but he wouldn’t release her. “Sex isn’t going to change how I feel, Liam.”
“I know that. But right now, it’s all I have to offer that you’ll accept.” He continued to kiss her, his lips worshipping her mouth, cheeks, ears, neck. He burned a sensual path along her skin until Jade stopped caring about the lies, the future. All of it.
She wanted him.
Jade tugged his T-shirt over his head, doing a little lip reconnaissance of her own. She kissed his chest, licked his tight brown nipples, bit his pecs. Words faded, giving way to actions.
In this, they were connected, similar. Liam undressed her. As he worked to remove her clothes, her hands were busy stripping him as well. Within minutes, they were naked and they fell onto the bed, their limbs tangled together as they kissed, touched, caressed, stroked.
Jade ran her fingernails along his back when Liam took her under him. His lips never left hers as he placed his cock at her opening and pushed in. He thrust hard, deep, sure. The rhythm was familiar, comforting.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him to move faster. Through it all, their lips were connected. Jade loved sharing the same air, savored his smell, his taste. In just two short months, Liam had enmeshed himself in every part of her world—claiming her work hours, her meal times, holding her as she slept. Now she couldn’t imagine doing any of those things without him.
His fingers grazed her clit, drawing her back into the moment, away from the thoughts that left her unsettled.
“This is as easy as breathing, Jade. Just let go.”
She knew he wasn’t talking about sex, but it was simpler to pretend he was. Her body trembled as she let the climax claim her, wash away every worry, every fear.
Liam joined her, his body tensing as he came. For several minutes, neither of them moved, made no attempt to part.
Jade was the first to pull away. She started to rise, but Liam refused to let her go. Tugging back the sheets, he tucked her beneath them with him.
“Stay here,” he whispered. “Just a little longer.”
She allowed herself to accept the embrace, to soak up the closeness, the intimacy. Closing her eyes, Jade gave in to the fatigue of the past few weeks, letting sleep claim her in a rare afternoon nap.
“What are you doing here?”
Jade dropped her suitcase by the door, then walked over to sit down on the couch, exhausted, frustrated. “I live here.”
Sterling claimed the spot next to her. “Oh jeez. What did you do?”
“Why do you assume I’m the one who screwed things up?”
Sterling grinned at her. “Didn’t you?”
Jade narrowed her eyes, gave her cousin a dirty look. “Yeah. But you could at least pretend I’m not always a fuckup.”
“Sorry. So let’s have it. What happened?”
“He turned all possessive and controlling on me. Started trying to tell me what I could and couldn’t do. I don’t play that way.”
Sterling frowned. “That doesn’t sound like Liam. What did he tell you not to do?”
“I hopped on the back of one of his bucking broncs. Felt like taking a ride. He freaked out about it.”
“No shit. I mean, did he say it was okay…before you did it?”
Jade shook her head, trying to ward off the headache looming.
“Jesus. Why would you do something so stupid?”
Jade rubbed her eyes wearily. She was tired of lying. To her cousin, to Liam, to herself. “He said he loved me.”
Sterling leaned her head back and looked at the ceiling, disappointment rife on her face. “Ah. He committed the cardinal sin. Now I’m starting to get the picture. So you reverted to character and found a way to sabotage the relationship.”
“I don’t ruin my relationships.”
Sterling stood up, throwing her hands into the air with frustration. “Dammit, Jade! That’s all you ever do. It’s been the same pattern since high school.”
Jade was too shattered to argue. Besides, she c
ouldn’t find the words to defend herself. She’d gotten on that horse because she’d known it would infuriate Liam. She’d wanted to provoke the fight because it would give her a chance to get away.
Unfortunately, Liam wasn’t fooled. He’d dragged her to his bedroom and made love to her. Her stomach clenched.
Why did a word that usually gave a person so much joy scare the shit out of her? It was always the same. Someone would get too close and she’d take off in the opposite direction as fast as her Harley would carry her.
Liam had rolled over when she left his bed less than an hour ago, watching in silence as she packed her things. Once the suitcase was filled, she’d sat down on the edge of the mattress.
“So that’s it?” he’d asked.
“I just need some time to figure stuff out.”
Liam had given her a sad smile. “Looks to me like you already have.”
She’d wanted to protest, but he’d sat up and placed a soft finger against her lips. “Do what you have to do, kiddo.”
He’d kissed her, then said goodbye.
She’d driven straight here, fighting like the devil to hold in the tears. She didn’t bother to pretend that she wouldn’t shed a lot of them tonight.
Sterling plopped down on the chair across the room. “Do you remember Sienna’s sixteenth birthday?”
Jade nodded, confused by Sterling’s sudden change of subject. “Sure. We had that sleepover.” They’d snuck up to the hayloft with a bottle of tequila Jade had smuggled out of her dad’s liquor cabinet. They’d gotten wasted, then busted by Uncle Seth and Jake. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You made a vow that night. I didn’t think much of it at the time because we were just kids. What the hell did we know about love and relationships? You said you planned to always be the person who did the breaking up. That you’d never let anyone hurt you. Do you remember that?”
Jade would never forget it. They’d been talking about some girl at school whose boyfriend had dumped her. The girl had been devastated, crying for weeks. On its own, Jade suspected Jenna’s typical-young girl response wouldn’t have made much of a mark on her. But something else happened around the same time and combined, the two events had made a lasting impression.
