I shift on the bench. “I’m thankful every day for them. I know most people don’t have what I have. I finally realized that. And wish that you did have that. You of all people deserve it.”
Ryan gives me a small smile. “We can’t choose our family.”
“But we can choose our friends,” I say.
Ryan laughs. We had heard that on a TV show once.
“Are we gonna sit here and cry like girls now or what?” I say, and we both start laughing.
When we finish, I look at him. There’s something nagging at me, and I need to ask him.
“Are you still doing drugs?”
The entire locker room is quiet as I wait for him to answer. I don’t know what will happen if he says yes.
He finally shakes his head. “Nah. You were right.”
Practice on Monday is hell.
I’m used to the coach pushing us to our limits, but this time he reaches a new level. I’m seeing spots in my vision, I’m struggling for breath, and my clothes are drenched as I run up and down the stairs, again and again. One guy finally collapses.
“Take a two-minute break, then get ready to do some suicides,” Coach yells from the bottom. His clipboard is in his hand again, but he hasn’t bothered looking at it the entire practice. This is all we’ve been doing. No practicing plays or free throws. Just this.
We walk and stumble to our water bottles on the sidelines. Everyone either sits or sprawls out on the floor. We look like soldiers that just lost a major battle. And died.
“We have not been a team. We have not been playing like a team, and that needs to change today. Am I understood?”
I sit up. “Yes, sir,” we say, all at different times. We even sound dead, like zombies.
“If you can’t trust your own teammates, what’s the point?” the coach goes on. “All of you may not be best friends outside of this court, or even friends at all. But when you’re here, on my court, you communicate. You work together. We win.”
I look down, with my head in my hands. He’s right. I’m ready to do just that. And from the looks of it, everyone else is too.
“You know what to do.” He points to the sideline, where we always start our suicides. I struggle to jog over there but follow everyone there. He blows the whistle just as I get there. Our sneakers squeak as we push ourselves to the other side of the gym. Another whistle. The sound of lungs struggling to get enough air.
A few minutes later, coach yells, “One minute break.” I speed walk to the bleachers for my water bottle. I close my eyes as the cool fluid slides down my throat. I take a seat on the floor with everyone else and try to slow my breathing down. I glance at some of the other guys. They can’t even talk.
“Get up, and get to your positions.” Looks like we’re having some actual practice after all.
As if afraid that the coach will change his mind, all of us are in our positions in seconds.
We finally go through some plays, and this time, we’re a lot closer to the team we need to be.
I have the ball. I dribble this way and that, deciding who I’m going to pass to. I Damien, and I bounce pass. It’s off, though, and Philip grabs it instead. The gym is filled with the sounds of us yelling to each other as we get open for a pass.
“What was that, Jimmy? Focus,” the coach says. I glance at him, but I run to the other side of the court along with everyone else. He hasn’t talked to me like that in…ever. I try to focus, like the coach said, but it’s hard. I receive a pass from Ryan, and drive in, like I’m supposed to for this play. I miss. Not even close.
“Do we need to run stairs again?” coach says. I wish he would let up a little. Everyone has bad days, and I’m exhausted.
“Let’s go,” the coach keeps saying. We’re talking to each other, but there’s no joking, no laughing, like there usually is. I miss that.
By the end of practice, everyone’s head is down as they walk out of the gym. I’m walking behind Ryan, still not sure if we’re talking or not.
I stand a few feet beside him on the sidewalk outside.
I catch him look at me, and I glance back at him. He looks like he’s deciding whether to say something or not.
“Uh,” he begins, “is it okay if I ride with you?”
“Duh,” I say. And we finally smile but don’t say anything after that.
When my mom pulls up five minutes later, we walk over there, still silent.
“Where’s Mayra?” he asks as we get there.
“She’s been busy,” I reply, getting in. We haven’t really talked in a few days. It seems that as some things get better, others get worse.
The next Thursday, I finally turn in my highlights video to Coach Rogers. Practices are finally back to normal, as well as the team. Ryan and I are hanging out again. Not as much, but it’s something.
We still haven’t talked about the fight, and I don’t think we will. I don’t think I want to. It’s in the past.
We won our last game by twenty points. We’re back.
I asked Jason for copies of the game footage, and Ryan helped me edit it, add my contact information, and get the file ready. I saved it on a USB.
I handed it over to Coach Rogers.
“Here you go, Coach,” I said, handing it over. We were in his office after the practice. “I already uploaded it to the NCAA website.”
“Great.” He plugs it into his computer and waits for it to pull up. He double clicks as I go around his desk to watch it with him. I hope this is what Coach Blair and other schools are looking for. I glance at his face for a reaction. It’s weird to see myself on his computer screen. I never realized how focused I became during a game.
“Looks good, Jimmy. I think Mr. Blair will really like this. Maybe even another school or two.”
“Thank you,” I say, but I don’t walk out. Things still feel a little awkward with him, but I decide to ask him what’s on my mind anyway. “Coach, do you think I have a chance? Do you think Mr. Blair is going to recruit me?”
Will I be playing college ball this time next year? Or not?
He gives a big sigh and sits down behind his desk. I can’t help but look at his computer. There’s a picture of the team and him, from last year’s championship.
I see myself in the last row, right next to him. I have a goofy smile on my face, even though the rest of the team is serious from just having lost to the Westview Eagles. I had been just as devastated but also pretty excited. It had been one of my best games ever.
I look back at the coach, and he’s staring at me. His mouth is pursed. He finally opens his mouth. “I think you have a good chance.” He puts his hands together in front of him, clasping them. “Keep working hard, and you might have a good chance in the spring now that the fall signing period is over. You might not. That’s just the reality of it. You need to be ready for that. The odds are against you, son.”
I nod. I hadn’t expected that last part. What will I do with my life if I’m not offered a position on a college team?
I thank the coach and step out. Just one more thing I have to figure out before graduation.
Five
Mayra’s head rests against my arm. I make myself blink my eyes open. It’s dark out. And cold. Mayra's arm is draped across my chest. So is one of her legs. We’re sprawled out on her bed. Her head is turned to the side, facing me while her body hugs me. All I can see is the tip of her nose. I feel the skin of her legs against mine. For a few seconds, all I do is listen to the sound of her breath. It’s relaxing.
I’m drifting off to sleep again when I jerk awake.
What time is it? I grab my phone from her nightstand and check. Past midnight. Almost one in the morning. Her mom will be home soon. I’ve been here over an hour. I need to get home.
I just had to see her, though. I hadn’t seen her in days. Only texted and called. School and work was really getting to her, and my days were filled with basketball and school.
I hadn’t done this in a while. Come over and
lay down with her. We had been caught once, when we first started going out. It hadn’t been pretty. I didn’t sneak over any more for a year. Then we started doing it again. Meeting up when her mom was at work and my parents were asleep.
I don’t need to get caught again, though. I slowly shift to the right, towards the edge of the bed, carefully slipping out my arm and body from underneath Mayra’s.
She must be in a deep sleep because she doesn’t stir at all. I smile and give her a kiss on the lips. I wish I could stay here all night. And my mind starts wandering. Wondering what it would be like to spend every day with her. Taking care of her. Loving her.
I sit up and pull on my shoes. I check my phone again and head outside. The cold December air makes Mayra’s warmth leave my body.
In a few minutes, I’m heading up my driveway. I head to my bedroom window. I’d left it open a crack. I slip my fingers in the crack and push it up, careful not to make too much noise. I put one leg in, then the other. Then my torso and head. My eyes want to give in to sleep. I make it to my bed and collapse, hugging my pillow, wishing it were Mayra.
I scroll down UGA’s men’s basketball page.
“You thinking of going there, then?” Ryan asks.
“I have no idea,” I reply, not looking up. “It just depends, I guess. If they make me a scholarship offer.”
Ryan nods. “They’re a decent school when it comes to basketball. And you’d be with your sister.”
Now it’s my turn to nod. “I think I’d actually like that. I can check up on her, make sure she’s doing okay. It won’t be lonely, like it is for her now.”
“Except you’d be away from Mayra.”
I bite the inside of my mouth. There’s that.
I already looked at the tuition for UGA, and it’s not cheap. I won’t be able to go there unless I get an offer that includes a scholarship. And I had looked something else up. College players don’t really get paid.
So how I expected Mayra to just pick up and leave with me, I couldn’t say. She works her ass off just to pay her tuition and books here. And it’s a third of the price. Even with the HOPE scholarship, I just don’t think she could afford it.
I look at the pictures of the current team. I wonder how they do it. I guess they just put their all into their game and nothing else.
I close the window and stand up.
“Let’s go play some one-on-one.”
“I missed you,” Mayra says, giving me a kiss. I hug her, bringing her close, letting her know how much I’ve missed her back. The last few weeks have been intense. She just finished her final exams last week, and now I’m off on winter break.
“When’s your next game?” she asks. We’re on her bed, and she’s on Twitter. I’m watching the Atlanta Hawks play on her TV. “I can’t believe I haven’t been able to go to any of them lately.” She had missed the last two games of the year.
“Don't worry about it. We won, and that’s all that matters,” I say with a smile.
“You’re right. Me showing up to support you? Eh. Whatever.” She looks up at me.
“I’m kidding. You’d better go to my next game. I have to have someone cheering me on.” I squeeze her.
She rolls her eyes. “Like the fifteen cheerleaders swooning at you after every game?”
“What cheerleaders?” I ask, not blinking but with a smile creeping onto my face.
“Good answer,” she says, leaning in for another kiss. A minute later, she says, “Keep up those victories, and soon enough, you’ll be gone, playing for who-knows-what university. Or NBA team.”
She’s staring at the TV screen in front of us. At the basketball players running across the court.
“I hope so,” I say, but I see her face fall for a second. “You know what I mean. If that does end up happening, it doesn’t mean we’re going to break up or forget about each other. Besides, I think I have a real chance at UGA, and it’s only an hour and a half away.”
She nods but stays quiet.
“We can make it work, right?” I ask. I’m not sure if I’m asking her or myself.
She shrugs. “Aren’t you going to be traveling all the time, though?”
“During the basketball season, yeah.” Which is like half the year.
“I was thinking about transferring, but I don’t know. I’m just not sure I can afford it. I’d have to find another job, and I feel like it would be the same thing. Not getting to see you. Might as well stay here, you know? Not that the nursing program isn’t great in Athens, but the one here I can pay for.”
I nod. “And I’ll come see you any chance I get. Or you could drive up and see me.”
I’m sensing a lot more doubt in her about everything now than at the beginning of the school year. But I can’t blame her. I’m asking her to do a lot for me. Put up with not seeing me a lot. Same thing Ariana asked of Lucas, and he said no. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to Ariana. And it’s not fair to Mayra. Especially if someone else comes along who can give her more.
I don’t say anything else after that. I just hold her and think. After a few minutes, I realize we still have time, like my parents say all the time. We need to enjoy each other now, and hopefully, everything falls into place when the time comes. That’s assuming I get recruited in the spring. It’s a big if, but for me, it’s not a question of if. I have to make it happen.
“Have you heard back from the scout?” Mayra asks, breaking the silence.
“Not yet,” I say. It had been a few weeks, but the coach said all of this took a while. I’m trying not to think about it too much and make myself go crazy. But that reminds me.
“I need to start applying to a few colleges,” I say as I sit up. “Including the one here, as a back up plan.”
“That would be nice,” Mayra says. I don’t respond. “For me, anyways. It’d suck for you.” At least she’s smiling again. I kiss her on the head.
“It wouldn’t be too bad if it meant seeing you every day at school. And if I don’t end up getting recruited, that’s exactly what I’ll do. I promise. I just—this is my dream, you know?”
She looks up at me. “I know. I get it.”
I go on. “Now’s the time for me to see what my life is going to become. I have to at least try, even if they laugh in my face. If I don’t try, I’ll always wonder, and I’ll hate myself for it.”
Mayra reaches up and kisses me intensely. “I won’t ever stop you from reaching for your dreams.”
“And I won’t fail you,” I say. “I love you.”
She doesn’t say it back. Instead, she shows me. This time, she uses both her hands to pull my head to her mouth. She doesn’t let go.
I can’t feel my face anymore, but I don’t want to go back inside. I should have put on a thicker hoodie. I’m way too freakin’ excited. The first snow of the season started falling this morning, a few hours ago. It isn’t deep yet, but according to the forecasts, it’s not stopping soon. I can’t wait to get in a few good snowball fights with Ryan, Mayra, and Ariana. It’s been years since it snowed like this, more than a sprinkle. I think it’s a good sign.
Ariana is coming home. I can’t wait. I haven’t seen my sister in months. Not since she left in August. I know a bunch of people from school who’d probably give their left leg to get rid of their siblings for that long, but not me. It’s always been the two of us, and we’re only two years apart. Not having her around just feels plain wrong. Maybe it’s what twins feel like when they’re separated.
I can feel her getting closer, and I start jumping up and down like when Mayra has to go to the bathroom real bad. I see my breath form in front of me and look around at the whiteness surrounding me, but my eyes go back to the road, to the curve near Mayra’s house.
Ariana’s car will be coming around there any minute. I know it.
She left her dorm two and a half hours ago. Normally, she would have been here like an hour ago, but I know she’s driving extra slow because
of the weather. I glance back towards the house.
I’m also hungry, and my mom’s busy in there, finishing up lunch for us. Ariana’s favorite: enchiladas potosinas. My mouth waters just thinking about it.
I check my phone. I invited Ryan over, but he still hasn’t replied. Maybe we’ll play some video games later or watch a movie with the girls.
Mayra is finishing up her shift. Everything in town is closing up for the day, so she’ll be home early. I can’t wait for all of us to be together again, like old times. Mayra and Ariana aren’t particularly close to Ryan, like I am, but we’ve all hung out and joked around before.
There she is. Her car pulls around the curve pretty slow, and her wipers are on, pushing away the snowflakes on her windshield. Before she’s even in the driveway, I’m already there, ready for when she gets out. I feel like I’m in a dream. This is it.
She turns off the car, and I finally see the car door open. I get a quick look at her face, and before either of us knows it, I’m carrying her towards the house, yelling like no one’s business.
I run up the porch stairs, and she’s half laughing, half yelling with me. I slip on some ice on the stairs, and we both cry out in fear for a split second before I catch myself and her and keep going.
“Jimmy!” she screams in a high-pitched voice. But the next second, she’s laughing again.
I open the front door with my free hand and barge in with her.
“Guess who’s home?” I say. I walk her over to the kitchen and dining table, where my parents are sitting. My dad gets up from the table. He’s doing the usual: shaking his head but smiling. My mom walks towards us.
“La vas a dejar caer,” she says, her hands at her face.
But I finally put Ariana down safely.
“He slipped on the ice on the stairs,” is the first thing that comes out of her mouth. She’s pulling down her shirt and jacket.
“But we didn’t fall,” I emphasize. I have a huge smile on my face. It’s like I’m finally me again. I love Mayra, but there’s only one person who can complete that last 5% of me.
All In (Changing Hearts Book 2) Page 6
