by Amy Marie
“Thank you,” I say bringing her back into an embrace.
“That’s hot ladies, you should make out!” Some young kid from the nearby high school says from behind us. Noelle lets me go and spins around.
“Oh, yea, little boy? Are we giving you a stiffy? I bet you can’t wait to get home and pull out old Rosey Palm and give that small dick a few tugs since that’s all the action you will probably ever get. Get a life loser.”
His friends shove him through the revolving door making fun of him more and we head to our cars and say goodbye, making plans to have dinner together tonight.
Alone in my car I start to think about how things are going to be. In just under two months, I will be back at school teaching. Who would have thought from the last day of school to the upcoming first day of the new year, how much my life would change? I knew that this summer was going to be different from the moment I walked into Robert’s room that day, but I would have never thought this. Thinking back, I wonder if I had the chance to do it over, would I not sleep with Walker. The answer is quick. No. I would still do it. It was the most amazing night of my life. I only regret not having a way to get a hold of him, which I knew would happen the moment I left his hotel room. I don’t know if he is the type of guy I want to spend my life with but I’m sad that he won’t know he has a child out there and that our baby won’t benefit from his presence.
My body is on fire. His hands reach down between my legs, and I can’t help but scream out in ecstasy. “Walker!”
“I’m here, baby. Give in. Give it all to me.” His growl resonates through the room.
I’m almost there. My body craving the release his hands are holding back, torturing me. “Please, Walker, let me come,” I say hoping he will comply.
“What do you want? Faster, sweet thing? You like it fast? And hard?” He asks, his hands moving at a rapid pace bringing me to the brink before he slows down, causing a frustrated groan to escape my lips.
“Walker, NOW!” I yell.
His fingers glide in and out of me. I’m there. Just a few more times and the release I am longing for will be mine. My body is glistening with sweat, bowing off the bed, pushing further onto his hand. Waves of ecstasy wash over me from my toes to my fingertips as I try to ride the orgasm out, but it’s out of reach. My body screaming, I search for Walker, except he is no longer there. I move my body in sync with the penetration I was just feeling but it’s gone. “No!” I say aloud to the darkened room. “No!”
The bright sun awakens me from my dream. This is the sixth one this summer. Every time I wake up in a sweat, I heatedly reach for the vibrator. My pregnancy hormones are out of control and these dreams aren’t helping. I want sex, and I want it now. My body craves it. But not just the act. It wants Walker, and I can’t fulfill its needs. He is gone, and my body will never feel his touch again.
Flipping the switch to “on” I replay my dream getting release that is only half fulfilling.
~~
The week before school starts is always my favorite. The hallways buzz with teachers excited to start the new year and getting rooms ready for the young minds we will start molding the next week. I haven’t really spoken to any of my coworkers since the end of last year, except a few lunch dates here and there with Rosie. After filling her in on all the craziness my summer brought, she offered to help with the baby anytime I need it now that she has a lot of time on her hands. I told her that I wouldn’t want to put that on her, but I would be more than happy to bring the little one over. Looking at her empty room makes me sad that I won’t have my mentor just across the way.
Principal Callow has us all meeting in the gymnasium for a welcome back lunch on Wednesday, our first day back. This is something the staff hates but I find myself absolutely starved and ready to take an hour of torturous reminders of rules and ethics just to get my hands on a sandwich or three. I unconsciously place my hand on my stomach while walking in a herd with the rest of the faculty and into the gym. The sweet smell of coffee causes me to grimace, wishing I could still drink it. The doctor told me one cup a day was okay, but why tease myself? And decaf is definitely out of the question.
Shoes scuffle on the newly finished floor making me curiously look down and check it out. The feedback from the microphone pulls me from the lame thought of how beautiful it looks and the Principal taps on the end of it. I find a seat in the second row close to the tables of food.
“Welcome back, staff. I hope you all had a wonderful summer and are as excited about the new year as I am. We have a lot of changes coming our way here at Hudson and I want to start with our two fresh faces.” One of the seventh grade English teachers Emma James sits down next to me commenting on how much she cannot stand these little “parties.” Saying she is beautiful is an understatement. Her long curly auburn hair is laying halfway down her back and I’m instantly jealous. Even though she has next to no makeup on she is utterly flawless. Her green eyes smile my way and I am distracted by how they are the shade of a perfectly manicured lawn.
“Holy shit! Good thing you have Robert because I’m calling dibs on that right there.” I watch as her pools of green become lust filled at what lies in front of them.
Ignoring her Robert comment I follow her line of vision to her object of desire. I land on Callow, who is still speaking loudly into the microphone. “This is our new sixth grade math teacher, who will be mentored by Ms. Decker. Let’s welcome Walker Prescott, newly graduated out of Southern Illinois University.”
Walker.
My mind races. How many men have that name? It can’t be him. Panic seizes me, and I can’t focus. When I finally lay my eyes on the man who was just introduced, he is zeroed in on me, his green eyes burning into my skin as his smile spreads so wide I think his face might split in two.
“Erin, would you come up here and introduce yourself to Mr. Prescott?” Principle Callow motions to me.
Emma huffs next to me shoving her shoulder into mine. “Lucky bitch! I guess I’ll be on your side of the school more often.”
I drag in a deep breath and hope my legs don’t give out on me as I stand up, about to face the father of my unborn child. His eyes never leave mine, and as I slowly walk toward the stage, they widen when he realizes that I’m going to be his first year mentor. Terror at the thought of speaking to him consumes me and I drag my gaze down to the floor. The steps seem steeper and higher, my legs struggle to climb them. When I am finally within arm’s length I raise my chin, sticking my hand out to shake his. His hand covers mine, and the electricity between them is profound. I can’t help but remember how those hands felt elsewhere.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Prescott,” I say, stomach rising to my throat. Please don’t throw up on him. “Welcome to the team.”
“Thank you...what is it again? Sally?” A knowing smirk greets me, and I now know for sure, he remembers.
“Uhm, it’s Erin actually. Erin Decker,” I say, my words barely a whisper.
“Well, it's nice to finally have a face to a name.” His words roll like silk off of his tongue.
I force a smile and walk back to my seat. The introductions and meeting continue, and I feel his gaze lingering on me. As soon as we are dismissed my mortification takes precedence over my hunger, and I bolt for the exit.
My room is still very much empty, but that is the least of my worries. I need to get out of here and fast. I had come to grips with the fact that I would never find him, and that my child would grow up without a father, but now...now, he is right in front of me, and I just want to run. Grabbing my belongings, I head to the bathroom since my bladder can’t contain itself any longer. Washing and drying my hands, I use a paper towel to open the door and am met with a face worth a thousand melted panties. His tongue brushes over his lips, mine doing the same.
He takes a step forward forcing me to retreat back into the bathroom. One more step and we are behind the privacy of the door, and my back is against the wall. Both of his hands rise up to my cheeks as
he plants them on either side of my head and that earth shattering tongue glides over his plump mouth again. As he inches his way closer and closer my eyes slam shut and my lips part waiting for his mouth to be on me, for all of those hormone induced dreams to become reality.
Heated breath hits my right ear. “Oh, Sally. I’ve thought so much about you since our night together. The way you felt on top of me. I’ve never come so hard in my life. Then you leave me with no way to find you. Until today, Sally. Until today when I saw you walk into the gym. Beautiful and glowing. This job is going to bring you and I closer and I hope we can get to know each other deeper. Tell me...Sally, can we get any deeper?” His teeth nip my ear causing a familiar ache between my thighs. His hold drops and before I can open my eyes, he is out the door. Anger surges through me at how quickly he had me almost bent over the sink.
Throwing the door open I shout to his retreating back, halfway down the hallway to the gym. “IT’S ERIN!”
“I know,” he yells, waving a hand without looking back and still continuing to walk away. Mustering up the strength not to run from him, I stomp towards the gym.
The door hits the wall when I throw it open, and I immediately scan the crowd to find Walker next to Emma with her wandering hands. Jealously carries my legs to them.
“Erin, I was wondering where you went. I was just telling Walker here how available I am.” Her arms rub up and down his forearm. “Maybe we could double date, huh? Walker and me, you and Robert. It would be fun!”
“Robert? Well, that sounds adventurous,” he says mocking me. Walker’s tone tells both Emma and me that the idea doesn’t suit him. “Don’t you think Sal...I mean Erin? A night out with you and your boyfriend wouldn’t be unadventurous at all.”
I look him directly in the eyes. “I've been known to be very adventurous,” I retort, running my tongue along my lips and biting the lower one.
“I don’t doubt that, at all,” he says pushing Emma’s hands off his arms, looking straight at me. “I’m sorry, Emma. I am seeing someone at the moment.”
True to Emma’s form, she lets out an audible huff and leaves me alone with my child’s father. Shit.
His words suddenly sinking in that he is dating someone. How am I going to tell the man, who only shared one night with me that he is going to be a dad? I’m not sure how his girlfriend will handle Walker having a child with someone else but thinking about another woman in my little bean’s life scares me. There is no way I can tell him right now. I know I have to tell him, but I have to figure out how to do that. Blurting out that he knocked me up won’t go very well, even though he seems like he can be pretty blunt.
Realizing I’ve zoned out I find him standing there, sexy hair and all, staring at my hands which have subconsciously made their way to my stomach.
“You feeling okay, baby? Maybe remembering how I felt inside you? I can make that happen again.” His voice oozes seduction, and though the question pisses me off, the clothes he is wearing are now my focal point. It’s nothing close to the sexed up God look from that night. It’s even better.
The dark forest green polo shirt is slim on his torso and showcases the pecs I used for support as I rode him almost three long lonely months ago. The ironed khaki pants are tight and hiding the beast that almost split me in two. My pulse quickens at the thought. Raising my eyes up to his one dimpled smirk and swallowing the lump in my throat, I know he has caught me. “Like what you see?”
“You are so egotistical, you know that? And didn’t you say you were seeing someone, Walker? Don’t make those kinds of comments to me and then go home to someone else,” I say in a hushed tone, finally breaking my silence.
“I don’t think she would mind, Erin. In fact, it's you that I'm seeing. You’re all I see. All I’ve seen for months now. I can’t get you out of this goddamn head of mine.” He taps the side of his temple to make his point. “Every time I close my eyes I see your beautiful brown eyes hovering above me, using me for pleasure.”
I can’t breathe and my mind is processing thoughts faster than I can comprehend them. My brain and my mouth aren’t in sync and the time I needed to think is apparently over because I blurt out, “I’m pregnant.”
His eyes bore into mine searching for the truth to my words and trying to take in the bomb I just dropped. “You’re...”
“Mr. Prescott?” Principal Callow interrupts before this earth shattering dialogue continues.
“I apologize about interrupting your conversation with Ms. Decker but I’d like to introduce you to the Superintendant.” Once Walker reluctantly allows himself to be dragged away, I fall into the chair next to me, watching as he walks away. Right before reaching the Super he turns, anger in his eyes. My body can’t move fast as I stand up to run out of the gym. Keeping the tears at bay, I make it to my car in record time.
In the comfort of the front seat, I let them fall freely, not caring about holding them in anymore. “FUCK!” I scream louder than I ever thought possible. Pain shoots through my right hand as I hit the steering wheel repeatedly.
“FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” I say, each time slamming my palms down.
How could I tell him like that? I should have waited a little longer. Sat him down. Told him I had some news. Not blurt it out like a moron in the middle of the gym for Christ’s sake!
I start the car and put it in reverse gliding out of the parking spot. A loud bang on the roof shakes me to the core. “ERIN!” Walker’s muffled yell hits my ears.
Not looking at him I put the car in drive and leave him standing there. Blindly searching in my bag, I find my phone and attempt to call Noelle.
A honking horn blares, and I slam on the brakes just in time to stop at a stop sign. The angry driver passes through the intersection shaking his fist at me. I can’t hear him, but I’m sure he is yelling obscenities and giving me the middle finger.
I inwardly scold myself. I need to keep this baby in mind at all times. No more stupid moves. Looking behind me, I make sure no one is there, and I pull up Noelle’s number just in time for a text to pop up.
Unknown: We need to talk.
Me: Who is this?
Unknown: Mr. Prescott. Meet me. Tonight.
Mr. Prescott? So formal now and pushy. Jeez. I can’t meet him alone. If he touches me I probably will not be able to make him stop. Or want him to. We need witnesses. Quickly I save his number and change his name in my phone. Something I should have done months ago.
Me: Not tonight but we can meet at the school in the morning to set up our rooms. We can talk then.
Walker: 8am. No later.
Another honk from behind prevents me from texting him back. I drop my phone into the passenger seat and finish the short drive home.
That night nerves consume me. I realize tomorrow is “make it or break it” time. Not knowing if Walker will accept the fact that I am having his child has my stomach in knots. I hope he can at least agree to be there for the baby. I want nothing else from him. As much as I would have loved to be married and in love with my child’s father, that might not happen. I just don’t think I could ever trust another man so easily. Robert ruined that for me, made me gun shy, and I still hate him for it.
According to my reflection, I look like crap. My half assed makeup job does nothing for my bloodshot eyes or the dark circles beneath them. The three restless hours of sleep seem like zero, and I would give my left leg for a cup of coffee...or three.
Noelle never came home last night, and she wasn’t answering my texts. Normally, her long hours don’t bother me, but I needed to talk all this through with her. Get some clarity. So, I did the next best thing; I called my mom. After giving her all the details of the day’s events, she went silent. I thought maybe the line cut out. It’s happened before in the middle of my rants and then all the sudden it’s ringing right next to my ear.
She finally spoke but with so much excitement that I had to try to calm her down. She said this was my chance and was spouting out her “everything
happens for a reason” bologna. When I reiterated that he looked angry after my confession, she toned it down a bit, got her head on straight, and started to think clearly and give some better advice. Her attempts to calm me down were working until she said something that completely freaked me out.
“It is your responsibility to give him the option to be there for his child. It’s his choice whether he wants to be,” she said just before hanging up, providing the reason for my insomnia.
So, I tossed and turned and waited for Noelle to get home and maybe put my mind at ease. I never texted why I wanted to talk to her so she didn’t know how dire the situation was. She finally replied at midnight saying she was out “with a friend.” Which means she was getting some action...I was more jealous than disappointed. I had a steady boyfriend for so long that the most we had gone without making love was a week, maybe ten days. Then I got a taste of Walker, leaving me desperate for MONTHS without it. I’m going to have to buy a new vibrator soon.
I throw some concealer over the bags under my eyes and settle for the zombie look. I want to have the upper hand and be prepared for when Walker arrives, so I leave at 7:30.
When I finally get to my classroom, I am far from ready. My hearts stops when I find him sitting at my desk leaning back with his hands casually behind his head, eyes closed, leaving me the shameless opportunity to check him out. His hair is disheveled and looks like it did after our one intense night. The day old stubble has my hormones running wild, and I can’t help thinking of how it would feel on the soft skin of my thighs. His biceps strain against the short sleeves of his white polo shirt. Both legs are up on my desk covered in dark distressed jeans with tan construction boots. My eyes make their way back up and embarrassingly meet his now open ones.
