No Going Back (Club Aegis Book 6)

by Christie Adams

  “Is that another reason why none of us have ever seen you here?”

  “Partly. I wanted to respect your privacy, and there’s also the fact that I haven’t been involved actively for a long time—on a regular basis, anyway.”

  “Then why buy the club?”

  “I’d heard the owners were looking to sell or close it down. I then heard rumours about potential buyers, and what they’d like to do to the place. I couldn’t let that happen. Aegis has something most other clubs don’t have, and I wanted to keep that going.”

  “And you never said anything because of your work.”

  “As I said—a civil servant owning what some would class as a sex club would attract more than a few raised eyebrows.”

  “You were never a civil servant, Guy.”

  At least Ros was smiling now. “The job was going that way—that’s partly why I decided to get out. Alex’s offer to join Spectrum was too good to refuse. Do you mind that we’ll be working together again? I could always go for a dignified retirement, if you have a problem with it.”

  “Oh, Guy.” Ros closed her eyes for a moment. “After all these years, you have to ask that?”

  “I let you down, the one thing I swore to Meg and Oliver I’d never do.”

  “You’ve never let me down—never. And if my parents were here, I know they’d say the same.” Her shoulders lifted on a sigh. “You were in an impossible situation. I wouldn’t have handled it any better, and I don’t think anyone else would, either. And a dignified retirement? You? It’ll never happen. I’d hate it if it did.”

  “That makes me feel better. So—are we good?”

  At last she gave him a normal, relaxed smile. “We’re good.”

  >>><<<

  By the time Guy was letting himself into his pied-à-terre after a successful evening at Aegis, there was about an hour to go until dawn. The evening had been successful beyond his wildest dreams. Time had flown by, and he’d ended up staying until the club closed.

  He was glad he had. His ownership of the club had been accepted without question, which reassured those members who’d been worried about the future of Aegis. He’d also got a better handle on how his idea of branching out of the capital might be received. So far, the reaction had been more than favourable.

  Thoughts of relocating reminded him that he needed to think about putting this apartment up for sale soon, now that he had no real need of it. Too keyed up to sleep, he stood at the window, looking down at the road, where signs of pre-dawn activity were robbing the world of its peace once more.

  In the past, Guy had never been one for introspection, but of late he’d been doing it more often, and it now involved Maddie. Halfway through a measure of Dalmore, he found himself wondering about how she’d spent her evening. At this time of the morning she should be sound asleep. She should also have been with him.

  Now that was an idea. Before he let the apartment go, he could bring her to London for a weekend. Dinner and the theatre—she’d like that, from what he’d learned about her already, and maybe they’d do something frivolous, like taking a trip on one of the sightseeing bus tours.

  He chuckled. Was he getting soft in his old age, acting like a tourist with his woman? Before he could decide, the vibrating in his pocket told him someone was calling him. The chuckle became a worried frown. Who could be calling him at this time of the morning, and why? He pulled out his phone just as the vibration stopped, but the display told him all he needed to know. He called the number back.

  “Maddie? Are you all right?”

  “Guy, I’m sorry. Did I wake you? I wasn’t expecting your phone to ring—I thought you’d be asleep, and it’d be switched off.”

  Curiouser and curiouser. “It’s all right, I was awake. I spent the evening with friends, and things went on a little longer than I anticipated, but what on earth are you doing awake? Are you all right?”

  “I couldn’t sleep. I…” She sighed. “It was such a silly idea. I thought your phone would be off, and I was going to leave a message for you to find in the morning.”

  “That’s not a silly idea.” Not when it gave him the kind of warm feeling that had been absent from his life for too long. He made himself comfortable in one of the leather armchairs. “What were you going to say?”

  A short, nervous laugh came through the phone. “Nothing much, just a good morning… and to let you know I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too.”

  The truth in those words brought an unusual ache to his chest. He had missed her. She’d been putting in long hours at work this week, so he’d taken a step back, limiting their contact to the odd text. While Guy had been absorbed in getting to grips with his new job, that hadn’t claimed all his attention. In the quiet moments, his thoughts had gravitated to Maddie, and what might happen next with their relationship. She’d burrowed her way into his heart, and he wasn’t ready to let her go.

  “You said you couldn’t sleep. Any particular reason?”

  “No. Yes.”

  That didn’t sound encouraging. He experienced a sudden, urgent need for clarification. “Talk to me, Maddie. What’s bothering you?”

  Silence at the other end of the line threatened to send his heart rate into overdrive. Maybe she’d respond to his Dom voice. “Madeleine. Tell me.”

  “When you asked me to go home with you, to meet your family that way… I wasn’t expecting it, and I panicked.”

  Was that all? “It’s okay, don’t worry. I did spring it on you.”

  “It’s not that, Guy—I’ve been thinking. Ros’ wedding is too important to risk messing it up. At this late stage I can’t—won’t—hand it off to someone else, so that only leaves one option. I don’t think we should continue seeing each other.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  As soon as he was sure he was legally sober, Guy was on the road to Remington Grange. Barely keeping within the speed limit, he tried to work out where he’d gone so disastrously wrong. At the same time, he also tried to figure out the logic behind Maddie’s incomprehensible decision. What the hell kind of connection had she made, where her relationship with him couldn’t coexist alongside her business relationship with Ros?

  One thing was for sure—he now knew the extent to which Maddie mattered to him. In an astoundingly short time, she’d come to mean far more to him than he would have imagined possible. He wasn’t about to give her up without a damn good fight. If he thought for one moment she truly wanted to end their relationship, he’d accept her decision with grace. He wouldn’t like it, but he’d accept it. However, the reluctance in her voice conveyed an entirely different message.

  The car park was crowded when he arrived at the hotel. Judging by the finery of the people milling around, he’d arrived in the middle of a wedding. The irony of the situation didn’t escape him—a wedding was the very reason for his critical mission to save his relationship.

  Hell and damnation. There she was, and it appeared she was at work. Attired in the suit she’d been wearing when they’d first met, she was moving among the guests with understated efficiency and a tray of canapés. A waitress now? Guy bristled on her behalf. Totally shameless, he swiped a glass of champagne from a passing waiter as if he were a legitimate guest, and made a beeline for his target.

  “Please tell me waitressing isn’t standard operating procedure for an events manager.” He kept his voice low enough for only Maddie to hear as he drew alongside her.

  “Please, Guy, not now. I’m working.”

  “As a waitress?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with waitressing. For your information, even though I don’t owe you any kind of explanation, I’m covering for a member of staff with childcare issues. His mother’s been taken ill and can’t look after his daughter. Happy now?”

  Not in the least, but it had nothing to do with what she was doing. He could only admire her for the way she’d stepped into the breach, but they still had a far larger issue to deal with. “When do you finish
?”

  “As soon as Mark gets here, or when his shift is due to finish, whichever comes first.”

  “Miss Scott!”

  Guy pivoted to see a young man hurrying in their direction. He had the harried look of a parent with a problem.

  “Mark.” Maddie stepped around Guy. “Is everything all right? We weren’t expecting you in so soon.”

  “My sister came up trumps. I’m so sorry.” He took the tray from Maddie.

  “These things happen—don’t worry. And Mark? I’ll make sure you get paid from the start of your shift, okay?”

  The waiter turned to her, eyes wide. “Miss Scott? Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure. You clocked on?”

  “Just now.”

  “Then I’ll go straight to my office and email HR now to tell them to credit you from 7 a.m. Now go and do your job.”

  With a nod of acknowledgement and a grateful smile, he hurried away.

  “That was good of you.”

  “He’s a young single parent who works hard to support his child. He can’t afford to lose the money. I suppose you want to talk about our conversation?”

  Guy closed a proprietorial hand around her elbow. “You could say that. Shall we go to your quarters?”

  “Looks like I don’t have much choice,” she muttered, but went with him anyway.

  Once they reached her rooms, Maddie removed her jacket. Without thinking, Guy took it from her and put it on the hanger.

  “So, were you planning to dump me by voicemail?”

  The thought had occurred to him as he’d turned into the approach road to the hotel, leaving him even more pissed off and worried.

  “How dare you? Of course not! That’s the coward’s way out. I would have waited, but the opportunity presented itself, so I had to take it.”

  “Don’t you think you owe me an explanation? Please—by what convoluted reasoning did you reach the conclusion that we should stop seeing one another? And don’t cite Ros’ wedding arrangements, because that’s a load of crap and we both know it.”

  Maddie gave him an assessing look, as if she were trying to make up her mind about something, and huffed out a sigh. “Would you like some coffee? I think we could both probably use some.”

  A shot of caffeine wouldn’t come amiss, and if he was honest, the offer took some of the wind out of his sails. “Thank you.”

  “Make yourself comfortable, and I’ll see to it.”

  Guy took a seat on the sofa. If this really was the end of them as a couple, he wanted Maddie beside him while they had the conversation. When she returned with the mugs and set them down on the coffee table, he caught hold of her hand. One glance at the seat beside him, and he achieved his objective. Her obedience gave him a grim satisfaction.

  “Talk to me, Maddie.”

  She shook her head “What do you want me to say?”

  “I want you to be honest with me. Do you really want to end things between us?”

  Indecision was written all over her face, a truth she couldn’t deny. She was torn, and it showed.

  It also gave him hope.

  “I shouldn’t have let it start in the first place.”

  Okay—not the response he was expecting, but he could work with it. “Why not?”

  Her fingers twisted in nervous knots. “There are complications… I can’t explain.”

  “Are you married? Separated? Already in a relationship?” His stomach solidified into a rock. A pre-existing partner was something he’d never factored into the equation.

  Her denial was instant. “No. I’ve never been married, and the only relationship I have is this one.”

  At least she hadn’t put them in the past tense. “Then what?”

  “I can’t tell you.”

  “So the complications are real.”

  She closed her eyes, lips pressed tightly together. “I walked into that one. I must be getting old.”

  Now that was a slightly odd response. Guy frowned. “Meaning?”

  “Meaning nothing. Yes, the complications are real. No, I can’t tell you, and the reason why I can’t tell you is the reason why I can’t see you.”

  Guy assessed what he’d been told. “You still haven’t answered my question. Do you want to end our relationship?”

  Her chin dropped to her chest. “It’s not a case of wanting to, it’s a case of having to.”

  “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want—you’re a grown woman, it’s allowed.”

  She shot to her feet and put an unacceptable amount of distance between them. “Even if it hurts… someone else?”

  Another telling hesitation. “You mean me? I’m a big boy, Maddie. Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

  “Men! You always think you can handle everything.” She spun around, fury vibrating from her. “Well, I have a newsflash for you—you can’t handle this! You shouldn’t have to handle this!”

  Guy’s sixth sense for trouble went on high alert. Something serious was going on. Maddie wasn’t overreacting to something trivial—he had a feeling that, if anything, her reaction to whatever it was erred towards understated, and that disturbed him even more. Whatever it was, he wanted Maddie to confide in him and share the burden, but right now, she was teetering on the edge of flight.

  And she was doing it to protect him.

  The revelation urged him to his feet to go to her. Though he wanted to take her in his arms, he needed her to be all right with it first. Instead, he settled for tilting her chin up so he could look into her eyes.

  The fear in them chilled him to the bone. She was afraid, but it wasn’t for herself—it was for him. “Tell me what’s going on, Maddie.”

  The conflict in her gaze tore through his heart. She wanted to, but something big stood in the way.

  “I can’t. That’s why it’s best if we—”

  “No.” He kept his voice quiet but firm. “Don’t presume to know what’s best for us without discussing it with me first. And never presume to know what’s best for me. I don’t believe you want us to finish. I certainly don’t, and I’m going nowhere. I’ll be here when you’re ready to tell me what’s going on. I’m your safe place, Maddie, and whatever’s got you so spooked, we can face it together.”

  She managed a half-smile and took a step closer to him. It was all the permission he needed to enfold her in his arms and draw her into the shelter of his body.

  “I don’t want you to be hurt because of me.”

  “And I won’t be. I’m bomb-proof, remember? You know what I do for a living.”

  Which reminded him of something a little odd—her reaction when he’d shared that information about himself. Far from coming out with the usual comments about a certain cinematic super spy, she’d simply taken it all in her stride.

  “I know,” she admitted with a reluctant whisper. “I still don’t want you to get hurt.”

  He tightened his arms around her. “I’ll be fine. Listen, if you’re not ready to tell me everything now, at least tell me you still want to see me. In case I didn’t make it clear enough, I sure as hell want to carry on seeing you.”

  Her arms encircled his waist. “I still want to see you. I still want you.” She laid her head against his shoulder. “Heaven help me, I still want you.”

  Even though the feeling was mutual, yet again the spectre of running a check on her came back to haunt him. This time, though, Guy wasn’t sure he’d be able to vanquish it. Her actions and her choice of words had triggered too many alarm bells.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The study door was closed—not a good sign. For a moment, Guy debated whether he should leave well alone. Then he remembered how harried Ros had looked at breakfast and knocked, pausing a moment before pushing the door open.

  Seated at the desk, her head in her hands, Ros was surrounded by leaflets and brochures. Her laptop, the screen displaying a swirling screensaver, sat to one side, and her mobile phone appeared to be charging.

  “Sim
on doesn’t know it yet, but we’re eloping.”

  The gritty statement was made through clenched teeth. Guy sympathised, but he wasn’t about to let her get away with taking the easy way out. His eye was caught by one leaflet in particular. “Hey, you’re not going to let a few ribbons and table decorations deprive me of the privilege of giving you away, are you?”

  Ros slumped even further, resting her chin on arms folded on top of the desk. If her stubborn pout belonged to the teenager who’d moved in a lifetime ago, her mournful gaze reminded him of the Tregowans’ springer spaniel. That dog certainly knew how to wheedle extra treats out of her humans.

  “Tempted though I am, it wouldn’t be the same without you,” she admitted with a soft smile. “Or Heather and Rob, and everyone else on the guest list.”

  “And you know what they want most? It’s not some flashy society event where everything’s perfect—it’s to see you and Simon start your lives together.”

  The change in her expression acknowledged the truth in his words. “So long as it’s perfect for Simon, that’s all that matters.”

  “And what do you suppose will make it perfect for Simon?”

  Ros gave him a satisfyingly blank look. At least he could now make a useful contribution. “I’m glad you asked,” he continued with a grin. “Speaking as a mere man, the day will be perfect for Simon if, at the end of it, he’s your husband and you’re his wife. Your signatures on the marriage register—that’s all you need. That’s the big picture. Everything else is the frame. It doesn’t matter what the frame looks like, it’s the picture that’s important.”

  Guy planted himself on the corner of the desk. What he was about to suggest would no doubt give rise to an explosion of curiosity and a possible multitude of questions. Sometimes, though, sacrifices had to be made, and it looked like his privacy was going on the altar.

  “You know I’ll do whatever I can to help with the wedding. However, you know as well as I do, I’ll be as much use as a chocolate teapot when it comes to, shall we say, the aesthetic side of things?”