Single Dad

by River Laurent

  Not many things in this wide, wide world can surprise me. I admit, the news that Weissman poached our technology stunned me this morning, but that’s probably naiveté on my part. This is a cutthroat business and he is known in the business for questionable ethics. But this? If she set the soles of my shoes on fire right this minute, it wouldn’t surprise me more than what she just announced.

  “You’ve decided to let me spend a little time with Madison?” I repeat. I have to be sure I actually heard right. With the way things have gone today, I could be hearing things.

  She lifts one shoulder. “Yes, I thought it would be nice for her to spend the summer with you.”

  Whoa! Pigs do fly. I open my mouth in amazement. “The summer with me?”

  “Are you going to repeat everything I say?” she asks sarcastically.

  I feel anger boil up in my body. She really picked the wrong day to have this conversation with me. “What do you expect? For the last two years, you have behaved as if any time Madison spends with me could actually be detrimental to her mental and physical health.”

  “If you had been a better father…” She lets her voice trail off.

  “Fuck you, Regina. You know, I was the best father in the world to that little girl while we were together. We could’ve arranged joint custody, if you weren’t such a selfish bitch, but after dragging me through the court system for a solid year, fighting me tooth and nail and going for sole custody of our daughter, you now stroll in here and talk about handing her over to me for the summer?” I lean back and remember how bad it’d been. “Oh yeah, and what happened to I’m such a lousy father I’ll neglect my child and cause her to suffer mental abuse equivalent to solitary confinement?” I sneer.

  “Well…” She shrugs. “People change. It looks like you’ve matured now. I should give you a chance. Besides, she was very young then and she needed more supervision. She’s quite the grown-up now. You’ll be able to handle her no problem.”

  My eyes widen. “Jesus Christ, Regina. You’re passing her on to me because you’ve grown tired of her, haven’t you?” And that’s it. I can tell my assessment has hit a little too close to home by the way she lifts her chin defiantly.

  “Don’t be horrible,” she whines. “You know how much I love Madison.”

  What the hell did I ever see in this woman? “Actually, it doesn’t look like you love Madison very much from where I’m sitting. It looks like playing Mommy is no fun anymore now that you can’t use it to hurt me,” I observe.

  She sniffs and straightens her spine. “It doesn’t matter what it looks like to you. She needs her father, Lincoln. That’s the reality here.”

  I jump to my feet, palms on the desk, leaning across the surface to bridge some of the distance between us. Her expensive perfume wraps itself around my head in a cloud. “You can’t just walk into my office and demand I take our child when the court ruled in your favor two years ago. Have you even stopped to think how this will upend her life? She’s six years old, Regina. She needs structure and routine, not to be bounced around from you to me, and back to you again, just because you’re bored.”

  “Maybe she doesn’t have to come back to me, then,” she fires back.

  I rear back in shock. My jaw might even have dropped. I stare at her and she stares back. So this is what she really wants, and she wants it badly too. My poor little girl.

  She lifts her chin. “I’m going back to Europe tomorrow with the new man in my life. So, there’s little room for argument now. She’s all yours.”

  My head spins. What? Tomorrow? She’s dumping our daughter at my door and leaving the country tomorrow. There’s no more patience left in me. I used it up hours ago. “How dare you?” I shout, raising my voice with every word. “How can you expect me to drop everything like this, when I have no arrangements in place for her?”

  “That’s what nannies are for,” she reminds me in an icy tone. She opens her purse and takes out a pair of sunglasses.

  I watch in amazement as she slides them onto her face.

  Her full mouth purses in a studied pout. “Nobody’s asking you to give up your life, Lincoln. Or your precious business. Just be a father. You’ve done it before. It’s like riding a bicycle. You’ll be fine.”

  I shake my head. This is it. I’m actually about to lose my mind. I’m about to go over the edge. “You think I can find a goddamned nanny by tomorrow?” I shout.

  “You might want to keep your voice down,” she says with sugary sweetness. “You don’t want to teach her any foul language, do you?”

  As though I haven’t heard her swear like a drunken sailor. Before I can remind her to keep her opinions of my choice of language to herself, her message filters through. “Wait a minute. Maddie is here?”

  There’s that practiced one-shouldered shrug again. “Yeah. She’s outside. Didn’t Erica tell you?”

  No. She fucking did not. I stare at her in disbelief.

  “Look, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve got this for you.” She opens her purse and pulls out a thick envelope. Then she holds it out to me.

  I don’t take it. I don’t even dare to think it could be what I hope, pray it could be. Of course, it’s not. After all, this is the day from hell.

  “It’s the custody papers. I’ve signed Madison over to you. Just suck it up and do your duty. You are her father, after all.”

  My eyes nearly drop out of my head. My mouth falls open too, but I quickly snap it shut and frown. It takes a lot to leave me speechless, but that’s where I am right now.

  My cunning ex-wife recognizes this. She trains her cornflower blue eyes on me and flutters her lashes. She knows her eyes are her greatest asset. Once they used to set my pulse racing. Now, they leave me stone-cold.

  Maybe they always left me cold.

  Maybe, I should’ve been honest with myself in those days before the wedding, when I let the fact that I was a kid from Bay Ridge and I was marrying a Park Avenue princess blind me. Sure, Regina seemed perfect on paper: beautiful, educated, connected, wealthy, and the sex was always hot, but she wasn’t warm or real. There was never anything behind those icy eyes.

  She comes from a family with ice water running in their veins.

  As a matter of fact, I can’t remember ever seeing either of my ex-in-laws hug or kiss their daughter. Not even on our wedding day. They were a breed of people different from me. If one single word could sum up my childhood, it was “warmth.” A life full of hugs, praise and appreciation. I knew even then that our marriage was doomed, but I built her up in my head. I wanted it to work. She was like that Rolls Royce you dream of having.

  I take the envelope from her hand. Part of me still thinks this is a trick. Is she really giving Madison back to me?

  “It’s a shame we broke up,” she murmurs. “I’ve yet to meet a guy with a bigger or angrier dick than yours. Sometimes, I still miss it.”

  “Get out, Regina,” I mutter from between clenched teeth.

  She grins. She always had skin thicker than a rhino’s hide. “Okay, okay. Don’t bite my head off. I’m going.”

  I watch her turn on her heels and walk away.

  She turns at the door. “Oh, one more thing. Maddie has chicken pox. It’s just the remnants of the disease, but she doesn’t looks so good.”

  “What?” I bellow. “You dragged her halfway around the world while she is sick?”

  “Don’t be so dramatic. We flew first class, obviously. She’s fine.”

  I can’t believe this. I knew Regina was a nasty, callous, heartless monster, but I’ve never seen anything like this. The selfishness it takes to do something like this. What kind of mother would drag her sick daughter out this way, when she ought to be in bed? Her own bed, in her own room.

  The door shuts. I stare at it. Still in disbelief. Fuck. Maddie had chicken pox and I didn’t even know about it. I am a lousy father. I raise my hand and look at the document. I’m clutching it so hard—I’m nearly crushing it. I relax my hand. I tak
e the document out and look at my ex-wife’s signature.

  Hell, she actually did it.

  She gave me custody!

  Suddenly, Weissman and the leak in my company feel like they are nothing. I got my daughter back. I look out of the window and a ray of sunshine is trying to burst from behind a dark cloud.

  I couldn’t afford to show Regina how happy I felt when she stood here in my office. I know what she is like. Vindictive. A dog in the manger. Even if she doesn’t want something, she can’t bear for anyone else to have it. It would kill her to know she just gave me the thing I want most in life. She could have so easily withdrawn her offer. But she didn’t. I have the paperwork in my hands.

  Maddie is mine, mine, mine!

  I punch the air and a whoop of pure joy escapes my mouth. I stride over to the door, open it a crack, and listen.

  “I love you, my darling,” Regina is saying.

  “I love you too, Mommy,” Maddie replies dutifully.

  “Be a good girl for mommy, okay?”

  “I will.”

  “Goodbye darling. I’ll call you when I get to France.”

  “All right. Goodbye, Mommy.” Her voice is forlorn and small.

  It hurts me a little. Poor thing is going to be ripped away from everything she knows. But I can give her better life. I know I can.

  I wait until the sound of Regina’s stilettos start to die away, then I open the door and my heart breaks.

  Lincoln

  Oh, Maddie.

  Too sick to care very much where she is, or what is happening around her, she is sitting huddled up in one corner of the big, black leather sofa in Erica’s office. Her head is turned to watch the departing figure of her mother, but her mittened hands scratch restlessly at her itchy skin.

  Mittens?

  One of Regina’s pathetic attempts at mothering her child.

  Poor mite. To think Regina flew her across the Atlantic while she is in this condition. She looks so small and vulnerable.

  She turns her face back, and sees me. The light from the iPad on her lap shines on her little face, highlighting how many angry red marks there are on her skin. “Daddy,” she whispers.

  I know that voice. It comes out when she is very tired, or sick. I walk up to her, push the two pieces of Louis Vuitton luggage on the floor away, and crouch down in front of her. Her eyes are red and crusty. The last thing she should be staring at is her iPad. Gently, I take it from her lap and put it on the sofa out of her reach. I touch her forehead. She doesn’t seem to have a temperature. “Hey,” I say softly.

  She blinks hard and tries not to cry. Her mouth trembles and she presses her lips together to take back some control. “Do you think I’ll ever see Mommy again?”

  I frown with surprise. “Of course, you will.”

  She sniffs. “Are you sure?”

  “What makes you think you won’t?” I ask curiously.

  “Because,” she pauses to wipe her nose. “I know Juan doesn’t like me. He told Mommy he wants her to have his child. Then it would be just theirs.”

  “Oh, honey,” I whisper, and wrap her small body in my arms. I want to fucking kill Regina and her stupid boyfriend. “Your mommy is always going to your mommy, okay? Nobody and nothing can change that, do you hear me? Your mommy needs to go to Europe for a bit so I asked her if I could take care of you and she said yes.”

  She moves and stares at me with big eyes. “You did?”

  “Of course.”

  “But Mommy said, you didn’t want me because you were too busy in the office.”

  Jesus Christ, I swear I could cheerfully wring Regina’s neck. “I think Mommy might have misunderstood. I’ve never said that. I always wanted you to live with me, but until recently, you were too young to come and stay with me so the Judge decided that you should stay with Mommy until you were old enough. Now that you are old enough and Mommy is going to be busy in Europe for a few months, we decided that you should come stay with me. If things work out and you like living here, then you can even stay here with me. Is that okay with you?”

  She smiles shyly then nods.

  “Good. The thing is, I’m not really prepared. Mommy and I were thinking that you would be coming in a couple of weeks, but as it turns out you’ve arrived early and while that makes me super happy, I am not really prepared. I have an emergency at the office and I don’t have the apartment ready for you yet, so will you forgive Daddy if everything is not exactly the way it should be for the next few days?”

  She stares at me. “What do you have to do to prepare, Daddy?’

  “Well, loads of things. I mean, your room is not even painted yet.” I grin at her. “Which, maybe that is a good thing, because now you get to pick out your own favorite color.”

  She smiles, that impish smile that I haven’t seen for ages. Come to think of it, every time I’ve spoken to her on Skype, Regina was always hovering in the background and Maddie always seemed a bit distracted and distant.

  “Can I have more than one color, Daddy?”

  I grin. “It’s your room, so you can have as many colors as you want.”

  Her eyes grow as big as saucers. “Really?”

  “Sure,” I say with a shrug. “What colors were you thinking of?”

  She starts ticking the colors off on her fingers. “Red, blue, yellow, purple, and green. Oh, and pink.”

  My eyes widen, then I chuckle at her excitement. “Oh, wow.”

  She nods solemnly. “I’ve got a unicorn and I want him to be comfortable in my room.”

  I nod. “Okay. The thing is I’m really, really busy for the next few days, so I won’t be able to get your room organized that fast.”

  She claps her hands “I know what. I can camp out here with you. All I need is a tent.”

  I stare at her. My daughter never fails to amaze me. “You want to live in a tent in my office?”

  Her eyes shine. “Can I?”

  I rub my jaw. It would be a terrible, terrible thing to do and yet, it would be the fucking perfect solution until I can get a Nanny sorted out, and I can figure out how to solve my problems at work.

  “Please say, yes, Daddy. Please. Please. Please?” she begs.

  My parents would have had a heart attack. My staff will think I’ve gone mad. If Regina finds out, she might try to take back custody of Maddie back. I run my hands through my hair.

  “Please, Daddy?”

  Fuck it. So what if it isn’t the norm? At least this way, I’ll have her with me. I smile. “All right, just until I get a Nanny for you and do up your room, okay?”

  “Yah, Yah, Yah,” she sings happily.

  Erica comes in. “Do you want me to get anything for you, or Madison, Mr. Cage?”

  “Yeah. I need you to go get some stuff. We’ll need blankets, pillows, lots of toys, one of those multicolored Princess tents.” I look at my daughter. “Did I miss anything?”

  “Ice cream,” Maddie pipes up immediately.

  I wink at her then turn back to Erica’s dumbfounded expression, and add, “A small freezer for the ice cream and a lot of fluids, including milk.”

  “Okay. Anything else?”

  “Yeah. Find out if everybody in the office has already had chicken pox.”

  Lincoln

  It surprises me how independent Maddie is. The kid effortlessly amuses herself for hours while I meet with my tech team. There’s just no way around it. My company is going to the wall and damn me, if I don’t do everything in my power to avert that.

  We have dinner together, which is quite frankly, the highlight of my day from hell, but every time my phone rings, and I have to take the call, she just quietly continues with her meal while I’m on the phone. I don’t know whether to be impressed, or saddened by her maturity. When we get back to the office, I offer to read her a bedtime story.

  “Daddy, I can read, you know,” she explains with world-weary patience.

  “I know you can, but sometimes, it’s really nice when someone else rea
ds for you.”

  She thinks about it. “Okay,” she says, grinning up at me.

  I smile back at her, but it troubles me that she has missed out on so much. How could I have been so caught up with work that I know almost nothing about her upbringing? I’m going to have to buy more clothes for her too. Her suitcase is full of designer party dresses. Not a single pair of jeans in sight. It’s enough to make me wonder what my daughter’s life has been like for the last two years.

  You could’ve found out for yourself.

  The nagging, knowing voice in the back of my head isn’t going to lie down and let me get away with anything today. It is true I could’ve pushed to be a bigger part of her life. Even if I didn’t have shared custody—a blow that took a long time to get over—I should’ve pressed for more visitation. A few times a year, plus a little time around her birthday and the holidays wasn’t nearly enough.

  Obviously, since I know so little about her life.

  We go back to my office that now looks like a giant playroom. Erica found a pink princess castle tent with turrets. She also bought a blow-up dragon, and a whole load of toys and books.

  Maddie changes into her pajamas and brushes her teeth in my bathroom. She asks me to plait her hair for her.

  “Why?” I ask.

  “Because it will be a horrendous mess when I wake up and Mommy says I have to have my hair in braids. Christina always makes two braids.”

  “Right,” I say taking the brush from her hand. I try very hard, but braiding hair is more complicated than it seems at first.

  “Are you finished, Daddy?” she asks for the tenth time.

  “Never mind. We’ll deal with the mess in the morning,” I say, swallowing my frustration. I will have to get someone to teach me. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed. What story do you want?”

  “Can we read The Little Mermaid please?” she asks politely, as she settles into the sweet smelling, freshly laundered blankets.

  I’ll have to remember to give Erica a bonus this month. She went out of her way to make sure that my sick little girl has everything she could possibly need. “Of course.” I climb into the tent and using a flashlight, I read her book to her.