When Mercy Rains

by Kim Vogel Sawyer

  Alexa frequently pondered her mother’s strong rejection over the weekend as she and Sandra finalized the plans for Grandmother’s birthday party. She came to the conclusion that Mom’s anger was borne of fear of losing Alexa to Mr. Aldrich. If she stayed in Kansas, she’d spend more time with her father than with her mother. For nineteen years, it had been Mom and her against the world. Mom didn’t have a husband or other children, so of course she’d be afraid of losing Alexa.

  But Mom needed to understand something. Alexa was growing up. And growing up meant striking out on her own. She’d give Mom a few days to settle down, then she’d take her aside and talk with her. She had no doubt, in time, Mom would be supportive again. She loved Alexa too much to stand in the way of her pursuing the course God had planned for her.

  Because the more she thought and prayed about it, the more Alexa believed opening a bed-and-breakfast inn was a God-planted seed. Maybe the seed wouldn’t bloom here in Kansas at the Zimmerman farm, but that didn’t mean she’d never see it blossom. She could be patient and wait for God to reveal where and how. She was young. She had time.

  And in the meantime, she’d continue asking Mr. Aldrich questions. Whether Mom liked it or not, he possessed knowledge Alexa needed, and she couldn’t squander the opportunity to “pick his brain,” so to speak. Besides, it was her right to know her father. Something else Mom would have to accept.

  After worship service on Sunday, the family gathered at Clete and Tanya’s for lunch. Tanya had set up a self-serve taco bar, and the children took their plates to the backyard while the adults gathered around the dining room table. Midway through the meal, Sandra poked Alexa with her elbow—their preplanned signal to launch Operation Surprise Party.

  Alexa wiped her mouth and sent a bright smile across the table at her mother. “Hey, Mom, remember that museum we saw in Wichita when we took Grandmother for her appointment? The one you said you’d like to visit sometime?” She turned to Grandmother. “We decided to do the zoo instead, but even you commented it looked like an interesting place to visit, remember?”

  Grandmother nodded. “I remember. The County Historical Museum.”

  “That’s the one!” Alexa could sense Sandra smirking and was careful not to look at her. Grandmother was sharp enough to pick up on hidden motives. Alexa kept her gaze fixed on Mom. “I was thinking … Grandmother’s birthday is next Friday, right? Wouldn’t you like to do something fun with your mom for her special day?”

  Just as they’d planned, Mom agreed, but her tone lacked real enthusiasm.

  Grandmother made a tsk-tsk sound with her tongue. “Alexa, I’m a little beyond seeing getting older as ‘special.’ ”

  Alexa laughed and shook her head. “Oh, come on. You aren’t old. And you and Mom haven’t had any real time for the two of you in …” She hesitated, unwilling to cast a negative light on what was meant to be a happy occasion.

  Sandra rescued her. “So exactly what are you thinking, Alexa? That Suzy and Mother should take a day trip together?”

  “More than just a day trip.” Alexa shot Sandra a grateful grin. “A minivacation.”

  Tanya joined in right on cue. “What a great idea! Mother Zimmerman hasn’t been away from the farm for more years than I can remember. All of us have enjoyed getaways, but she always stayed behind. Suzanne can provide the nursing care she needs, so she makes a perfect traveling companion. And you can take care of things at the house while Mother Zimmerman is away. You’re a genius, Alexa.”

  Grandmother held up both palms, scowling. “Now wait just a minute. You’re talking about me like I’m not in the room again, and you know how I feel about that.” She frowned at each of them by turn. “I haven’t taken a vacation because I don’t like being away from my home.”

  “But, Grandmother, it would only be for a couple of days. Maybe three.”

  “Three!” Grandmother’s eyes widened. “Three days away from my house?”

  “Well, sure,” Tanya said. “There’s so much to do in Wichita. Museums, and the zoo, and shopping. We took the girls to a place in the mall where you can build your own teddy bear. People of all ages were there, creating furry little friends to take home with them. I can just imagine you and Suzanne making mother-daughter bears as a memory of your time together.”

  Grandmother scrunched her face. “You’ve got to be kidding …”

  Shelley had initially resisted being part of their team of convincers, but she suddenly blurted in her typically saucy manner, “Mother, stop being a stick-in-the-mud. How many times have you bemoaned not having your oldest daughter with you for holidays? Now she’s here and she’s willing to do something special just with you, and you’re being a pill. Stop it.”

  Grandmother pursed her lips and glared at Shelley for a moment. She turned to Mom. “Did you know about this?”

  “Yes.”

  “What do you think about it?”

  Mom didn’t even hesitate. “I approved it.”

  Alexa jumped in again. “Come on, Grandmother, this is meant to be my present to you.” She injected as much disappointment in her tone as possible without sounding overly dramatic. “You wouldn’t reject a birthday gift from me, would you?”

  Silence fell around the table. If Grandmother still refused, all their careful plans would be for nothing. Sandra and Tanya had declared Alexa the most likely person to convince Grandmother to leave the farm, thus making the trip her idea rather than anyone else’s. Alexa held her breath, hoping her aunts were correct.

  Finally Grandmother shook her head and sighed. “I suppose it would be ungrateful to reject a gift. If Suzanne really wants to go away for three days with a grumpy old woman, I won’t resist.”

  Alexa threw her arms around her grandmother’s neck. “Thank you!”

  She patted Alexa’s arms, then wriggled. “You’re welcome, but don’t strangle me.”

  Alexa laughed and picked up the last taco on her plate. “I made reservations for you at a bed-and-breakfast in an 1889 Victorian house with period furnishings and a private courtyard and a library where you and Mom can kick back and read and—”

  Grandmother’s laughter covered Alexa’s words. “All right, all right, you’ve convinced me. You can quit trying to sell the idea now.”

  Alexa grinned at Mom, who actually winked in response. Conversation rose again, moving to other topics, but Alexa didn’t join in. She listened. And gloated. Not only had she convinced Grandmother to go away for enough time to get the house scraped, painted, and decorated for the party, she’d also put Mom in a place where she would have firsthand experience receiving the kind of attention Alexa hoped to provide to guests someday. God, let this time with Grandmother not only bind Mom to her mother again, but let it open her eyes to what You’re leading me to do. Let her give me approval, because I can’t go ahead if she’s set against it.

  Alexa caught the handle of Mom’s suitcase and braced herself to toss the case into the trunk of Grandmother’s older model sedan.

  “Hold up, Alexa.” Mr. Aldrich trotted across the yard. The bill of his cap shaded his face, but she knew he’d be smiling. Every time he looked at her, he smiled. The familiar warmth blossomed in her chest as he stretched out his hands toward her. “Let me do that for you.”

  Even though she was capable of lifting the suitcase—she and Mom had learned to be independent without any man around to see to heavy items or opening doors or taking out the trash—she stepped back and watched him swing the case into the trunk. He made it look a lot easier than she would have. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. Anything else need to go in there?”

  “Grandmother’s wheelchair and her suitcase. But she isn’t quite finished packing yet.” Alexa wasn’t sure if Grandmother was deliberately delaying the leave-taking or if she just couldn’t decide what to take. As she’d said, she hadn’t been away from the farm in years. It might be uncertainty rather than unwillingness that slowed her progress.

  Mr. Aldrich fell in step wit
h Alexa as she moved toward the house. She liked having him walk beside her. Their shadows stretched long across the grass in the morning sunlight and seemed to run ahead as if preparing the way.

  “I was pretty surprised when Clete told me his mother would be going on a trip with Suzy.”

  Alexa still hadn’t gotten used to people calling her mother by the shortened name. In a way, it made her wish she had a nickname, too. It seemed casual, personal, affectionate. But Mom didn’t seem to hold any affection for Mr. Aldrich anymore. Did he still harbor feelings for her? She wished she could ask.

  Alexa forced herself to respond to his comment rather than delving into the past. “I think she surprised a lot of people, but I’m glad they’re going, and not just so we can … do what we need to do.” Better remain evasive in case Grandmother came out on the porch and overheard them talking. “Mom and Grandmother need time together. It’ll be good for them.”

  The corners of Mr. Aldrich’s eyes crinkled with his approving grin. “That’s a very unselfish attitude. You’re a caring young woman, Alexa.”

  Just as had happened when he’d said he was proud of her for wanting to enter a vocation of service, pleasure flooded her. Mom often praised her, but hearing words of affirmation from this man—from her father—awakened parts of her that had lain dormant her whole life. She swallowed a delighted giggle and quoted one of her mother’s mottoes, “ ‘It’s more blessed to give than to receive.’ Mom taught me that. She’s always put others above herself. If I can be half as caring and unselfish as her, I’ll be happy.”

  “Yes, well …” His steps faltered for a moment, his expression turning hard. The muscles in his jaw bunched as if he clamped his teeth down on other words. Then he pulled in a slow breath and his face relaxed. “Just be careful to never put humans—not even your mother—on a pedestal. None of us are perfect. Try to emulate Jesus instead. He won’t disappoint you.”

  Alexa hurried to assure him—partly in defense of Mom and partly because she wanted him to know she understood what he was saying. “I always try to look to Jesus first. Mom taught me that, too.”

  They reached the porch, and Alexa started up the steps. Mr. Aldrich remained at the bottom. “As soon as they’ve gone, come out to the barn. I’m cutting down the last of the cabinetry and have my saw set up out there. It’s noisy, so I won’t hear you holler—you’ll have to come get me. I’ll stop what I’m doing and make a phone call to let the fellowship men know they can come out and get started on the house.”

  She hugged herself, imagining the transformation that would soon take place. She could hardly wait to see the house decked out in its new color scheme. “Okay.”

  The screen door opened and Mom stepped onto the porch. She held a suitcase so old school it didn’t even have wheels. Its weight made her list to the right. “Alexa, I think we’re finally ready. I’ll take this to the car. Do you want to go in and say good-bye to your grandmother?”

  Alexa hurried up the steps. “How about I bring her out, and I’ll tell both of you good-bye by the car.”

  “Fine.” Mom headed across the porch and slowly made her way down the steps, the case thumping against her leg. When she reached the bottom, she angled her path to move around Mr. Aldrich.

  He shifted, too, blocking her passage. He held out his hand. “Let me take that for you.” It was a gentlemanly gesture, but his voice sounded clipped. Hard. Almost demanding.

  Mom lifted her chin slightly and took a giant step to the side, avoiding his hand. “No, thank you. I’m capable of taking care of it myself.” She scurried on across the grass.

  Mr. Aldrich scowled after her for a few tense seconds before clomping across the yard to the barn.

  Alexa gazed after him, chewing her lip. It hurt her heart to see Mom and Mr. Aldrich at odds with each other. Did every child want her parents to be happy together rather than uptight? Although troubled by their behavior, she also found pleasure in feeling what kids who grew up in two-parent homes probably experienced from time to time when their moms and dads had differences. For the first time in her life, she felt completely like a normal daughter. Should she go after him or Mom—or both—and play peacemaker? What would kids in traditional families do?

  The longer Mom and Grandmother remained at the farm, the less time the men would have to get started on the new paint job. And Alexa, with no experience playing buffer between a set of parents, had no idea how to fix things. So she sent up a little prayer for God to repair whatever was broken between her mother and Mr. Aldrich and hurried inside to Grandmother.

  Suzanne

  At the car, after settling Mother in the passenger seat, Suzanne wrapped Alexa in a hug. She clung tightly, almost desperately, and Alexa squeezed back just as hard. Suzanne took comfort in her daughter’s firm embrace.

  She stepped away and tried to smile. Alexa’s image swam, distorted by her tears. She blinked quickly, hoping Alexa wouldn’t notice, and forced a bright tone. “All right. We’re off on our adventure. I’ll see you Friday evening. Yes?”

  Alexa nodded. She closed the passenger door, sealing her grandmother inside, and lowered her voice to an excited whisper. “By six everyone will be here, the house will be wearing its brand-new colorful coat, and the buffet Sandra and Tanya planned will be ready. I can hardly wait!” She leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on her mother’s cheek. “Have lots of fun. Relax. Laugh.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  “I’ll be praying for you to be safe and happy.”

  Alexa’s sweet words brought another rush of tears. She grabbed her close again. “I’ll pray the same for you.”

  A soft chuckle sounded in Suzanne’s ear. “You’re acting just like you did when you dropped me off for my first day of kindergarten. Remember? I would have been fine and not cried at all if you hadn’t started crying.”

  Suzanne snuffled and laughed, stepping back. “I guess we both survived that separation, didn’t we? And I’ll survive this one, too. It’s just …” Her gaze drifted in the direction of the barn, where Paul’s power saw sent up a high-pitched hum. She caught her daughter’s hands. “Are you sure you don’t want to go with us instead of staying here? Sandra, Shelley, and Tanya can get the party things done.”

  “M-o-o-o-o-m.” Alexa drew out the word, affecting a mock pout. “Stick to the plan, will you? I want to make sure the house gets decorated and painted the way I want it.” She hooked Suzanne’s elbow and escorted her around the car. “I’ll be just fine for a few days without you. You and Grandmother are going to have so much fun you won’t even miss me. Wait and see.”

  Suzanne sighed and popped open the car door. “All right, then. We’re off.”

  “Good!” Alexa gave her door a push and then stepped back, smiling and waving at both her and Mother.

  Mother waved back, then looked at Suzanne. “Are you sure you want to go? You look worried.”

  “Of course I want to go. I’m looking forward to our minivacation.” She put the car in gear and backed up slowly, watching Alexa trot toward the barn. She pinched her forehead into a frown.

  “Suzanne, you aren’t looking forward, you’re looking back.”

  Mother had no idea how true her words were. She sighed and aimed her gaze to the road. “Just making sure I don’t hit anything, Mother. Here we go.” As she pulled out of the yard, she glanced at the rearview mirror. Alexa was still in the barn. Her stomach tightened into knots. She’d commanded Paul to keep his distance from Alexa. God, make him do it.

  Paul

  Paul shut off the saw as Alexa darted across the barn floor toward him. Her smile stretched from ear to ear, and his leftover grumpiness from the brief encounter with Suzy drifted away like sawdust from the saw’s blade. “Are they gone?”

  “Yes!” She clasped her hands beneath her chin and released a joy-filled giggle. “Let’s get started!”

  “Okay.” Paul strode to the corner, where a black plastic rotary-dial telephone was mounted on the wall. Alexa hovered
near his elbow as he called Bernie Lapp. At the man’s gruff greeting, Paul said, “All’s clear. C’mon out.”

  “For both projects?” Bernie’s voice blared through the line.

  Paul cringed. Would Alexa overhear? She wasn’t meant to know about the second project, a surprise he’d planned for her. “That’s right. I’m in the barn, and I’ll point you to the right paint cans.” He couldn’t have the men grabbing the paint meant for Alexa’s guest cottage and slapping it on the side of the house.

  “All right. Be out soon.” The line went dead.

  Paul turned to Alexa. “Okay, your part is done. I can take it from here.”

  “Are you sure? You remember how I want it painted? Window frames ocher with slate on the inside trim? The fish scale—”

  “Ocher with slate blue on the fascia boards.” He grinned and patted his shirt pocket. “I’ve got it all right here, Alexa. Don’t worry. You can trust me.” You can trust me … Wasn’t that what he’d said to Suzy the night he led her to the barn loft? Don’t worry. Nobody gets pregnant the first time. It’ll be all right, Suzy—you can trust me. And standing before him was the evidence of how wrong he’d been.

  “Mr. Aldrich?” Alexa was looking at him strangely. “You’re kind of spacing out on me.”

  He forced a laugh. “Sorry. Just thinking.” He steered her toward the door. “You get the house spiffed up and ready for weekend guests.” Karina always wanted fresh sheets on all the beds, everything dusted and spit-shined. The task should keep Alexa busy and out of the way. “I’ll be in and out working in the kitchen so it’s ready by Friday, but Clete has the paint plan, too, and if there are questions we’ll holler at you, okay?”

  She sighed. “Okay. I just really want to see it all happen. Make it happen.”

  Paul smiled. “You’ve done more than your fair share already.” He took her by the shoulders and turned her so she faced the house. “Take a good look at the way it is now. Memorize the ‘before.’ Then Friday, when everything is done, I’ll bring you out to this spot and you can look at the transformation. If you haven’t seen the mess that has to happen in between, you’ll appreciate the ‘after’ a lot more.”