Me, Myself and Him

by E. N. Joy

  Locksie took a deep breath and then stood up. She knew she had to go back out into the salon and apologize to Hannah. So, she straightened herself up and headed back to her station only to find an empty chair, Hannah’s cape and towel, and a twenty-dollar bill.

  Locksie figured that if she couldn’t make amends with Hannah, at least she knew one other person who deserved her apology.

  “Come on in,” Mary said to Locksie after opening the front door. “I didn’t think you were coming over this morning.” Mary looked down at her watch. “It’s a quarter till. I dumped the coffee pot already.”

  Locksie walked in like a puppy who knew it had no business peeing in the house and was lucky to even be let back in. She had wanted to call her aunt the night before and apologize, but after her fight with Hannah, she figured she needed to get her mind right. Lately, she had just been an emotional ball of fire.

  But last night, Dawson had helped to calm and relax her nerves by preparing her a nice, hot bubble bath, followed by a full body massage that put her in a deep sleep. That was his way of making amends for their own fight. She was glad that she had fallen asleep during the massage. She definitely would have felt as if Dawson deserved some nookie for that treat, and sex would have only complicated the feelings she had yet to truly stand and face, but instead ran from.

  When she woke up this morning, Locksie felt like a brand new person, ready to face her faults. But by the time she got to her aunt’s house, all of her courage seemed to evaporate. She sat in her car for God knows how long before going up to Mary’s door. Apologizing just wasn’t something Locksie was good at.

  “Aunt Mary, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the way I acted the other day when we were talking about Hannah and Drake.”

  “Child, you know I don’t pay you a lick of mind,” Mary said. “Don’t even worry about it.”

  Locksie was relieved that Mary didn’t dwell on her getting a tad bit out of line with her during their conversation the other day. Locksie had been stressed about apologizing, and worried her aunt might not forgive her.

  “Speaking of Hannah,” Mary said, “have you had the time to talk to her yet? You know, give her the benefit of the doubt to tell her side of the story before jumping to conclusions?”

  Locksie put her hand to her forehead as if just the mention of Hannah’s name had brought on a migraine. “Talked to her; yes. Give her the benefit of the doubt; no.”

  “So, what did she say?”

  Locksie raised her head as something crossed her mind; something Hannah said at Fiesta when Locksie confronted her about seeing her with Drake. Actually, it was something Hannah hadn’t said.

  “You know what, Auntie? Now that I think about it, Hannah didn’t really say much about going out with Drake and lying about it. I mean, she was like O.J. during his trial. You just wanted that fool to shout out one time, ‘I didn’t do it!’ but he wouldn’t. He didn’t. Well, that’s kind of how Hannah was. She never defended herself by rebuking my allegations. So, I guess that clears that up. It wasn’t an allegation. It was the truth.”

  “Now, don’t be too quick to come to that conclusion, Locksie. Just because you don’t speak up on something doesn’t mean you are guilty. Sometimes God won’t have you speak up on your defense, but He will make it so that someone else does. Sometimes God will have that person whom you thought liked you least in this world come to your defense. So, like I said, don’t bear false witness. Don’t speak on something you don’t know the whole truth about. ’Cause dang it, if I spoke on half the crap I done seen some of them holy, sanctified, baptized-in-the-water saints do without knowing the beginning, middle and the end, I could stir up all kind of mess.”

  “ ‘Dang it? Crap?” Locksie repeated after Mary. “What’s up with that? Those aren’t the words I’m used to hearing fly out of your mouth.”

  Mary, who had been gathering her gym bag, purse and keys, stopped in her tracks and looked up at her niece. “You noticed?” She then walked over to the door. “Just something I been praying and fasting on. Guess it’s working.” Mary shrugged, hiding the proudness she truly felt in her heart as she closed the door and locked it behind her and Locksie.

  “Fasting?” Locksie said with a puzzled look on her face. “You say that all the time and I know it means not eating, but why would you not want to eat?” Locksie examined Mary’s physique as she turned and stepped off the porch. “But then again, you are looking really good, Aunt Mary. Not that you didn’t before. But I can see where you’ve slimmed down even more. Maybe I should fast and lose some of these few extra pounds I been towing around.”

  “Then it won’t be fasting,” Mary was quick to say. “It would just simply be starving yourself, and that wouldn’t mean anything to God. Fasting is a sacrifice.”

  “Why would God care about somebody not eating anyway?”

  Mary chuckled. “It’s more than just not eating. Fasting is not eating with spiritual communication in mind.” Mary observed the confused look that still remained on her niece’s face. “Let’s see.” She thought with her index finger to her chin. “It’s deliberately abstaining from food so that you can open up to clear communication with the Father. You deny yourself food as a way of saying that food is secondary to something else—something greater. I wanted God to deliver me from the cursing demon, so I sacrificed food for what I wanted from God to show Him how bad I wanted it. I knew not cursing, although it seems minor to some, would make my walk with the Lord more pleasing. So for me, food was secondary to wanting to better my walk with Christ and honor Him by not having a foul tongue.”

  “But don’t you get hungry doing all that?” Locksie frowned.

  “During my fasting, whenever my belly hungered for food, I feasted on the bread—not bread as in a loaf of bread—but bread as in daily bread. In other words, the Word of the Bible.”

  “Okay, I get it.” Locksie nodded. “I think. But I know I’d get hungry if I tried not eating; even if it’s just to get in that little red dress I bought on sale at Macy’s that I knew I couldn’t get into when I swiped my charge card.”

  Aunt Mary chuckled. “It’s not hard when you get to the point where you hunger and thirst for Him only and what He has for you.” Mary looked down at her watch. “But anyway, you have a good day, and until you’re to the point where you can fast for the things that God has for you and wants you to be, I’ll fast for you.”

  “Oh, Aunt Mary, that’s so sweet,” Locksie joked as she walked toward her car. “You’d deprive yourself of food all on account of my soul?”

  “No, I’d fast and not eat all on account of what I want God to do with your soul.” She winked.

  Locksie stood outside her car door after opening it. “So, you’d do that. You’d fast and pray—make that sacrifice for me when there’s nothing for you to get out of it?”

  “But there is something I’d get out of it, Locksie. I’d get the comfort of knowing that when we both have left this earth, we’ll meet again in heaven, where we will enjoy eternal life.”

  Locksie smiled and waved goodbye to her aunt. Tears had formed in her eyes. She managed to catch one on her fingertip before it slid down her face and ruined her freshly applied Mary Kay make-up.

  Before she knew it, she burst out laughing as she started her car. “This is crazy. I can’t believe I’m sitting here crying over the fact that my aunt is willing to sacrifice food in order for me to get to heaven.” Locksie laughed again before pulling off.

  But I sacrificed more, Jesus wept.

  Chapter 20

  “Okay, lemon drop, tell me all about you and Mr. GQ’s little meeting after I left the restaurant,” Reggie said through the phone receiver.

  “Who, Drake?” Hannah replied. She had just returned home from a long day at a marketing seminar when Reggie called her cell phone. She made sure to check the caller ID before answering the call. Locksie had tried calling Hannah several times since their confrontation in the shop, but whenever Hannah saw her phone
number, she rejected the call and made a mental note to call up Terri Deal, the owner of Scizzors salon, to see if she could start doing her hair.

  “Yeah, Drake,” Reggie replied.

  Hannah flopped down on her bed and began removing her shoes. “It was just a meeting, Reggie. So, what do you mean tell you all about it?”

  “Just a meeting my foot,” Reggie begged to differ.

  “Look, it went the same as any other meeting. Why would you think this one would be any different?”

  “Puhleez. That man was feeling you with everything but his hands. My little raspberry tart, he just wanted to reach out and touch ya.”

  Hannah laughed at Reggie’s concocted misconception. She thought Reggie’s observation was far off course. Not once had Drake come on to her or even appeared to have been the least bit interested in her other than businesswise. “You’ve got it all wrong,” Hanna said. “Mr. GQ is all business. So, if he was feeling me, he kept it to himself.”

  “Humph, he didn’t keep it to himself. He kept it between him and God. That was until I interrupted their conversation.”

  “Huh?” Hannah had no idea what Reggie was talking about.

  “Remember now, he’s the crazy man that was in the bathroom talking to God.”

  “Yeah, I teased him about that,” Hanna recalled.

  “Well, let me tell you, all the stuff he was saying to God makes sense now. He was rambling on about wanting this woman to be his wife, but that the woman was already married. Girl, he had to be talking about you. That man wants you. I heard it with my own two ears. And if you don’t believe me, ask God. He heard it too, and you know He ain’t gon’ lie to you.”

  “Reggie, you are so crazy,” Hannah said as she caught herself blushing at the mere thought that Drake might have been attracted to her. Once she realized that she was blushing, she immediately became embarrassed and straightened herself up.

  “I’m not crazy. Granted, I thought your boy was a little crazy at first, but after talking to him, he’s cool. Just loves the Lord, I guess.” Reggie sighed.

  “So, you really think Drake likes me?”

  “How can I prove my point?” Reggie paused for a minute. “Okay, I’ve got it! He gave me a twenty-five percent discount because of you. And let me guess, he gave you a thirty percent discount because of you?” Hannah’s slight gasp revealed that Reggie was correct, but she had no idea how he could have guessed. “I knew it.”

  Hannah slid off her stockings and then lifted her skirt so that she could sit cross-legged on her bed. She couldn’t erase the huge smile that was spattered across her face. She looked like a teenager who had just found out that the captain of the football team was going to ask her to homecoming. She had to admit it was exciting to even fathom that another man found her attractive, especially since she had been doubting herself ever since that night Elkan didn’t come home. She wanted to hear more of Reggie’s perception on how Drake felt about her, but she didn’t want him to know that she cared.

  “You were so caught up in the contract and your entrée that you didn’t catch the way he was gazing at you—like it wasn’t an easy effort for him to take his eyes off of you.”

  Hannah only wished she could have caught a glimpse of the look Reggie claimed Drake was giving her. Maybe he was attracted to her. It had been a long time since Hannah felt attractive. She couldn’t even remember the last time her own husband had even said or done anything—even something as minor as just gazing at her affectionately—that had made her feel attractive.

  “The brother is fine,” Hannah confessed after picturing Drake in her head again. In all honesty, she hadn’t looked at him in that way before. But now there was just something about knowing that he might have a thing for her that made her look at him in a whole different light.

  “I ain’t no hater. I can give the brother his props. I’d keep him away from my wife, that’s for sure.”

  “Please, my husband has nothing to worry about,” Hannah said, trying to convince herself more than Reggie.

  “If you say so. But check this out, honey bun. I gotta get ready to go.”

  “All right then, Reg. I’ll talk at ya later.”

  After hanging up the phone with Reggie, Hannah walked over to her CD player and turned on D’Angelo’s You’re My Lady. She grooved and crooned to the words as she undressed, preparing to get in the shower. She slid her skirt down her legs and then stepped out of it like she was tip-toeing. She then removed her blouse as she sang along, “You’re my lady, such a wonderful lady.” She couldn’t help but fantasize that a man was singing those words to her in that same deep, smoky tone. His hands were caressing her and he was looking into her eyes as he serenaded her.

  Hannah closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself. She imagined the arms wrapped around her were those of a man; a man who had thought so much of her to create those words in the song just for her.

  She removed her remaining garments and found herself smiling as she pictured her back to this man, with him pressing up behind her, staring at her every move. She could even smell the cologne she imagined he was wearing. His touch began to overtake her, so she turned to him and opened her eyes to return the stare he had been giving her earlier. For the first time in her vision, the man’s face appeared as clear as day.

  Suddenly, everything seemed so real as she stood in the middle of her bedroom naked.

  “Elkan!” she screamed, startled by his presence. She picked up her skirt and covered her body with it.

  Elkan said nothing. He just stood there. Hannah could tell from his body language and the expression on his face that he felt as though he had just walked into the room and caught his cheating wife with her lover. Strangely enough, Hannah felt the same way, and it showed on her face and in her actions as she began to stutter in her speech.

  “Uh, uh, Elkan, honey, what are you doing home?” Hannah raced to the closet and grabbed her robe.

  “Duh, I live here,” he said as he flopped down on the bed and loosened his tie. With all the big cases he had been handling lately, it wasn’t unusual for Elkan to put in a fourteen-hour day to bring home the bacon, but today he had put in only ten hours.

  “I know that. I meant what are you doing getting off work so early?”

  “I worked ten hours. What do you mean early? The average person works eight. You want me to just work an entire twenty-four-hour shift next time?”

  “I didn’t mean it like that. I know you worked long and hard today. You always do,” Hannah said as she nervously tied the belt around her waist, wondering just how much of her striptease Elkan had witnessed. She prayed on everything that Elkan had been unable to read her mind and detect her thoughts about another man. “It’s just that you usually get home later. I wasn’t expecting you.”

  Elkan sat silently as he observed his wife’s peculiar behavior, then he said, “Not expecting me, huh? What? Did I interrupt something?” Elkan stood and then made his way over to their walk-in closet. He looked around and then came back out and kneeled down to look under the bed.

  Hannah watched her husband as if he had lost his mind. “What are you doing, Elkan?” she asked as he got up from his knees. Elkan ignored his wife’s question and just continued to look around the room. Eventually Hannah figured out what her husband was up to and became offended. “Elkan Leroy Wells!” Hannah scolded. “Do you think I have a man in here or something? Is that what you’re looking for? You think you showed up home early and caught me with another man? You’ve got some nerve.” Hannah’s eyes started to water, not so much because her feelings were hurt, but because she was angry. As hard as it was to start trusting Elkan again after his tryst with Peni, she had never as much as looked at another man and he still didn’t trust her.

  “Well, is there?” Elkan asked matter-of-factly. “Is there another man here, Hannah?” Without waiting for her to respond, he walked into the bathroom to case it. Hannah angrily followed behind him.

  “You know what, El
kan? Yes! Yes, there is another man here,” Hannah said, letting her arms flop down to her side. Elkan brushed by her as he exited the bathroom, bumping his wife’s shoulder. “There is a man in here. Me and D’Angelo. And it seems like D’Angelo is the only man in this room right now.”

  Elkan stopped in his tracks, turned around. The look her husband was giving her was one she had never seen in his eyes. But then again, she had never insulted his manhood before.

  “Sorry,” she quickly apologized. “I didn’t mean to insinuate that you were anything less than a man. It’s just that it’s insulting for you to think that I would be in our bedroom with another man. I’ve never done anything to make you think that I’d ever step outside of our marriage.”

  Elkan finally spoke. “I’m sorry, too. I don’t know what just came over me. I mean, I walk in and you’re doing a little striptease thing. You lookin’ all good and sexy, and my mind just . . .”

  “Never mind, Elkan.” Hannah put her index finger to Elkan’s juicy lips. “It’s okay. But you should know by now that all of this is for you. Just you.” Hannah referred to her naked size eight body. “You never have to go elsewhere, baby.” Hannah pressed her lips against her husband’s, who in return pulled her against him and began kissing her passionately.

  Still kissing her, Elkan took his wife and laid her on the bed as he began removing his clothing. Once undressed, Elkan rubbed his hands up and down his wife’s body like it was his first time ever touching her. Hannah’s body began to burn with passion. She took in her husband’s touch and kiss. She couldn’t remember him ever touching her that way before; kissing her that way before. It all felt so brand new.

  Hannah closed her eyes and suddenly the touch wasn’t her husband’s anymore. The kiss wasn’t his. It was the man she had been fantasizing about earlier. It was Drake. Maybe that’s why everything felt so different and new to her. She was imagining that it was Drake and not her husband. This time guilt didn’t take over as she went along with the fantasy, keeping her eyes closed in order to block out reality.