Me, Myself and Him

by E. N. Joy

  “I could have,” First Lady Deborah assured her. “But my New York boy was fee-yiiine!” She flailed her arms up in the air like she couldn’t stand how fine he was.

  The women high-fived and laughed. “On a more serious note, ladies,” First Lady Deborah said, “it wasn’t like Reverend got out of jail and it was happily ever after. Oh, we went through some things. But guess what? I went through what I went through so that you wouldn’t have to.” She pointed to them both. “What I went through wasn’t for me; it was for you—to be able to share it with you so that you will know that if God did it for me, then He’ll do it for you. Amen, sisters.”

  Hannah and Locksie looked at each other and smiled. “Amen,” they said in unison.

  “Now, let’s pray,” First Lady Deborah said as the women held hands and bowed their heads. “Heavenly Father, oh gracious merciful Lord, I just thank You for the Holy Spirit joining us in this room and giving me the words needed to help these two women whose hands I hold. Lord, I ask that they receive these words and take them to heart and begin to converse with You, Lord. That they begin to wait on You, Lord, before they do anything.

  God, I ask that You hear these women’s prayers and answer them. That You show them if the men they are anguishing over are the men You would have them have as their husbands. If not, Father, God, then I ask for You to give these women the strength to walk away and walk toward what You have for them. I say this prayer in the sweet-sweet name of Your Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.”

  “Amen,” the women repeated as they embraced First Lady Deborah, each shedding tears on her shoulder. After what seemed like hours of First Lady Deborah just sitting there holding the hurting women, they finally released themselves from her.

  “Now what do we do?” Hannah asked as she and Locksie prepared to leave the office.

  First Lady Deborah looked at them and smiled. “You wait.”

  Chapter 44

  Hannah and Locksie were prayer warriors in the making as they prayed faithfully and diligently for the past week; ever since talking with First Lady. They had even committed to a three-day fast, where they prayed through their hunger pains. As a matter of fact, they were just finishing up a soft, quiet prayer together, after Locksie had finished flat-ironing Hannah’s hair.

  “We touch and agree. In Jesus’ name, amen,” Locksie said.

  “Amen.” Hannah smiled.

  Just then, Hannah’s cell phone rang. She pulled it out of her purse and looked at the caller ID. She looked at her watch. “Girl, let me get out of here. This is Reggie; probably calling to give me grief. I have to meet with him today. I called and told him I might be a little late because I had to come here and get my hair done, since your lazy tail didn’t do it last night like you said you would.”

  “I know, girl. I’m sorry. I was just too tired by the time I made it home from doing all that hair up in here.”

  “It’s okay. I’m just messing with you. But anyway, I ain’t trying to hear Reggie’s mouth. That’s why I ain’t even answering that call.”

  Feeling a stare, she looked up at Locksie, who was making a crazy “yeah, right” face. “I really do have to meet with Reggie this time.” They giggled.

  “Girl, I know. I was just teasing,” Locksie said as she removed the cape from around Hannah’s shoulders and they headed to the register.

  “Here you go, girl.” Locksie handed back the credit card that Hannah had given her to charge her services. While Hannah signed the credit card slip, Locksie looked out of the salon window and happened to catch a glimpse of a familiar face.

  “Here you go,” Hannah said, handing Locksie the slip. Locksie wasn’t paying her any mind. She was too busy trying to figure out if the person she was looking at was actually who she thought it was. Just then, Hannah’s cell phone rang. She looked down at the caller ID. It was Reggie again. She figured she might as well answer it just to let him know that she was on her way so he would settle his britches. “I’m on my—” she answered before Reggie quickly cut her off.

  “Butter rum cakes, I’m sorry, but the man came up to my office and asked me if I knew where you were. He seemed happy and excited, but the last I saw him he had laid a cat out like a rug—and I’m way too good looking to be walking around with a busted-up mug,” Reggie hurriedly explained. “So I told him where you were.”

  “Slow down, Reggie. What are you talking about?”

  “Elkan,” Locksie said after staring long enough to confirm the identity of the man standing outside next to Hannah’s car.

  Hearing Elkan’s name, Hannah followed Locksie’s gaze to the parking lot. “Reggie, let me call you back.” She hung up the phone and laid down the credit card slip. “Locks, I’ll see you this evening,” she said as she made her way toward the door.

  “You want me to come with you?” Locksie offered.

  “No, I’ll be okay. I’ll see ya tonight at home.”

  “Hannah, baby,” Elkan said as soon as he saw her come out of the salon. He went to meet her halfway up the walk. “I’ve been looking for you all day.”

  “Then why didn’t you just call me?” Hannah asked, not even an ounce as excited as Elkan was. For weeks, she had been sick not hearing from him. She had tried to call him several times the week after the incident at the gym, but then she realized that as long as technology consisted of caller ID, she’d never get through to him; she’d have to wait until he was ready to talk to her. It had seemed like forever, but now here he stood as if he had just talked to her yesterday.

  “Baby, I know I should have called you before. But now that I know everything; now that I know what I need to say, I wanted to see you in person.”

  “What do you mean, now that you know everything?”

  “Drake; he called me and explained everything. He said that he had been trying to track me down for a minute and that he finally . . . Well, never mind about all that. I’m just so glad to see you. I’m so glad to finally know the truth. I can’t believe I actually thought—”

  “Oh, so it took somebody else calling you up and telling you the truth? You just couldn’t listen to little ol’ me, your wife?” Hannah interrupted.

  Now even Elkan’s excitement was starting to dwindle. He couldn’t understand why Hannah had an attitude. He was there to take her back. “Look, Hannah, you’re lucky I’m even here. Any other woman—”

  “Any other woman like who? Peni? Is that why you got so upset? Is that why you were so quick to think I was cheating on you, because you were so quick to cheat on me? Well, I’m not like you, Elkan.” Hannah pointed at him.

  Through the clear glass, Locksie, as well as the other two stylists in the salon and the customers inside, tried their best to imagine what Hannah and Elkan could possibly be saying. But all they could see was a lot of finger-pointing and head-bobbing.

  “I know you’re not like me, Hannah,” Elkan stated. “In a lot of ways.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Hannah snapped.

  Elkan was dumbfounded. Hannah was coming out of left field as far as he was concerned. She had never been so forceful with her tone. She was usually a passive person. Any other time if he had come running to take her back, no questions asked, she would have simply fallen in his arms. That’s what he thought was going to happen. Obviously he had thought wrong.

  “It’s not supposed to mean anything, Hannah. Just that we’re different in a lot of ways.”

  “Oh, who are you kidding, Elkan? When you mean different, you mean our blackness.”

  “See, you’re trippin’ now,” Elkan said.

  “Am I, Elkan?”

  “Yes, you are.”

  “Yeah, right. I see how uneasy you get when sistahs walk by and give you the evil eye. You still get embarrassed that they think you’re hugged up with a white girl.” Hannah felt so powerful for the first time in her life with Elkan. Things that she had wanted to say before but never had the courage to were just flying out of her mouth. “It was never en
ough for you that my mother is black; that I am African American in spite of what I look like on the outside. Well, I got news for you; I may not be one hundred percent black, but some of my ancestors came over here on the same boat as yours did, and don’t you ever forget it, nigga!”

  Just then a black woman and what looked to be her teenage daughter had gotten out of their car and were heading into the salon. They hadn’t heard anything Hannah had said except for the “N” word.

  Elkan’s head dropped in complete embarrassment. As the two women walked closer, they looked at him in disgust. They looked as though they wanted to personally revoke his brotha-hood card for standing there allowing his white woman to use the “N” word.

  She’s the one who said it, he thought about saying to the women. So, why y’all looking at me like y’all want to beat me up? But he knew why they considered him to be the culprit. They thought that he was sleeping with the enemy. In their book, that was just as bad as being the enemy.

  “See, there it is; there’s that look again,” Hannah said. “You’re embarrassed by me.”

  “Yeah, but not your skin color, or what anybody else thinks, but because you just said the ‘N’ word.”

  “If my skin was a little darker and my hair wasn’t blonde and pressed straight, would you be embarrassed?”

  “Well, no, but . . .” Elkan searched for words and found none. “Where is all this coming from anyway?” He grabbed Hannah’s arm to lead her toward the car. “Come on, let’s just go home and we can talk about it. We can talk about everything. I just want you to come home with me.”

  “No.” Hannah snatched away.

  “Come on, baby. Little E misses you. I miss you.” He grabbed her arm again.

  “I said no!” She snatched away again. “Locksie’s been letting me stay with her at her aunt’s house. I need some time to think about things. I need to hear from God.”

  “What?” Elkan snapped. “What’s God got to do with it? This is about me and you.”

  “He’s got everything to do with it. Look, Elkan. I need to go. I need time.”

  He grabbed her again, this time somewhat forcefully. “I need you.”

  As far as Locksie was concerned, Elkan had grabbed her friend one too many times. She thought about Hannah telling her that the night after the gym fiasco, Elkan had been so angry that Hannah thought he was going to hit her. Locksie wasn’t taking any chances. With broom in hand, as if she had been inside sweeping, Locksie exited the salon. “Is everything okay, Hannah?”

  “Yeah, everything is okay,” Elkan answered for her with an attitude. “Why you storming up out of there like you coming to her rescue or something; like you her man? Do you think I would hurt my wife?” He looked at Hannah. “Do you think I would ever hurt you?”

  Hannah looked into Elkan’s eyes. “You have, baby,” she said softly, touching his face. “More than you’ll ever know.” On that note, she got inside her car and drove away. This time, he let her go without a fight.

  Chapter 45

  The following Wednesday, Hannah and Locksie were pulling up to the house after Bible study only to see Elkan’s car parked in front.

  “Elkan, what are you doing here? How did you know where the house was?”

  “Never mind all that,” Elkan said. “I just need to talk to you.”

  Hannah looked at her husband, from whom she had been separated for two months now. He looked nothing like the strong, handsome, confident man she had known for years. He was unshaven and sported some khaki pants, an untucked T-shirt and dress shoes with no socks.

  “Please,” he pleaded. “Just five minutes.”

  Hannah sighed. “Okay, Elkan. Just five minutes.” She turned to Locksie, who definitely had her back. “I’m cool. I’ll be in in a minute.”

  “You sure?”

  “You heard her,” Elkan jumped in.

  Locksie began to mumble a prayer as she walked into the house, giving Elkan a look that told him he better keep his flesh under control while on her property or she wouldn’t hesitate to call the police.

  “What do you want, Elkan?” Hannah asked him once Locksie was in the house.

  “I want you. Let’s talk . . . for real this time.”

  Elkan and Hannah talked for the next two hours. They discussed everything, right down to Peni, the affair and how he always made her feel that even though she was his wife, because Peni had given him a child, Peni held a higher place in his heart. Hannah expressed how not being able to give Elkan a child ate away at her.

  “But you have me,” Elkan had tried to comfort her. “Isn’t having me better than having ten sons?”

  Hannah went on to explain to him how she was blessed to have Elkan, but that childbearing, to her, was like a badge of womanhood that she might never achieve.

  Hannah confessed her feelings about Drake to Elkan; how just the idea of another man finding her attractive boosted her confidence. And of course, they discussed the touchy subject of race, which got so loud that Locksie had to come out of her prayer closet to see what the heck was going on. Aunt Mary used the back den as her prayer closet; her quiet room where she could pray and be in sweet communion with God. Locksie had kept the room that way for her own use.

  “Is everything okay out here?” Locksie opened up the door and asked after hearing all of the commotion.

  “I’m fine, Locksie,” Hannah assured her. “Everything is fine.” Hannah stood there with her arms folded, looking down.

  “You sure, now?” Locksie said, not completely convinced.

  Still a little fumed from Hannah continuously accusing him of being embarrassed of her, Elkan snapped at Locksie, “You heard her! What are you, her watchdog or something? She said she’s straight. Now, take your behind back in the house while I have a discussion with my wife—or do you think she’s your wife now just because she’s livin’ up in here with you?”

  Hannah’s mouth dropped open as she looked at Elkan, who was glaring at Locksie with disgust.

  “Huh? Is that what’s going on here?” Elkan questioned. He looked from Locksie to Hannah. “Your man done left you for another woman so now you trying a different flavor?”

  At first Hannah thought that Elkan might just have been trying to get under her skin with his outlandish insinuation, but the look on his face showed that he couldn’t have been more serious as he waited on an answer that he never got. He looked at his wife. “You screwing your hairdresser now? Is that why you don’t want to come home with me? You into wome—”

  Before Elkan could finish his last word, the palm of Hannah’s right hand had connected with his left cheek. His instincts were to ball a fist and retaliate. Seeing the balling of his fist, Hannah protected her face in her hands.

  “Elkan!” Locksie’s voice brought Elkan to his senses right before he could land the intended blow to Hannah’s face. Immediately, Locksie rushed out the door and grabbed Hannah out of harm’s way. Hannah was shocked by the fact that she had put her hands on her husband and shocked that he was only inches away from putting his hands on her.

  “I think you better go now,” Locksie said to Elkan as she pulled Hannah into the house and closed the door behind them; locking it and putting the chain on the door.

  “Oh my God, Locksie,” Hannah said, putting her hand over her mouth as tears formed in her eyes. “I hit him. I actually hit Elkan. I hit my husband. I can go to jail for domestic violence. But besides that, he’s my husband. I can’t believe I put my hands on him like that. I feel awful for hitting him.”

  “Hannah, just calm down,” Locksie told her.

  “Hannah!” They could hear Elkan yelling from the other side of the door. “Just let me talk to you, baby. Look, it’s okay. I’m sorry. This is all my fault; not yours. I don’t blame you for hitting me. I deserved it. Please, just talk to me. Let’s go somewhere and talk.”

  Elkan began pounding on the door. Hannah jumped and began crying. What was going on? What was happening to her life? It had gone from a d
ream come true, her meeting a handsome, wonderful man who had treated her well and had been good to her—with the exception of his one forgiven mistake of adultery—to a complete and total nightmare. She needed help, but she had no idea where it would come from.

  Out of nowhere, Hannah just began calling out the name of Jesus. “Jesus!” she wept. “Jesus.”

  “It’s okay,” Locksie said as she tried to comfort her by bending down and wrapping her arms around her.

  “No,” Hannah said, pushing Locksie’s hands away as if to say that it wasn’t Locksie she needed to comfort her. “Jesus!” she yelled out again. “Jesus, help me! Oh my God, in the name of Jesus, help me!”

  Locksie pulled away and watched as her friend experienced what was either a breakthrough or a breakdown.

  “Jesus!” Hannah called out as she looked around, hoping that the person whose name she was calling would suddenly appear. “Jesus!”

  Locksie ran to the linen closet and grabbed a large bath towel. She placed it over Hannah’s trembling body. She had seen people do this in church; place a scarf-like material over someone who had fallen out at the altar. Locksie didn’t know the significance of it, but she felt that it seemed fitting at the moment. She had prayed over the towel from the closet to the living room; hopefully by covering Hannah with the towel, she was covering her in prayer.

  Upon returning to the living room, Locksie realized that Elkan’s knocking, ranting and raving had ceased. She hadn’t even noticed when, but it had. He was gone.

  After placing the towel on Hannah’s body, which was stretched out across the floor in front of the door, Locksie stepped back and watched as Hannah wept. She wanted so badly to go and comfort her hurting friend, but her spirit told her that it wasn’t the time and to just let her be. Being in control of her flesh and not having a disobedient spirit, Locksie slowly backed away into her bedroom. She knew that Hannah would be okay. Jesus had kept her when she and Dawson broke up and she was going through the motions. If He did it for me, Locksie told herself, then I trust that He’ll do the same for Hannah too.