Lies in Love

by Ava Wood

“It’s okay.” Belinda stepped forward, grasping his collar the way Lady Vanna did and he immediately pulled away.

  He couldn’t look at her, because he knew the next words he said may deepen her fragile state, but he had to say them. He couldn’t go on like this. “I can’t do this. I’m so sorry.”

  Belinda stood frozen, looking defeated and confused. “I don’t understand.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. This is supposed to be easy for me, but it’s not.”

  Belinda’s jaw dropped.

  “It’s not what you think. It has nothing to do with you. It’s all me. My mind is somewhere else, with someone else.”

  “Are you kidding?” Belinda began fumbling with the buttons on her jeans.

  “No, I’m sorry. This has never happened before.”

  Tears began to trickle down Belinda’s face. His last statement clearly wasn’t phrased in the best possible way.

  “That’s not what I meant. I mean, I’ve never not been able to clear my mind.” Landon began tucking his shirt back into his slacks as he struggled with the right words. “Ugh. This is all coming out wrong.” When his shirt was in place, he began running his hand through his hair. “Look, I met someone and I can’t stop thinking about her. It has nothing to do with you. Please don’t think less of yourself because I’m messed up. It’s the real reason why I wasn’t taking work. This girl, she’s haunting me and I can’t seem to break free from whatever spell she’s put on me.”

  Belinda sniffled as she turned her eyes back to his.

  “I wish I’d met you under different circumstances. I wish I could be what you need right now, but I can’t.” Landon watched as Belinda swiped at the few tears that were stranded on her cheeks. He reached in his pocket and removed enough money to cover what Belinda had paid. “I’m really sorry, Belinda. You’re a wonderful woman and I’m sorry your husband couldn’t realize it.”

  Belinda sniffled again. She took the money, but removed a hundred-dollar bill from the pile. “Here.” When Landon refused she insisted, “For your time.”

  Landon shook his head. “No. It’s not necessary. I should have never taken this job. I should have never put you through this. I sincerely apologize.” He neared Belinda just enough to stroke her cheek. “I’ll pay for the room, too. This is all my fault and I want to at least do that much for you. And please don’t argue. I won’t take no for an answer.”

  Belinda nodded as she gathered her things from the table. “Thank you for your honesty, even if it isn’t what I wanted to hear. I hope you figure out whatever is going on up here.” She tapped his temple and left the room.

  Landon watched her go then slowly leaned head first into the door. “Damn it, Talia. You’re ruining my life.” He turned and slid down the door, his knees bent in front of him. He wasn’t supposed to get attached to a woman for any reason or feel loyalty to her. He had a job to do and she was getting in the way of that. He was bewildered. He had no idea what to do, but he knew there was only one person he could turn to, the one person who could be brutally honest with him while still supporting his wishes. He just hoped his brother was awake.

  The light of a single lamp glowed through the living room window of Dawson’s home. Landon listened for noise from inside, trying to gauge if anyone was awake. The faint sound of the television played from somewhere within so Landon knocked lightly, not wanting to wake Dawson's children, who were most likely fast asleep. He immediately heard faint voices reverberating through the door. Moments later, his brother cracked the door open wearing only pajama bottoms with his hair in all directions and his eyes heavy lidded.

  “Landon?” Dawson pulled the door wide and ushered Landon in. “Is everything okay? Did something happen to Dad?”

  Landon should have known that Dawson would suspect the worst when he showed up this late. His brother was an early riser so Landon was slightly surprised to find him still up, but he needed his brother’s honest and unbiased advice. “Dad’s fine. I just...” Landon stepped inside the door to get out of the chill and waited for his brother to close it behind him. “I need your advice.” He blurted out the words.

  “Are you in trouble?” Dawson led Landon to the living room, where his wife was wrapped in a satin robe on the couch.

  “Hi, Mya. Sorry for coming by so late.”

  Mya pulled her robe tighter around her, smiling softly as she approached her husband. “I think I’ll turn in and let you two talk.” She kissed Dawson and then moved to Landon to kiss him on the cheek. “Good night, Landon.”

  “Good night.” Landon waited for Mya to make her way to the bedroom. When he heard the door latch, he searched for the words to explain to his brother what was on his mind. He took a seat on the couch and leaned his elbows on his knees before he began. “I think I messed up big. I had a job tonight and I couldn’t seal the deal.”

  “Is it impotence?” Dawson snickered lightly. “Have you actually met your limit?”

  “No, God no. It’s not like that. It’s … well…” Landon ran his hands through his hair and shot off the couch. He wandered to the fireplace mantle, turned to lean against it, and began again. “I’m not sure how I feel about my job anymore.”

  “What brought this on?” Dawson couldn’t hide the shock on his face.

  “I don’t know. Everything sort of change after this job I had a few weeks ago. It was this girl, this woman.” He paused, envisioning her photo lying on the table in front of him. “Her friends hired me, because she’d been riding them real hard at work and they thought maybe if she got laid she’d lighten up.” Landon saw the look his brother gave him. He knew Dawson hated when he talked about women so lewdly. He barely tolerated his job, but he was the younger brother and Dawson would never turn his back on family. It wasn’t even that Landon felt that way about women, it was just a persona he felt like he had to play with the guys and it always tended to slip out around his brother. “She wouldn’t even give me the time of day, but there was something about her. Maybe it was the fact that she turned me down, you know, the thrill of the hunt and all, but there is just something about her. I can’t get her out of my head. And now I’m giving up jobs and walking away from women because she’s always on my mind. It’s insane.”

  “What’s insane about the fact that you are attracted to this woman? Maybe if you get to know her, you’ll really grow to like her. You might decide you want a different path for your life.”

  “That’s just it. I couldn’t leave her alone so I got her to go out with me. It was amazing. She may be a hard ass, but there’s something there underneath. She has this amazing soul. She’s not naïve and ignorant, because she knows the stakes and she doesn’t want to dick around.” Landon saw that look on Dawson’s face again. He was the ever-vigilant teacher and father.

  “Sounds like you like her, so what’s your question?”

  “No, no, no. I don’t like her. I mean, she’s hot as hell, but it’s nothing more than sexual attraction. I just don’t know how I feel about my job in all of this. At least not until I figure out how to get her in bed.”

  “Landon, seriously? You and I both know this isn’t just about sleeping with her. I can tell that you see something in her.”

  “No. No way. You know I don’t do relationships. Relationships are toxic. Just look at our dad. Look at what Gina did to him. He’s not the man we used to know.”

  “Do you even hear what you are saying? Relationships are toxic,” Dawson mocked Landon. “I’ve been with Mya for twenty amazing years; we have three beautiful children together. There is nothing toxic about our relationship. And as for Dad, well, he brought that on himself jumping into marriage with a woman half his age.”

  Landon rolled his eyes and started pacing.

  “I’m not saying you have to marry the girl, but at least allow yourself the opportunity to really get to know her and see if she could possibly change your life, but honestly, bro, I think she already has.”

  Landon mulled over his brother’s last state
ment. Was he changing because of her? Was his attachment really something more than just sexual attraction? Landon had no idea how he could ever be sure, but he respected his brother’s advice and knew he had to make a decision. “Thanks, Dawson. You’re the only guy I can talk to about this.”

  “I guess it’s a good thing I’m your brother then.”

  Landon chuckled and began heading toward the door. “I ought to go. I know you need your beauty rest.”

  Dawson rose to Landon’s side and slapped him on the back. “Get out of here.” He laughed, escorting him to the door with his arm around his shoulders.

  At the door, Landon hugged Dawson and told him good night. He had plenty to think about, things he never imagined would cross his mind.

  “Where’s Talia?” Camey walked into the shop fifteen minutes late. She hoped Talia’s glowing mood would still be intact, because she wasn’t up for getting chewed out as soon as she walked in the door.

  “Talia hasn’t come down yet.” Sara placed hydrangeas, ranunculus, and cornflowers strategically in a bridal bouquet mock-up. She was obviously very focused on the task in front of her.

  “Well, has anyone gone to check on her?” Camey tried to listen for sounds above the shop as she questioned Sara.

  “Reina texted her earlier, but we’ve been busy working on getting orders ready ever since.”

  Camey huffed. “Seriously? What if something happened to her?” She turned on her heel and marched up Talia’s stairs. She didn’t waste any time knocking, instead withdrawing her key to unlock the door then barging right in. The apartment was quiet; there were no lights on in any of the rooms. “Talia? Are you up here?” The sound of faint movement came from Talia’s room, sending Camey in that direction. She found Talia wrapping a plush robe around her, stumbling from the bed. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” Her voice was gruff. She sounded like she hadn’t slept a wink.

  “You don’t look fine.” Camey stepped closer to her, but halted when Talia shot her a menacing glare. “Look, we were just worried about you. I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

  “It’s fine. Just get to work. I’ll be down when I’m ready.”

  Camey stood staring, realizing the grumpy, unapproachable Talia was back. “I’ll be downstairs,” she mumbled as she walked away. When she reached the ground floor, Sara looked up from her work.

  “Is she not up there?”

  “She’s up there. And she’s back to her old pissy self.” Camey plopped down onto a stool going over the last few days, trying to figure out what brought on these sudden changes.

  “What do you mean?” Sara’s brow wrinkled.

  “She wasn’t even dressed yet and when I asked if she was okay she said she was fine and told me to get to work.” Camey dropped her head in her hands. “Why does she keep shutting us out? What is going on?”

  “Are you sure she didn’t just wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

  “Honestly? I’m not sure she slept at all. She looks terrible.” Camey quieted and jumped from her stool when she heard the door to Talia’s apartment open.

  “Hey, sleepyhead,” Sara called out when she saw Talia descending in a pair of turquoise jeans, a cream tunic, and matching crochet chunky beret.

  “What are you doing?” Talia snapped the moment she looked in Sara’s direction.

  “I’m getting that bridal bouquet ready for this afternoon.”

  “Did you not read the order? It specifically said green hydrangeas, not blue. I swear, Sara. If you weren’t my sister, I’d have fired you by now.”

  Sara stared agape at Talia, then began removing the blue hydrangeas and sticking them back in their storage container to return it to the cooler.

  “Camey, I thought I told you to get to work. I’m not paying you to eavesdrop on conversations and hold up walls,” Talia spat and dashed to the cooler.

  “This is just great,” Camey muttered to Sara as she passed. She had actually gotten used to the return of old Talia and now she was back to her irritable, intolerable ways. This day was sure to be a long one.

  Coffee was brewing in the kitchen and Ethan and Brent were trudging around the apartment. It was just another weekday for the guys, but Landon was searching for something, anything, to do to fill his time. He hadn’t told the guys about his last job. He’d never walked out on a date before. It gave the company a bad name. And Landon was certain Quincy would have called by now.

  Landon’s worry grew with each passing day that he was receiving the silent treatment; not that the silent treatment really affected him, because it kept him out of having to turn down another job, he just hated disappointing Quincy. He didn’t know what he was going to do, but he knew as long as Talia was all he could think about, he couldn’t continue to be an escort.

  Landon meandered through the kitchen in search of a clean mug. He was usually the one responsible for the dishes, but with this new development, he was spending every waking moment in the gym or out on a run just to avoid the guys. He was dressed in his running shorts and an old TCU t-shirt, ready to leave as soon as he downed his morning dose of wake-up juice.

  “You going for another run?” Ethan had been treading softly around Landon for days.

  Landon raised his mug in answer and nodded before he poured himself a cup. He didn’t have the words that Brent and Ethan needed to hear. There was no way they would understand that he just needed some time to himself to clear his head, time he wasn’t getting being in this apartment. The apartment was a reminder of everything he was and had been. For the first time, he actually regretted becoming an escort. His predicament would be so much simpler now without his profession in the way, but if it wasn’t for his job, he probably would have never met Talia.

  He was conflicted, unable to decide whether he even loved or hated himself. He needed time to reevaluate his life to decide where his future was taking him. Clutching his cup of coffee, he returned to his room to slip on his running shoes. When he was on his runs, he found time to think a little more, make the difficult decisions that weren’t easy to make. His only problem now was knowing that the only decision he could make would be a drastic one that he never saw coming.

  Landon’s motorcycle idled in Dawson’s driveway. He sat staring at the olive two-story bungalow thinking about the thriving family inside. How had his life ended up so differently from Dawson’s? They were brothers, after all. It seemed ludicrous that his brother could be so settled and well-adjusted while he lived his life in what was truthfully a dysfunctional existence. He’d always felt he’d been doing women a service, but in all actuality he was demeaning them, using them for his pleasure. Sure they were also getting pleasure and a few hours of companionship, but Landon was never really opening up and being a true companion to these women. Most he would never even see again. There were only a handful who returned regularly. It was suddenly abundantly clear that he was no longer proud of who he was, but ashamed. He wasn’t making his family proud. He wasn’t the prized son/brother/uncle to the people he cared about the most. And he definitely wasn’t someone his brother’s kids could look up to. Landon climbed off of his bike and plodded to the front door, watching the porch swing sway with the evening breeze as he went. He stared at the dark oak door listening to the sounds of laughing children inside then knocked. His brother answered just moments later.

  “Twice in one week?” Dawson was, per usual, dressed in his standard teacher attire: a shirt and tie hidden beneath a sweater and smiling profusely with his three-year-old daughter on his hip.

  “I needed to talk. Mind if I come in?”

  “Sure.” Dawson stepped aside as his daughter beamed at her uncle beneath blonde messy curls.

  Landon entered the house and deposited his leather jacket on a peg behind the front door.

  “Daddy, can I get down?” Dawson’s daughter asked.

  “Sure, Millie. Why don’t you go find Alice and Derek and see if they want to play?” Dawson kissed his daughter
’s cheek and set her on the floor. She ran from the room, giggling.

  “She’s getting big.” Landon realized he’d been watching her from the moment he walked in. As he entered, new thoughts afflicted him. He wasn’t usually so enthused by Dawson’s kids; not to say he didn’t care about them, but he’d never been a hands-on uncle. Kids weren’t a feasible option. He had no need to give them a second thought since he’d never planned to be in a relationship. Now with thoughts of leaving the business and trying to find something more with Talia, the idea of children wasn’t so unrealistic. The idea was a little frightening, but he had to add the possibility of kids to the list of things he would have to consider if he decided to quit escorting. He took a seat on the micro-suede couch with the sound of the children playing in a distant room echoing through.

  “That she is, and she’s a spitfire just like her mama.”

  “Where is Mya? Did she have to work late?”

  “No, since I had an early day at school today I told her to have a night out with the girls. She works so hard and doesn’t get out enough.”

  Landon nodded. With every word, he could hear the love Dawson had for his wife.

  “So, you still troubled about that woman?” Dawson cut right to the chase.

  “Yes, no, well, I am, but…” Damn it, she had him flustered at every turn. “I’ve been trying to clear my head, to decide what is best for me, but I can’t do that in the apartment with Brent and Ethan hovering and the reminder of everything I am. I just need some space from it all, you know?” Landon didn’t consider what Dawson could do to help, but he hoped he would have some idea, something that would be an answer to the looming question that he’d been dealing with.

  “You need a place to stay?”

  “I guess so, but I can’t ask you to put me up with the kids and Mya. I know she’ll never go for that.”

  “Well, maybe not in the guest room, but we still have that converted space over the garage. You know, the room we set up for Dad after he and Gina split. It’s not much, but it’s got a small kitchen, a bathroom, and a bed. I can talk to Mya and see if she would mind you staying for a while, at least until you get your head cleared. I’m sure it will be fine as long as there’s no women coming and going. I can’t have you doing business out of my backyard.”