Firewalkers: Dreamer

by Shiloh Walker

  No, what Becca had to do was learn not to let her own inner torment spill out onto others.

  She was actually getting better.

  So far, Caris had only felt the urge to wail at Becca’s loss of control once or twice today.

  Usually she was a bawling mess on the inside within minutes of dealing with this child.

  But she adored her. She was a feisty fighter with a sunny disposition, when Caris wasn’t forcing her mind back to the dark and dreary things that Becca would rather forget.

  Which left Caris open to other emotions, some random and indefinable. Others clearer…like the rage and confusion and discontent from Jax. And the feelings from Anni. Very clear, very focused. Her dark golden eyes were troubled. Her spiky black hair was in disarray as though she had been running her hands through it, and often.

  And the thoughts from her mind…“already”…? over and over. As Caris worked Becca through another basic shielding technique, she glanced over at Anni to see her slide a glance toward the door before hugging herself, her gloved black hands rubbing up and down her arms as though she were cold.

  Poor Caris, he just doesn’t get it…

  Oh, shit.

  “Becca, I think we’ll call it quits for now. You’ve done a great job the past few days. You deserve a break,” Caris said, keeping her voice even once Becca had managed to mount the basic shield, grounding, focusing, thinking of solid stone walls…only this one had a window. A window that saw Caris. And Caris was allowed to feel all of Becca’s emotions. This gift of Becca’s could possibly be a weapon, if they trained it right.

  Caris wasn’t sure yet.

  Right now, she allowed herself a brief moment to bathe in the glow of the girl’s happiness. She was so desperate to find some relief, some kind of help with this burden of hers.

  But once the girl dashed out, Caris slid her eyes to Anni, golden amber meeting the darker gold of the younger woman’s. Caris kept her face impassive. Anni, no matter what else she was, would always be a predator first. Her first instinct would be to attack, to strike out. To draw blood.

  And Caris was sorely afraid that if she let the girl see how despondent she was becoming, Anni just might try to strike out at the source of Caris’ distress.

  Not that Jax would ever hurt her.

  But that was the last thing they needed right now. One more stress in the already overburdened new army. The word brought a hot ball of rage to Caris’ belly and she had to tamp it down as her heart started to pound, calling to the predator in the room. Anni’s brows arched and her nose twitched, her tongue sliding out to dampen her lips.

  “Out with it, kitten. I heard it the moment you came in. Something’s up. What has the little tiger so upset?”

  Anni forced a smile and haughtily said, “I prefer to be called a panther, thank you.”

  It was more appropriate, with the black hair, the all black clothing Anni loved to wear. Caris grinned and said, “Maybe we should get you a black tail to wear. Start calling you el leopardo nigra, or something cool like that. But that isn’t what has you stalking around here, babe. What gives?”

  Anni dropped into a boneless little heap, reclining against Caris companionably. “You were one of the first people to make me feel like something other than a freak, you know that, Caris?”

  “You aren’t a freak, sweetie. You were born this way for a reason. We all were. We’ll know that reason in time.” Caris wrapped her arm around Anni’s slim shoulders and bent low over her, hugging her, resting her forehead against Anni’s head. “We’ve done a lot of good, saved a lot of children’s lives. Even helped the fools that condemn us.”

  “I know. You’re the one that made me understand that. You see what’s inside us. You feel it. You make us understand it. Even when you don’t want to, even when it hurts you. Sage knows that. I know it, to some extent. I saw how badly it tore you up a few times—especially with me, I could hear you. I know how messed up I was, that first summer, after I went crazy—”

  Anni’s voice broke and Caris could feel the blackness of guilt swallowing her up. “Anni, don’t do this to yourself. You were attacked, baby.”

  “The first time. Yes. But then—”

  “No buts. The first time you were attacked and you were just a teenager. Barely hit puberty and you were defending yourself when this change started on you. Between that Changing and you almost being raped, plus having to kill to defend yourself, it’s no wonder you went a little mad.”

  “My madness took the lives of five men. Some of those men probably didn’t deserve to die. And my madness almost pulled you with me.” Rising to a seated position with that smooth, easy grace, folding her legs under her, Anni focused her dark eyes on Caris’ face and said, “It could happen to you. I know that. You fear it as well. I can smell it, feel it. Am I right?”

  Caris inclined her head. “I don’t know if it could happen. I don’t think it’s completely farfetched,” she murmured, lifting one shoulder absently. Anni’s stare had her pinned in place, unable to tear her eyes away. It was a predator’s stare, like a tiger’s, or a panther’s. A hypnotic, enticing, deadly gaze that pulled you in and under. “And yes, I do fear it. After what happened with you, and some others, I’ve realized just how deeply I can connect with others. Sometimes, entirely too deeply. The more traumatized a child is, the quicker that child can pull me in. The places I’ve been pulled into aren’t places anybody can go to follow me.”

  Anni made a mewling sound deep in her throat, and lowered her head, now the hurt little kitten as she crawled over to Caris. It startled her at times, how animal-like this woman could act. It didn’t help, though, that after Anni had gone a little mad, she had fled to the wilds in Alaska, going to ground in one of the few wild refuges left on the planet. She had lived for months in solitude while her twin brother Dustin tried to find her, and ended up in Morgan’s hands.

  “Anni, what’s happened? What is going on?”

  “Morgan called,” Anni whispered roughly. “There’s a rally against us in Des Moines. They have a child, one of ours, a girl. But some uncontacted rebels will be there. He wants you to talk to the rebels and try to bring them over. Jax agreed. Sage and he are going over the plans now.

  “They’re sending you into a throng, Caris. An angry mob.”

  “Sage wouldn’t make plans about that without telling me,” Caris said faintly as black dots started to spin in front of her eyes.

  “He doesn’t know. Jax and Morgan refused to tell him. They want him focused. He’s not been himself since he had the collapse, and well, Sage is madder than hell about even having to work with Jax right now. He has to focus, though, so he’s pushing it aside. You’ll be sent in after he’s gone after the girl,” Caris murmured. “Jax and I are to go with you and work as your backup, your bodyguard. And Sage is taking the girl to Morgan’s group for healing…to keep him away from here, until you’re back.”

  Caris stood up slowly, feeling her skin stretch tight and hot, then go all cold, all within the span of heartbeats. Her head was spinning, black dots rushing in on her vision and she was pretty damn certain she would have vomited, if she had eaten anything in the past twelve hours.

  Her lashes lowered over her eyes as she sensed Jax drawing closer. A tensing of power around the area told her what she had feared. Sage had just teleported away. Fuck…the one person she could have used with her. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so close-lipped lately.

  Anni was dangerous. Downright deadly, when she was angered. A bloodlust ran in her veins, highly refined senses, night sight, all the features that made the deadly cats deadly…

  But Anni couldn’t help Caris protect herself.

  Sage could have.

  Lowering her forehead to the glass, Caris braced herself as Jax opened the door and came through. Ice flowed through the room, coating everything within as the vampire studied Anni. “It would seem my presence here is unnecessary—both of you seem to already know what we need to do,” he mused.
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  Every muscle seemed to draw tighter and tighter as he spoke. Caris forced herself to breathe slow and deep, relaxing the tensed muscles in her body, trying to slow her rabbiting thoughts. I can handle this…it’s been ten years since I last went out into a mass of people and I wasn’t prepared for what could happen.

  I can handle this.

  I can handle this.

  “Caris, must you persist in ignoring me?” Jax growled.

  Anni was resting her chin on her knees when Caris turned around slowly, meeting those dark golden eyes for one long moment.

  “She isn’t ignoring you, oh great vampire,” Anni mocked lightly, arrogantly, so very un-Anni-like. “She heard you loud and clear.”

  “Don’t, Anni,” Caris said softly, shaking her head as Jax’s eyes flickered and his fangs started to slide down. She returned her gaze to Jax and said, “Throttle down, Chief. You wanted the command of a bunch of American rebels. You had no clue what you were asking for, slick. Anni just gave you a taste. We are not like the people you are used to leading, Jax.”

  “Anni, you will never do this again. However you heard, whatever you were doing, stop doing it,” Jax said, turning to stare at Anni with cold eyes.

  Anni laughed, rolling onto her belly, and kicking her feet in the air, crossing her ankles. Her dainty fangs flashed as she smiled at them. “Should I cut off my ears? Plan on never being within a hundred feet of the house? So sorry, sweetie, I can’t help what I overhear. This was just something that caught my attention.”

  “Anni’s got the ears of a cat, love,” Caris said silkily. “She’d have to pretty much vacate the premises altogether to avoid possibly overhearing something. She can’t help having that hearing.”

  “Enough, Caris.” Aiming his chilly eyes her way, Jax said, “I assume you know what you are going to be doing, then? You realize how much you are needed. You can no longer deny this.”

  “No. I’ve never bothered to deny that I’m needed. I’ve even gone out from time to time and done exactly this. However, I prefer to plan and do it myself, my way.”

  “I’m aware of how you’ve always done it. With Sage, and Sage only. No more than a handful of times in the past, bringing in only a handful of people. We need to recruit strong leaders, not just the troubled children,” Jax said, his voice softening. “I know how to fight battles.”

  Caris made a tiny sound, muffled deep in her chest and walked away. “I’ll be waiting by the ALTV,” she said over her shoulder.

  Anni rolled to her feet in a smooth, liquid motion, her eyes on Caris. She waited until Caris had moved out of sight before she looked back at Jax. “You may know how to fight a battle but you don’t understand the weapons you hold.”

  Sage smoothed the sleeping teen’s hair away from her face. This one had been almost an adult. The state of Montana was still a little leery of killing children. No matter that they could spin fire in their hands or not. Well, this one had been a mind reader and speaker.

  Not even a terribly uncommon gift. Some people even still believed in psychics.

  What was really wrong was that she could control other people through their minds. And she had tried to use her gift to convince a local warden to let go the entire population of Firewalkers.

  Too large an order for such a young warrior.

  She had almost succeeded.

  Almost…which is why they had decided to kill her. Publicly. And with her drugged up to boot.

  “She’ll be a good hand to have on our side,” Morgan had said. “We need more like her. Too damn bad we can’t get Caris to act like this kid did.”

  “This kid doesn’t take the emotions of others inside her,” Sage had said shortly. Frustrated and tired of trying to explain the same thing over and over to Morgan, he turned and pinned him with an angry glare. “Caris gets too caught up in the emotions without a blocker between her and those she’s trying to help. She has to lower her shields when she’s trying to speak to that many people. It weakens her shields. And the volatile emotions of the suffering are her weakness. She can’t fight it. Anni almost destroyed her.

  “That’s why I go out with her. I block and filter what comes through to her. Without that, she stands the risk of getting swallowed up,” Sage said, turning away.

  “You’re just hypothesizing, right?” Morgan asked.

  “No. We’ve tried. We’ve been testing her gifts fairly regularly. Hell, how in the world do you think we ended up such good friends? How do you think we know each other so well? We’ve been working on pounding this thing out for the past ten years and so far, this is the only way it works.”

  “What do you mean, swallowed up? She gets sick for a while? Drained?”

  Sage’s lips canted up in a cruel, cold smile. “No. I mean go insane. That barrage of emotion, if she can’t filter it away, will drive her mad. And too much could likely kill her.”

  Morgan growled out, “Why are you the only two who know that?”

  “Because it’s her gift. It’s her choice…and I’m the only one she trusts enough to filter for her. And with good reason. You’d throw her to the dogs, if it suited your purpose,” Sage sneered.

  The soft, simple “Fuck,” Morgan uttered made Sage’s blood run cold.

  As he turned and met Morgan’s eyes, Sage felt his world start to grow even darker. “No. You didn’t. You said you’d wait.”

  “She’s at the rally.”

  Caris kept up a partial shield, filtering out the way Sage had always done. She moved among the people who were still trying to figure out what in the hell had happened, homing in easily on those who were brothers in arms, rebels fighting alone. Three refused to fight any other way.

  But more…more wanted to come to the safety of numbers. Anni had the job of herding them to different areas where they’d get information on where to go and how they’d hook up.

  So far, so good.

  Until now… Caris froze as a security officer stopped in front of her, watching in numb terror as two men grabbed another man who was trying to protect a small child. A child who had the odd glowing eyes of the Firewalker blood. The child was too young to have learned to stop the glowing. He had brought her out. Or she had slipped out.

  The security officer was terrified. Furious. At…the men who held the arms of the child. The security officer wore the standard eye shields of the department, but Caris would be willing to bet near anything—

  Too fucking many people around. If I stop them now, I get caught and I can’t help anybody else. Damn it! But the baby…

  Blackness, despair, rage, heartbreak…the whirlpool of emotion was pulling at Caris’ mind as she started toward the child and the father as somebody moved out of the crowd, drawing an illegal gun, several hundred years old. Standard weapon for those who hated the Firewalkers. Caris lunged, evading Jax’s hands, twisting away from him and bellowing even as the security officer drew her psilgun.

  But it was too late.

  The father lay on the ground, bleeding from a ragged hole in his chest, a sickening whistle coming from the wound. His eyes wheeled to the girl who was screaming in anger, terror, shock, as her skin started to glow red.

  “Vatalini…”

  Caris seized the child and dropped her first layer of shields, throwing an external one around the child, the security officer and her seething bodyguard. Everyone else around them went numb with the terror the girl was suffering, the pain the father felt.

  Anni was moving through them like a feline shadow, hissing as one woman who had been hurling obscenities tried to clutch at Anni in terror, pleading for help. “Like you helped them, you mean?” Anni spat, her lip curled up in disgust.

  Caris cupped the father’s cheek in one hand as she held the girl against her side. “Don’t fight the pain, not for her sake. I’m a stranger to you, I know. But I’m like she is. I’ll watch over her and protect her, teach her. You have a touch of what she will become. You know I speak the truth.”

  “Vatalini,” he ra
sped, reaching up with a trembling hand to touch her cheek.

  The little girl flung herself down to hug him, wrapping her frail little arms around his neck, sobbing his name. “Daddy, daddy, please, get up. I won’t disappear again, never, never…”

  “Sweet, this isn’t…your…fault. Love you. Listen to the pretty lady. She’ll take you now,” he breathed against her hair, his darkening eyes meeting Caris’ over the child’s head.

  Caris felt the madness pushing at her, the child’s terror, fear, and the guilt…oh, the guilt, bad Vay-Vay was bad and now see Daddy?

  Don’t! You can’t do this now, she told herself.

  “Damn it all, Caris, you cannot rush in like this,” Jax rasped, snarling as one man attempted to shove the veil of fear aside. I thought she had more sense than this and now I lose her—his mind, his gut, his heart, all a swirling morass of grief and fear and rage.

  Caris throttled down and focused. Sage…where are you?

  The familiar touch on his mind was at once both welcome and hated. Her voice was full of determination, focus, rage. And a summons. Caris never summoned him. She needed him—enough to reach out and touch his mind, blindly, without thinking, something that for Caris was too painful, too intense, too clear. Even his mind—he could block and filter the thoughts she could touch—was far too intense for an empath of Caris’ ability.

  Sage lifted glowing hazel eyes and met Morgan’s. “She’s calling me. And she’s in trouble. Caris never calls for me,” he said simply. Shaking his head grimly, he said bluntly, “If she didn’t need me, I’d kill you for this.”

  Morgan’s eyes narrowed and he said, “You need to be careful with what you say, Sage.”

  “Screw being careful, Morgan. And fuck you,” Sage said, stepping back. He closed his eyes and focused on Caris’ face, feeling the vortex opening up around him even as Morgan started to speak. It didn’t matter.

  Finding Caris mattered.