by Beth Rinyu
I was happy to see some small remnants of a smile stretch across her face. “Ditto,” she replied just as the waitress brought the food to the table.
I watched as she took a bite of her fry. Why did everything she did have to be so adorable? I thought back to that night when I kissed her. I knew a lot of it had to do with having a little too much wine, but as I gazed at her across the table without any alcohol in my system, I suddenly felt as if I wanted to kiss her once again.
Chapter 14
Lacey
Tiny traces of the old me were slowly creeping back with each passing day, all thanks to Quinn. We had made plans to spend Thanksgiving together. I was feeling a little guilty, hoping he didn’t make those plans with me just so I wouldn’t be alone. When he told me he was planning on using work as an excuse to not spend it with his family, I was feeling a little better. I was just finishing up with grading papers and was calling it a day before the long holiday weekend when my phone rang.
“Hey, Adam!” I answered, gathering my things and heading out the door.
“Are you still working?”
“Just walking out the door. What’s up?”
“Good, because I think I may be in the parking lot of your school.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked as I got closer to the exit with Julia now right beside me.
“Well, I was in Manhattan on business and decided to make a detour. Do you have time to grab a quick bite to eat?”
“Yeah, that’d be great! I’ll be right out.”
When I got outside, I finally spotted him leaning against his BMW.
“Wow! Who is that?” Julia asked.
“He’s a friend of mine. He was my husband’s best friend.”
“Is he single?”
“Last I checked, yes.”
“Can you please introduce me?” she begged.
“Sure,” I replied with a laugh.
“Hey, beautiful girl!” he shouted in his familiar voice. I felt a huge smile along with a surge of tears that always came along when I would see Adam. He was a bittersweet memory of Aaron. They were the best of friends, and he knew everything there was to know about him. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly
Julia cleared her throat loudly. “Oh, Adam, this is my friend, Julia.” He extended his hand to her, and she looked like she was going to melt. Adam never changed with his cute boy next door looks. Same short dark hair, same blue-green eyes, and same double dimples that most of the ladies seemed to be unable to resist. Julia was falling right into that category. I didn’t have the heart to tell her he didn’t like blondes. Instead, I watched her bat her eyelashes and continue to flirt.
“So, do you live in Boston?”
“Yeah, I was just passing through to check in on Lacey.”
“Well, it was really nice meeting you.”
She took his hand once again and shook it, staring up at him.
“You too.” He smiled politely.
“Have a nice Thanksgiving,” she said to both of us. “I’ll see ya Monday, Lacey.”
“Yup! You have a great Thanksgiving too, Julia.”
She looked up at Adam once again, giving him an extra smile before walking away. “Oh, Adam!” She stopped dead in her tracks and faced him once again.
“I didn’t get your last name.”
He looked at her strangely before answering, “Symons.”
I shook my head, knowing exactly why she was asking him. He was going to be added as her newest Facebook friend. She liked to keep up on the social media gossip circuit like she did in real life. She was always on my case to join, and I would always tell her no, but that didn’t stop her from trying.
I laughed as she walked away. “I think she may have a little crush.”
Adam chuckled, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking me over. “You look great, Lace.”
“Thanks, I’m feeling better too.”
“Good.” His hand reached up and caressed my face. “Are you even hungry? I know it’s a little early for dinner and a little late for lunch, but I’ve only got a few hours. I have to be at Logan airport by ten to catch my flight.”
“Yes, actually, I’m starving. I didn’t eat lunch…and where are you headed?”
“I’m going down to Florida to spend Thanksgiving with my parents.”
“Cool! Well, there’s a pretty good restaurant right up the street.”
“Sounds good to me.”
We decided to drive separately so Adam could leave right when we were done eating. The normal five-minute ride was more like fifteen with the holiday traffic. I was feeling really badly by the time we reached the restaurant, hoping Adam wouldn’t have to rush because of it.
“Sorry!” I said as I hopped out of my Jeep.
“For what?”
“All of the traffic.”
He let out a loud laugh. “Umm…I don’t think you had much to do with that.” He took my hand, and we walked inside.
We talked nonstop as we looked over the menu and placed our orders, finally bringing up the subject that was the biggest piece of my heart. “I’ve been thinking about him a lot, Lacey. I miss him so much.”
“Yeah, so do I.” I sucked in my bottom lip and blinked away the tears.
“So, are you liking the job and living here?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.
“Yeah, it’s not bad.”
“Well, I’ve got my feelers out for teaching jobs back home for you.”
“That’s really sweet of you, but I’m not sure if I want to go back there.”
His eyes widened. “What do you mean, Lacey? That’s your home. This was supposed to be temporary for you to clear your head.”
“I know, but…I feel like there’s nothing there for me anymore except bad memories.”
“You have a lot of good memories there too, Lace.”
“Yeah, but unfortunately the bad outweigh the good. I don’t know, I kind of like it here. I like my place. I like my job. I made some good friends.” Actually, it was just a friend, but it sounded much better pluralized.
He expelled an exhausted breath. “So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Well, I’m volunteering at a food bank, serving food in the morning.” He smiled and shook his head, knowing that was a tradition Aaron had done every Thanksgiving since he was a teenager. I followed suit once we started dating. “Then I’m cooking dinner for me and my friend.”
He nodded. “That makes me feel a little better, knowing you won’t be alone.”
“Yup, he’s a really good buddy.”
“It’s a guy?” His brows arched in surprise.
“Yeah, my neighbor. He’s really great. You guys would hit it off well with each other. He reminds me a lot of—” I stopped myself before I said it, but Quinn did remind me a lot of Aaron in some ways.
Adam raised his eyebrow, seemingly knowing with what name I was planning on filling in that blank. “Lacey, are you sleeping with this guy or something?” he accused.
“What? Adam, where did that come from? No, I am not sleeping with him. He’s been nothing but a good friend to me and that’s it.”
He shook his head and raked his hand through his hair. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt, Lacey.”
“What would make you think that? If anything, Quinn is helping me heal.”
“You told him?”
“Yeah, I did.” I stared out the window for a few seconds, gathering my thoughts. “I shot a gun, Adam. You would have been so proud of me.”
“You what?” Judging by his reaction, he was anything but proud.
“Adam, what is with you? I thought you’d be happy. I’m slowly starting to come out of this fog I’m in.”
“A gun, Lacey? How is that helping you to come out of the fog?”
“Because, I feel like…I feel like I’m not as scared anymore. I lie awake at night going over what I could have done differently that night. I felt so helpless, Adam. I watched him
die.” He looked down at the table as if my words pained him. “Then when he—”
He held up his hand to stop me. “Lacey…stop. Please.”
“It happened, Adam. As much as you or I wish it hadn’t…it did, and it’s something I have to live with every day of my life. But I realize now that I don’t have to be ashamed of it. I don’t have to fear every stranger I meet thinking it’s him. Quinn has helped me so much with that.”
“Well, then that should be all the more reason for you to come home. You’re stronger now.”
“I’m not all the way there, but I’m getting there slowly.”
He smiled, giving me a full view of those adorable lady killer dimples. “I miss you, Lacey.”
“I miss you too.” I reached over the table and took his hand.
He picked up his phone from the table and creased his eyebrows. “Julia Smyth?”
I burst into laughter. “Let me guess, she found you on Facebook?”
He nodded.
“That’s why I won’t go on that website. People you hardly even know friend requesting you. It’s just odd to me.” I watched as he hit a button and put his phone in his pocket. “Did you accept?”
He nodded and laughed. “She’s a friend of yours, so she can’t be too bad.”
Now I would have to hear all about Adam’s Facebook life from Julia while she dealt with her cyber crush that would probably last a few weeks before she moved on to the next one.
We finished eating and didn’t have much more time for talking. Adam needed to get on the road if he was going to make it back in time to catch his flight. He walked me to my Jeep and hugged my tightly. “Have a safe trip,” I whispered.
“Thanks, Lace. Have a good day tomorrow.”
“I will.”
He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek before walking off to his car. I sat in my Jeep long after Adam pulled away. I would always be grateful to him for introducing me to the love of my life, and he would always be a good friend. But he was a part of my past. A past I so desperately wanted to hang onto and at the same time so desperately forget.
***
It was only seven a.m., and I was on my way out the door to help prepare for my volunteer work at the food bank. As I sat in my Jeep, checking my email on my phone, waiting for the frost to clear off the window, I jumped at the light tap on my window. A smile quickly spread across my face upon seeing it was Quinn.
“Where are you headed to so early?” he asked as I rolled down my window.
“Oh, I’m volunteering at the food bank for a few hours. Dinner will be at five if that’s okay?”
“That’s perfectly fine. Lacey, you don’t even have to make dinner.”
“No, no, no. I want to! I love cooking for Thanksgiving. The turkey is all ready to be put in the oven, and I should be back around noon. I just like to volunteer with this every year and the woman at the Food Bank said they were very short staffed, so I really want to do it.”
“Well, did you need me to do anything?”
I shook my head and smiled. “Yeah, maybe get some sleep. You look exhausted.”
“Yeah, I am…a little. I worked all night.”
“Well, then just make sure you set your alarm to be downstairs by five.”
“No problem.” He smiled and for one brief moment I saw Aaron’s smile behind it.
“Okay, I’ll see ya later.”
He nodded and headed up to his place. I rolled up the window and stared straight ahead. Was it normal to compare him to my dead husband or was this some sick obsession I had of not wanting to let go of Aaron? It just seemed like the more I was around Quinn, the more I was beginning to see those same qualities Aaron had in him. The same ones that made me fall in love with him, the same ones I would never forget.
Chapter 15
Quinn
After a long, hot shower, I finally felt like I was mentally ready for some sleep. That was until I looked down at my phone and saw my mother calling. I had been avoiding her calls for the past week by replying with text messages. I knew her reasoning for trying to get in touch with me so desperately these last few days. Even though I lied to her and told her I had to work today, it still wasn’t good enough for her.
“Hey, Mom, what’s up?” I answered.
“Wow, you actually answered the phone? I think I may faint.”
“Yeah, well, I’m kind of busy, so what’s the matter?”
“Well, I wanted to see what time you were working until? Can you swing by your sister’s house for a little while?”
“No, I can’t. I’m working on a really big case that’s gotta be wrapped up by the weekend.” I hated lying to her, but the last thing I felt like doing was having an intervention with my family today, which I was fairly certain it would turn into.
“Quinn, what is going on with you? Sara called us last week in tears over the divorce papers you had served on her. You not only shocked her, but you surprised the hell out of me and your father. We weren’t expecting this. I thought you two were trying to work things out?”
“Mom, I’m a grown man. I know what I’m doing, and you and Dad don’t need to be involved in any of this.”
“Well, Quinn, can you at least call her and talk to her? The poor thing is beside herself. She’s been through a lot in this past year.”
I took a deep breath, reminding myself this was my mother on the other end of the phone before I answered. “She’s been through a lot, Mom? Really? I guess losing my son and having my wife cheat on me shouldn’t matter. Just Sara’s feelings should.”
“No, Quinn, I’m not saying that at all, honey. It’s just…you need to work through this together instead of taking the easy way out and running out to draw up divorce papers.”
“You know what, Mom? I have to go.”
“Quinn. Please don’t be mad. I don’t want to see you throw away everything you and Sara have together.”
“What do we have together, Mom? A house and bills? Don’t you get it? There is nothing there anymore. I don’t trust her, and I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. She never considered my feelings in this whole thing, but yet I’m supposed to be so sympathetic to hers. Should it have been easier for me to deal with because I was just his father?”
“No, Quinn. Not at all. We know you’re hurting just as badly.”
“Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ll always take her side no matter what. I’m your son, Mom…why don’t you try having my back for once?”
“Quinn! How can you even say that?” Her voice cracked with emotion.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I really have to go. Have a nice Thanksgiving.” I hung up the phone, fuming on the inside. I felt like I had no one in my corner, not even my own family. When I looked down at the text that had just come through from Lacey, reminding me to set my alarm, it dawned on me I did have someone in my corner. Someone who had known me for only a few months but seemed to have gotten me better than people I had known my entire life. If I had to find one thing to be thankful for this year, it would be for the girl who moved in downstairs from me a few months ago, the same one who with each passing day was moving slowly into my heart.
***
After tossing and turning for an hour and still being unable to fall asleep, I decided to give up and head to the Food Bank where Lacey was volunteering. I knew I would be paying the price tonight for my lack of sleep, but that phone call from my mother fired me up so badly that sleeping was the last thing on my mind. I stepped inside the community center and immediately set my eyes upon Lacey, bending over and talking to a little boy who looked to be around seven or eight years old. He was smiling widely at whatever Lacey was saying to him. Part of me wondered if she had the same effect on everyone. I waited until the boy and his mother walked away before I approached her.
“Hey, can you use some extra help?” She paused before turn
ing around with a mile wide grin stretched across her face. It was so genuine that I couldn’t help but smile in return.
“Quinn! What are you doing here? You should be sleeping.”
“Yeah, I know, but I couldn’t. So, I figured I may as well make good use of my time.” I didn’t want her to know I was really here because I felt the need to talk to her and hear her voice.
“Well, come on.” She took my hand and pulled me into the kitchen. When she said they were short-handed, she wasn’t kidding.
If I wasn’t tired enough to fall asleep when I got there, I definitely was now. We worked nonstop for three hours straight. I was definitely beat, but it was a rewarding kind of tired.
“You did good!” Lacey teased, patting me on the shoulder as we walked out to the parking lot.
“That was actually kind of fun.”
“Yeah. My husband and I used to do this every year back home. It really helps to put things into perspective and makes you realize how much we take for granted.”
“Yeah, I guess it does.”
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked once we reached our vehicles.
“Yeah, just tired.” I was tired, but she got me thinking. Next month would be one whole year that Andrew was gone, and I would give up anything to have him here today.
“Well, if you fall asleep as soon as you get home, you can get a whole four hours in before dinner.” She smiled as she looked down at her watch.
“Yeah, that sounds like a plan.” My voice wavered and my mind was a million miles away.
“Quinn, are you sure everything is okay?”
I couldn’t believe how well she could read me.
I had my hand on the door handle to my truck. “I haven’t been to his grave since he…” I turned around to face her, questioning my sanity for having this conversation in the middle of the parking lot, but it had hit me all of a sudden, and I needed to get it out.
“The baby?” She looked at me sadly.
I nodded. “I’m sorry, Lacey. I shouldn’t be blurting this out in the middle of the parking lot like this. This morning my mother…” I let out an exhausted breath.
