Still Falling

by Costa, Bella

  “You’re going to bath in your underwear?”

  Serena nodded, unable to think under his gaze.

  “Fine! Have it your way. This is going to hurt. I’m sorry!”

  He lifted her and swung her over the water and lowered her quickly into the bath.

  Owwwwww! It burns. Everywhere. Oh my god!

  His heart tore as he heard he wince and her face screwed up in pain. It would only last a few seconds as the nerve endings defrosted and got some life back. He didn’t want to cause her pain. Tears started to roll down her cheeks.

  He sat on the side of the bath, not touching her. “Why is your young boyfriend not with you?”

  “I.....don’t......have.....a.......boyfriend.” She managed through clenched teeth. The pain in the toes was the worst.

  “If you are not with him any more then why were the two of you together on the slopes this morning?”

  Please make the stinging stop!

  “That was .....Josephine’s.....baby brother. He was driving me .......when it wasn’t safe.....for me to drive. He...is here with ....Jo and the rest...of the ...family.”

  Okay so if I keep really, really still and don’t move the water, the stinging stops. Still. Very Still. Breathe.

  Marco needed to think. Something was out of place here. Serena’s eyes were still screwed shut, almost in intense concentration but the rest of her face had relaxed and her breathing was deeper.

  “Lean back.”

  Slowly, wincing a little, she obeyed, sinking down into the water until it lapped at her chin. Her cheeks looked fuller. In fact apart from being a frozen Popsicle, she was looking much healthier.

  “Serena. What exactly was wrong with you when you came home at the end of the summer?”

  Okay this is nice. I’ll just lie here for the rest of my life.

  “It was the chemo....”

  “Shit what!” he yelled, making her jump. She was just dozing off to sleep.

  God that was rude. I’m sooooooo tired.

  “Why the fuck does no body tell me anything?” He was pacing the bathroom floor now. “All that time you were so ill and there I thought you were knocked up by some high school kid.” He paused to look at her shaking his head and running his hand through his hair. He continued pacing.

  “I’m sorry sir, but I didn’t realise the private lives of the hired help and their family were of any concern of yours.” She spat.

  The comment made no sense. He had always been concerned about the well being of his staff, and he had never thought of Serena as staff. His head was reeling from the revelations of the last few minutes. A dull pain throbbed behind his eyes making him irritable. He stopped in the middle of the room and studied her face trying to decide what to do with this information. Her face was flushed and pink and her eyes burned through him as he glared back.

  “Concern....I’ll show you concern!” He growled. He lent over the bath and clasped her face in his hands, crushing her lips against her teeth. He wanted this woman so much right now that it scared him. He didn’t want this to happen in anger. Pulling away from her he stormed out of the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

  What. The. Hell. Just. Happened?

  Chapter forty one

  Tenderly Serena inspected her bruised lips with her finger tips. Her thoroughly defrosted body was alive with sensation and that kiss had warmed her up in places she hadn’t known possible. Suddenly he barged back in and strode up to the bath. He stood at the end of the bath looking down on her.

  That’s how he looks at me in that dream. The one where he walks away forever. Noooooo!

  Serena gulped and stared back, completely paralysed with fear.

  “If Josephine’s brother is not the father of your child.....who is?”

  Serena couldn’t talk. She couldn’t move. Her brain was yelling at her to tell him something. Anything. Tell him the truth. Lie to him. Just make him stop looking at her like that. But more than anything, make him stay. But still, she just lay there. Only her head showed above the bubbles. Her eyes wide, staring at his. Fear oozed from her and mingled with the heady eucalyptus still wafting in the steam. A minute went by. Then two. Slowly it dawned on him.

  “My God. The Hyatt! Is the baby mine?”

  Serena was helpless.

  “Answer me woman. Is it mine?” he yelled.

  His raised voice jolted her and she nodded her eyes red and raw with fresh tears.

  He is angry. Oh God I don’t want him to be angry.

  He stared for what seemed like an eternity. His face unreadable. A small muscle in his jaw throbbed under his left sideburn.

  Finally he expelled a long held breath and rubbed his temples. Shaking his head he left the bathroom. Quieter this time.

  I can’t deal with this. Not now. Not like this. Not here. Please.

  Serena composed herself. It was easier now that he had left the bathroom. Normally she was so strong but she just couldn’t stand up to this man. She was contemplating getting out of the bath but she felt safer in the deep water. After only a minute or two, he returned with a small pile of clothes and a towel and left them on a dresser next to the bath.

  “Get dressed. We need to talk.” He said quietly and left her alone.

  She bathed slowly, in no rush to face the storm she was sure was brewing down stairs.

  Seriously Serena. He owes you nothing and you owe him nothing. You were ready to raise this child on your own this morning. Nothing has changed. He will probably be relieved that you expected no accountability from him.

  Yup. You’re going to get a grip and deal with this like a grown up. As much as you have always wanted him, you’ve never had him and never will. Grow a pair!

  Her skin was pink and tingly from the hot water. She vigorously rubbed it dry. She looked through the pile he had left on the bench. A pair of warm hiking socks, a pair of boxer shorts, a large white T-shirt and a long knitted pull over.

  Comfy.

  She dressed quietly, the smell of Sandalwood on the soft wool of the pullover not going unnoticed. She then looked at herself in the mirror and smiled.

  Perhaps I should leave him something to remember me by!

  She rifled through the well stocked vanity unit and found a hair brush, some blush and lip gloss and a few other interesting tubs and bottles. Five minutes later she was ready.

  Chapter forty two

  He stood in front of the fire, deep in thought, a glass of Aida’s brandy taking the edge off the throbbing behind his eyes. He saw her sock clad feet first. Slender pink knees followed and then the hem of his jumper hiding the best bits of her thighs. By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, he had drained the glass. Her hair was smooth and shining and fell past her shoulders to rest on the gentle mounds of her breasts. The colour had returned to her face and her lips were full and shining and totally kissable. Marco shifted to make the erection in his tight jeans a little more comfortable. He hoped she wouldn’t notice.

  Shit. This would be easier if he wasn’t so attractive.

  She drew herself up trying to get a tall as possible and walked seductively over to the sofa. She slid into the deep cushions, draping her legs over one armrest, ankles crossed and knees slightly bent. Leaning her shoulders against the other armrest she lifted her arms and brushed both hands through her hair, freeing it to fall loosely down the side of the soft suede upholstery. The movement of her arms had shifted the hem of the Pull over up her thighs, giving Marco a tantalising peek at the edge of his boxers which encased all the parts of her he wished he could encase among other things.

  Marco watched her little show in growing astonishment. She was flirting with him!

  “You wanted to talk?” She asked, watching him through her lashes.

  He had changed his clothes and stood in front of her, both his bare feet squarely planted on the floor. His bare chest glowed darkly in the firelight. Both his hands were now tucked deeply in the pockets of dark blue cargo pants.

 
Thank god he isn’t wearing his jeans.

  “When were you going to tell me about my child?”

  He was only just managing to control his voice.

  Suddenly a little unsure of herself she placed a trembling hand over her belly.

  “My child! Is that all you wanted to talk about?”

  He looked around the room looking for inspiration, strength, controlled, something. He found nothing. Swiftly he pulled the coffee table closer to her and sat on the edge facing her.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “Doing what?” she asked moving her hand slowly from her belly to her breast. She needed to distract him from her child. She didn’t want to discuss her little person with Marco right now, or any other time for that matter. She brought one knee a little further up, allowing the flickering light of the fire, caress it gently, her finger tips brushing the top of one breast slowly.

  “Christ Serena. Stop it.” He planted his elbows on his knees, burying his head in his hands.

  “Okay.” Her hand paused. “What would you like me to do now? Tell me Marco.” It was too much for him. He dropped off the table onto his knees in front of her.

  “Is this really what you want to do?” He pleaded.

  “Yes.” She said tapping a little rhythm with her finger tips on her breast.

  God it’s great to be back in control. I had no idea.

  “Are you going to run again?”

  What?

  “Serena if you are going to run again then this can’t happen, and God you have no idea how much I want you right now. I am laying out my soul here.”

  Serena felt her control slipping again. She did want him. Badly. He looked so sincere. No matter how much he had hurt her, she didn’t have the heart to hurt him back. Sighing she sat upright in the chair, pulling the hem of the pullover over her knees.

  “I don’t want to be where I’m not wanted Marco. I can’t be a part time plaything. Useful in the sack, but unloved and despised outside of it.”

  He took one of her hands and sandwiched it between his. It was small and soft. He turned it over and ran a finger tip around her palm.

  “Serena, I know I have a reputation, thanks to Michelle and the press. But I’m not that person. I don’t do part time. At least not very well, or convincingly.”

  Unable to keep calm with his fingers causing havoc against her skin, and his close proximity, Serena scrambled off the chair, and tried to regain her composure in front of the fire.

  “Marco you hurt me very badly once. I know how you really feel about me so there is no point in trying to beg your way into my pants again. Er your pants.” She said remembering the boxers she was wearing.

  This is pointless and not going to plan.

  Her eyes were brimming with tears again.

  Marco stood behind her. She could feel the warmth of his body even though they weren’t touching. It was electrifying.

  “You’re going to have to explain how I hurt you, because I don’t think I was there at the time.” He whispered against her neck as he drew the lobe of her ear gently into his mouth. She sucked in an uneven breath. Gently with one finger he swept her hair from her neck. His warm breath caressed her neck and unwittingly her head tilted giving him better access.

  Serena was no longer capable of reasonable thought. She couldn’t think of a single reason why his touch would be wrong or why giving into it would be so bad. She leaned back against him. His lips trailed down her neck, excruciatingly slowly. When he stopped and lifted his head Serena missed his touch so much she was sure she was going to die.

  Chapter forty three

  Gently he turned her to face him. She inhaled Sandalwood and her eyes closed to savour the fragrance. To lock it’s essence in her memory. With one finger under her chin he raised her face to meet his. His lips were warm and soft and gentle. Very gentle. She felt his finger move from her chin along her jaw to her ear and the whole hand joined in the caress. His long fingers threaded through her hair while his thumb gently brushed a tear from the corner of her eyes. His lips moved slowly on hers. Coaxing them. Soothing them. Willing them to surrender. Assuring her it would be alright. She held out the white flag and let him in. Her hands found the smooth surface of his ribs and moved to the firm spread of his back. As his tongue found hers and made proper introductions, the junction at the root of her thighs exploded with heat. Her knees quivered as his kiss deepened and then stopped. Her eyes flew open to find his gazing into hers with longing.

  Is he actually asking my permission?

  Serena pulled his body closer, still gazing into his eyes, willing him to understand as she pressed her hips into his, feeling his erection through the thick fabric of his trousers. She needed to get closer. She lifted one leg, curling it around his hip and pushed herself up on her remaining toes. Her hips had tilted now allowing her to feel the full length of his erection right where it matters the most. Marco slid his hand from her face, letting his fingers flit down her back to cup the gentle curve of her buttock. It paused briefly to give it a slight squeeze before letting it run along her thigh to hold it in place against his hip. Their gaze still unwavering. “Don’t run” he whispered.

  “Don’t make me.” she whispered back.

  Sweeping his hand back up her thigh and over her hip, he swept the T-shirt and pullover up her body as one, his other hand joining forces to help. Planting both her feet on the floor again Serena let him go and raised her arms above her head. Following her lead he swept the offending garments over her head and dropped them on the floor. She stood calmly and allowed him to study her almost naked form. His gaze took in each handful of her rounded breasts, the pert nipples standing to attention, awaiting instructions. His gaze moved slowly south, resting on the very small, almost imperceptible mound cradled snugly in the confine of her pelvis.

  In wonder he knelt down in front of her. Pulling her closer grazed the small bump tenderly with his lips and gazed up at her face again. Her expression was unreadable, but she didn’t move. Slowly he trailed a line of kisses along the elastic of his boxers. Gently he tugged the cotton down, caressing her legs in its wake. Leaning back on his knees he studied his creation in the soft light of the fire. She now stood before him totally naked like his very own personal roman goddess.

  Serena was completely lost to all thought processes. Her exposed naked skin was alive. Hot and cold, tingling and numb. Damp boiled within her, lathering her in expectation while desire course through her veins like hot lead.

  Help!

  Marco stood and pulled her to him. He drew her arms around his neck.

  “Hold tight” He whispered. He scooped her up, wrapping both naked legs around his hips.

  “I don’t want to have to pull lesbians off your beautiful body in the morning” he nuzzled into her neck. Quickly and quietly he carried her up the rustic wooden stairs for the second time that night.

  He closed the door of the bedroom and clicked his fingers once. Both bedside lights came on and spread a soft muted glow over the king size centrepiece in the room.

  Reluctantly he allowed her to slide to the floor. She gazed up at his face, desire clear and burning in her eyes. Feeling brave now, Serena trailed her fingers from their grasp in his hair, along his neck and down his chest, moving back slightly to give her hand room to roam. Her caress built up a burning inferno in his blood as her fingers found the dark line of hair running south. Finally they found his pants.

  With surprisingly calm fingers, Serena undid his metal button and lowered the zip. With a gentle nudge off is hips the baggy trousers fell to the floor.

  Mmmmm No boxers. He is perfect from head to toe. If desire can kill, I’m definitely terminal!

  For a long while the naked lovers stood facing each other, just centimetres apart. Looking but not touching. Eventually it was too much for Serena. She stepped forward into his arms, wrapping her own around his neck and pulling him down to her mouth. They kissed with an urgency neither of them had ever felt bef
ore and in one swift move, he drew her down onto the bed. Nuzzling her breasts, his mouth found one taut nipple and drew it into his mouth biting gently. Serena sucked the air in through her teeth and her back arched in desperation. One strong hand stroked gentle circles along the inside of a pale thigh, softly, heading closer and closer.

  Oh God yes there!

  A lone finger entered her slowly, twisting and turning and moving in an out like a dancer.

  “Serena you are so sweet and wet.” He mumbled as he moved to her other breast. Serena needed more. Now. She couldn’t take much more. She wanted him now.

  “Marco please.” She pleaded.

  With exquisite gentleness his thumb joined in the dance, massaging that sweet spot just north.

  “Oh God please come with me.”

  Marco drew his finger from her and she watched as he sucked the moisture off slowly. Then with extraordinary care he hovered above her and entered her, holding himself just in the entrance. Serena pushed her hips up to meet him, all the fibres of her body honed and needing one thing. Release.

  “I....won’t.....break!” she panted.

  Marco pushed himself deep into her body, relishing the warm moist protection her private space offered him and they began to move together.

  Serena savoured the feel of his body above hers, his strength, and his need. He filled her body now in a way she had never been filled before. She rocked her hips in time to his, matching his rhythm perfectly and little sparks started to ignite deep within her starting a chain reaction. More and more sparks scintillated around her. In her. The final explosive spark shattered her mind, taking him with her. They lay in a heap. Both bodies covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Both breathing heavily. Finally Marco lifted his body off of hers and rested on his side, his head on raised on one hand.

  “Serena, I have never been this afraid in all my life.” She could see it in his eyes. She knew him so well.

  Serena studied the tired lines that she hadn’t noticed before. There were dark smudges under his eyes as well.