by Shey Stahl
When I met Aiden Gomez, I had no idea he was borderline insane but what spotter isn’t? I also became aware very early on that he was physically incapable of deciding on anything. Simple tasks like what he might have for breakfast took him a good thirty minute some days. Drove me insane but it also provided me with entertainment when we traveled. I’d instigate it by adding fuel to his internal debates. When he’d ask what I thought, I’d answer him with a question, he hated that.
This was why he’s only twenty-three and already has an ulcer. He can’t make a decision to save his fucking life.
The bottom line was, when you’re on the road as much as we are...you need the entertainment where you can get it and we got it with Aiden.
In addition to my instigating, I convinced him to do things that would ordinarily piss most people off but he usually did it without question. This provided Spencer and I with ample amounts of entertainment. It’d usually start with Aiden saying something along the lines of, “I don’t want to piss anyone off.”
Then I’d say, “Let me worry about pissing people off.”
He’d smile and say. “You’re off to a great start.”
The thing with Aiden was even though he was borderline insane, had an ulcer, and couldn’t commit to so much as what kind of eggs he would like and didn’t want to piss anyone off; he was exactly what our team needed. If not because we did needed a spotter but for entertainment purposes. I wasn’t exactly thrilled he was dating my sister but regardless, they made it known that wasn’t up to me.
“All right bud, watch your shifts. You’re coming to the green this time by.” Kyle announced as I led the field down to the green.
I got such a rush of adrenaline behind the wheel; it really was an indescribable feeling. And it’s not a feeling I’ve felt anywhere other than in a race car. For me, there was just something about being behind the wheel of an eight hundred horsepower car that gave me power. A power I had nowhere else but behind the wheel. It was addicting to say the least.
About forty laps into the race, the track was changing fast. I had no front grip and was currently using Cole through the curves not to hit the wall or slide into the sand pits. His car was fast and I doubted he wanted to be in battling for third with me but Cole was the best teammate a driver could ask for.
“I’m slippin’ all over the place, I can’t keep it straight.” I told at Kyle. “We need to make a change.”
“Other than the slipping, do you feel anything else?” Kyle asked. “Any adjustments you want made?”
“I don’t know what’s going to help. It’s hot out here, the tires just slip. There’s no grip anywhere.” I was sweating like a motherfucker in the car and all I could think about was Sway and the way she looked at me when she saw Chelsea walking away from my car.
How many more times am I going to break that woman’s heart?
My distractions engulfed me as I went into turn two around the half way mark.
I tried to correct it but ended up fishtailing and slammed into the outside wall coming out of two.
“Goddamn it, son of a bitch! Let’s just add one more fucking thing to add to my already fucked up day!” I hollered.
“Heavy damage to right rear quarter panel,” Aiden announced.
Limping my way back around to the pits, the guys assessed everything. “Something broke on the rear.” I told them.
“Sway bar,” Mason said. “Gentry, grab a new link. Shane, check out the lower control arm.”
“Uppers bent into the header.” Shane said. “Lower broke off completely.”
“Take it to the truck.” Kyle said brusquely. “There’s no time to fix it.”
He caught an untold amount of heat from Jimi and Simplex when we didn’t finish well.
I can’t wait for tomorrow to explain this one.
Every Monday, we had a team meeting to discuss the race with management (my dad and uncle Randy). It wasn’t exactly the highlight of my week when we didn’t place well, nor was it for Kyle.
Loosening my belts, I started throwing shit around the inside of the car, ripping hoses away, anything to make me feel better and let’s face it, when I was pissed I threw things, I never grew out of the terrible two’s.
I was fucking livid by the time I pulled the car in front of the truck. Most of the crew was already there with the same dejected look they always had when we didn’t finish well
How much worse can one day get, really?
I didn’t make eye contact with anyone when I got out. I was vaguely aware of the fact that Sway was leaned against the side of the hauler as I slammed the door shut.
Reaching for anything I could get my hands on and throwing it against the wall. Not only had I single handedly wrecked a race car that could have been salvaged with a few minor adjustments. I got news, that Charlie only has around six months to live, and I will soon be the owner of a racetrack. But the motherfucking cake topper of it all—I told Sway I loved her and then broke her heart, on purpose.
You deserve a metal for the biggest Jackass of the year.
Sliding back against the wall, I was ready to vomit any second when Sway stepped inside.
“Jameson?” her shaky voice was timid.
“You shouldn’t be in here right now, Sway.” I warned. And though I’d never hurt her physically, I didn’t want her to see me like this. As it was, she’d bared the burden of my temper enough.
Of course, she didn’t listen, why would she? Sway does what she wants, and when it comes to me, she’ll do anything, I knew that.
Sitting there in silence beside her, I was moments away from telling her that I couldn’t do any of this without her and I needed to be there when Charlie talked to her. I would literally walk away from all this just for her. But would that really be what she wanted, or needed?
“Jameson?”
I looked up to see Chelsea standing at the door.
She smiled at me and the bile returned. “Are you ready?”
Oh god, what if Sway thinks I’m going with her because I want her?
I couldn’t tell her why I was going with her. If she knew about the transfer, she’d know something was wrong with Charlie.
“I’ll be...there in a minute.” I quickly said to avoid telling Sway anything.
My eyes focused on Sway’s, wide with pain. I looked away unnerved by the fact that I’d once again broke another piece of her heart.
Would there be anything left soon?
Throwing the piston in my hand at Chelsea was moments away from happening as I tossed the cool metal back in forth. It was tempting.
“I’ll be waiting.” Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard.
“I’ll let you get to...that.” Sway choked out when the door shut.
And the heart attack feeling returned once again. I swallowed over the lump in my throat, trying not to vomit. My entire body was now shaking...I was a fucking mess over this woman.
My heart broke when I saw tears in her eyes. I held my breath waiting for her response, hoping it wouldn’t be full of the hate I really deserved.
Sway started to get up—unconsciously I reached for her hand.
“Sway,” my voice was failing me. “Don’t go, please.” I begged. I wanted her to look at me, maybe then she’d see that I didn’t want Chelsea but she refused, making a vital effort not to see me.
“Why?” her shoulders shrugged. “Why should I stay?”
“I...don’t want you to go.” I admitted. “Not like this.”
She let go of my hand and leaned against the counter, her back still to me. “Why, Jameson?”
I have a temper, that’s no lie, but when it comes to Sway, and letting her go...I knew no bounds. I lost all bearing and threw the piston towards the wall.
“Fuck Sway,” I tried to control my voice and keep from yelling at her, but it was useless at that point. “What do you want me to say? Just fucking tell me what you want to hear and I’ll say it. I’ll say whatever you want me to!”
In that momen
t, that’s what you choose to say? Fucking idiot.
“That’s the problem, Jameson. I shouldn’t have to tell you.” She sobbed and walked out.
My terrible twenty-two’s shined. I reached for anything within reach and smashed it. When I ran out of things to throw, I destroyed the cabinets, computers...anything I could. Knowing it was wrong, I tried to stop myself but I couldn’t.
Nothing made sense to me. Why did it have to be this way? Why can’t she have everything she’s ever wanted? Why can’t she have her parents? Why can’t she have me?
Those were the constant questions I asked myself. And the most important, why couldn’t I have the dream and the girl.
I struggled with this for a long time after Charlie had told me but why her? Why Sway, and why did I have to fall in love with her and complicate her life even more? Why couldn’t we have just been friends?
The problem was, for two people like Sway and me, the bond couldn’t be just friends. The intensity was so strong it wouldn’t be fair to be with someone else. There was absolutely no way either one of us could have given ourselves to someone else entirely. No matter what we did, there would always be a part of both of us that belonged to the other.
I fell back against the wall, my own sobs over took me. I never cried but this...what I did to Sway, drove me to complete hysteria. I was a blubbering fucking mess on the floor. I wasn’t sure if they were tears of sadness or tears of frustration. Either way, I was feeling both emotions so strongly in that moment it was hard to decipher which was stronger.
My eyes were red; my face pale, my hands bleeding and my heart was broken as I made my way over to Tate’s hauler. Chelsea was there waiting, she had changed into a short black dress with matching heels that made me want to vomit again.
“Finally,” she huffed standing. “What took so long?”
“Where’s the paperwork?” I asked petulantly burying my hands in my pockets.
“Follow me,” biting down on her bottom lip, she motioned with her finger as she strutted away.
“No, no, no,” I shook my head refusing to move towards her. “You said you had paper work for me. I’m not leaving with you.”
She laughed bitterly. “You either follow me, or you don’t get the paperwork. I know you need that paperwork.” She smiled iniquitously. “So I suggest you follow me.”
I tensed, my jaw clenched tightly. I needed that title transfer. If I didn’t get it from her, I’d have to fly to Elma and get it from Charlie—which wasn’t really an option since I needed to be in North Dakota tomorrow for a meeting with Simplex to discuss sponsorship for my sprint car team.
I sighed heavily following her. “Fine,”
Once we got to the car, I looked around hesitantly. You know that feeling you get when something is wrong?
I was getting that one, with a big flashing sign, telling me this was a trap.
“Where are we going?” I asked when the car started moving.
Some overly large dude was driving, so there I sat in the back seat pressed up against the door because I refused to get any closer to her than I already was.
She just smiled without answering.
I was so fucked.
“I got what I wanted.” She crooned softly crossing her legs in my direction when the car stopped in an open field. “Now, how about we catch up?”
A quick look around confirmed no one in sight, just an open field with dead grass and a few abandoned barns in the near distance. “Where the hell are we?”
She shrugged with a smile. “I just wanted to be alone with you.” She answered with another seductive smile. “You know you want me, Jameson.”
I started coughing and choking before I stopped abruptly, glaring at her. “Sorry, I was just choking on some bile.” I told her with a smug smile of my own.
“Oh don’t be like that.” Chelsea moved closer.
I reached for the door handle while the driver locked it. “You can either play nice...or I’ll have Peter there,” she motioned to the driver. “help me detain you.”
She was practically on top of me now. “Get off me!” I snarled each word distinctively pushing against her.
She pushed forward, pressing her chest in my face. “I only want to play.”
Yet again, I lost it reaching for her upper arms. “I mean it Chelsea—get the fuck off me before I throw you off.”
She glowered for a moment; a sinful smile grazed her lips. “Have it your way, I got what I wanted.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Sway, she believes that you left with me.”
“What?”
“Darrin told her we left together...” her voice trailed off. “It’s exactly what I wanted.”
My heart was pounding in my chest with anger, and not just anger but out right rage as I processed what she said.
“You see Jameson, I have a plan.” Chelsea intoned. “I want you back and I’ll stop at nothing to do so. You were meant to be with me...so if your precious Sway gets in the way...I can’t say that she won’t get hurt.” She let out a dark laugh. “It’s a pity she won’t have any family left after Charlie’s gone, she’s going need it.”
I suddenly felt the rage boiling inside me. I was absolutely furious that she deceived me but more importantly, she let Sway believe a lie. Not that I hadn’t already lied to her but Christ she’s been through enough already.
The adrenaline coursed through me, burning like acid, begging for release.
I responded just as I always did.
Within a second, I had my forearm pressed to her throat; her body was constrained against the seat while I hovered over her. “Whatever you have planned you deceitful fucking bitch, it will not work.”
“It’s already worked.” She strained. I had my arm pressed so tightly to her throat she could barely breathe at that point. “She thinks we left together. That’s all I wanted. I can’t say the same for Darrin and Mariah but I only wanted you in all this. I wanted you back.”
“You’ll never have me.” I growled back jerking her forward as though I was going to kiss her; just before my lips touched hers, I slammed her back against the seat. “You never had me in the first place.” I insinuated.
The Vin Diesel fucker in the front seat pulled me backwards with little effort and threw me to the dirt ground. I didn’t try to get up; the dude was big as fuck and could kill me in seconds if he wanted, I was sure of that and wasn’t willing to test the theory.
Chelsea stepped out of the car approaching me, the rocks in the dirt crunched beneath heels. Kneeling beside me, her voice was sharp and vengeful. “It’s a shame you can’t see we were meant to be together.” She breathed. “You’ll see.” Rising, she strutted back in the car.
So there I sat, in the middle of the desert, waiting for something to pick up their goddamn cell phone to come get me. I started walking back towards the track, well I thought I was, I couldn’t be sure though. I had no idea what direction it was.
I dialed Spencer, Aiden, Tommy, Alley, Kyle and then resorted to calling Ethan, Harry Sampson’s crazy kid who bought lawn mower spark plugs for my race car one time.
Thankfully, he picked up. “Dude, where in the hell are you?”
“Disney land,” I answered. “come get me.”
He was quiet for a moment, probably trying to decipher if I was lying or not. “How’d you get to Disney land?” he stammered.
And to think I hired him.
“Ethan, I’m not at Disney land.” I snapped. “I’m in the middle of nowhere...I think I’m on Tolay Creek Road though.” Searching my surroundings, I saw street sign ahead and began walking towards it.
“How did you get out there?” Ethan was still confused, which wasn’t all that surprising. After all, he did think lawn mower spark plugs would be fine for hundred thousand dollar race engine. “Your car is still at the track.”
“Ethan,” I sighed. “Just come get me. I have to get to Elma tonight.”
Another hour later,
he finally picked me up and headed to Sonoma Sky Park where the jet was waiting.
Ethan tried asking what happened but I just ignored him.
I had to figure out a way to get that title transfer without Sway knowing or at least before Charlie told her. Sway wouldn’t want me to take on such a huge responsibility of track ownership but if it were already done...she wouldn’t have a say. I also had to figure out a way to get her back and find out what in the hell Darrin, Mariah and Chelsea were up. Oh and I had to run a sprint car team, be the NASCAR Rookie of the year like everyone expected me to be with racing in my blood.
To say I had a lot on my plate right now, was an understatement of the fucking millennium.
Even with all of this, all I thought about was Sway. I knew I was wrong to lead her on the way I did but I had to know if she felt the same way about me. And when she told me she did, I freaked out because the last thing I wanted was her to feel the same way...it made it that much harder to end it.
I realize I made no sense at all and that I fucked things up beyond belief but that seemed to be the only thing I was capable of doing.
Sway always implied she was crazy and irrational but I was just as crazy and irrational as she was, we were perfect for each other.
When we got to the airport, I noticed a patrol car parked beside the jet and knew it couldn’t be good.
“What did you do?” Ethan asked motioning toward the police car. Two officers were now standing threateningly beside their cruiser when I got out.
“Nothing,” I mumbled and trekked towards the jet.
“Mr. Riley?” a shorter, blonde haired officer asked.
“Yes,” I answered adjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder.
He stepped forward reaching for my hands. “You’re under arrested for sexual assault of Chelsea Adams.”
I laughed manically shaking my head. “You have to be fucking kidding me?”
Spencer and Aiden made their way over when they saw the officers put the handcuffs on me.
“I’m afraid not sir.” He answered adjusting the cuffs. “She’s been admitted to the Sonoma Valley Hospital.”
What the fuck?
“Dude!” Spencer yelled. “What did you do?”
