Chance (Rusted and Reckless Book 1)

by Charlotte Casey

  *****

  The days passed and Greer put on a happy face as guilt ate away at him. On one of their rare few days off he went back home. Being a Momma’s boy, he figured some family time would help. It didn’t. Jamie had left rehab. Although they were sticking to the plan of no contact, his family was mourning the loss of a son. Greer had no patience for it and went home.

  Jason found him in his studio at the baby grand piano. It had been his grandmother’s and was the first instrument he had learned to play as a kid. The song he played now was slow and sad but beautiful. He had played it for a concert when he was twelve and had long forgotten the name of it but the notes stuck with him.

  When he noticed Jason, Greer stopped playing.

  “I stopped by your parents’ house. They are in rough shape over Jamie,” he began.

  “No surprise there, right?”

  Jason grunted.

  “You tell Aveline?”

  Greer laughed. He hadn’t talked to her in days. Didn’t deserve to. She broke up with him as she should have. Hell, he had been questioning in those hours after she had flown home why she was with him. His wants were put before her responsibilities and that had cost them both. “You know I haven’t,” he said a bit annoyed.

  “You should.” Jason sat on the couch behind him so Greer had to swing around on the bench just to look at him.

  “I shouldn’t. We’re done, dude. So just drop it.”

  Jason pursed his lips together and shook his head. “I don’t see it that way. Aveline was hurt, not by you or anyone else but by an act of god. She had to strike out at someone and you were handy.”

  Greer had heard it all before. Had tried to convince himself of the same thing but each time he rounded back to guilt. The fact was that he thought he could snatch her up and pay a nurse to watch over her mom. But he had never considered what would happen if something serious went wrong when she wasn’t there. Because he only considered his feelings, his need for Aveline. Greer was selfish and that had cost her.

  “It’s over. For real this time. We will both have no contact and eventually we’ll move on.”

  “But man, this is University Girl,” Jason exclaimed like that was reason enough. “She’s your match. Your future. I’ve never seen you act like this over anyone, ever. If you aren’t going to fight for her then maybe you are right, maybe you should just pussy out and let her go because you don’t deserve someone you won’t fight for.”

  Greer couldn’t look at his friend. He was right, he had never acted like this with anyone before. It was always easy lays and one night stands. Getting close to someone took risk and with their growing profiles in the music industry, it was hard to find those he could trust, those who saw him and not just the musician. Aveline had been both. She had wormed her way into his life with a simple crack about stalking her. She was genuine and honest and one of the most beautiful people he had ever known. It was his selfishness that put them in this spot. It showed him that he wasn’t as ready to have something serious as he had thought.

  “Talk to me man,” Jason pleaded. Greer looked up to see him worrying over him.

  If there was anyone who he could bare his soul to, it was Jason.

  “I want to fight for her and that scares me. If anything came from this experience, it’s that I am not ready to be in a relationship. So if I fight, I’m going to only bring her pain. I need to work on myself first but then it may be too late.”

  “What makes you think that you are not ready for something steady? You guys were great together. I’ve never seen you so attentive or caring for a girl before. She made your caveman come out, you know she’s a keeper when she does that.”

  Greer leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “I took her from where she was needed and I did so knowing that there was someone else who needed her more than I did.”

  Jason rolled his eyes. “Really? That’s your argument. She is a grown woman. If she didn’t want to go or thought her mom was in too bad of shape to leave, then she wouldn’t have gone. From what this sounds like, it was sudden. Look, loving someone isn’t easy but there is also no rule book as to when you are ready. If you love her then fight for her. If you don’t want to fight, then it’s not love. If you can love her at her worse, when she is pushing you away then you are good. Because loving someone at their worst, when they are being hard to love, when they don’t want that love isn’t easy, but it’s not supposed to be. If it were easy then it wouldn’t be worth it. Is Aveline worth it, Greer?”

  He knew everything Jason had said was one hundred percent truth. “Stop using logic on me,” Greer muttered. “When the hell did you become a love doctor? Shit man that was deep.”

  Jason shrugged.

  The bench he sat on vibrated as his phone received a text. His heart sank as he read the sender. “It’s Rob.” Greer picked up his phone, not wanting to read the message but tapping on it anyway.

  “Aveline’s mother passed away today after going off life support. I’m making funeral arrangements and will reach out when they are finalized. Just thought you should know.”

  “Fuck,” Jason cursed. “Poor Aveline.”

  All Greer could do was nod in agreement. He knew that she would have been the one to make that call and it would have killed her to do so. He wished he could be there for her. Wished he could be her rock, her protector. Wished he could take some of that burden out of her hands. But he wasn’t. She didn’t want him there. He was just a cruel reminder of time she could have been with her mother.

  Greer sent back a quick response to Rob thanking him for thinking about him. Greer would send flowers. It was the least he could do. Maybe set up a week of meals to be delivered or a massage for Aveline and Rob. That guy deserved some credit. He did a lot for Aveline.

  “Wanna jam?” Jason asked after Greer put his phone away.

  He nodded. At that moment, nothing sounded better.

  *****

  “Hi I need to pick out flowers for a funeral,” Aveline said to the woman behind the counter. A pitying smile came across her face as she pulled out a binder.

  “There’s a table to the left where you can sit. Take your time looking and let me know if you have any questions.”

  Aveline did as she was told and went to the table to the left. It was in a small sunny alcove. She welcomed the isolation. All day it had been picking things out. Decisions left and right. What casket? What will she wear? What do you want her obituary to say? Don’t these people know that all she wanted to do was be at home deciding what flavor ice cream to eat?

  She had never known how hard funeral planning would be. Rob was helping but there was so much to do that he couldn’t bear it all. So they split tasks. Flower arrangements being her last for the day. In three days, she would be saying goodbye to her mother for good.

  Which sounded stupid.

  Aveline had already said goodbye. This was just busy work.

  She flipped through laminated pages wondering if they had them laminated because the people looking at them were likely to break out in tears. How many people before her did this very same thing? Did they cringe at the prices too? Everything seemed so damn expensive. She knew that wasn’t the point of the matter but it was a waste of money. So the box her mother’s body would decompose in would be covered in flowers that would begin to wither and die as well. What was the point of that?

  God, she was so cynical.

  When she brought these concerns up to Rob that morning he just patted her on the head and told her to do it anyway. Apparently, this was her coping mechanism.

  She wished she had some help at this. Someone who could lighten the day. She flipped the next page almost tearing it in half. Because dealing with death wasn’t enough, she was dealing with guilt and a broken heart as well.

  It was a wonder that she was functioning at all.

  Damn her strong will.

  Greer hadn’t contacted her at all but why should he? She basically told him that her mother�
�s death was his fault. How do you come back from that?

  Answer: you don’t.

  She didn’t want to think of him. She didn’t want to be reminded of him at every turn. All she wanted was to mourn in what little peace she could find. But he was there, on her mind and in her heart. A heart ridden with so much guilt for what she had done. Tossing blame on another for her faults was not who her mother raised her to be. He deserved an apology, if nothing else. Aveline wasn’t sure she had anything else to give. She was empty inside.

  Reaching out would only give him hope, though. Hope for something they had tried and failed at.

  But had they? Did they fail or had she?

  “Find anything you like?” the woman asked, peeking her head into her little alcove.

  “Um,” Aveline looked down at the page she was on. Green and white something or others. She had to pick something, might as well be this. “This one.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Aveline sat in her designated seat, waiting for the service to begin. If she stood then people bothered her. She was safer sitting and staring at the box that would contain her mother for eternity. Rob, bless him, was fielding people away from her.

  More people had shown up than she expected. News had traveled and her mother’s old friends, coworkers and some extended family came. It was nice that they all were here but she would rather it had just been her. Then she could just get it over with and go home.

  It was a closed casket for no other reason than Aveline hated to look at the dead. She couldn’t control much in this situation, but her last memory of her mom would not be her corpse.

  Three people passed in front of her, blocking her view of the casket. They sat down beside her as an arm came to rest across her shoulders. Aveline looked up to see who dared disturb the poor daughter of the dead to find Jason, Sawyer and Rory surrounding her in their Sunday best.

  Her heart broke open.

  A tear ran down her cheek and then another. These guys were too much. They had come for her. She sniffled, trying to hold back. She had a whole service to get through. Jason saw her struggle and gave her a place to hide by pulling her head to his shoulder. She held on, thankful for the support but knowing that the chest she held on to was wrong. It wasn’t the one she wanted.

  “Shhhhhh. It’s ok Ava,” he said rubbing a hand over her back.

  She had a tight hold on her emotions and pulled the reigns in hard to stop the coming storm. She pushed back from Jason and ran the back of her hands under her eyes. She had skipped the makeup this morning for just this reason.

  “Why are you here?” she asked, her voice shaking.

  “Where else would we be?” Sawyer asked.

  “Is…” Aveline looked around but didn’t see Greer. She felt foolish for even thinking that he would come. But they were here so maybe he was. The conflict of needing him there but not deserving his presence was a growing battle.

  Jason pulled her focus back on him by turning her chin. “Do you want Greer to be here?”

  “I…uh…” She had a choice? Was he here or not? Why did she have to decide?

  Before she could make up her mind, the pastor stepped in front. “If everyone would please take your seats, we are ready to begin.”

  “After then,” Jason whispered in her ear. Their eyes met and it felt like he was seeing right through her. With a hand on her neck he pulled her down and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t worry about it now.” She nodded still not sure if that’s what she wanted or not.

  The guys didn’t leave her. They stayed around her the whole service. Jason with his arm over her shoulders, Sawyer holding her hand, and Rory protecting her back and effectively creating a fortress around her. She felt safe and strong.

  When the ceremony ended and people began to disperse, each of the boys gave her a hug. “Is there a reception or anything?” Rory asked.

  “No. Rob and I planned to just go to a bar and get drunk.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Rory decided.

  “There’s a pub over on second,” Rob said coming over to them. He gave her a squeeze. “We’ll meet you over there.”

  Jason had been keeping his distance but came to her now and leaned down to her ear. “Greer will be there. He was staying back for the funeral because he didn’t want to intrude. From what I can see his presence would be welcome, right?”

  Aveline pursed her lips. She had just buried her mother, at this point she just didn’t care anymore. “Yes,” she answered.

  “Good. We’ll see you over there.”

  *****

  It was hard to stay in the car and watch Jason and the guys comfort Aveline. She was putting on such a brave face but he saw right through it. The smile she wore was practically plastered on her face. When no one was talking to her for longer than a minute her eyes would glaze over and her lower lip would drop. All the muscles in her face just seemed to go slack until someone caught her attention and that fake smile came back.

  For the last ten minutes he debated whether to get out of the car or not. The plan was to have the guys go feel out the situation and report back. So far he hadn’t heard anything.

  As Aveline rested her head on Jason’s shoulder he found not a jealous bone in his body. If it couldn’t be him, he was glad it was Jason that she turned to for comfort. He was a good rock. He’d hold her up in Greer’s absence. It wasn’t ideal, Greer’s shoulder would have been better, but it was the best he could hope for.

  Greer looked at his phone again, willing news from one of them. The whole thing was a shitty situation, which is why they decided to go about it this way. Greer didn’t want to intrude on her grief and thought it best to stay behind but he knew he had to be here for her just in case. Nothing could have kept him away. Even without the guys, he would have come for her.

  His phone began to buzz. “Finally,” he muttered and answered without looking.

  “Yeah?”

  “Greer?” came Jamie’s shaken voice. Greer had to pull back the phone to look at his caller ID. Unknown number. Fuck. He didn’t have time for this shit.

  “Jamie, I told you if you left rehab that I never wanted to talk to you again. You left so goodbye.”

  “I know,” his brother said, rushed. “But I’m in a bind. It’s tight.”

  Greer closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the seat rest. Fuck this. “They always are, Jamie. But you are on your own now.”

  “I’m not asking for money or nuthin’. I just need a ride. I’m ready to do it this time. I’m ready to go to rehab.”

  He hated this. Hated that he had become so hardened toward his brother but how many times had he been fucked over in the past? Jamie was untrustworthy but damn if the fear in his voice didn’t cut straight though Greer. “Why now?”

  “I think I just hit rock bottom. I can’t explain right now. Please, Greer. I want this. I want to get help. I don’t want to be this… this person anymore.”

  If it weren’t for that thread of fear in his voice, Greer would hang up now and not think twice. Jamie was scared. Well and truly scared.

  “It’s just a ride.”

  “I’ll send a car.”

  “No!” Jamie yelled. “No, G. Please. Can it be you?”

  “Fuck,” he said and rubbed a hand down his face. Responsibilities. Aveline had ignored hers and here she sat at her mother’s funeral. As much as he hated to admit it, Jamie was his responsibility. “Where are you?”

  Turned out he was only an hour away which was a miracle since he would have been four hours away if he were at home right now. Greer shot off a text to the guys explaining where he went. He wanted to know where they would be after so he could meet up with them.

  Greer took the car, kicking himself the entire way. Didn’t he just tell his parents not to do this very thing? Jamie was a liar. This ride was probably a trip to a shitty hotel where he could buy and shoot up. No way in hell was it to go back to rehab. He should turn around. Sawyer had already called and texted hi
m, telling him to do just that but that fear just killed him. Jamie had never sounded like that.

  The address was in a shitty part of some small town. He’d never heard of it. Just one of those places you drove through to get to where you were going. To make things even better, the address was a junkyard. Greer cursed and shook his head. Next time he was giving the phone to Sawyer. Fuck this.

  Jamie waved him down. His brother looked different from the last time he saw him. He had cut his hair short, more like Greer’s and had gained a little bit more weight. They hadn’t looked this identical since middle school.

  “Get in,” he said through the open window.

  “Can you help me grab my stuff?” Jamie asked. Greer could see he was high. His pupils were like black holes.

  “Fine.” He parked and got out of the car. Jamie smiled. There was something wrong with the look. It wasn’t a happy smile but triumphant, like getting Greer here was some sort of feat. Well, it was. After all, Greer was the one to lay down the rules for rehab and here he was breaking them.

  “Where’s your shit?”

  “Over here.” Jamie led the way. They walked around one pile of crap and then another. Jamie kept the pace fast but Greer kept up. Finally they turned a corner to find a duffel bag and a backpack. Unfortunately, there were four men there as well.

  “I told you he’d come,” Jamie said. “Now do you see you have the wrong guy?”

  Greer wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. “Jamie, what the fuck is this?”

  His brother shook his head. “You have to stop, Jamie. The gig is up. You need to stop running around pretending to be me and answer for your debts.”

  Jamie had lost his mind. “Pretending to do what? What the hell is going on Jamie?”

  “I’m sorry for my brother,” Jamie said to the men. “He’s always wished to be me and since we are twins he tends to take it to the extreme.”

  “Yeah, I don’t care. If he can pay then he can walk. You gotta go though.” One of the men said. Jamie’s mouth twitched holding back a smile.