Chance (Rusted and Reckless Book 1)

by Charlotte Casey

  “Of course I am,” he said with his normal flare. “I’d go with the irises and red roses. The colors pop and it's not too cheesy.” He handed her laptop back.

  Aveline found the arrangement he was speaking of and agreed. It was pretty and vibrant and bold. If she couldn’t talk to him herself just yet, then she’d have to let the flowers talk for her.

  Rob left her to write the message but not before helping her pick out the vase and flower upgrade to the “deluxe” arrangement. The thing was going to be huge and so was her bill. In another life she would never have dreamed of spending so much on flowers that were going to die in a week but as Rob said earlier, she didn’t have the expenses that she once did.

  She had five hundred characters to express everything she needed to in the card. After countless attempts at trimming down her thoughts Aveline decided to go short. Four words short.

  With a deep breath she placed the order and hoped that her message got through to him.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Greer tossed his keys in the bowl by the front door. The house was quiet as he made his way down the hall to the back of the house where the kitchen, dining and living room was. The entire back wall of his house was one giant window. That, paired with the high ceilings and very open floor plan made for a very airy space. Usually, he loved this room. Spent the majority of his time back there. Today his hand ached, ribs ached and head ached. Basically he felt like a walking Tylenol ad. Physical therapy was slow going and he hated every minute of it. In the world of instant gratification, the slow process of healing was torture. He could care less about his body, that could take as long as it wanted. Hell, if he never fully healed it wouldn’t be a big deal.

  But his hand…

  Greer’s fingers didn’t bend right, they were stiff and weak. As a musician, his hands were everything to him. They were his greatest asset and right now, they weren’t working. It was frustrating not being able to make a fist, let alone play his bass.

  Sawyer had canceled the last few dates of the tour. If it were just him, they could find someone to step in for the remaining dates but with Nix out too, they just said fuck it. The label wasn’t happy but they promised to get to work on their next album to smooth things over.

  If anything, it was good timing. School had started up again so Greer had therapy and homework to keep him busy. As planned, Aveline was in two of his classes. They hadn’t talked at all beyond the introductions they had to give to the class. Hers was generic and cookie cutter, nothing like the usual charismatic bio she had used previously. Then again, so was his. The only communication he had from her was the note in the flowers she had sent two weeks back. The flowers had long since died but her words lived on in his mind. The card was stuck on his refrigerator. The only thing to grace the stainless steel. Dozens of times a day he looked at it, wondered about it, cursed it. She had given him a riddle.

  Well, maybe not. Maybe he was just making it seem like a riddle.

  “Heal and have patience.”

  Greer looked at the card now. He opened the freezer to grab an ice pack for his hand and then looked at it again.

  The healing part he understood. It went along with the generic “Get well soon,” on the other side. It was the patience part that drove him insane. Patience for what? For healing or for them?

  He turned from the frustrating note and sat at the table with the ice on his hand. “Useless,” he said to the stiff appendage. “You are useless.” Without his hand, he felt pretty useless. It’s not like he could do much in his condition. Couldn’t write since, of course, it was his dominant hand. He couldn’t play…anything. He could barely get his pants on and shirt buttoned in the morning.

  Ok, so he couldn’t get his shirt buttoned. That was but a dream in his walking nightmare called life.

  At least the band was behind him. They wouldn’t perform again until he was up to full strength. That could take some time but as Rory said “We’ve got time. We also could use a break.” That was pure truth. When he was in the hospital, more Nix sightings were getting back to Sawyer. His friend stayed by him instead of heading off on the goose chase and man, if that didn’t just hit him right in the heart. Brothers man, these guys were his fucking family. Sawyer had others check out the leads but as always, they fell through.

  The one, though, the one sighting had been back at the bus. Greer had gotten a tingle of excitement when he heard. What if Nix had heard about everything and came to see him? What if…

  What if he had been sitting in a hospital bed for five days and needed any kind of good news to grasp at and occupy his otherwise boring days? Greer had gotten that tingle of excitement when Jason showed up with a burger and fries to replace whatever the hell they were passing off as food at the hospital. He wasn’t relying on his “tingles” very heavily.

  Kelly had checked it out and told them it was just a new roadie who had a vague resemblance to Nix if you squinted real hard and tilted your head to the left. If there was one thing that would give Greer a pick me up it would be Nix’s return.

  That or talking to Aveline.

  Have patience.

  Fuck, he hated riddles.

  They had two classes together and not once had either of them reached out to the other. Well, Greer had tried but always failed in the end. He’d type out this long and arduous email with more feelings than any man should be able to put into words. All done, by the way, with two fingers, typing agonizingly slow. But after he read it over he would always delete it. Self-doubt was killing his game right now.

  Greer removed the ice and flexed his hand. He could make a loose fist at this point. He was doing good, not great and not fast enough to his standards but his doctor sang his praises. What would Aveline think of his progress? Did she even know he was out of the hospital? Sawyer had said she promised to come back when he woke up but she never had. Cold feet was his best guess. Either that or she really was done with them. She had said she was done, had broken up with him but he was still holding out. Having patience.

  God, he was really beginning to hate that word.

  *****

  Doctor Sonya Carty was up and watering her flowers around the room. Six sessions into therapy and Aveline was feeling lighter than she ever had before. She didn’t feel like a stranger in the room anymore, this couch didn’t intimidate her as it had that first time. It was nice to have an unbiased person to talk to. Someone who didn’t know her past and didn’t judge her for anything she felt. Aveline found herself being more open and honest with everyone else because she was being more honest with herself.

  It was empowering.

  Today they were talking about Greer. She had been putting off that particular subject for as long as she could and she got away with it for the most part. But not today.

  “It sounds like you really love him,” Sonya said after Aveline explained how they met and their relationship up until this point.

  Aveline didn’t have a reply to that. Yes, she had been making waves in the honesty tide pool but she had not approached that tidal wave yet.

  “It’s useless, though. We can’t seem to ever find even ground.”

  “Why do you say that?” Sonya asked as she came back to her chair across from Aveline.

  “Something is always getting in the way of us being together. First it was Jamie and the likeness between them and then it was my mother passing. Not to mention our conflicting schedules.”

  She was not convinced. “Let’s look at those two events from a different angle. I do agree that the event with Jamie did push you apart, but who was it that kept you apart?”

  “Me but-”

  “Why?” she interrupted before Aveline could give an excuse. Sonya hated excuses. That was the first thing she had explained to Aveline during their initial session. “Excuses will get you nowhere. Either be honest or get out.”

  So honesty it was. “I was scared.”

  “Of what?”

  What was she scared of? Aveline
sat for a while, thinking of the answer to the question. It wasn’t of Jamie, he was being taken care of. It wasn’t of Greer. He would never harm her. So why did she push him away?

  “Getting close.”

  She nodded. “Good. You are very independent, Aveline. You had to grow up hard and fast to take care of your mom. You don’t lean on people unless you absolutely have to. Even your cousin Rob is a last resort. So when Greer came into your life, he threatened your independence because here was someone who you felt you could lean on, who you could depend on.”

  “Yes,” she said in a dry voice. She squeezed and twisted the glitter filled stress ball Sonya had her play with during the session. It gave her hands something to do and the dizzying waterfall of glitter allowed her to focus on something while she thought. “I didn’t want to rely on anyone else. For so long it has just been me. Greer’s such a good man. He wanted more.”

  “More what?”

  Aveline looked up. Sonya was watching her, listening. “More of me.”

  “Are you scared now?”

  Aveline shook her head. “No.”

  Sonya smiled. “Good. Now let’s revisit this resentment you feel. Do you still think it is Greer you are mad at?”

  “Not even a little,” Aveline said a bit relieved at finally saying it out loud. “I think he was just an easy target.”

  Even before Greer, she felt guilt towards her mother and their situation. So where had it originated from? Aveline already established that it wasn’t because of Greer but she did feel guilt when leaving to spend time with him. What came before Greer? Work. School. Neither of those things gave her even a twang of contrition. So what was it? Before all that was nothing. They were fine then, normal. That was when her mom was healthy and she was just getting started in college. It was the accident that changed everything. The accident…

  Fuck.

  Could she be any worse of a daughter? Seriously. Aveline felt sickened as realization hit.

  “Talk to me Aveline. What are you working through?” Sonya asked. She wasn’t one to talk for the sake of talking. If she saw Aveline working something through then she would sit back and let her figure it out on her own.

  “It’s my mom. I’m…I’m mad at my mom. If she hadn’t had that accident then none of this would have happened. Is that crazy? I feel like this sounds crazy but it also feels right. I resent her for getting in that accident. But…god, it's more than that. It's that she lived. She died in the ambulance but they got her back. If she would have just stayed dead…I feel like a horrible person right now. Who thinks that way?”

  Sonya jotted down something on the notepad she kept by her chair. “No, no, no. Not crazy or horrible. Just human. She upended your life. It may not have been done on purpose but it was still done. It’s ok to feel anger toward her.”

  “She’s why I spent the last few years working my ass off just to be in debt. Why I don’t have friends or any kind of social life. I put everything on hold for her and now that she is gone, I have nothing.” Aveline felt out of breath with the admission.

  “You’ve been holding on to this for years now. Now that you’ve acknowledged it you can also work on letting it go. Forgive your mom and yourself and work on building the life you want.”

  The life she wanted. What is it that she wanted? For so long it was always about what her mom needed. Want only factored into her time with Greer. That was the only time she grabbed hold of what she wanted without any regard to everyone else, including her mom.

  “I think that’s a good place to end today. You have a lot to consider. And think about what I said about your resentment, Aveline. It’s time to put yourself first.”

  Aveline stood and grabbed her bag. “I will. Thank you.”

  “I’m happy with your progress. So happy, in fact, I think we can cut back to one session a week. We’ll make it an hour and a half instead of the usual hour, sound good?”

  Aveline nodded. Doctor Sonya was right about one thing, she had plenty to think about. She said her goodbyes and made an appointment for the following week. Same time, same day.

  *****

  When she got home, Aveline pulled out her beaten laptop. She picked at the duct tape that was holding the CD drive in place as she waited for it to boot up. Poor thing had seen better days and sooner or later it was going to die completely on her. Aveline signed on to her school account and checked on all the notifications she had since the last time she signed in, yesterday. She was going along pretty well, the therapy session still rolling through the back of her mind when a name made her stop.

  Greer McQueen has replied to your post.

  Aveline clicked the link and was surprised to see he was responding to her initial introductory post. Every professor made them introduce themselves online in hope that it would make them feel less isolated. Basically, it was a rundown of your major, your hometown and your favorite book. They were pretty pointless because no one actually read them. Usually she made hers pretty entertaining with fun facts about nonsense. This year it was the basics.

  She noticed Greer had done the same.

  Seeing his avatar, the same one he had had since they met, stabbed at her heart. Aveline had been actively ignoring his name and face in discussions. He had been doing the same until now.

  It looks like we are in another class together. I’ve gotta ask. Are you stalking me?

  She laughed out loud as her eyes welled up. Before she could think better of it, she was responding.

  Says the stalker to the stalkee.

  She put a hand on her chest as she read over the words again. What would make him reach out like that? Aveline considered everything from he was checking in to he was drunk and would regret it in the morning. Hitting refresh every three seconds was just reiterating this stalker idea so she moved on to actual homework. Ten minutes into reading discussion posts and forming a response, her computer pinged with a notification.

  It was Greer again.

  Stalking, patience. Tomato, tomato.

  Aveline hadn’t even had time to process everything that had gone down in therapy today. She didn’t know what she wanted to do about Greer or how to go about it. He was telling her he was still there. She told him to have patience and he was saying what? That he was running out of it or was it just a friendly reminder that he was still waiting?

  Gut reactions. That was what Doctor Sonya was teacher her to listen to. Before the worry and doubt could cloud her judgment, what was the first thing that came to mind?

  Her initial reaction was to jump. She didn’t know why he reached out. Why now? But he had. That meant something. Aveline was going to tackle the problem of their relationship, or lack thereof, that weekend. She was going to formulate a plan. Maybe reach out and asked to see him. She wanted to know just how damaged they were.

  But her heart was telling her to throw away her plans and lists and just jump.

  It was time to start building the life she wanted.

  Aveline typed a reply. A grin on her face as she hit enter.

  Rewards come to those who wait.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “It’s sounding better.”

  “It sounds like shit. Fuck man, I haven’t played this bad since we were fourteen.” Greer shook out his hand and tried the riff again. It was there, just too slow and too choppy. His fingers were screaming at him to stop but Greer pushed on. He’d get this. Jason was more intuitive than he let anyone think and pushed the bowl of ice towards Greer.

  “Take a break,” he told him.

  Greer put down his bass and sunk his fingers into the ice bath.

  “You really are coming along well. Don’t push it though. We have plenty of other things we can work on right now.”

  Greer looked up at his friend from under the brim of his hat. “Like fan mail?”

  Jason grinned. “Don’t mock the fan mail. If someone takes the time to write out an actual letter on real paper and mails it with a stamp and everything, then I’m g
oing to take the time to reply.”

  “Better you than me.”

  “So you gonna tell me the real reason why you invited me over here today? I can’t imagine it was just to hear you bitch and moan about your playing.” Jason leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on the unlit fire pit. Fall was fast approaching and Greer was ready to get some use out of the thing.

  “I uh, talked to Ava last night.” Sort of.

  “What?” Jason sat up. “That’s great. What-”

  “Calm down there. It wasn’t anything earth shattering. I just made a comment on an old discussion board and she responded.” He took his hand from the ice and shook off the water. “She said that rewards come to those who wait.”

  “Why’d you reach out? I thought you were giving her space.”

  “Fuck space,” he said tossing his hands in the air. Greer leaned back and folded his arms. “I gave her space and I gave her time. She needed to give me something. Something more than a few words on paper. I need to know I’m not wasting my time, which I am. No guy in their right mind would wait around for a girl who broke up with him. They move on, not sit there like a lap dog and wait for them to come around.”

  Jason shook his head not agreeing. “The circumstances were different than most. She broke up with you through grief.”

  “I know that,” he said too loudly. “Dammit, I know. That’s why I’m still here, waiting. But I miss her.” Greer took his hat off and rubbed his head. “I miss everything about her. She made me happy, still does. I don’t know how since I haven’t seen her in weeks but when I think of her smile, I smile.”

  “She’s been in therapy.”

  Greer looked at Jason with nothing but confusion. “What? How do you know that?”

  “I might have called her,” he confessed. “She had said she wanted to be kept up to date and no one ever told her that you were moved back here and that you got out of the hospital. I thought Sawyer had and he assumed I did. I felt bad, so I called her. We talked for like ten minutes. She sounded relieved to hear you were doing well. Apparently Rob set her up with a therapist and she’s been working through everything.”