Kerdik sensed my dilemma and slid the crown from my fingers, resting it on my head as he’d done the first time I’d worn the stunning piece. He twisted my hair around it, blooming baby’s breath between the crown of braids Rigby had done for me.
“Tell me I’m enough without the crown,” I breathed in a pained whisper.
“You’re enough without the crown, but you’ll wear this one because I made it for you, and I want to see my love wearing my gift. Always their princess; always my queen.” He pressed a kiss to the vulnerable spot behind my ear. “Come, now.”
30
Needing a Little Lot
Kerdik offered me his elbow, moving us slowly out of the bedroom, past a bored Maurice and through the hallways to the visiting room Bastien and I had reunited in. I remembered well the sight of Mad sitting uncomfortably on the pristine cold and crimson furniture, offering me his hand in marriage as a way out of my crappy situation.
Lot had also offered to marry me at the Holy Crap, Rosie’s Alive! party. I hoped he wasn’t pissed at me for turning down his friendly offer.
Lot rose from his seat, flanked by two guards wearing the blue and black of his province. He cast me a sweet smile before he bowed his head to me. “Your majesty, it’s a privilege to see you again. Thank you for the invitation.”
“It’s good to see you, Lot.” Before I could stop myself, I offered up an awkward, “Sorry I look like this. I know it’s weird.”
Duke Lot smiled with a gentle dance in his eyes for me. “Not at all. Even when we traveled together to search for the Jewels of Good Fortune, I knew you were destined to wear a crown.”
Rigby covered over his smirk with his hand and cleared his throat, motioning to the chair he stood next to. “Your majesty.”
I tried to remember to sit up straight and play the part of someone who had their crap together.
Lot was dressed in his formal gear, complete with a small crown and a sash. He looked like a royal Ken doll. “I hope I’m not the first to congratulate you on your victory in winning this land for yourself.”
I blinked at him with a note of melancholy that seeped through. “You are, as a matter of fact. Thank you.”
Kerdik lowered me gently to the chair, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear in an almost territorial way Lot did not miss as he took his seat. Kerdik sat in a gold chair next to me, leaning back as he carefully observed the mild exchange.
My posture was rigid when I asked Lot’s guards and Rigby to please shut the doors for me and give us a minute so the three of us could be alone. When Lot’s guards protested, he waved them off. “It’s alright. The queen is an old friend of mine, and if Master Kerdik wishes me dead, there’s precious little the two of you could do to stop him.”
“How very true,” Kerdik nodded.
When we were alone, Lot asked for details of Morgan’s death, and the whole nine yards. When I got to the part about the higher magic, Lot’s head bowed with sadness. “Your messenger informed me as much, but I’ve not seen any of the dark creatures manifest in my land. Will my province be affected? I haven’t seen anything to indicate we might be in danger.”
Kerdik shook his head. “No. Brìghde and I blew the magic eastward, which means your province was skipped over. But Province 10 was hit, Province 1, and I assume the magic is on its way to its home in Éireland right about now.”
I decided not to beat around the bush. “I don’t want to live in Faîte anymore, Lot. I don’t belong here. I’ve got a life to return to.” Not much of one, granted, but I had a chance at boredom there. Beautiful, blissful boredom. Here, it was a barrage of death threats and bloody knives. No thanks.
Lot was quiet for a few beats. “I cannot say I’m surprised, but may I say that I’m a little sad that Avalon doesn’t get to keep its fair Rose?”
“Thank you. That’s very sweet.”
He touched his chin, looking like a dashing noble even in thought. “You’re marrying Bastien, I hear. Will he be going with you?”
I tossed him a smirk. “That’s the thing about married couples.”
Lot inclined his head to me. “Congratulations, Rosie. Truly. Bastien is a great man, and you deserve the very best.”
“Thanks, dude.” I took in his sincerity, and wished a friend like him for all men and women everywhere. Lot was unselfish, kind and saw past the hype to who you truly were. “You’re a good guy.”
Lot sat straighter in his chair. “Which leads us to talk of business. Province 1 will merge with Province 10, I assume?”
“No. That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you. King Urien’s putting out an edict kicking out everyone who’s been affected by the dark magic.” I kept my chin level to the ground, feigning that I had my crap together. “I don’t agree with this. Sure, the violent ones need to be dealt with, but the others should be able to live as normal of lives as they can.”
Lot’s blond eyebrows pulled together in consternation. “Well, obviously I agree with that. King Urien’s really casting out all the victims?”
I nodded. “I won’t hand more land and power over to a kingdom who does that. I want to merge Province 1 with someone who will take care of the people who’ve been jerked around by Morgan, and now this new magic. It won’t be easy, but they deserve to feel safe.”
“And you’re sure you can’t stay to give them that?”
I shook my head sadly. “I can’t even give myself that.” I lifted the edge of my upper lip to show him my slightly longer incisor. “I caught myself a case of the crap magic, so I can’t go live with my dad. I need to get out of here, Lot. Seriously. This was never my home. I’ve given enough to Avalon. I shanked my own mom to end all the craziness, and now my dad’s kicking me out of my home because I caught a nasty Vampire virus.”
Lot gasped, a wave of fear cresting over his features when it started dawning on him that some of the dangers would never leave the land. “No!”
Kerdik held up his hand. “She’s an Attelage, obviously, and she’s already bonded with Bastien. She’s of no harm to anyone but him.”
Lot settled back in his chair, but his eyes were wide and concerned as he studied me in this new light. “I can see why you care so much for their plight now. How can I help?”
I softened, my shoulders relaxing that I’d chosen the right person for the job. “I want you to merge with Province 1, but only if you promise to welcome in the refugees my da—King Urien is kicking out. They need someone kind and good, and I’ve known you to be only those things.”
Lot put his hand to his chest at my grand words. “Thank you, my queen. I feel the same way about you. Of course I can do that. I’m honored. Whole wars are fought to gain land from a neighboring country. That you’re handing this to me with so few stipulations is a wonder I’m not worthy of.”
Kerdik stood. “Then get worthy.”
I tried to keep the exchange civil, ignoring Kerdik’s tartness towards Lot. “The Attelage Vampires should be allowed to live their lives as normally as they can.”
“Agreed. What of the Farouche? They’re a danger, Rosie.”
I nodded, my hands in my lap. “I’d like them to be put in the dungeon until a cure can be found. They can live off of animal blood donated from the butchers after they do their daily slaughters. I’d like a system worked out to where one gallon of animal blood equals a tax break.” I didn’t turn my head to look at Kerdik, but could see in my periphery that he was holding back a smile of appreciation at my ruling.
Lot blinked at me. “And if no cure can be found?”
“I’m sure they prefer imprisonment to death.” I tilted my head to the side. “So soon you’re giving up hope?”
“No. It’ll be done as you wish it.”
“Thank you. The people need to have a spirit of compassion for their fellow man. They need to take care of their neighbors, especially when their friends can’t look after themselves anymore.”
“I can appreciate the logic of that.”
Kerdik
leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You’ll move your kingdom here, Duke. This is a larger and far more well-cared-for piece of land. I’ll get started on setting up the aqueducts here.” Kerdik brushed his fingers over my knuckles, sending a shudder of desire through me I tried to quell. His voice was serious with promise. “If this is to be your legacy, I’ll see it grander than any of the others.”
I caught Kerdik’s hand and pressed it to my face, indulging in the feel of his skin on mine. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Say that after you see the fountain I’m going to build you.” Kerdik met Lot’s eyes in a warning. “That Rosie thinks you can do this speaks highly of you. I’ll set up the land so your people have running water instead of a localized well system, as they do now. I’ll make sure your land is fruitful enough to sustain the civilians and refugees. After that, however, do not rely on me to make this place great. I’ll only be back every few years to check on Rosie’s land. It’s to you to defend my love’s legacy. See that you don’t disappoint me. I don’t do well with disappointment.”
Lot rose and bowed his head to Kerdik. “As you wish it, Master Kerdik. I’ll keep her province afloat, and I’ll even return it to her better than she left it, if she should ever come back to us.” Lot reached out and clutched my hand, his smile brightening the whole room, as was his charm. “Thank you, my queen. Thank you for this. I’ll honor your request, and all the good you’ve brought to Avalon.”
I felt like a hug was the thing to do in a situation like this, but I was afraid that if I indulged in anything that softened me, I would burst into tears all over again. Apparently, only a hundred times a day is my hard limit.
My stomach grumbled an angry tune, frustrated that Bastien was so far from me. “Sorry. Did you want a tour of the castle? I mean, you can live wherever you like, but if you want to stay here, it’s all yours.”
“Here,” Lot ruled without hesitation. “You’ve not been to Province 5. This is quite the step up. But it’s yours, should you return to Avalon. Is that clear? I don’t want you to think you and your future husband don’t have a home in this world. Should you come back to us, Province 1 is yours to rule as you see fit, and this is the home you’ll stay in.”
This was the time for a hug, and I couldn’t hold back. I braced myself against my impending tears and flung myself into Lot’s arms. “That was the perfect thing to say. Thank you. If I ever come back, I call the top bunk.”
Lot chuckled, squeezing me as tight as his well-bred manners would allow. “Anything you like, sweet girl. Come now, show me the home I’m to keep watch over for you.” Lot extended his elbow to me, bowing to Kerdik, who excused himself to put his finishing touches on my kingdom so I could finally leave Avalon behind.
31
Leaving Avalon Once and For All
“Honey, you need to calm down.” It was the tenth time Reyn had said as much to Lane, but she was in no mood to listen. They were both healing from significant wounds, so they cantered on the same horse, which meant their back and forth didn’t catch much of a break.
“This is me calm. I swear, if I wasn’t bent on leaving Avalon, I’d rage against Urien so hard, he wouldn’t know what hit him.” For the fifteenth time that day, Lane turned to me and said, “You know none of this is your fault, right, babe? Urien made a bad call. The second we cross over, he’ll regret it.”
“Uh-huh.”
Draper chimed in with a vehement, “Good riddance to any father who turns his back on his own kid.”
Bastien didn’t say anything, but squeezed me around the ribs, warming my cold insides. He could feel how down in the depths I was, yet despite it all he didn’t turn his back on my pain. Not when I’d begged him to leave me after I drank from him at our reunion. Not even after I told him that I was an outcast in my own land now. Not even after he’d seen the fountain Kerdik had built in Province 1, marking the land as mine.
I was marked, alright. The fountain was enormous – easily three stories tall. There was the crew in all our glory with water pouring down us as we stood in various poses of fight and heroism. Lane, Draper and Reyn with their crowns, then Bastien, Kerdik and me, with Lot standing a little ways apart to the side.
The intricacy of the sculpture would make even Michelangelo green with envy. However, that wasn’t the buzz around the province. I was the scandal. My likeness was carved in marble in the center of the fountain. Of all things, my nipples were displayed prominently through the thin drapery effect of my dress, and stood proudly to declare to the nation that yes, I am a woman.
Lane and Draper had been none too pleased about that one.
Bastien’s stone likeness stood to the right and slightly in front of me, looking fierce in his burly protection of my family. Kerdik, that sneaky snake, carved himself with an arm wrapped around my waist from behind, claiming and clutching.
My face was… well, I can’t remember ever making that face. It was fierce and noble, my chin raised as if to say, “Screw you, opposition. Come and get it.”
My nipples were sending the “come and get it” message as well, but apart from a shouting match with Kerdik, Bastien had decided he was going to let that one go.
Bastien stuck by me, holding me in the quiet moments when I couldn’t find my voice to tell him I was screaming inside. That’s the thing about the man you take with you through multiple worlds. Wherever I landed, I was grateful I had him.
I hadn’t cried at all today, and part of me knew my vulnerable parts had iced over. It had been days, actually. When I’d kissed Rigby goodbye that morning, he’d teared up, but I remained tucked inside myself. I’d hit some sort of pain threshold I couldn’t come back from.
“Do ye think I could convince a few stone smithies to carve out a sculpture of me?” Link squeezed his pectoral muscle. “My glorious breasts deserve to be commemorated just as much as Rosie’s do.”
Bastien cringed. “I’m about to turn around just so I can tear that stupid thing down.”
“I’m with you, man,” Judah nodded, his face stony. “More than I ever needed to see of you, Ro.”
Link sniggered as we neared the compound that held the entrance to Common. Such a different experience it was riding in, than sneaking out with death at our heels. “Now, now. Whenever we miss our fair lass, all we’ll have to do is look up and see her… personality beaming out at us.”
Lane was in heavy mama bear mode, and shouted Link’s ear off until he finally gave up on his lame jokes. Link was the only one who treated me as he always did. Crass though he was, there was a certain comfort to it. Everyone else spoke softly to me, and helped me with the simplest things as though I was too delicate for carrying my own pack. The strangest part about it all was that I let them. I didn’t have my usual independence and fight. Though I’d struggled tooth and broken nail to break free of Avalon, now that we were on the brink of that goal being realized, I felt unsettled. I wanted to leave, but not like this. Not with a dad who didn’t want me, a land that needed healing, and a boyfr… a Kerdik who would keep part of my heart with him in Avalon.
Kerdik’s ring sparkled on my finger, with Bastien’s on my left hand. I felt like a fraud sporting such luxuries while wearing jeans and a tank top. Bastien had me pick a gem from the treasury, and bought the gold to have it made into an engagement ring. It was a simple diamond, square-cut to match my aquamarine, though a slight bit larger. Bastien compared the stones side by side to make sure his was bigger. Insert your standard penis insecurity implications here.
Bastien dismounted and checked the area for signs of a threat. Though the army belonged to me and Lot now, I guess, we were all groomed to expect opposition. Mad’s hands reached up to help me down after he’d swung Annabelle to the ground. He didn’t say a word, and didn’t need me to fill the silence, either. Mad seemed to get that there weren’t words, so he didn’t press me for them. He reached for Annabelle’s tiny hand, who was already stretching out her arm to connect to her Papa. Try as he might to shake t
he little girl, they needed each other, and had a slightly more hopeful fate now that they were together.
Judah wasn’t too keen on the compound. “Definitely a better experience when you’re about to walk in with permission rather than being dragged out kicking and screaming. Still.” He shuddered, moving closer to Lane and me.
Lane’s arms moved easily around Judah, but mine stayed put. I don’t know why I couldn’t bring myself to hug my bestie. I suppose if I had actual comfort to give anyone, I’d keep a little for myself.
Link, Mad and Bastien drew their swords while Draper and Reyn readied their knives. Link led the way with his chest barreled and his voice booming. “Make way for Duchess Elaine and the Avalon Rose!”
The doors swung open, greeting us with the strangest sight. Lining the hallway of the compound were hundreds of soldiers, each standing at attention and saluting us. I stumbled back, but Mad caught me before I fled. “This is your due. Best not run from it.”
I’d only met the new Captain of the Guard once two days ago when Rigby had arranged a formal sit-down. His name was David, and he had a no-personality way about him that made for a tough leader who was to be respected. David, Lot and I had sat down and discussed how things were to be run in Avalon, and how the soldiers were to behave. We even included punishments that would be carried out if the soldiers were found to be lacking in the protect-and-serve capacity. Lot and I actually made a pretty decent team, and each night that I’d fallen asleep, I kept that small amount of peace tucked in my heart. I wasn’t abandoning Avalon; I was giving them a ruler I trusted.
Stubborn Girl: A Fantasy Adventure (Faite Falling Book 7) Page 17
