Crazy Stupid Love (Crazy Love #1)

by Melissa Toppen

  The door no more than latches closed before I feel the onset of what has become almost a daily struggle in my life. Headaches so severe they are downright disorienting. I drop my head into my hands, the sudden and violent pain shooting through my skull causing the entire room to seem to shift sideways. I groan out, squeezing my forehead with my hand as I wait for the pain to pass. It always does, eventually.

  Just another reminder of how much the accident changed. How much it changed me, both physically and emotionally. I guess that’s what happens when you suffer severe head trauma; it fucks you up in all kinds of ways.

  While the headaches are enough to bring me to my knees sometimes, they have nothing on the pain I feel festering deep within myself. I can take the physical pain, no matter how bad it gets. I think of it as somewhat of a punishment; God’s way of torturing me even further for what I’ve done.

  Another sharp pain and my stomach twists violently, my body fighting to deal with the intensity of it. I struggle to take a deep breath, and it seems I can’t get my lungs full enough as the pain continues to grow.

  “Fuuuuck,” I scream out, pushing against the bar as I try to fight through the feeling that my head is on the verge of exploding.

  I try to focus on my breathing, forcing my lungs to inhale and exhale despite the fact that it feels like there is a thousand pounds sitting directly on top of my chest. But just when I feel like I can't take any more and my body has reached its capacity for the pain coursing through it, it eases, dying away completely within a matter of seconds.

  Straightening my posture, I slowly open my eyes one at a time, afraid to push too hard too fast and have the pain come billowing back. Taking another deep breath, I push out of the bar stool, my body still feeling slightly shaky.

  As soon as I’m sure it has passed, I make a grab for the bottle of whiskey directly across the bar from me. Not wasting my time on a glass, I tip the bottle to my lips and let the heated liquid drain down my throat.

  When I finally resurface, a third of the bottle is gone and my chest burns like fire. I relish in the pain, the heat searing my insides as it soothes my mind.

  Sliding on my jacket, I make my way towards the front door, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it the moment I step out into the chilly night air. Taking a deep drag, the smoke fills my lungs, calming me.

  It always takes me a few minutes to come out of the daze my pain-riddled episodes leave me in, and tonight is no exception. Taking another hit from my cigarette, I try to focus on the taste, the smell, the way the nicotine seems to calm the small tremor still running through my hands.

  ****

  “So are you gonna take me somewhere private or what?” The sexy redhead in front of me leans over the bar and trails her hand down the side of my face.

  “That depends.” I pull away from her touch.

  “On what?” She slides back down into her stool.

  “On whether or not you can make it until close without puking,” I say, already knowing she won’t make it another hour before she finds her head in a toilet.

  “Done.” She smiles, taking the shot in front of her before spinning around and rejoining her friends on the dance floor.

  “What is that, five now?” Val steps up next to me, an amused expression lighting up her face.

  “Six, but who’s counting.” I let a laugh roll through me.

  “I swear to God, women have no shame.” She laughs, nudging me in the side with her elbow.

  “You would know.” I slide two shots across the bar to one dude before nodding to the next guy who immediately asks for a beer.

  “That’s why I like them so much.” She runs a hand through her boy short dark hair and gives me a playful smile. “One of these days you’re going to have to let me show you how to really please a woman.” She laughs when I arch my brow at her.

  “I think I got that covered,” I reply, lining the bar with four shot glasses before pouring each one full of vanilla vodka.

  “Well, the offer stands regardless.” She hits me with a teasing grin before sliding down the bar to help another customer.

  Val was the very first bartender we hired after the bar opened. She’s a bit of a spit fire but given the atmosphere, it seems to work in her favor. I never have to worry about her being able to take care of herself with this rowdy crowd. She’s small, but she definitely knows how to fend for herself.

  I can’t help but shake my head at her when she leans across the bar and lays a kiss directly on the mouth of one of our male customers. Despite the fact the she’s one hundred percent same sex interested, she still plays her role nicely. She’s here to make money, and she knows how to do just that.

  Turning my attention back to the endless amount of drink orders, I quickly fall back into a groove, sliding drinks across the bar without even really paying attention as to who I’m serving them to. As long as they have a yellow wristband that says they are over twenty-one, I don’t need to know who they are.

  We are slammed tonight. So much so that I had to pull my ass out of the bed I’ve been laying in all day to come down and help Val and Gavin bartend. Of course, had Matt not called off they would have been fine without me. That fucker better actually be sick. If I find out he called off on a Friday night for some other bullshit reason, his ass will be looking for a new job.

  “Can I have a water please?” I hear a familiar voice and look up to find a big set of beautiful blue eyes staring back at me.

  Kimber.

  It takes me a moment to get over my shock of seeing her here, but I quickly recover.

  “What are you doing here?” I smile, grabbing a glass, quickly filling it with water before setting it on the bar in front of her.

  “I’m celebrating.” She shrugs, taking a long drink of water, her gaze temporarily leaving mine.

  She looks incredible tonight. Her petite frame is draped in a royal blue sleeveless dress that clings to her chest and flares at her waist. Her blonde hair is pinned back loosely, a few escaped strands falling around her face. Like the other times I’ve seen her, her makeup is light and natural, not that she even needs it. I don’t know that I have ever met anyone as naturally beautiful as the woman standing in front of me.

  Just watching her full lips close around the rim of her glass is enough to make my groin tighten. Fuck...

  “What are you celebrating?” I wait until she lowers the glass before asking.

  “My birthday. Angel and Harlee wouldn’t let me out of going out. I figured if they were going to force me to celebrate, I might as well use it to my advantage.” She points to the dance floor where I immediately spot her two friends from last weekend.

  “They don’t waste much time,” I observe, watching the two girls who have already managed to draw quite a crowd of men around them. Shaking my head, I turn my attention back to her.

  “No kidding.” She laughs, looking back towards me.

  When her eyes meet mine again, an instant blush floods her face. It’s deep enough that it’s visible even under the dim bar lighting. Fuck, it takes everything I have not to reach across the bar and touch her.

  I can still taste her, feel the way her bottom lip trembled against mine. My eyes immediately find her mouth, and I suck in a ragged breath. That kiss is all I have thought about since last night.

  “Happy Birthday,” I manage to get out, trying to pull my shit together as I once again meet her gaze.

  “Thank you.” She gives me a shy smile, clearly still not sure if she made the right choice coming here.

  I want to tell her she didn’t. In fact, coming here was the worst decision she could have made. There is no way I am going to be able to let her walk out of here tonight. I can’t fight how deeply I crave this girl. But then again, something tells me she already knows this, and that is exactly why she is here.

  “How about a birthday shot?” I ask, grabbing a shaker glass.

  “Oh no, thanks.” She shakes her head. “I don’t drink.”

&n
bsp; “Ever?” I ask, surprised by her response.

  “I mean, I have before but I don’t usually. Besides, I’m only nineteen, and I don’t want to get you in trouble.” The color of her cheeks only deepens.

  Fuck me; this girl is going to be the fucking death of me.

  “Nineteen...” I let it hang it there for a long moment. I knew she was young but fuck, I didn’t know she was that young.

  “How old are you?” She hits me with curious eyes.

  “Twenty-five.” I give her a short answer before changing the subject back to the matter at hand. “Now how about that birthday drink? I insist.” I hit her with a reassuring smile when she opens her mouth to protest, snapping it shut when she finally accepts that I’m not going to take no for an answer.

  Proceeding to fill the shaker glass with ice before adding a variation of liquids to it, I can feel her eyes on me as I pour the purple drink into her glass and slide it towards her.

  “Purple Hooter.” I laugh lightly at how apprehensive she looks. “It’s good, I promise; very fruity.”

  “How do I know I can trust you?” She narrows her eyes at me.

  Leaning across the bar, I stop only when my face is just a few short inches from hers.

  “You can’t,” I speak low, my gaze holding hers.

  I’m close enough that I can hear her sharp inhale and see the way the heat floods her eyes. It’s the first time I’ve ever been convinced that her mind is exactly where mine is.

  Without another word she slowly lifts the glass to her lips, her eyes not leaving mine as she pours the liquid down her throat.

  Chapter Seven

  Kimber

  I know he’s watching me. I can feel his eyes burning into the flesh of my back as I move freely across the dance floor, my blue A-line dress swirling around me. Harlee and Angel finally managed to drag me out here after four shots of the purple liquid Decklan has kept on endless supply for all three of us over the last hour.

  Every time we go to the bar there’s another set of shots lined up. After the first shot Decklan made me, he gave me three yellow bracelets and told me to have fun. I feel guilty for taking advantage of him in this way; I can only imagine the trouble he could get into if someone found out that not one of us is actually old enough to drink.

  Even still, I can’t deny how good it feels to finally just let loose. I came here to shed the girl I was in West Virginia; to reinvent myself. Since I’ve been here, I have done very little in the way of that. I guess it’s harder to branch away than I realized it would be.

  “Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot.” I hear Angel chant beside me before I feel her arm loop through mine and begin to pull me from the dance floor.

  “You really don’t need me do you?” I object, not ready to stop dancing yet; my body high on the warm buzz running through my veins.

  “Considering it’s your birthday.” Harlee appears at my other side. “Yes, we do.”

  We finally manage to fight our way through the crowd and reach the bar, but to my disappointment it is Gavin, the sexy bartender/co-owner I met last weekend, who serves us and not Decklan. Of course, the other two seem quite pleased by this fact, considering they know Decklan is off limits.

  Not like I have some claim on him or anything. But having heard me go on and on about him all day today, I think they pretty much gathered that I am very interested. Not to mention that is why they insisted on coming here tonight. They had to meet the man that had me all sorts of flustered and babbling like an idiot after the kiss he laid on me last night.

  My hand instinctively goes to my mouth, my fingers tracing lightly across my bottom lip as I remember the feeling of his touch, his taste, how powerfully he commanded my entire body.

  Snapping out of my daze, I try to act unfazed by Decklan’s absence. Taking one of the six shots Gavin sits in front of us, I tilt it to my lips, pouring the sweet liquid down my throat.

  Setting the empty glass back on the bar, I catch sight of Decklan just as he appears from a door to the right of the bar with a spunky little red head fast on his heels.

  My stomach twists violently and an instant rage swarms my body. I don’t have to think very hard about what they were doing behind wherever that door leads. I can tell by the girl’s disheveled hair and the way Decklan adjusts his shirt.

  It’s only seconds before his eyes meet mine, and I know instantly that my face must give away my reaction to what I just witnessed. I can tell by his own reaction, the way his features seem to tighten. Ripping my eyes away, I grab another shot and pour it down, then another, ignoring the cheers of my two friends who are clearly enjoying watching the uptight good girl from West Virginia pound shots like a mad woman.

  “Let’s go,” I holler over the music, not waiting for the girls to join me as I push my way back through the crowd.

  I don’t stop until I have reached the center of the dance floor, the effects of the shots starting to take hold as the music pounds through my ears. Within seconds, I feel two arms slide around me. Turning my face slightly, I’m met with a waft of cologne and the cocky smile of a good looking twenty-something.

  I have no idea who the guy is, but I don’t have it in me to protest when he tightens his grip on me and starts grinding against my backside. Normally I would be appalled by the action but tonight, tonight nothing is off limits. I’m sick of being Kimber Lynn James, the sweet, privileged girl from Wales, West Virginia. Tonight I’m just Kimber.

  Lifting my arms in the air, I let the thumping music take control, allowing my body to sway and move with the rhythm. I don’t care when the man’s hands travel across my abdomen. I don’t protest when I feel his hands thread through my hair as he pulls my head back. I barely register his lips on my neck when he leans forward and sucks on the sensitive flesh just below my ear. Hell, I don’t even open my eyes until I feel the loss of him completely.

  Jumping slightly, I turn just in time to catch sight of Decklan’s face before his hand closes around my forearm, and he forcefully pulls me from the dance floor. I try to object, ask him what the hell he’s doing, but my voice is lost to the noise around us.

  Leading me towards the bar, he doesn’t loosen his grip on me until he’s pushing me inside of the same door I just saw him exit a few moments earlier with the red head. I stumble slightly the moment we’re inside, looking around to find myself standing in a small stairwell.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Decklan’s voice is rough as he steps towards me, guiding me backward until my back becomes flush with the wall behind me.

  “Having a good time,” I answer sarcastically, not able to hide the hurt in my voice.

  “You sure? Because it looked to me like you were trying to send a message.” He presses his body into mine, pinning me between him and the wall.

  “Why would I do that?” I look up to find his face hovering just inches from mine.

  “You tell me.”

  “Is this where you bring all your girlfriends?” I break eye contact as I lift my hands to his chest and push, surprised when he takes a couple of steps backward.

  “I don’t have girlfriends.” He runs a hand through his messy hair.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Is this where you bring all your sluts?” I regret it the moment I say it, but the liquor flowing through me makes it difficult to control my tongue.

  “Why don’t you just say what this is about?” he challenges, his nostrils flaring slightly. “You saw me coming out of here with another woman, and you immediately assumed the worst,” he states.

  “Do you blame me?” I question, gesturing to him.

  “No,” he states simply. “Had I wanted to fuck her, I would have.”

  “Had you wanted to?” I stumble out, finally meeting his gaze again.

  “I live here.” He points up the stairs. “I came up to grab a clean shirt after having a drink spilled on me. When I came down, she was waiting for me. I told her to go home.”

  “So you didn’t?” I break off,
feeling all sorts of jealous girlfriend crazy right now and one hundred percent aware how desperate it makes me look.

  “No. I didn’t touch her.” He takes a step towards me, stopping when his body is once again directly in front of mine. “How could I when all I can think about is touching you?” His words are just above a whisper, but they sound so loudly through my ears they echo several times before the statement finally registers.

  “Then do it,” I challenge, struggling to keep my breathing even as I meet his deep gray gaze.

  He hesitates for only a moment before his lips crash down onto mine, his tongue seeking entrance into my mouth within seconds. I grant it, moaning when his taste and scent invade all of my senses.

  My hands find the back of his neck as I pull him closer to me, my fingers digging lightly into his flesh as the want coursing through my body starts to take hold. I feel like I can’t get him close enough. I want to feel him everywhere.

  Everywhere.

  I barely register my feet leaving the floor until I feel Decklan’s body shift below mine as he begins climbing the stairs, his arms securing me tightly against his muscular frame as he continues upward.

  He pushes his way through another door, but at this point, I am far too preoccupied to look around. The only thing that matters is this: the way his body flexes as he lowers my feet to the floor, the way his hands skirt up my bare back as he pulls the fabric of my dress over my head leaving me in nothing but my white lace panties.

  My eyes adjust to the darkness enough that I can see his silhouette in the light from the street lamp that filters into the otherwise dark room. I can see the ripple of his muscles as he drops his shirt to the floor, hear the rapid intakes of breath he takes as he pushes me back onto the bed and slowly removes my last article of clothing.

  My entire body goes ridged as he spreads my legs open, allowing his eyes to trail across my now bare exterior. I fight to keep my hands at my sides, my instinct to cover myself becoming almost unbearable as I feel the heat of his gaze take me in.

  I hear the buckle of Decklan’s jeans and the rustle of fabric as they fall to the floor, the anticipation of what’s to come making every part of my body ache with the need for his touch. The rip of a condom wrapper comes next, Decklan settling between my legs just moments later.